Unseen Terror 2018: Days 8 & 9

*sigh*
I didn't expect for this to happen within only the first week of this year's marathon. As (unfortunately) per usual, I'm a bit behind on not necessarily my viewings, but my reviews themselves. Thankfully, there's at least three movies spread across these past two days, so that is assuredly a plus, right?

Anyway, let's just do this damn thing. I need to try and adjust my sleeping schedule again to something that resembles a mammal's.

There's a special kind of "bad" attached to horror pictures from the latter half of the 1950s. While there was certainly an assortment of genuinely good projects being released (Creature from the Black Lagoon, Invasion of the Body Snatchers), the populace was also subjected to just a barrage of glorified "Drive-in" flicks. More often than not, these weren't the type of films that were going to blow your mind, but only served as something to sit back and watch with your loved one as you attempted to make that frightening "first move." Now, before you read any further ramblings or opinions on this little picture, I want you to take one good look at the poster for 1959's The Wasp Woman, which revolves around an older woman in the cosmetics field who takes a new, experimental youth potion derived from wasp jelly, but is surprised by what side effects occur. Grandiose and rather striking, isn't it? Well, that's about the most memorable aspect of the movie, because despite what is advertised on that piece of art, you aren't getting a gigantic insect with the head of a woman. Instead, the titular monster looks more akin to a cheap knockoff of the creature from The Fly, which was released one year prior to this. It isn't entirely surprising to find out that this was produced and directed by 'B' movie kingpin Roger Corman, as he's never exactly been shy about releasing motion pictures that recall (then) recent efforts. But unlike some distributors of the modern day era, he isn't going to lie to the audience, and at the very least, he'll try his damnedest to entertain you, and given how gleefully over-the-top everyone in The Wasp Woman is, he's certainly trying.

And then, there is The Giant Claw. Not only does this poster lie to the audience, but as I'll discuss below, it deceived the performers that were involved in the actual production! In the case of this infamous 1957 turkey, I was fully aware of its existence. I recalled seeing a trailer multiple times on my Fantastic Dinosaurs of the Movies VHS tape, and if luck is on my side, I'll be able to cross every movie featured on that relic from my childhood off of my bucket list by the end of 2019. After nearly twenty-five years, I can now finally say that I've finished this one in its entirety, but oh man, writing a review of this picture without busting out laughing was kind of difficult. Plot-wise, it's your standard "giant monster" flick, with a giant winged beast appearing seemingly out of nowhere to terrorize the world. What surprised me the most while watching The Giant Claw was how sincere lead actor Jeff Morrow is. He's treating this the same way that actors treated the original King Kong or Gojira. Heck, now that I think about it, the rest of the supporting cast isn't too shabby either. But then, I found out that there was a twist to this entire experience. They didn't know that they were supposed to be in awe of THIS:

Yep. It turns out that all of the actors and actresses involved with The Giant Claw were completely unaware of how goofy and dumb-looking the behemoth buzzard was going to look (legendary designer Ray Harryhausen was originally attached to create it, but they had to cut that due to budget restraints). Much to their horror, its design and just plain awfulness was revealed at the movie's premiere, where Morrow reportedly snuck out of the theater while the audience laughed their collective asses off. I can't say that I blame him either, because you just can't be scared by something that looks like a Looney Tunes character with mange.



It must be said that while neither of these two movies will ever come close to the films that they were clearly inspired by, their influence on others over the past several decades can be felt. Heck, if you look at the stories, last year's entertaining Rejuvenatrix shares a lot in common with The Wasp Woman, and The Giant Claw could be the grandfather of bad movie masterpieces like Birdemic. If you're going to purchase either of these schlocky experiences on home video (Corman's flick can be found streaming for free on Amazon Prime, and The Giant Claw is available in an assortment of DVD collections), then I strongly suggest you grab a large pizza, a case of beer, and some friends that can appreciate some good old fashioned cheese.



Do be careful with the alcohol though. If you take a shot for every time that The Giant Claw is described to be "as big as a battleship," you'll end up dead before the first act is over.






Well, now that Day 7 has concluded, let's get a little more serious for the eighth one.

Figuring that I needed to take a break from the "B" movies (and that I desperately craved something that could at least warrant a rating of two stars in an unironic sort of way), I decided to welcome Mr. Clive Barker back to this year's marathon. Prior to pressing play, my memories of 1995's Lord of Illusions were fairly nonexistent. The only distinguishing things that I can recall about the picture were some trailers, the fact that it was based on another short story from his "Books of Blood," a couple of nifty posters, and a finale that was supposedly rather insane (though it seems like that's a given in the case of most of the man's creations). Our plot revolves around private investigator Harry D'Amour, who comes into contact with members of a fanatical cult that seem to be fully intent on resurrecting someone dubbed "The Puritan." It turns out that Nix, the man in question, is the seemingly-deceased head of these followers, and had discovered how to utilize real magic. Before he could cause real harm to the world, he was murdered by his top pupil, and buried where no soul could ever find him. That is about as much information that I can give you about Lord of Illusions, as further discussion could find me diving headfirst into spoiler territory.


The very first thing I noticed in Lord of Illusions was the presence of Kevin J. O'Connor. Just when I thought that I had escaped his annoyingness after Deep Rising, he has returned to haunt me until I go mad and pull out every useful part on and inside of my head. Much to my surprise though, he is far more likeable this time around, and as an integral part of helping move the story along, he is written to be the opposite of a comedic relief. It also blew my mind to see another face from Deep Rising pop up in the form of Famke Janssen, and while I'm sure that was just coincidence, it still weirded me out quite a bit. Unfortunately, she's probably the weakest link in the acting department, but her character isn't the most developed of the bunch so it's hard to blame her. Scott Bakula of Quantum Leap fame plays our hero, who is apparently one of the only recurring characters in Barker's stories (he's even crossed over into the world of the cenobites). He is putting one hundred percent into this performance, and it makes me wish that we had continued to see further Barker-related adventures involving this guy. He shares some similarities with other fictional males like John Constantine, though he could probably never come close to how much shenanigans and weirdness that the Alan Moore creation has collected over the past several decades.


Considering the title of this particular motion picture, you would expect that the visual aesthetics of Lord of Illusions would stand out from the crowd. The good news is that the set pieces and color schemes certainly evoke a mood and world that is unmistakably Clive Barker. It isn't hard to tell the difference between a flick that he directs (Hellraiser, Nightbreed) and one that he merely writes or attaches his name to (Rawhead Rex, Book of Blood). The third act, which was indeed quite hectic, also sports some very creepy imagery and effects that could really get under one's skin. The bad news however is that the movie does sport some iffy green screen and computer-generated effects that while not completely abhorrent or severely dated, can occasionally take you out of the experience. Still, it's only a tiny bruise on an otherwise very good-looking project.


While it can't really stand up to previously-released motion pictures like Nightbreed, Hellraiser, or Hellbound: Hellraiser II, I still think that Lord of Illusions is worth a watch. It sports a fun narrative that never bores you, a cast of kooky and memorable characters (it could be hard for Super Troopers fans to look at Daniel von Bargen again without seeing bugs crawl out of his eye sockets), and some nifty violence that only the Brit himself could concoct. If you're interested in completing your Clive Cinematic Collection, Lord of Illusions can be purchased on Blu-ray from the always reliable Scream! Factory. However, if you're feeling cheap, it's also available to stream for Amazon Prime members for the low, low price of absolutely nothing.



As an added bonus, you can also check out the concept record from defunct heavy metal band Nevermore, who sampled the movie for their classic "Dreaming Neon Black" record. Brownie points for whoever can actually make out those samples as well.




Tomorrow, I'm one step closer to my birthday, and I'm feeling like I need something to close out thirty-two in proper fashion....

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 5

Howard Hallenbeck and his family have traveled to Ireland so that he may research and photograph religious iconography. While he visits a church and meets the clergy, three farmers are out working in a field and attempt to remove a rather large stone column that's seemingly stuck in the ground.. Though two of the men call it quits and head home, the last of them is successful, and smoke erupts from below. Something sinister and otherworldly has awakened: the demigod known as "Rawhead Rex," and his thirst for blood is insatiable.



My familiarity with Clive Barker's "Books of Blood" collections isn't nearly as strong as my knowledge of the films that have his name attached to them. Obviously his most well-known of these adaptations is that one little ditty that he also got lucky enough to direct, but the rest of his works have received mixed reactions from fans and audiences alike. Prior to when moviegoers were exposed to the world of the Cenobites, one of his short stories was given the big screen treatment. Not long after its theatrical release, this effort known as Rawhead Rex was also disowned by the British author himself. But was he right to dismiss the final product?

Around the same time (a.k.a. almost immediately after the credits on this had rolled) that I decided to watch Rawhead Rex, I was lucky enough to listen to some audio recordings of the story itself on YouTube. Perhaps I should have put doing something like that aside, because it just makes watching this all the more disheartening. You can see why Barker was upset, because while the aura throughout the movie itself is unmistakably that of the man himself, there is just a lot working against it. First and foremost, Rex himself is just....okay, there is no point in being nice here. Rex looks BAD. Rather than resemble a towering, nine foot tall demon (google his name, and you'll be shocked about what he looks like on paper vs what he looks like on screen), he is far more similar to a professional wrestler wearing a bad latex costume. Reportedly, the effects crew had only been given less than a month's worth of time to create the design of Rex, and the rushed results show. Thankfully, actor Heinrich von Schellendorf does a fairly competent job at playing the titular villain, even if he does appear to be cheap-looking. The rest of the cast is fairly forgettable (save for Ronan Wilmot's character of a priest gone mad), but most of them are only present so that they can appear startled by the entire experience. David Dukes is fine as the main protagonist as well, but prior to something unexpected that happens around the time of the third act, he's not the most interesting of people to watch.


Though I always expect some gore to be found throughout most works of Clive Barker, there is still some surprisingly decent violent bits thrown into Rawhead Rex. One small taboo is broken later on, which definitely took me (and likely you) by surprise. It adds another layer of drama and heartache to a film that so desperately needed it. Making matters better, the third act just seems to say "screw it," and goes into full-on Bonkers Barker mode. People are getting thrown around Royal Rumble style, there's a big explosion outside of a church, and Rex does something quite unthinkable with a cleric that will stick with you regardless of your opinion of the picture as a whole. It almost makes up for the first two thirds being so inconsistent and mostly mediocre. Almost.


This bad boy really is a tossup for someone like me. It's absolutely messy and ultimately more goofy than I'm sure it ever intended of being, but even the tiniest of positive aspects about Rawhead Rex still make it fairly watchable. If you can get over the absolutely stupid-looking monster design and the fact that it does slip into dull territory once in a while, there's a reasonably fun "B" movie to be found. This black sheep of Cliver Barker-affiliated projects can be found on DVD and Blu-Ray from Kino Lorber, and from what I've heard, the 4K restoration from the original negative makes it look like an entirely different film.



Or you can wait for Clive Barker's proposed remake that he expressed interest in doing three years ago. I'd be shocked if that gets off the ground before a much needed Hellraiser remake or reboot.



Tomorrow, we're going to keep it classy and let the Criterion crew help us with the sixth day's entry!

Unseen Terror 2015: Day 6

At the request of his girlfriend Lori, Aaron Boone begins visiting a shrink by the name of Dr. Phillip Decker. The troubled man has confessed to dreaming of an area called Midian, where monsters roam freely and, instead of being shunned, are accepted. Through manipulation and heavy drug use, the doctor convinces Aaron that he has actually committed multiple homicides that has plagued the news lately, leading to him running and searching for his dream utopia so that he may escape from this reality. When he happens upon a graveyard seemingly in the middle of nowhere, he discovers that Midian is in fact a new world beneath the burial grounds, though the residents are not too fond of normal humans trespassing and making their way below.


Clive Barker's cult classic Nightbreed may have been my most anticipated pick of the season. Initially released in the early months of 1990, the film was considered to be a commercial and critical flop, with some folks curious as to how and why this came from the same mind that created the more beloved first two installments in the Hellraiser franchise (a.k.a. the only two worth watching more than once). Over the years, many have attributed this failure to a number of problems, including heavy editing (there are THREE different cuts of this movie out there, with two being more easily accessible to the general public) and a marketing campaign that presented it as just another "slasher" picture. For any single person who wasn't sitting around playing with their cat's turds, we were aware that its proper classification is more akin to a darker fantasy epic with strong horror overtones, not a "blood and guts galore" knockoff of less sophisticated titles. I mean, if Stephen King can write a lengthy piece of macabre literature like It, who says he that isn't allowed to also pen something such as Stand By Me?


Mind you, I'm not going to say that Nightbreed met my expectations or exceeded them. In fact, for as many things that I could praise Barker's second directorial effort for doing right, it does just an average job on something else in return. Yes, Craig Sheffer (One Tree Hill....maybe the only time you'll see that show's name appear on here) and Anne Bobby are rather enjoyable as our two leads and lovebirds, but they seem to feel like the only rounded characters in the entire plot. Noted director David Cronenberg actually decides to get up from sitting down in the chair and decides to participate in more than just a cameo, turning in a rather odd, if not slightly obvious performance as Boone's psychotherapist who may or may not be living a bloody double life himself. The "breed" themselves seem to be having a rollocking good time, and while they are somewhat one-dimensional as the "sympathetic, misunderstood beasts," I often found myself sad whenever they weren't on screen. Hell, maybe that's what it was like to have an imaginary friend when you were a child. I wouldn't know though; mine grew up and moved out after I told them I liked Predator more than The Terminator and Bret Hart more than Shawn Michaels............what?


I was not surprised in the slightest to find that Doug Bradley (Hellraiser) has a small role in Nightbreed, as I'm almost certain that he and Mr. Barker are good friends and would want one another to achieve as much success as possible. One name that I did NOT expect to see was composer Danny Elfman (Batman, Beetlejuice), who turns in a pretty darn great score that is just ripe with personality, accentuating and enhancing the more fun and daring parts of the movie, while inserting hints of the more calming and gothic tone that could only be fitting for a Clive Barker work. Truth be told, the more technical and practical aspects of Nightbreed are what I think warrant the most attention from cinephiles. There are at least fifteen, yes FIFTEEN people who worked in the makeup department here, and though I'm far too tired to list them all, they all deserve praise for creating some absolutely wonderful monsters and set pieces (one particular lead's first exploration of the underground world of Midian is a glorified showcase for creations of all sorts). At an early point on in the film, Boone is given heavy psychedelics by Decker, and there are many moments during which you can't tell if he ever truly came down from his "trip," especially when you see women that have quills sprouting from their bodies or people who can turn into smoke. It is wildly inventive, making you wonder if toy companies such as NECA would ever decide to do a line based on this property.



Nightbreed is definitely far from perfect, but it's a very compelling experience that still ends up very watchable in the end, driven by an intriguing story and great imagery that only someone as bizarre as Clive Barker himself could imagine. I'm often guilty of repeating things during Unseen Terror entries (then again, I believe most people who write about motion pictures are), but I really would like to watch this again sometime in the near future, with my preference going to its mysterious "Cabal" cut that is apparently only available to the general public through very select festival screenings. If you are so inclined, the "Director's Cut" of Nightbreed is available to watch on Netflix Instant Streaming. Speaking of said cut, you can also order it from Shout! Factory on Blu-Ray and DVD HERE and HERE.



And hell, it beats sitting through Lord Of Illusions again.




Tomorrow, we go forward to 1991, and we take a look at an obscure gem directed by....one of the guys from Porky's?! Yeah, okay, why not.....