Unseen Terror 2018: Day 24

It is with the utmost apologies that I must retract a statement made on yesterday's post. After sitting through Prom Night III, I had concluded that the franchise was going into the same direction that Sleepaway Camp did (initial film is serious, sequels become progressively sillier). Thanks to Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil, I'm not quite sure of what the hell this series wants to do anymore. After heading into the realm of horror-comedy, the fourth film in the Prom Night universe decides to go back to basics. There's no supernatural elements, over-the-top humor, or Mary Lou. Just a demented killer (in this case, a priest that has suffered a psychotic breakdown from years of sexual abuse and must punish sinners) stalking adult actors that are playing promiscuous, older teenagers. It also chooses to emphasize the "slow burn" ala the first movie, rather than go for a relentless bloodbath. So, with these decisions in mind, does it amount to a decent little flick?

Boy, I'm legitimately shocked by how much I disliked this follow-up. Prom Night IV sacrifices any of the potential excitement that was present in the second and third entries, and those choices amount to something that you wouldn't even bat an eye towards if it came on at 3:00 A.M. while you were drunkenly channel surfing. While the first Prom Night wasn't exactly a barn burner, it at least had the addition of Jamie Lee Curtis to prevent boredom from kicking in, and it rewarded your patience with some nice kills along with a fairly memorable finale. The same can't be said for this flick though. Here, the list of performers does boast some surprising finds, including Fringe showrunner J.H. Wyman, Nicole de Boer from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Cube, and future Degrassi and Donkey Kong Country (remember that show?) star Joy Tanner. None of them are particularly bad, but the material that they're working with is another level below substandard and with how ridiculously sluggish the pace often is (much like its ancestor, it takes close to an hour before any real slaughtering begins), it makes the movie a real chore to get through. There's a scene involving Tanner playfully trying to "seduce" de Boer's character that while obviously is a cheap ploy to arouse the males in the audience, ends up coming across as slightly homophobic when you look at it now. Perhaps the only decent part of Prom Night IV's story comes from the not-quite-subtle criticism of the Catholic Church in the form of the evil Father Jonas, but even he's a fairly bland slasher villain when compared to pretty much everyone else out there, and ESPECIALLY when you remember that he's supposed to be our replacement for the charismatic and fun Mary Lou Maloney. Besides, it's likely that you'll never be able to top Lester Lowe from Silver Bullet, so don't even try son.


I'm always upset whenever I see a promising franchise either end on a whimper (Critters) or just outstay its welcome by churning out crappy sequel after crappy sequel (Hellraiser). Much like someone I know who does read this blog (sup Maddux!), I feel like the best thing that one can do with Prom Night IV is what they did with the aforementioned Sleepaway Camp: recommend the first three pictures, actively tell them to avoid the fourth, and reiterate that they should REALLY not bother with it should they offer you a halfhearted chuckle in return. However, if you are committed to finishing this damn franchise like I am (not counting the remake), then sure, go ahead and drop close to thirty dollars on the DVD that comes packed with its far superior predecessor. Or go stream it on Amazon Prime. Or just lock yourself in your room and google search for more photos of Courtney Taylor from Prom Night III.

Tomorrow, I think I'm done with slashers, and I feel like it's time to restore some dignity back to Unseen Terror. Much like before, maybe Criterion can provide me with some quality entertainment?

Unseen Terror 2018: Days 20 & 21

Ahhh, I suppose it's time to watch something new that should lift my spirits. Outside of one very odd Frank Henenlotter piece, I don't think I've watched any "true" horror-comedies for this year's marathon. So, per the recommendation of various sources, I say let's kick off the twentieth day with a bang!

Well then. 

Sure, this isn't the first blunder that I've made while I was assembling a list for Unseen Terror. And you can make an argument that this project in question can technically qualify as a "zombie" movie, or even a take on the storyline found in The Wasp Woman. At the end of the day though, Robert Zemeckis' 1992 hit Death Becomes Her barely sports any sort of ties to the horror genre. It's too late to turn back now though, so let's get on with this review. The plot revolves around a pair of female rivals named Madeline (Meryl Streep), who is an egotistical, conniving actress and Helen (Goldie Hawn), an aspiring writer whose career has yet to take off. Several years ago, the former effectively helped ruin the latter's life by not only taking her fiancé (played by Bruce Willis), but driving her to obesity and utter insanity. After spending time in a mental ward, Helen feigns rehabilitation, and she finds herself released on good behavior, though she is obviously plotting revenge on the woman who stole everything from her. Madeline, whose marriage and acting career have certainly seen better days, attends a book release party thrown by Helen, and is shocked to find that she looks as youthful and gorgeous as she did back when they first met. Dumbfounded, she digs around to discover the secret behind this, and eventually comes into contact with a woman (Blue Velvet's Isabella Rossellini) who offers her a "youth" potion that will promise her everlasting beauty. Unbeknownst to both Madeline and Helen though, are the very morbid consequences that come with drinking this magical concoction.


First off, I don't feel like it's terribly necessary to discuss just how good our two female leads are. Streep in particular is just so damn good at adapting to whatever genre you ask her to take part in (how she hasn't done something like a dark, psychological horror piece yet is beyond me), and Hawn just has naturally great comedic timing, body language, and delivery with every little quip or jab she's been given. Perhaps who took me by surprise the most was a man whose body of work over the past several years has been so lousy that it made me forget just how solid he used to be: Bruce f'n Willis. As we watch Madeline and Helen descend into madness, you begin to realize that he's one of the only halfway decent human beings that is left in the horribly strange world found in Death Becomes Her. A former plastic surgeon who has been reduced to being a mere mortician due to his alcoholism and frustrating marriage, it's hard not to feel for the guy when you see that nobody really cares for his wellbeing, but rather strive for his gifted hands.


Beyond the acting, Death Becomes Her contains great makeup work, and some very solid, award-winning (though slightly dated) visual effects. A particular sequence involving Streep and what happens with her body after she has been pushed down a long flight of stairs looks pretty great, as does one scene involving Hawn and a "hole" of hers. Both are likely to elicit some great laughs from those who have a pretty sick sense of humor. Most of the flick's first and second act are peppered with some great, darkly comedic moments that work so well because of the talented cast, but it does feel like some steam is lost during the third. Don't get me wrong, the final twenty-or-so minutes of this Zemeckis vehicle aren't bad per se, but they're predictable and a bit clunky. Luckily, the bits at the very end are undoubtedly some of the aspects that will stick with you long after the credits have rolled.


Is this one a horror-comedy? Is it just a dark fantasy with a wicked, twisted sense of humor? Well, whatever you prefer to call Death Becomes Her, it's quite the entertaining ride. I firmly believe that unless you are absolutely anti-Hollywood, there's quite a bit of material to enjoy here. As of this time, this early 90s fan favorite can be watched on Starz-On-Demand, and Scream! Factory released it on what is reported to be a pristine-looking Blu-Ray. Give this one a whirl.




Well, I figured that for the following day, I must atone for this potential mistake. So, per a quick perusing around the internet, I settled on a newer, and what some call a "proper" horror-comedy.

For the past several months, it appeared as though the trailer for Slice, the feature-length debut from writer/director Austin Vesely, was THE talk of the town in the horror community. Me though? I just never got around to watching it due to laziness on my part. Because of that, I went into this motion picture completely blind with no expectations whatsoever. The very first thing that I contemplated after finishing Slice was turning Death Becomes Her back on. After that, it was popping my Blu-Ray of Brain Damage back into my disc drive. After THAT, I sincerely debated just waiting to review this for something akin to a "rest of the bunch" post later on. But rather than delay, I'll just get this one out of the way.


The story of Slice is a bit of a messy one. In essence, it's a murder mystery centered around pizza delivery drivers being slaughtered, with one of the victim's ex-girlfriend (Zazie Beetz of Deadpool 2) pushing forward in her investigation, and a slew of accusations being thrown at various culprits, including lycanthropes, drug peddlers, and ghosts. Perhaps a disgraced ex-Chinese takeout worker (who also happens to be a werewolf) has something to do with the whole ordeal though. So, yeah. That sure sounds like a wacky, almost cartoonish premise does it not? Well, despite sporting some fairly original ideas, Slice does feel like the classic example of style over substance. And yet, even the "style" aspect isn't particularly good either. Quirks like having the recently-deceased constantly hanging around people at all times like it's not a big deal are clever, but we've seen this same thing done in better movies over the past few decades.


What really brings Slice down several notches is just how much good material could have come from everything that we see on screen. Zazie Beetz proved that she can be pretty damn funny and commanding this past summer as Domino, but her character's personality traits are seemingly limited to being irritable and "I'm out for revenge." Performers such as Paul Scheer and Chris Parnell are comedians that we should treasure and never waste, and they damn sure try their best with the lines that they're delivering. Hell, even Chance the Rapper, making his film debut here shows a lot of promise. What it all boils down to here is the source material (a.k.a. the script) being utterly lousy. Very few, if any of the jokes land and most are structured the same way that a "laugh track" TV comedy show is. The horror aspects don't feel particularly scary, or come close to anything resembling even mild tension. Worst of all, the entire experience just feels far more boring than something with this much talent ever should. On more than a few occasions, I thought that this could do much better as a television series. In the hands of someone with far more experience and a little supervision, the sheer absurdity and hidden metaphors that they try to insert into its running time could work wonders instead of stumble around.


While I have to give Slice points for originality, the film as a whole just feels like wasted potential. I'm sure that the late night stoner audiences will bolster this picture's legacy a smidge, but for me, it's a shockingly dull miss from a company that is usually very reliable when it comes to quality releases (still love you though A24). I'm going to be legitimately shocked if I remember much of anything about this one when Halloween comes around next week. Still, if you want to give this one a try and join in any future discussions about it, Slice is currently streaming on Amazon Prime.




Tomorrow, I feel the need to spice things up. Let's see what some "Vinegar" can do....

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 19

October 31, 1978: after escaping from Smith's Grove Sanitarium, serial killer Michael Myers murders several people before being stopped by a combination of young Laurie Strode and his psychiatrist Dr. Samuel Loomis. Forty years later, Michael remains in a mental ward and Laurie has turned into a PTSD-stricken recluse, which has caused a rift between her and her family. Two podcasters arrive at Laurie's abode to interview her about the experience, and after informing her of the news that Michael is due to be transferred to a maximum security prison, try to convince her to see the masked madman one more time as an attempt to get him to speak. Even though they feel it would act as "closure" of sorts, she declines, as she wants nothing more than to finally kill him when he inevitably escapes and returns to their small town to kill again. As fate would have it, it isn't long until the news reports that the bus which was to take Michael to his new penitentiary has crashed...



"Hello Michael..."


Those two words, as simple as they are, have more power in them than the average moviegoer thinks. There has been a rather lengthy break between the release of 2018's Halloween and the last entry in this franchise to receive a theatrical release: Rob Zombie's maligned Halloween II, which I admittedly have yet to finish due to my disdain for its predecessor. Still, when news broke of a new motion picture being developed for release, I know that some fans like myself were intrigued, if not extremely cautious. Then, a plethora of additional information was released over the course of several months, including the presence of Mr. John Carpenter as both executive producer AND composer, and in what must have been the biggest shock of all, the return of Jamie Lee Curtis as iconic heroine Laurie Strode. The recipe was there for a return to form for a franchise that had been bogged down by a string of misfires and divisive sequels. Thankfully, much like Michael Myers himself does throughout most of these flicks, we can all breathe easy.

As I'm sure that most people who are reading this review (all ten of you) have heard, 2018's Halloween is a direct sequel to the original John Carpenter classic, which effectively erases every other entry in this franchise from continuity. A ballsy move to make for sure, but not an entirely foreign concept (look to Superman Returns as an example, and keep your eye out for William Gibson's Alien 3-related comic book that's set for release very soon). Personally, I don't have a problem with this whatsoever, especially if it means that we are lucky enough to see Jamie Lee Curtis return in a starring role. I'll stand by my opinion that Laurie Strode is the quintessential "final girl," though when we first meet this iteration of the character, she has done more than grow up. Gone is the innocent, relatively pure young lady who was barely able to fight off the attacks of a lunatic, and in her place is an alert, fully prepared woman. Curtis is just on fire here, turning in a performance that feels slightly similar to what Linda Hamilton did with Sarah Connor in Terminator 2. This is a human being who while possibly crazed in her own sort of way, has been through an ordeal that could traumatize at least 95% of people and change them for the worse. She's backed up this time around by an equally strong cast, including Judy Greer (Arrested Development) as her daughter and Andi Matichak (Orange is the New Black) as her granddaughter. Greer is usually on point, though I feel like it took me quite a bit of time to warm up to her considering that she seems relatively unenthused for the first few scenes that we see her in. Matichak's body of work is noticeably smaller than that of her costars, but her mannerisms and ability to elicit genuine fear (one sequence involving her in the back of a cop car will cause your chest to tighten) makes me hope that we see more from her in the future. We're also introduced to Dr. Ranbir Sartain, who serves as this film's new Dr. Loomis (so much so that Strode blatantly calls him that), and even though I felt like all he was doing was emulating a protagonist from the past, there are some fascinating aspects to his character that will take you by surprise.

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Halloween doesn't skip out on the blood either. One thing to admire about Michael's (portrayed again by original actors Nick Castle and Tony Moran, as well as series newcomer James Jude Courtney) entire existence is just how "human" he appears to be in comparison to his slasher brethren. Well, at least if we discount some of the weirder shit that happens in the later entries, but I digress. He's often been compared to a force of nature, and this time around his ruthlessness is akin to that of a hurricane. On more than a couple of occasions, I managed to belt out the occasional "Jesus!" when he was disposing of any poor soul in his path, and the average theater attendee could be quite shocked seeing that the man who sat in the director's chair for Pineapple Express had this kind of brutal imagination inside of his head. There are throwbacks and nods to slayings from the o.g. movie, and some of the newer, gorier methods will probably find their way onto the next YouTube video that you scour for during those late evenings. It does beg the question as to just how bloody strong someone like this could be considering his age and how lengthy his internment was, but I'll just go with the obvious answer: it's a god damn horror movie. Besides, if the filmmakers had tried to tell the audience that he was constantly working out when not contemplating revenge, you would have either accused them of ripping off Cape Fear or just being silly. All of this morbidity comes to a head in an absolutely tense third act which could rival anything found in this year's horror standouts. All of these aforementioned moments are accompanied by an outstanding soundtrack provided by the wonderfully talented John Carpenter himself, and I'd be rather shocked if those who end up disliking this picture came out saying that they hated the music too. It's electrifying, creepy, and perfect for your next horror-themed get-together.


Is this newest entry in the Halloween franchise perfect? Absolutely not. In addition to those quips that I alluded to, there is some typical "stupid people in slashers" logic that pops up, though that's the norm with even the best of the bunch in this subgenre, and some folks might get a little irritated with just how much referencing there is to the films of yesteryear. However, 2018's Halloween still feels like the direct sequel that longtime, patient fans have deserved for so, so long. We've had a spectacular year for horror so far (and there's still a lot more to come), and David Gordon Green's first real foray into the horror genre comes out swinging......er, better make that "slashing." It's a damn fine reason to go to your local cineplex and be reminded of the power of scarier cinema, and also a firm reason for why I can never stray away from this morbid genre. Because if older properties can be rescued from the bottom of the barrel and given better treatment, then why stop?



Speaking of that, if there's any justice in the world, Dimension will finally let the rights for Hellraiser lapse as they did this, and we can see the world of the Cenobites restored to its former glory. I'll be waiting...



Tomorrow, I feel as though we need something a bit more lighthearted, so let's take a trip back to the first half of the 90s, shall we?

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 15

During the 1950s, a young couple are subjected to anti-nuclear testing, which seems to work exactly as desired according to multiple scientists. Nine months later, and coinciding with the tenth anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing, the couple give birth to a healthy baby boy. Suddenly, the happy parents burst into flames, seemingly due to as one doctor puts it "spontaneous human combustion." Decades later, their child Sam is a fully grown man, and finds that he's occasionally suffering from random physical outbursts, which start to leave odd marks on his body. It doesn't take long for him to discover the truth behind his upbringing and creation, and he doesn't handle these revelations very well.



If there's one thing that can be said about the late, great, and sorely missed Tobe Hooper, it's that he was ahead of the curve. If we are allotted another statement, then I propose that it be this: he had a weird fuckin' filmography. Several days ago, I took a gander at the very odd science fiction/horror hybrid known as Lifeforce, which was his first of three projects released by the now-defunct low budget kings Canon Films (sidenote: there's an excellent documentary about them titled Electric Boogaloo available for streaming on Netflix). After all of those features made their way to theaters, he co-wrote and directed this little ditty, which was reportedly shot in a little over a month and sported a much smaller budget than ones previously given to him by other studios. Unfortunately, it bombed rather hard, but after twenty-eight years, does it warrant a status as say, an overlooked cult favorite?


My first observation of Spontaneous Combustion came with spotting Brad Dourif in the starring role. I've actually been a bit surprised by how many films he's appeared in over the past two years of this marathon (Death Machine, Grim Prairie Tales, Cult of Chucky, Graveyard Shift), and when I picked up the DVD rip of this from VHSPS, I did a rather amateurish thing by just glancing at the cover and the brief description, all while ignoring the cast and crew involved. To the surprise of basically nobody, he is in full-on "overacting Brad" mode. Subtlety has never exactly been the man's best friend in the field of big screen performances, but that's kind of why we like him. He does manage to calm down a bit halfway through the picture when he gets a chance to meet Melinda Dillon (A Christmas Story, Close Encounters of the Third Kind), and things even start to get fairly emotional once he's settled down. Of course, you have to get past the really awkward accent that she seems unable to hold, but I digress. The character of Sam is easy to sympathize with, especially when you consider that in essence, he's a living, breathing nuclear weapon who has been lied to throughout most of his life and just can't understand what in the world is happening to his body.


Speaking of the body, Hooper manages to tap into something this time around that filmmakers such as David Cronenberg have often done: humanity's fear of decay. The idea that our bodies are rebelling against us, and we are unable to control these sudden actions that may or may not cause deterioration has always been utterly fascinating to me. True, there's a bit more cheese piled on top of this than in something like The Fly or even Akira, but it's handled fairly well here. These side effects do have a positive to them though, because we get to see Dourif run wild with the ability to control electrical fields and emit (somewhat cheap) pyrokinetic powers, which basically turn him into an X-Men character. Not since perhaps the last Grand Theft Auto video game have I seen this many poor bastards get set on fire (including John Landis in a brief, albeit fun cameo), with either Dourif unwillingly (or in the case of the third act, sometimes purposely) setting people ablaze. These horrific sequences come to a head during Spontaneous Combustion's final fifteen minutes, where Hooper must have felt obligated to inject steroids into his script. It is all very silly, and feels like a bit of an insult if you loved the sheer grittiness and mean factor that was found in his earlier flicks, but it's also immensely satisfying, and gives the creative team time to work on some nifty prosthetic effects and makeup.


From what I've gathered, there is a large contingent that seems to believe that Spontaneous Combustion is Tobe Hooper's last truly good or at least watchable motion picture. Though I have yet to lay my eyes on every body of work with his name attached to it (and would also argue for Body Bags to hold that aforementioned honor), I'd say that this is a fairly underrated work in the man's catalog. It does feel sluggish in parts, but more than makes up for any potential boredom with utter zaniness, absurd commentary on the notion of the "nuclear family," and the always wonderful Brad Dourif. I'd recommend it for people who have worn out their copies of movies like Firestarter and Scanners. Fun fact: when I was purchasing a DVD of this from the VHSPS people at Monster Mania (this makes the THIRD flick of theirs to appear on here, but not the last), I was completely unaware that it was available for streaming on Amazon Prime. Better yet, this early 90s relic is set to receive a limited Blu-Ray release on October 23rd from Sunset Films.



Maybe I need to learn how to save my money and just be patient....



…….nah. Besides, tomorrow we have to talk about some other trash I picked up from that convention!

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 14

With Halloween approaching, young people should be preparing for a night of dressing up, candy, and all-around spooky fun. Well, except for teenagers Sarah, who is struggling to write an essay that will get her into Columbia University, and Sonny, who is dead set on completing the best project for science class that he can muster. During their free afternoons, Sonny and his best friend Sam run a junk collecting business, and receive a call one day from someone wanting them to clean out an abandoned house. After some digging around, they stumble upon a strange artifact: a locked manuscript for what appears to be an unfinished book. The two find the necessary key, and after opening the book, a ventriloquist's dummy suddenly appears behind them. They read from a note in his coat pocket, which brings the object known as "Slappy" to life. It isn't long before this wooden trickster is using his hidden magic to make inanimate objects sentient; intent on creating a terrorizing evening for the entire town. 

Back at the end of 2015's Unseen Terror, I skipped out on typing a full review for that year's October release Goosebumps. Based on the series of books written by R.L. Stine, they ate up a good chunk of my childhood, and along with random late night cinematc viewings on stations like the Sci-Fi Channel and Cinemax, I'd credit them for helping to get me into "adult" horror. Though I was incredibly nervous going in, I found the picture to be a very pleasant experience. Despite some issues here and there, it's chocked full of nods to the original novels, and serves as a nice introduction to scarier stories for modern day parents and their children. If you were hesitant to let your kids watch it, I'd say that now is a perfectly good time for them to dive right in.

I can't, however, echo those same bits of enthusiasm for its 2018 sequel.

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween plays out more like the picture that I was afraid the first film would be. It suffers from a lack of almost anything interesting, and judging by the near-silence in the theater that I was in, won't likely please fans or non-fans. The main protagonists have no distinguishing personality traits, and considering how dull the script is, it's hard to blame any of these performers for not being able to do a better job. Cast-wise there are a few recognizable faces that pop up, including Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock alum Chris Parnell and Community's Ken Jeong. Their presence is appreciated, but their screen time is so limited that the comedic talent that we fully know they possess is completely squandered. Even Jack Black, whose surprise appearance was spoiled thanks to newer television spots and trailers, is in the film for a little under five minutes and serves no purpose. And yes, I'm aware that the heroes of the first movie weren't exactly the most well-developed either, but they were working with stronger material and the energy of Black and his colleagues rubbed off on them. This time around, the only big name that these teens hope to have chemistry with is a dummy doing a very poor impersonation of Mark Hamill's Joker.

On the technical side of things, Goosebumps 2 doesn't look completely terrible, but it gives off a very straight-to-video or "made for TV sequel" vibe. There is some very wonky camera work, and the editing leaves you wondering if the people who put together the final product just kind of mixed up what scenes they wanted to be cut. If you're looking for monsters though, those folks behind the scenes certainly wanted to deliver them in droves. Yes, the sight of a gigantic spider made entirely out of balloons is rather cool, as is a cute sequence involving rabid gummy bears, but my god, nothing feels that special when you just throw about twenty different creations into the span of two minutes. Fans of the source material may have fun trying to pick out what some of these beasts are a reference to (any kid who understands Black's joke about Stephen King's It may need better parenting), but it was more entertaining to do with its predecessor. All of that brings me to something which can likely make or break this sequel for the audience: Slappy. While he was definitely important to the plot of the first Goosebumps, he didn't make a full appearance until after a certain amount of time had passed. This time around, he's (re)introduced within the first ten minutes or so, and they feel the need to suffocate us with his presence. His one-liners, quips, and actions towards others seem less amusing this time around. So much so that even the multiple families who I saw this with laughed approximately twice during its running time, no matter what the joke was or who was delivering it. To quote the late, great Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert: You know that you're in trouble when you have to "drop trou" in order to get a laugh.

I've seen several films during this year's marathon that took me by surprise, but until now, none that had been a massive disappointment. Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween is riddled with too many clichés, too many dull characters, and just a lack of effort to make something truly special for your kids. If your child still hasn't seen the first motion picture, they are far better off sitting through that than this pile of rotting pumpkins. If they've already sat through that one, sit down with them and watch something nostalgic from prior decades, such as The Monster Squad, Gremlins, or even The Gate. Because despite my disinterest in having children of my own, I firmly believe that your offspring deserve better.

Tomorrow, it's time to put the youngins' to bed, because Tobe Hooper is exploding back onto the marathon!

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 13

Normally, I'd save sequels to something that I JUST watched for a little bit later in the marathon, but seeing how much I enjoyed the first Sleepaway Camp, I figured that I could do a bit of reshuffling to keep my spirits high. Plus, both pictures are relatively quick watches, so squeezing two into one day shouldn't be a difficult task. Fair warning though: if you are still not "in the know" in regards to the first entry in this franchise, then I apologize for any spoilers that will be posted during portions of these reviews.

Five years have passed since the massacre at Camp Arawak, and after years of electroshock therapy (plus a sex change operation), culprit Angela Baker has been seemingly "rehabilitated" and released. She's accepted the position as a head counselor at Camp Rolling Hills, where she frequently clashes with the more open-minded and free-spirited attendees. Naturally, as most psychotic slasher movie villains do, she doesn't take kindly to this, and the slaughtering begins anew.



There are quite a few notable differences between Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers and its predecessor. The first is the lack of a mystery about who or what is contributing to the body count. The second, and most important aspect of this flick, is that its tone is nowhere near as dark as it was five years prior. Far more tongue-in-cheek and gleefully campy (pun possibly intended), I can only assume that this tonal change was due to the rights being sold by writer/director Robert Hiltzik. That, and considering how popular characters such as Freddy Krueger were at the time, perhaps those in charge were hoping that they too could strike gold if the chance was there. These decisions result in Sleepaway Camp II feeling more like a horror-comedy rather than a serious, if not somewhat tragic tale.


All of that being said, this change in direction is quite similar to what we saw during the time between The Evil Dead & Evil Dead II. What it may sacrifice in emotion or dread, it makes up for with sheer pandemonium and gruesome fun. Having grown up a bit, Angela (now portrayed by Pamela "Stop asking me about my brother" Springsteen) is letting her freak flag fly. She is in full-on delusion mode, and her odd, if not archaic sense of morals results in her committing some truly heinous acts of murder. There's far more variety (and volume) in the kills than before, and could make even hardened vets like myself gag a bit. If you are a germaphobe and hate outhouses, then you will absolutely detest one particular death in this film. Heck, Angela even gets to pay homage to Leatherface during one nighttime sequence, and that's just fabulous.


Most sequels won't set the world ablaze, but Sleepaway Camp II is still a perfectly cromulent time. Watching a psychotic transgendered woman kill annoying, disobedient teenagers is absolutely not PC and pretty rotten, but that's one of the many reasons as to why the slasher genre has such a devoted fanbase. If you've got the time to spare, this self-aware, silly cinematic ditty is available to stream on Amazon Prime, and to nobody's surprise, Scream! Factory has also released a Blu-ray for the public to buy.

It's 1989, and Angela Baker is on the run for her series of crimes that were committed at Camp Rolling Hills. Posing as a younger camper named Maria, she sneaks aboard the bus to the newly christened "Camp New Horizons," which even after a name change, will forever be known as her old stomping grounds. Upon arrival, she discovers that two counselors are attempting an experiment by coercing youths from different backgrounds and social circles to mingle with one another. Naturally, the quirks and traits from some of these young ruffians don't sit too well with Angela, and if you can't guess what happens next, then you haven't been reading this blog long enough.



Released one year after the second film (and filmed back to back with it over the course of six weeks), Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland is a continuation of the style, substance, and tone that was found in that prior picture. Pamela Springsteen reprises her role as Angela, and while I admit that I do find her iteration of the character to be fairly funny, I did start to miss original actress Felissa Rose about halfway through this one. There have been reports that she tried out for Unhappy Campers, but was turned down due to not having the ability to deliver the comedic lines as well as they wanted. At the end of the day though, it doesn't detract from the quality of the movie. The rest of the cast is your typical gaggle of cliched stereotypes waiting to be offed, though I couldn't help but be weirded out to discover the presence of Academy Award nominee Michael J. Pollard (Bonnie and Clyde). Seeing him as a lecherous old man who loves to sleep with women a third his age is certainly something.


Much like film number two, SC3 is going more for slapstick than genuine chills or uneasy vibes, and it also packs in a lot of self-referential jokes and odes to pop culture. The head organizers of the event are named Herman and Lily, Angela has a dream sequence that is an obvious reference to a famous Oscar speech, and there's even a quick nod to Friday the 13th. I can also appreciate any flick that takes shots at the notion of casting people to play teenagers who are anything but close to that age range. Of course, that's fine and dandy, but what about the butchering you may ask? While the body count is lower than what was amassed in Unhappy Campers, Teenage Wasteland still sports some creative and wacky ways to dispose of people (the highlight being the usage of a flagpole). These flicks will likely never be in the same league as the more popular entries in the genre, but they can be happy knowing that they still make a mean punch in the death department.


As was the case with its forebear, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland is far from highbrow entertainment. You're likely to find more technically proficient motion pictures on this year's Unseen Terror, but if you're just looking for good, dumb, bloody fun, then you're in luck. Marathoning the three movies should make for a good use of a free day during the month, and with the right crowd surrounding you, Angela and her escapades will keep you entertained for at least a solid five hours. Yet again, this is available to stream on Amazon Prime, and can be purchased on Blu-Ray from Scream! Factory. Go get on that.




Tomorrow, I feel like I need to take a quick trip out of the 80s and tackle something a little more modern. Will I find something that gives me the willies, or will I be craving something a little undercooked?

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 12

Ricky Thomas and Angela Baker are getting ready to head out to "Camp Arawak" for the summer. Though the former has attended multiple times before, this will be the first occasion for his female cousin. Initially, Angela's quiet, extremely introverted behavior makes her the subject of bullying from bunkmates and female counselors alike, but she begins to open up more when Ricky's friend Paul takes an interest in her. After a brief incident with a camp chef nearly gets Angela molested, the cook is later attacked by an unknown assailant, and severely scalded by a large pot of boiling water. It isn't long before things start to go wrong for others with foul intentions, especially if there's been a prior connection with the young girl herself.



Making the conscious decision to finally watch and review 1983's slasher standout Sleepaway Camp was more difficult than I expected it to be. Mind you, it has nothing to do with the quality of the picture itself, or the fact that it's following yesterday's highlight of the marathon (so far). Rather, it is solely because I've known about the film's rather infamous and shocking twist for many, many years. You couldn't open up a magazine or watch some television countdown without them mentioning it, and due to such a thing, I felt like immediate viewings weren't fully necessary. But as I inch closer and closer to that bizarre area in one's life known as the mid-30s, the time came for me to just stop being lazy and watch the damn flick already.


Much to my surprise, the tone of Sleepaway Camp is dismally cruel. For an environment that does contain at least some moments of pure joy, there always seems to be some underlying hostility amongst these campers and their counselors, especially when it comes to their treatment of young Angela, who serves as somewhat of an avatar for the audience. It's perfect for molding people who already may be slightly deranged, but not completely unhinged into something truly malevolent. The purest of souls, and I do use that term loosely, could arguably be Angela herself, or perhaps her cousin Ricky (played wonderfully by Jonathan Tiersten) and his friend Paul (Christopher Collet of The Manhattan Project), who seems to be the only other person at the camp who wants to treat the nearly-mute girl with respect or affection. For what most collectively believe is not the strongest of slasher movie franchises, I was pleasantly surprised by how memorable and colorful (if not slightly typical) this cast of characters was. The bullies and antagonists are rather rotten, and the fact that young Karen Fields, who portrays the snobby and mean-hearted Judy, didn't go on to star in other projects is a damn shame.


Now, don't get me wrong, all of that hyping about the attitude and mood of Sleepaway Camp that I just wrote about it is something that I firmly stand behind. But categorizing it as top tier material would be grossly inaccurate, as the movie is still very cheesy and riddled with some of the same problems that befell nearly every release in this 80s-centric subgenre. Most of the lines uttered from writer/director Robert Hiltzik's script won't likely be making it onto the AFI's list of most influential movie quotes, and some of the delivery is downright cringeworthy (looking right at you Mike Kellin). Hell, there's a very good chance that you'll piece together most of its plot and subsequent revelations if you have a brain that is still functioning after the past two years have nearly destroyed everyone's remaining cells. Still, it doesn't detract from the fun factor, and the final product ensures you that as long as you are patient, these fools are going to get what's coming to them and through unusual methods (one scene involving a beehive got under my skin).


Sleepaway Camp won't exactly blow your mind by any means, and there are some themes that could be misconstrued as gross even by today's standards, but the movie absolutely deserves its cult status. What it lacks in most of the acting department or extravagant kills (Pieces it ain't), it makes up with memorable characters, joyfully campy dialogue, and yes, some excellent twists that those who go in completely blind will be rather shocked by. Even with the most important details permanently etched in my memory, I still found it to be quite the enjoyable experience. You can stream this relic on Amazon Prime, and if you can put off spending money on that latest Apple product, use some of the cash on the Blu-ray that Shout! Factory released a little while ago.




Tomorrow, we aren't leaving the decade of decadence just yet, but what ground should be covered? Only time will tell...

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 10

The space shuttle Churchill is investigating a mysterious ship found within the coma of Halley's Comet. Once inside, the crew discover not just hundreds of dead bat-like creatures, but three naked humanoid bodies, who seem to be in suspended animation. They gather the specimens and plan to head back to earth, but contact is lost during their return journey. As a rescue mission is launched, the Churchill returns to our planet, but while the ship is severely damaged, the three pods containing the bodies are in perfect condition. They are taken to a research center in London, and after an autopsy is attempted on the lone female of the trio, she awakens and completely drains the life from her would-be coroner. Escaping the facility, she sets out in search of goodness knows what, while those left in shock find that her victims may not necessarily stay dead after she has absorbed their essence.



Well, seeing as how I'm only one hour removed from turning thirty-three, I figured that if I was going to close out the final hours of being thirty-two, it should be with a bigger picture from the year that I was born. Plus, according to the wonderful cesspool known as the internet, the number one movie in the world during the day of my birth was Commando, which is the furthest thing from a horror movie and something that is disqualified from my marathon. Perhaps that will be saved for another day.


Prior to his passing, Tobe Hooper had been quite vocal about his love and passion that was put into Lifeforce, which at the time took quite a beating from critics and some fans. Too weird to be properly marketed, yet nowhere near as gratuitous as the slasher pictures that dominated the box office, it's considered to be a bit of an anomaly amongst fans of horror/science fiction hybrids. After finishing it up, I think that while it's very easy to understand why people have been very critical of the final product, it's also makes for one heck of a fun ride if you know what you're in store for. Doing some research for this review, I discovered that Lifeforce was one of three motion pictures that Tobe Hooper was attached to direct after signing a three picture deal with Cannon Films. Even more surprising was the revelation that Dan O'Bannon, who wrote the screenplay for Alien and The Return of the Living Dead, was one of two individuals who put pen to paper for this project and in charge of reworking/retooling the science fiction novel The Space Vampires (I'll never badmouth romance authors for their titles again) for the big screen. The results are a very kooky, often-times dumb, but altogether entertaining flick.


Most of what drives Lifeforce is the idea of style over substance, because when you chip away the very appealing images and set pieces, the story is padded out by a bit too much exposition. There are a lot of moments that could have the audience asking why they chose to explain things that previously occurred in great retail rather than, I don't know, show it, but those moments are occasionally followed up by something strange that takes you by complete surprise (ex: a man running into a prison cell and exploding into sand). While we're on the subject of that, the first half of Lifeforce sports some of the more fascinating visuals that I've seen during this year's Unseen Terror. It's quite apparent that this is where most of O'Bannon's best ideas were set in motion, because they feature events that I'm certain are most of what the fanbase gushes over. People turn into dried-up husks, light shines down from the heavens, giant bat creatures pop up, and actress Mathilda May does her best Rogue from X-Men impression to name a few. They recall pictures of yesteryear like the aforementioned Alien, but with enough of their own identity to avoid being accused of plagiarism.


Cast-wise everyone is perfectly fine, though Peter Firth (Spooks) does slip into overacting mode once in a blue moon. French actress Mathilda May manages to say so much without speaking for a large chunk of her role, and her body language and cold, yet oddly welcoming demeanor feels like what the filmmakers behind Terminator 3 wish they could have accomplished with their antagonist. It's somewhat like a precursor to what actresses such as Olwen Catherine Kelly were able to do in flicks like the excellent The Autopsy of Jane Doe. Steve Railsback is one of the lone American performers found in Lifeforce, but has easily the most compelling and important arc. His confusion, fear, and subtle interest with all of the events that surround him help elevate this movie more than most would expect him to. But oof, as long as we all live, nobody should ever ask the man to take part in any flicks that feature "hypnotizing" again. As the cherry on top, Sir Patrick Stewart (yes, the very same) has a bit part as the manager of a psychiatric hospital, and I always welcome the chance to see him let his guard down and have some fun in a "B" movie.


Lifeforce is far from a perfect flick and is certifiably insane, but it's very watchable. Sporting a very unique take on vampirism (name another "bloodsuckers in outer space" flick from the 80s please), some rad visuals, and a storyline that just gets progressively stranger as time goes by, it's the perfect film to put on in the background at your next Halloween party or whenever you just want another crazed SciFi/Horror flick for your own monthly marathon. As of this writing, it's available for free on both STARZ's On-Demand service and Amazon Prime. If you're feeling a bit more dangerous however, there's a rather cheap Blu-ray out from Scream! Factory, and it features two different cuts of the picture, as well as a plethora of extras.



Gotta wonder if it contains Mathilda May's phone number though......hey, I might as well TRY....




Tomorrow, it's my god damn birthday, and I'll review whatever the hell I want to. I think I'm feeling something Henenlotter...

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 7

In the old west, two travelers happen upon each other. One is on his way to meet with his wife for a romantic reunion, while the other is a bounty hunter carrying a body so that he may reap the $2,000 reward that has been put out. To pass the time, the men decide to try and one up another with eerie tales.



I apologize that today's review may be rather short. I'm still under the weather, and have two lengthy overnight shifts scheduled at my store, of which will likely leave me temporarily exhausted. Still, I refuse to fall behind this year, and given how quick of a watch this one is, I'm not letting any roadblocks stop me just yet.


Grim Prairie Tales can be summarized in one breath: Darth Vader and Chucky sit around a fire and regale one another with mediocre horror fables that make those found in Are You Afraid of the Dark? look frightening in comparison. It's actually a damn shame that this picture isn't about Brad Dourif and James Earl Jones, because their interactions and exchanges of dialogue are so friggin' great. I'm of the mindset that thinks it's utterly bizarre to see the former play a "straight" man in ANY picture, while the latter has been made up to look somewhat unrecognizable (though his booming voice is nigh impossible to disguise). They're making the best of lines that most performers could never deliver without sounding utterly ridiculous, and god bless both of them for it.


As fun as the narrative may be, the "tales" themselves are remarkably dull. Our first one, which boils down to Native Americans getting revenge on an evil white guy, feels like something that would be submitted for a short film festival and forgotten about the next day. Number two revolves around a random man assisting a seemingly pregnant woman, and sports the most peculiar (and "WTF"-worthy) twist of the pack. The third is probably the most interesting and mature, but that's only because it has no supernatural ties and is focused on someone being forced into participating in a lynch mob. Our final segment, where a gunslinger believes he is being haunted by someone he previously shot, has a ton of potential (and an actor who is dead ringer for Tim Roth), but feels very rushed and ends with a bit of a whimper.


In the world of horror anthologies, Grim Prairie Tales is among the weakest. Despite a small handful of fun moments and some great chemistry between Jones and Dourif, it just doesn't have enough pizazz to warrant an immediate viewing. Hopefully someone will just cut all of the scenes involving the two most well-known performers into one short film on YouTube, so that you can otherwise avoid this entirely. As it stands, there is no legal way to obtain this collection, and unless you feel like spending a good chunk of change on a VHS tape, you are likely going to have to visit a bootleg booth at your local convention like I did (shoutout yet again to the VHSPS guys).



Tomorrow, I feel as though we're owed a solid slasher flick. So, let's stay outside and set up camp, shall we?

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 5

Howard Hallenbeck and his family have traveled to Ireland so that he may research and photograph religious iconography. While he visits a church and meets the clergy, three farmers are out working in a field and attempt to remove a rather large stone column that's seemingly stuck in the ground.. Though two of the men call it quits and head home, the last of them is successful, and smoke erupts from below. Something sinister and otherworldly has awakened: the demigod known as "Rawhead Rex," and his thirst for blood is insatiable.



My familiarity with Clive Barker's "Books of Blood" collections isn't nearly as strong as my knowledge of the films that have his name attached to them. Obviously his most well-known of these adaptations is that one little ditty that he also got lucky enough to direct, but the rest of his works have received mixed reactions from fans and audiences alike. Prior to when moviegoers were exposed to the world of the Cenobites, one of his short stories was given the big screen treatment. Not long after its theatrical release, this effort known as Rawhead Rex was also disowned by the British author himself. But was he right to dismiss the final product?

Around the same time (a.k.a. almost immediately after the credits on this had rolled) that I decided to watch Rawhead Rex, I was lucky enough to listen to some audio recordings of the story itself on YouTube. Perhaps I should have put doing something like that aside, because it just makes watching this all the more disheartening. You can see why Barker was upset, because while the aura throughout the movie itself is unmistakably that of the man himself, there is just a lot working against it. First and foremost, Rex himself is just....okay, there is no point in being nice here. Rex looks BAD. Rather than resemble a towering, nine foot tall demon (google his name, and you'll be shocked about what he looks like on paper vs what he looks like on screen), he is far more similar to a professional wrestler wearing a bad latex costume. Reportedly, the effects crew had only been given less than a month's worth of time to create the design of Rex, and the rushed results show. Thankfully, actor Heinrich von Schellendorf does a fairly competent job at playing the titular villain, even if he does appear to be cheap-looking. The rest of the cast is fairly forgettable (save for Ronan Wilmot's character of a priest gone mad), but most of them are only present so that they can appear startled by the entire experience. David Dukes is fine as the main protagonist as well, but prior to something unexpected that happens around the time of the third act, he's not the most interesting of people to watch.


Though I always expect some gore to be found throughout most works of Clive Barker, there is still some surprisingly decent violent bits thrown into Rawhead Rex. One small taboo is broken later on, which definitely took me (and likely you) by surprise. It adds another layer of drama and heartache to a film that so desperately needed it. Making matters better, the third act just seems to say "screw it," and goes into full-on Bonkers Barker mode. People are getting thrown around Royal Rumble style, there's a big explosion outside of a church, and Rex does something quite unthinkable with a cleric that will stick with you regardless of your opinion of the picture as a whole. It almost makes up for the first two thirds being so inconsistent and mostly mediocre. Almost.


This bad boy really is a tossup for someone like me. It's absolutely messy and ultimately more goofy than I'm sure it ever intended of being, but even the tiniest of positive aspects about Rawhead Rex still make it fairly watchable. If you can get over the absolutely stupid-looking monster design and the fact that it does slip into dull territory once in a while, there's a reasonably fun "B" movie to be found. This black sheep of Cliver Barker-affiliated projects can be found on DVD and Blu-Ray from Kino Lorber, and from what I've heard, the 4K restoration from the original negative makes it look like an entirely different film.



Or you can wait for Clive Barker's proposed remake that he expressed interest in doing three years ago. I'd be shocked if that gets off the ground before a much needed Hellraiser remake or reboot.



Tomorrow, we're going to keep it classy and let the Criterion crew help us with the sixth day's entry!

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 2

A crew of mercenaries head out across the South China Sea in hopes of robbing a prominent cruise ship called the Argonautica, which is owned by millionaire Simon Canton. As soon as the barge is set for sail, it suddenly comes into contact with a large, unknown object in the water. Shortly afterwards, the crew of hijackers approach the Argonautica, preparing to sink the large vessel as soon as their job is done. Upon arrival, however, there seems to be no sign of the passengers and discover nothing but blood on board. Those who have survived band together with these intruders to combat something out of the ordinary that has surfaced from deep within the waters: hideous, tentacled worm-like monstrosities with an appetite for human flesh.



Prior to my first time viewing, I had very few memories of Deep Rising's mere existence. It seemed lost in the shuffle with other "natural horror" films from around the time such as Lake Placid and Anaconda. Those of you who know me are well aware of my love for most things related to this subgenre, be they from the states or from overseas. There's something so utterly fun about watching humanity constantly struggle with (un)earthly creatures that are hellbent on either eating us or smashing all of our cities beneath their feet. Unfortunately, I wish that Deep Rising could be held in the highest regards with other heavyweights in these categories, but there is just so much working against this film that I came out rather frustrated.


Unlike a lot of natural horror from throughout the decades, Deep Rising doesn't seem completely aware that it's a B movie. It fails to take full advantage of the very silly concept by making the audience think that everything uttered by our protagonists seemed important. Even the goofiest moments of flicks like Anaconda seemed self-aware that they weren't exactly making a motion picture of high quality and ultimately told those in attendance "okay, let's just go with it. Go grab a pint." Here, most of this movie is taking the material so seriously and notable director Stephen Sommers fails to recognize most of the horror aspects. Nothing really feels scary, and the hideous late 90s CGI prevents the audience from being able to enjoy what practical effects and props that there are.


Deep Rising's biggest weakness comes in the form of the "characters." I have to use quotes there, because most of the cast barely constitute as those. Treat Williams (Dead Heat, Hair), Famke Janssen (X-Men, Goldeneye), Cliff Curtis (Fear the Walking Dead), Not-Nick Nolte (Anthony Heald of Silence of the Lambs fame), and nearly everyone here that you can find on IMDB are undoubtedly talented performers, but with the combination of a weak script and very little time spent getting to know or sympathize with them, you just don't find anybody worth rooting or caring for. There's admittedly a good chunk of people who will say that such a thing isn't a big problem for a movie about something beneath the sea slaughtering people, but I will always look to Jaws as an argument for why strong characters matter in flicks like these. There is however one memorable character among the bunch, and he ends up being the very worst component of this film. Director Stephen Sommers has a tendency to cast Kevin J. O'Connor in most of his projects, including follow-up pictures such as The Mummy and Van Helsing. Similar to those efforts, O'Connor's "Joey" is beyond irritating, but unlike his roles in those two releases, they want the audience to root for him during its entire duration. He's like Private Hudson of Aliens fame, only without any moments of being able to delve into badassery, which just results in him being a whiney nuisance. Speaking of the James Cameron classic, the similarities between this property and that one are surprisingly more abundant than any newcomer will expect. I won't go into every little aspect since it would take up too much of this review, but let's just say that the only thing missing was a little girl to accompany the crew.


There is potential hidden within Deep Rising to be a truly fun cheesy action/horror hybrid. I did fail to mention some above average bloodshed and some fairly decent makeup work courtesy of Rob Bottin (The Thing, Robocop), but I just couldn't fully get on board with it. It feels like a precursor to all of those awful SyFy channel movies from the mid-2000s and beyond (its mediocrity may be the reason as to why this never received any sequels). Unless you're a completist of all things 90s, then I wouldn't strongly recommend this one. As of this moment, there is a packed Blu-ray available from Kino Lorber, and as of now, you can also view it on streaming services such as HBO Go.



Or you can just go watch 1977's Tentacles instead.


Wait, that one is worse.


Erm....maybe you should just watch a BBC documentary.



Tomorrow, the monster parade continues with an obscure release from Toho !