Unseen Terror 2018: Day 24

It is with the utmost apologies that I must retract a statement made on yesterday's post. After sitting through Prom Night III, I had concluded that the franchise was going into the same direction that Sleepaway Camp did (initial film is serious, sequels become progressively sillier). Thanks to Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil, I'm not quite sure of what the hell this series wants to do anymore. After heading into the realm of horror-comedy, the fourth film in the Prom Night universe decides to go back to basics. There's no supernatural elements, over-the-top humor, or Mary Lou. Just a demented killer (in this case, a priest that has suffered a psychotic breakdown from years of sexual abuse and must punish sinners) stalking adult actors that are playing promiscuous, older teenagers. It also chooses to emphasize the "slow burn" ala the first movie, rather than go for a relentless bloodbath. So, with these decisions in mind, does it amount to a decent little flick?

Boy, I'm legitimately shocked by how much I disliked this follow-up. Prom Night IV sacrifices any of the potential excitement that was present in the second and third entries, and those choices amount to something that you wouldn't even bat an eye towards if it came on at 3:00 A.M. while you were drunkenly channel surfing. While the first Prom Night wasn't exactly a barn burner, it at least had the addition of Jamie Lee Curtis to prevent boredom from kicking in, and it rewarded your patience with some nice kills along with a fairly memorable finale. The same can't be said for this flick though. Here, the list of performers does boast some surprising finds, including Fringe showrunner J.H. Wyman, Nicole de Boer from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Cube, and future Degrassi and Donkey Kong Country (remember that show?) star Joy Tanner. None of them are particularly bad, but the material that they're working with is another level below substandard and with how ridiculously sluggish the pace often is (much like its ancestor, it takes close to an hour before any real slaughtering begins), it makes the movie a real chore to get through. There's a scene involving Tanner playfully trying to "seduce" de Boer's character that while obviously is a cheap ploy to arouse the males in the audience, ends up coming across as slightly homophobic when you look at it now. Perhaps the only decent part of Prom Night IV's story comes from the not-quite-subtle criticism of the Catholic Church in the form of the evil Father Jonas, but even he's a fairly bland slasher villain when compared to pretty much everyone else out there, and ESPECIALLY when you remember that he's supposed to be our replacement for the charismatic and fun Mary Lou Maloney. Besides, it's likely that you'll never be able to top Lester Lowe from Silver Bullet, so don't even try son.


I'm always upset whenever I see a promising franchise either end on a whimper (Critters) or just outstay its welcome by churning out crappy sequel after crappy sequel (Hellraiser). Much like someone I know who does read this blog (sup Maddux!), I feel like the best thing that one can do with Prom Night IV is what they did with the aforementioned Sleepaway Camp: recommend the first three pictures, actively tell them to avoid the fourth, and reiterate that they should REALLY not bother with it should they offer you a halfhearted chuckle in return. However, if you are committed to finishing this damn franchise like I am (not counting the remake), then sure, go ahead and drop close to thirty dollars on the DVD that comes packed with its far superior predecessor. Or go stream it on Amazon Prime. Or just lock yourself in your room and google search for more photos of Courtney Taylor from Prom Night III.

Tomorrow, I think I'm done with slashers, and I feel like it's time to restore some dignity back to Unseen Terror. Much like before, maybe Criterion can provide me with some quality entertainment?

Unseen Terror 2018: Day 23

For last year's Unseen Terror, I kicked it off with 1980's rather infamous and influential slasher Prom Night. Several weeks afterwards, I dove right into what was to be the first in a line of sequels. Much to my surprise, I found Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II to be rather enjoyable, if not a bit standard. Heck, if I'm allowed my first "Bold Horror Statement" for the 2018 iteration of this blog-o-thon, it would be that I prefer that picture to the original. Initially, I was just going to let sleeping corpses lie, but when I discovered that Prom Night III: The Last Kiss was available for free on the addicting dumpster fire known as YouTube (and that the quality wasn't complete garbage), I had to dive right in.


Unbeknownst to me, the third entry is a continuation of the story found in Hello Mary Lou, as it concerns the titular, undead prom queen, this time portrayed by new actress Courtney Taylor, returning to the world of the living yet again. Unlike before, when she escapes hell, she arrives on Earth with no particular motive other than wanting to kill people and occasionally get in the pants of a high schooler named Alex (played by Party of Five part-timer Tim Conlon). He is the very definition of the "Average Joe," as he doesn't excel at any subject in particular, dreams of working in a field that he is likely not qualified for, and is having difficulties with his girlfriend (Cynthia Preston). When Mary Lou comes into his life, she magically causes everything to become wonderful, but insists that he has to clean up any "damage" that she causes on the side. Sooner than later, the faculty body count starts to rise just as high as Alex's grades do.


In stark contrast to the first flick, Prom Night III closely resembles a parody of the slasher genre that was so huge at the time, and features a HEAVY emphasis on the comedic aspect of the "horror-comedy" tag. Sure, the second film had its funny moments here and there, but it was played relatively straight for most of its running time. I wasn't shocked to find out that just like its predecessor, the writers had no intention of this ever being connected to the Prom Night universe, but it appears as though that was changed to potentially make it more sellable to moviegoers. In some regards it works, but tonally this thing can't quite seem to make up its mind. The few moments of gruesome deaths that are to be found are certainly gory, but nothing this time around feels particularly scary, and the humor that's provided for the actors to deliver isn't good either. Comprised of the easiest and cheapest of jokes (i.e. fat people eat a lot, women who work out have to be manly, etc.), it feels like something that would better fit a bad early-90s Fox Network sitcom.


On the plus side, the two leads are exceptionally entertaining. Alex may not go down in the books as one of the slasher genre's all-time great heroes, but he's easy to sympathize with and Conlon gives him a sort of naïve, yet endearing attitude. As mentioned above, we also have a new Mary Lou, and while I mean no disrespect towards the previous actresses who played her in Prom Night II, Courtney Taylor might be the perfect choice for the character. The decision to transform this villain into essentially a sultry, slightly crazed female version of Freddy Krueger (complete with puns) does come across as pandering to the mainstream audiences, but she's having so much fun with the role that it's hard to truly get mad. She's also striking to look at (note: she's a dead ringer for Twin Peaks' Sherilyn Fenn!), so I'm certain that such an attribute could be beneficial for the more superficial folks watching these type of pictures.


Prom Night III: The Last Kiss is a bit on the messy side, but it's a surprisingly watchable sequel. What it might lack in uniqueness, it tries to make up for with some fun kills and entertaining performances from the aforementioned cast. It helps to keep it from ever being boring, which I'd argue is worse than being a straight-up awful or forgettable flick. If I'm allowed to make one more comparison, this franchise's spiral into unabashed silliness is very similar to what happened with Sleepaway Camp: start with a fairly serious film, then get progressively wackier with each follow-up. If you don't mind paying a pretty penny, you can grab this one alongside the next entry (which may or may not be coming soon) on DVD.




Tomorrow, I'll hopefully be well-rested, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't fall behind in my reviewing habits!

Unseen Terror 2017: Day 29

It's 1957, and cocky, promiscuous Mary Lou Mahoney is setting out to have a blast at her high school prom. Unfortunately, a series of freakish events result in the woman burning to death that very evening at the event. Thirty years later, the young Vicki Carpenter is searching for a dress to wear to her own prom and comes across a trunk that contains all of the departed Mary Lou's accessories and belongings. After opening the container, she unknowingly unleashes the vengeful spirit of the would-be queen of the dance, who returns to seek revenge for her untimely demise, and if possible, find a new permanent host for her essence.



As you may recall, this year's Unseen Terror marathon kicked off with my first time viewing of 1980's proto-slasher Prom Night. I found that even with some fairly obvious flaws, the flick was lively in all the right areas, and ultimately worth a recommendation. As with many franchises that have made appearances on this blog over the span of seven years (Hellraiser comes to mind), the temptation to check out all three follow-ups and its unwanted remake was high, but not vital. Alas, I did hear some good feedback from people on social media about how Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II was actually worth a watch. Thanks to various websites/services still refusing to cooperate with me, original choices Inseminoid and Breeders were thrown back into the pile once more. Room must be made for a motion picture that features a spectacled Michael Ironside accidentally murdering someone with a stink bomb.


From the get-go, the tone of Hello Mary Lou feels drastically different than its predecessor. Supernatural and psychological horror elements permeate throughout its crisp running time, which wasn't present in director Paul Lynch's slow burn. It may not come as a surprise to hear that independent film company Samuel Goldwyn got a hold of something that was not related to Prom Night whatsoever and suggested that it be tweaked and marketed as a continuation of the motion picture that came out seven years earlier. New film head Bruce Pittman doesn't seem to believe in patiently building to a big bang of a climax (though its own third act is quite wonderful), but rather to score home runs as soon as possible. This can be a disappointment when you factor in how calm the first Prom Night was during its first hour, and it felt as though the new studio heads wanted this sequel to follow traditional "modern" slasher guidelines. Still, there are a great number of franchise entries that share only the most basic of similarities with the movies that preceded them (Aliens comes to mind). And sometimes you just want to watch a body count pile up over time.


Speaking of that, the first victim, who resembles a more "80s"-fied version of Angela Kinkade in the first Night of the Demons, is the recipient of a death that hints of extravagance, but teases the audience with something that unfortunately doesn't occur. Perhaps watching that 4K restoration of Suspiria yesterday was a bad idea since it spoiled me on the visual aspect of lives being ended. Regardless, the kills in Hello Mary Lou have more impact considering that its cast of characters are far more likeable this time around. During the first Prom Night, nearly every single soul was a different shade of unsympathetic asshole, and it just made you a bit impatient since all you wanted was to see them die as horrible a death as possible. Lead actress Wendy Lyon (Anne of Green Gables) adds a very innocent, personable quality to Vicki, and you're just fascinated by her constant visions. She's a very underrated performer in the "scream queen" field, and has the aura of a young Daryl Hannah. Without going too much into spoiler territory, Lyon's protagonist does a complete 180 towards the end of Hello Mary Lou's second act, becoming completely unhinged and reveling in devilish behavior.


If you can ignore the fact that Hello Mary Lou's full title features the words "Prom Night" on the marquee and home video releases, you actually have an engaging, if not somewhat standard slasher picture at your disposal. The pacing is good enough that you never feel bored, the acting is fairly solid, and the whole shebang is just plain fun. I'd even go so far as to say that I personally enjoyed it more than the Jamie Lee Curtis-led vehicle that was released around the end of the disco era (side note: why didn't you do an updated version of the Prom Night theme?!). As of this writing, the first sequel is available for streaming over on Amazon Prime, and if you're feeling ambitious enough, it can be purchased for either paltry or absurd amounts of cash. I have to offer some advice on the former DVD though: it contains the infamously bad Full Moon Entertainment release known as Killjoy.



.....wait a minute, have I even seen that particular one? Ugh, might have to do some rearranging.....again.




Tomorrow, we're closer to the end, and hopefully we are NOT concluding with Killjoy.

Unseen Terror 2017: Day 1

Well, that gif of Mr. Burress can mean only one thing: I'm exhausted from attending my first horror convention this weekend. That, and I have officially finalized my listing for the seventh (oy) year of my "Unseen Terror" series that I manage to craft during every October. If you are unfamiliar with the concept, the short version of my explanation is this: I dig up at least thirty-one different motion pictures that deal with the more macabre side of life to watch during this month that I have never managed to see until now. Some are cherished pieces of art that should be seen by all (Rosemary's Baby, The Return of the Living Dead, I Saw the Devil), some are hidden gems that deserve to be given a second chance after an initial, unfair thrashing by critics (House II, Black Roses, Popcorn, Suck), and others should be buried deep underground after being set on fire (Clownhouse, Pinocchio's Revenge, any Hellraiser sequel post-Bloodline).

So, with that basic introduction out of the way, let us begin! As always, I welcome discussion and comments on here, any major social media network (using the hashtag #UnseenTerror will find me), or the new Letterboxd service that I have signed up for and am thoroughly enjoying thus far (search for me as "Woodshatter1985").

While playing a routine game of hide and seek in an abandoned, dilapidated building, four children harass and tease a younger girl named Robin Hammond for wanting to join in. Unfortunately, the youths back Robin into a smaller area and inadvertently cause her to fall out of a window, where she immediately dies upon impact. Instead of reporting this incident to the local authorities, the accidental murderers vow to keep this to themselves and to never tell a soul. Six years pass, and Robin's surviving siblings just so happen to be attending the same high school as their sister's killers. As the entire collective of students highly anticipate the upcoming prom, specific ones begin to receive threatening, ominous phone calls from someone who may be seeking vengeance over one particular incident from their past.

1980's proto-slasher Prom Night has been on my radar since I began doing this yearly tradition back in 2011. For reasons that I can only attribute to laziness and forgetfulness, it just never quite made the final cut or listing. Obviously that has now changed, but did this unintentional delaying make my viewing experience any better or worse? Well, I suppose that you can say that it borrowed an equal amount from column A and column B.

For starters, the movie is absolutely drenched in all things that were affiliated with the late 1970s and early 1980s. There's the prototypes for every character seen throughout these type of pictures (the bad boy, the preppy girl, the awkward nerd, the red herring), the unabashed affinity for Disco music (more on that later), and appearances from fan favorites such as Halloween's Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen of The Naked Gun and Airplane! fame. In fact, the latter's performances manage to lift Prom Night off of the ground as they seem genuinely invested in the project and clearly came to the set every day with the best of intentions. The rest of the supporting cast is fine too, although because of the way that the script is structured, you may find yourself struggling to sympathize with the rest of these kids since, regardless of their ages, they're inarguably dicks for nearly all three acts. Oh, and they are also MURDERERS. Still, you earn a can of coke for trying to make us identify with the lot of them.

Since we are still on topic, we as moviegoers and purveyors are very likely anticipating seeing these other players meet their grisly demise. Unfortunately, this is where I felt that Prom Night stumbles, though not majorly. While the third act and finale of this picture is quite invigorating (and features one hell of a great decapitation), it takes nearly one full hour for the first drop of blood to spill, which means that technically, you can classify this motion picture as a "slow burn." Normally, I have no qualms about such decisions being made by the writers and directors, but considering that this effort barely scrapes by the ninety-minute mark, it may easily frustrate the more insatiable, impatient gorehounds that populate this strange, but endearing community that I am often happy to be a part of. Disappointingly, Prom Night does feel like it has a rather abrupt, it not blunt ending too, but a part of me ponders about whether budgetary reasons or time restraints had something to do with that.

Still, even with those complaints, I had a rather enjoyable time with Prom Night. Those with a more open mind and appreciation for attempts at telling stories, even ones as overused as this one, will also likely get a kick out of this quick watch. Considering that it was made for a very meager $1.5 million, it is competently shot and manages to accentuate the positives while hiding the negatives. Hell, its influence can even be seen on assorted films from throughout the decades (I Know What You Did Last Summer borrows heavily from this bad boy). If you're planning a slasher marathon in the near future with your friends or colleagues, this is a pleasant one to throw into the mix. At the time of this writing, you can view director Paul Lynch's hidden horror gem for free on Amazon Prime and YouTube, although it appears as though the folks there tracked down a Betamax rip rather than an actual DVD-quality print. Instead, it may just be easier for you to track it down on home video, as I'm certain that it makes for an inexpensive purchase no matter what format is available to you.

Oh yeah, I was going to mention the disco music, wasn't I? Well, there just so happens to be a gloriously cheesy moment where Jamie Lee Curtis and her date have to piece something together that feels like it belongs in another, entirely different genre flick. And we are subjected to this insanely catchy jam.

So, stick that in your pumpkin and....uh....play it?

*sigh*  I'm far too tired to be making puns or lousy jokes this early on. Let's just move on.

Tomorrow, we say hello to the men who gave us a myriad of releases such as The Fly, The Brood, and Maximum Overdrive. What little flick could they have ties to? Well, perhaps if one could see the future, we'd all know what I'm referring to.

Unseen Terror 2015: Day 13

Several years have passed since the slaughter at a boarding school that left many students dead, with the perpetrators purported to be demonic creatures possessing the bodies of the living. Regardless, policemen are now asked to be on watch at the spooky abode, in case anything truly horrible does indeed exist inside of the property. During one Halloween night, a large group of teenagers on the way to a party decide to stop at a gas station, but after an incident involving an attempt to illegally purchase alcohol goes south rather fast, the gang finds themselves forced to find shelter from the law. Thinking that nobody would dare to search for them at the infamous Hull House, they pull in for the evening, but all it takes is one small mistake to reawaken noted devilish being Angela, and the band of people will discover that the cops are the least of their problems tonight.



Quite a few days ago, I somehow gave a passing grade to 1994's Night Of The Demons 2. It was far from what you could call a good movie, though perhaps its primary antagonist and occasional cooky moment (its opening comes to mind) kept me from being completely disappointed. Ultimately, I didn't regret spending my time watching it, but I felt like it just lacked a certain amount of charm that the 1988 flick had. So, after hearing that original Night madmen Kevin S. Tenney and his brother Dennis were returning to the fold as writer and composer, I thought that there was perhaps a glimmer of hope left for a decent sequel.


Then I remembered that both men's previous work came from yesterday's godawful Pinocchio's Revenge. And I sighed. Then cringed. Then sighed again. This could be either a redemption story or another trip down the fecal waterslide.


One sin that Night Of The Demons 3 commits right out of the gate is the liberal reuse of multiple shots and scenes from the original film, a trait and fact that I failed to mention in my review for the previous installment. Yes, I'm aware that my own problem with this is hypocritical considering that I own (and enjoy) movies like Godzilla On Monster Island, and there have even been entire pictures released that were composed of nearly nothing BUT stock footage (1961's Valley Of The Dragons is a prime example). Still, this is no excuse for a movie series that started out with such promise and is brazenly taking from its own nearly ten-year-old predecessor. And speaking of its forefather, the question of how Angela (played once again by future pet psychic Amelia Kinkade) is even alive after violently perishing in movies one and two is never answered. For that matter, as small as the town is that claims Hull House as its own, you would think that perhaps more people, be they officers, civilians, or even paranormal agents, would be wise to Angela's wrongdoings and the establishment's supposed connection to the gates of hell. Eh, maybe I'm looking into this a little too much.


If there can be any semblance of praise that I can give this particular motion picture, it's that it was nice to hear a remix/more bombast version of the theme heard from the first film. There's also one Ms. Kinkade, who despite working with some incredibly dull actors and actresses around her (Christian Tesser of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? and Kris Holden-Ried of The Tudors should probably try and erase this from their resumes), seems to be in good spirits throughout its ninety minute running time. Unfortunately, this time around she isn't given much in the way of interesting things to do (save for one oddly arousing, yet funny scene that I'm way too happy to post below this review), and even her choice for an "erotic" dance sequence in here is disappointing. Seriously, how does one go from Bauhaus and Morbid Angel to what sounds like a bad outtake from the 1990s-era of U2? Makeup-wise, most of the scenes of Angela and her minions in their demonic forms just look flat-out cheap, which might also explain why they chose to rehash so much of O.G. Night's spots. There's also the wonderful use of CGI, which outside of some of the works from James Cameron and the like, was still in that dreaded feeling out phase. If you thought that some of the computer effects in television programs like Reboot and movies like Mortal Kombat: Annihilation looked bad, well....they're still worse than this, but not by much.


For reasons unknown to me, Night Of The Demons was retitled and released as Demon House over in the United Kingdom. I can't track down a logical explanation from Kevin Tenney as to why this choice was made, but I would assume it was because they thought that there was more potential for extra money to be made by fooling a small chunk of its audience. Or perhaps the previous entries never saw great distribution overseas, flopping and killing any hopes for them to catch a glimpse of this (supposedly) final chapter? In the end, it doesn't matter a great deal since the finished product is such an underwhelming effort in a series that probably should have never been one to begin with. Tracking down a copy of this on VHS or DVD is akin to one's attempt to find cryptozoological creatures. It will cost you more than one person with employment should ever spend on something niche, and will likely leave you disappointed with the end results. Then again, at least there is scientific proof of this film's existence.



Oh yeah, I promised to post that one sequence, didn't I? Well, there's no real gentlemanly way to set up this gem. Enjoy, but keep it down if you're at work.

God I love you Amelia Kinkade, even if you're kind of nuts.




Tomorrow, we may or may not be taking a quick detour from cinema. But fret not! 1998's entry may actually be a nice, and potentially coincidental, trip down memory lane...

Unseen Terror 2015: Day 10

Six years have passed since the horrific massacre at Hull House that left multiple partying teenagers dead, and save for initial organizer Angela Franklin, authorities have recovered all of the bodies. Still, the rumor persists that Angela inhabits the abode, her soul having descended to hell and returned as a demonic entity. On the other end of town, the youngest of the Franklin children, Melissa, is staying at a Catholic boarding school, having been orphaned following her parents' suicide after her sister's disappearance. Despite having multiple nightmares about her sibling, Melissa is coerced by her more vibrant, and occasionally mean schoolmates into sneaking out and attending a Halloween party at the abandoned residence. Before long, the servant of satan resurfaces, expressing her intentions to leave and rejoin the land of the living, no matter what.



Two years ago, I was lucky enough to watch the beloved 1988 horror-comedy classic Night Of The Demons. In fact, should you have some extra free time, you can read my thoughts here. Without spoiling too much, I can safely say that it still stands as one of my favorite discoveries from doing this yearly tradition, and my gorgeous t-shirt from horror apparel fanatics Fright-Rags should be proof of that. Truth be told, had I gone back on my plan to watch the entire Leprechaun franchise (which indeed seems to be a reality), both sequels were on board as alternate picks for 1994 and 1997. Well, seeing as how I can only stand Warwick Davis spouting morbid limericks for so long, the final decision to take a look at the hideous demon Angela's return from hades was made.


And oh Angela, Angela, Angela. I could go on for days about much I love Amelia Kinkade as an actress, though it would most likely bore every single person who isn't well-versed in the field of scary movies. You can tell that she just relishes playing the antagonist of this series, combining camp, seductiveness, and idiosyncrasy better than most people would give her credit for. Heck, she even makes it a habit to dance to an obscure song choice for no reason other than to captivate you and get you spreading the gospel of Night Of The Demons (for #1, it was Bauhaus. For #2, it's Morbid Angel). It is a bit depressing to hear that she's distanced herself from these pictures over the years (mostly due to thinking that there's too much negativity in the world as it is), but at least she didn't go too crazy and become a pet psychic or something.

.......I have to learn to keep my mouth shut.


Anyways, despite being the face of this franchise, Kinkade isn't the main focus of any installment. Unfortunately, I believe that this is what sinks this particular sequel, leaving you wondering as to who was who (save for a younger Christine Taylor of Dodgeball and Zoolander fame), even when the body count starts to rise. Yes, most of the female cast sheds articles of clothing at a shockingly high rate, and Jennifer Rhodes portrays possibly the coolest nun in the history of horror cinema, but the rest of the cast is just so unbelievably bland (and look far older than any teenager you'll ever see), it makes the occasionally one-dimensional cast of the original flick look fleshed out in comparison. When they finally get a time to shine, attempting to show some personality, sixty minutes have passed, and they require the assistance of tools such as water balloons filled with holy water (something reused for From Dusk Till Dawn) in order to get over with the audience. Don't get me wrong, it leads to some funny moments and fun kills, but it felt a little cheap.


I could have predicted this even before writing anything down, but once I left the 1980s portion of Unseen Terror's "Dirty Thirty" iteration, the thought entered my mind that my choice in horror films this year was going to eventually hit a large, noticeable snag. Thankfully, Night Of The Demons 2 just barely scrapes by as a good enough time for when you have some spare time to kill. Had it not been for the niece of Rue McClanahan-turned-crazy animal lady and the final third of the motion picture, I don't know if I would have been so kind to this sequel. Still, if you have some extra cash lying around, it is available to rent on Amazon Prime for about $2.99, and can be purchased online from select retailers for assorted prices, though the Blu-Ray may be harder to obtain these days that it should be.


Tomorrow, good ol' Clint Howard makes a return to Unseen Terror, and it may be his most infamous appearance to date...

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 28

Young Marylee is mauled by a neighbor's dog, only to be saved by her large, gentle, and simple-minded friend Bubba. While she is taken to the hospital, a local courier named Otis rounds up a group of men, assuming that Bubba has harmed this little girl and potentially killed her. During their manhunt, the handicapped innocent runs to his mother's, and she disguises him as a scarecrow in her cornfield in order to evade punishment for something that he did not commit. Tragically, it fails to work, as Otis and his cohorts shoot him repeatedly. Shortly thereafter, Bubba's name is cleared, but the murderers get off in court, claiming self-defense. It isn't long, however, when the scarecrow that Bubba had been killed in starts to reappear around town.


Much like my experience with the original version of The Town That Dreaded Sundown, I was completely incorrect about my previous assumptions when it came to this 1981 made-for-TV horror flick. If one were to take a glance at the cover of its home video releases (since there is no theatrical poster that I know of), you would think that the film would be a supernatural-based slasher with a scarecrow at the center of all of the bloodshed. Much to my (pleasant) surprise, I was only partially correct. Dark Night Of The Scarecrow does indeed have elements of the aforementioned description, but it is a lot more well-rounded and doesn't need to rely on the cliches or mass carnage that befell most horror movies released in the 1980s.


Okay, so most of those cliches wouldn't have made the cut anyway, since this had its premiere on CBS Television. To my knowledge, there were plans to make this into an independent feature film, but for various reasons, it seems as if its low budget and semi-old school feel was deemed appropriate enough for home viewers instead. There was also the plan to cast veteran actor Strother Martin (last seen on this countdown in Sssssss) as main antagonist Otis Hazelrig, but he passed away before the production was getting ready to start. This proves to be anything but a problem since fellow experienced actor Charles Durning (The Sting, Dog Day Afternoon) turns in a delightfully sketchy and slimy performance as the postal worker who helps murder a childlike grownup. Oh goodness did I get chuckle when he tells young Marylee that "you can trust the mailman." No matter which decade in which something like this is uttered, you can't help but laugh. Truth be told, save for a few random moments from some of the supporting cast, nobody is really doing a bad job acting-wise. They don't treat Dark Night Of The Scarecrow as a standard throwaway picture, but rather as a creepy, if not simplistic tale of revenge.


Speaking of the very basic, but effective elements discussed above, writer J.D. Feigelson creates a script that utilizes minimalism and the tactic of confusion when it comes to the kills (save for Bubba's death). There are very few shots of the monstrosity that stalks these men, and sometimes, we don't even see its own shadow when it does its dirty deeds. I'll bite and say that as entertaining as its performers are, specifically Durning and Lane Smith (The Mighty Ducks), they aren't the most complex or original creations you'll see. Maybe it was just me, but Scarecrow also does seem to boast an unintentional anti-southerner vibe, at least judging by the absolute cruelty and apathy of some of the townsfolk when it comes to the manhunt for Bubba and its slightly-infuriating aftermath. But again, that might have been something that I assumed I had seen, and nobody else did.


I have to wonder what could have been had Dark Night Of The Scarecrow been given a theatrical release or bigger budget. Don't get me wrong, there isn't a single thing that I would change about the final product, but perhaps a longer, slightly bloodier remake couldn't hurt? Either way, if you want to take a look at how to do an exceptional job in the horror field with little-to-no money at your disposal, and see where other underrated gems like Pumpkinhead got its inspiration from, then look no further. And if none of that convinces you, then be aware that a brief part of the picture takes place on Halloween night, upping the entertainment factor!



But oy, it sure is difficult to watch anything with grown men playing mentally challenged individuals after THIS was released six years ago.



Tomorrow, it's back to the past, with a sequel to a surprisingly good entry from last year, House 2!

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 19

Backpacking through the Irish countryside, two young couples begin to mingle with the local townsfolk. Much to their surprise, they are given the offer to take up residence in a nice cabin near the edge of the terrain's woods. Naturally, they agree to do so. To their horror, however, they come upon a dark, terrible secret: the cabin, along with the surrounding environment, serve as a killing field for a creature of Irish folklore. That monster is a leprechaun, and the four youths discover that the residents of Ireland have been luring innocents to the territory, so that it may satiate this monstrosity's lust in an attempt to make up for past mistakes.


Forgive me for typing a relatively short review, but it's late, and my mind and vision have been rotted from sitting through two particularly bad films within the past two days. No, Only Lovers Left Alive was not one of those aforementioned pictures. That was a good picture. That distinct dishonor and shameful title goes to this hunk of crap.


When I first heard that there was going to be another entry in the Leprechaun franchise, I shuttered a little bit. Then, I heard that it was going to be a reboot, sans star antagonist Warwick Davis. That shutter turned into a groan. After THAT revelation, I discovered that it was being produced by the oh-so-reliable WWE Studios and it would star Dylan "Hornswoggle" Postl, one of my bottom ten least favorite performers currently employed in the world of professional wrestling, as the titular horror villain. Groan turned into face palming, and well, you get the idea.


It only takes you four minutes to realize that something is horribly, horribly wrong with Leprechaun: Origins. For starters, the entire flick is devoid of any and all humor that was found in the original. Yes, I agree that the previous entries' brand of jokes and gags were quite embarrassing at times, but at the very least, you tend to remember scenes such as the man who played Willow killing someone with a pogo stick or when rapper/actor Ice-T smokes marijuana with an evil rascal out to kill him. Origins is played like a straight forward horror film, down to the devilish imp looking like a bloodthirsty creature with an occasional affinity for gold, screeching and growling along the way….wait, what? Unfortunately, if you're expecting to see Hornswoggle attempt to imitate or mime sequences that we've already become accustomed with (but why would you?), then you're in for a rather large disappointment. Instead, we see occasional glimpses of the wrestler dressed in a costume that looks like if one of the blind, underground beings from The Descent had a mutated child with an orc from The Lord Of The Rings. Add to that the fact that nearly every characteristic about this new beast is a knockoff of something we've seen before. He has "alternative" vision similar to that of the alien bounty hunter from Predator (even going so far as to rip out a young man's spine) and stalks his prey in the long grass like the velociraptors from The Lost World: Jurassic Park. To an extent, it even gives off a strong Pumpkinhead vibe, but it is nowhere near as menacing or memorable as that unappreciated creation of the sorely missed Stan Winston.

You had one job Leprechaun: Origins. You had one, simple job that even an inexperienced person like myself could do. Not only did you fail at completing it, but you accomplished said failure in ways that even a pessimist like myself didn't think was possible. Hell, you even managed to screw up THIS hilariously bad line from your 1993 forefather. I could have spent my cherished money on something more productive, such as food from Taco Bell's dollar menu. True, it will lead to my inevitable diabetes diagnosis, but at least it will taste better going down.



I don't even want me gold returned, I want me god damn time back you cunt of a movie.



Tomorrow, we'll attempt to salvage something good from this year's marathon again with the long-delayed All The Boys Love Mandy Lane!

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 13

Anthropologist Bill Nugent awakens in a hospital bed, injured and mutilated via seemingly unknown means. An investigator and his own doctors question the professor as to the whereabouts of five of his most prestigious students, all of whom have been missing for days. Nugent begins to discuss how and why things have seemingly gone awry, and it all begins with female student Carla asking to accompany the instructor and his pupils on an expedition to Carlson's Landing, where she hopes that they will find the culprit behind her own father's murder: the folklore legend known only as "Bigfoot."


Boy, I sure know how to pick 'em sometimes. 1980's rather poor-looking Sasquatch massacre known as Night of the Demon (no relation whatsoever to the pluralized film released eight years later) is a really outlandish and all-around strange excess in violence and absurdity. It's received a few odd releases here and there, and can be most commonly found in one of those assorted horror movie collections on DVD stands everywhere. You all know which ones I'm talking about, since the titles usually resemble something like *insert random number* plus *insert random adjective* plus horror/terror. Surprisingly, it can also be found on streaming sites such as Amazon Prime, which is where I viewed it.


Like a few select films that I've discussed before, director James Wasson's splatter flick was classified as a "video nasty" upon its release, and subsequently banned until 1994. I guess the British Board of Film Classification are incredibly touchy people, and most likely fearful of how powerful of an influence motion pictures can have on the youth of England. Mind you, this idea is archaic and just plain idiotic, but I digress. That being said, it is far more believable that Night of the Demon was banned in the U.K. rather than something so poor such as Don't Go In The Woods. The gore and bloodshed is fairly detestable and outrageous, shocking you no matter when and where you shall decide to watch it. Without giving every possible type of kill away, there are scenes of emasculation, intestines being removed, and impalement. Of course, a majority of the film looks like it was made for about the cost of a three course meal, and Bigfoot himself resembles the protagonist from the Toho-produced Frankenstein Conquers the World, so if you're looking for Tom Savini or Rob Bottin-levels of artistry, then you may be slightly disappointed.


Accompanying this grotesqueness are some "fresh off of the street" actors and actresses. I don't recall many of them being given names outside of a female plot device introduced later on, and even then it doesn't matter a great deal since we all know what is coming after sitting through the first two minutes of the movie. Aside from these young meatbags, there is also the most bizarre and out-of-place soundtrack that I think I've ever heard in any horror film. Actually, scratch that. I'll state that it is the most out-of-place soundtrack that I've heard in ANY film. There's a heavy emphasis on wannabe psychedelic tunes (also felt in the way that it was shot) and TV theme songs that were likely thrown away and discovered by composer Dennis McCarthy, who would go on to score Star Trek: Generations and the movie iteration of McHale's Navy. I know of the old "you have to start somewhere" spiel, but I'm not 100% sure that those can accurately be called upgrades.


This is the furthest thing from a good, or even well-made picture. In fact, had it not been for the shocking moments of brutality and the random shots of nudity every now and then, it could have been featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 back in the day. If you even decided to remake the picture in today's day and age, I wouldn't object, since it would most likely be given an actual budget and the backing of a bigger studio. However, because of the latter observations, I can still warrant giving it a slight, albeit very cautious recommendation to fans of trashy, low-budget terror.



And no, it didn't convince me that Bigfoot is real. But it did convince me that he can somehow conceive children with human women.



Tomorrow, I forsake the title of my next screening and view The Town That Dreaded Sundown in the daylight!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 13

On Halloween night, an assortment of teenagers are invited to a party at the abandoned mortuary known as Hull House by high school outcast Angela Franklin and her friend Suzanne. Things are going rather well, until the power dies, and in order to kill time, the group decide to hold a seance. They unknowingly unleash a demonic entity from the house's crematorium, which possesses Suzanne, and eventually Angela herself. Naturally, things start to slowly go wrong, and the group finds themselves slowly being picked off one by one on the night where evil is allowed to run amok with no rules.


I can always rely on the 80s to bring me out of the funk that a barrage of bad killer creature features put me in. Well, okay, Grizzly wasn't really that bad of a picture compared to what was to come, but those fishies in the coming days sure did stink to high hell. Anyhow, for something that was mostly thrashed upon release back in 1988, Kevin S. Tenney's Night of the Demons has amassed a nice cult following (and two sequels he has nothing to do with) throughout the years, and I'm happy to finally have gotten around to seeing it. This has been on my "to watch" list for the past two years, but for various reasons never quite made it on (it doesn't help that Amazon.com has the DVD sale price listing at above fifty dollars).


The opening credits automatically gives me hope with a great synthesizer theme, an animated sequence, and the words "Linnea Quigley" being flashed at me. Night's cast of characters are pretty much your typical cast of horror cliches, but they are fairly easy to identify. There's the greaser, the fat guy who looks like one of the Nasty Boys from the WWF, the Asian girl, the black guy, Linnea Quigley (easy to identify since she does love to get naked), and future pet psychic Amelia Kinkade as Angela Franklin, the demonically-possessed villain of the film, among others. Outside of being Rue McClanahan's (The Golden Girls) niece, I think it's a shame that Kinkade doesn't seem to have much else on her resume acting-wise beside these pictures. She's got a certain kooky charm that we can never have too much of this field, and her now-infamous scene of dancing to "Bauhaus-Stigmata Martyr" is so odd, yet kind of enchanting, it really makes you wonder why she indeed didn't get (or at least take) any more offers beyond these projects. This might be one of the reasons as to why I'm so hesitant to watch the remake that came about in 2009, as I just don't think I can buy Shannon Elizabeth in a role like this. As for the aforementioned Quigley, she gets just as much time as Kinkade does, and I'd argue that the film is just as much about her as it is about Angela, but subsequent sequels don't seem to believe so. As time goes by, their "conditions" seem to worsen, and they play it up rather casually, which works well in a case such as this, since possession is usually much more subtle, but in several scenes involving Quigley and her lipstick, you'll end up raising your eyebrows a bit here and there.


Now, I don't want to make this sound like a perfect film by any means, because it certainly is anything but. While the slow build towards any first sign of blood is acceptable to me (I clocked it at fifty minutes), some gorehounds might get a little frustrated and cry foul. The plot is also not the most original either, sharing a lot of similarities to Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead, but this was the 1980s, so it may seem customary for this be a common occurrence. Night of the Demons' final third also stretches itself out for quite a long time, which isn't necessarily bad, but you get the sense that writer Joe Augustyn just probably ran out of gas after a certain point and didn't want the film to be under ninety minutes, so he decided it would be best for the survivors to decide to explore and run around instead of doing anything more remotely interesting, like say, fighting. Angela's puns aren't exactly subtle either, making Freddy Krueger's look smooth. Still, as you can see from the poster above, he wasn't even invited to this party, so to that, I will quote the man from this film simply named "Stooge:"

Hey, I just needed an excuse to talk about how awesome that line was.


I believe Night of the Demons could work very well on a double bill with something like Return of the Living Dead (and not just because both films star Linnea Quigley). Both pictures have a very "rock and roll" vibe to them, as they've both been injected with songs from the punk and metal subgenres (and in the case of this film, assorted band stickers ranging from Exodus to TSOL can be seen in various scenes), don't take themselves too seriously, and are here to subtly remind you to have some fun once in a while. Plus, this picture ties in with the holiday of Halloween itself, which was a nice element that I legitimately didn't expect, but was a very pleasant surprise that only enhanced the good time. A solid recommendation.



Tomorrow, the women are still out for blood with AMERICAN MARY!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 4

A reporter for the tabloid newspaper "Inside View," Richard Dees has been a bit down on his luck lately, and is in desperate need of a new hit story to save his floundering career. When his boss informs him of a new report making the rounds, however, of a figure that travels by personalized aircraft that commits gruesome murders wherein the victims are mutilated and drained of their blood, Richard sees a good opportunity to get to the front page once more, and prove to the skeptics that this "night flier" isn't anything more than just a lunatic, and certainly not a "vampire" like some have been led to believe.


They say that you can't get blood from a stone, and I suppose that the same can be said when it comes to adapting short stories of Stephen King's. There's only so much that one individual can do, and I'll admit to not having read the short story this was based on in quite a few years (nor have I read anything from Nightmares & Dreamscapes in some time), but my memory was still fairly vivid when it came to this particular tale. The idea of a vampire that travels via a skymaster? That one seems to be pretty obviously pulled from the mind of a horror author, and most likely one on a lot of illegal drugs.


Original story writer Stephen King and director Mark Pavia weren't exactly subtle when it came to expressing their disdain and flat-out hatred for the press with this story. Richard Dees is probably one of the more loathsome "protagonists" I'm likely to encounter any time this year on the countdown, as he is cynical, sexist, obsessed with the macabre to the point where you might ask for him to politely just quit it, and seemingly begging for a death wish. His rivalry with new reporter Katherine Blair, a subplot invented just for the film, doesn't help make him any more human either. That particular subplot doesn't seem to go anywhere either to be perfectly honest, and really seemed to only set up a potential tagline for future use in "who said it?" quoting games with your friends. Thankfully, performance-wise, they're both fine for what they've been given, save for their boss who feels he's channeling his best evil Vince McMahon at times.


While the film does delve into the absurd throughout its time spent investigating the murders, it does sneak in some connections to other Stephen King novels and works as well. The character of Dees previously appeared in The Dead Zone, and headlines seen at "Inside View" make reference to Children of the Corn, Thinner, Needful Things, and many more. A nice distraction and nod, though it doesn't necessarily do anything to enhance the story obviously. There's also a character that Dees interviews while on a trip to Maine (take a shot!) who could have been the cousin of Jud Crandall of Pet Sematary fame for all I know. Perhaps this was a bad stereotype on my part, but darn it, I'm sticking with it.


Despite being one of, if not the lowest-grossing Stephen King adaptations to date, and containing a fairly lukewarm first hour, I think The Night Flier does turn on the gas in its final thirty minutes. With a showdown at Wilmington International Airport (in story and on set), it suddenly turns into a surprisingly satisfying little picture. When the title creature does reveal itself (don't complain about spoilers. Did you SEE the poster above?), it does look pretty darn cool, especially considering the rushed shooting time (one month) and budget. But is it too little, too late? Well, I....guess? If you don't mind sitting through all of the below-average cliches like alcoholism, trips to Maine, and an old man explaining things via flashbacks (see Pet Sematary fella), stick around for the adequate conclusion.



Alas, we bid farewell to Mr. King for now, but tomorrow we take a trip to the BLOOD DINER!

Unseen Terror 2012: Day 23

I'm actually going to do today's reviews a little differently. Instead of typing a separate review for each film, I've decided to do a comparison piece, since they're essentially the same, shitty, waste of time.

The plot for Blood Surf revolves around a group of people who travel to the Island of Never Specified for a new sport known as "Blood Surfing." This sport revolves around surfers throwing chum in the water to attract sharks, and surf around them accordingly while people film it for television. Our group stops by another island while doing this nonsense, and soon find that they're being pursued by a large Salt Water Crocodile. On the other side of things, Shark Night's plot revolves around a cast of students who decide to vacation at a Louisiana lake, where one of them used to frequent when she was younger. Almost immediately, they're subject to a variety of different shark attacks.

If you think the plots for those sound stupid, you'd be wrong. They're AMAZINGLY stupid. For one thing, Shark Night's plot shouldn't even make sense when you consider that most sharks survive in SALT water, not fresh. True, they offer a very brief explanation as to how these ones can and how they got there to begin with, but it still reeks of laziness. At least they explain from the get go in Blood Surf that the animal is indeed a "Salty," so nobody can nitpick them to death.

I was tempted to say that Shark Night had the advantage with its casting choices. Nobody in either film is good mind you, but at least you can recognize Sara Paxton (The Innkeepers), Katherine McPhee (American Idol), Joel David Moore (Dodgeball), and Donal Logue (Grounded For Life). Blood Surf's acting reminded me of something from an early WCW skit. Like White Castle of Fear-level stuff. The characters are cardboard cutouts or painfully cliched (this could apply to either movie to be honest), and the Australian lead actress was the equivalent to X-Men's Mimc when it came to accents. But after thinking about it for approximately ten seconds, I chose to say that it's a draw, and for one reason only: Blood Surf has nudity. Seeing as how it didn't receive a theatrical release, they most likely figured they could get their starlets to do whatever they wanted. Meanwhile, Shark Night is rated PG-13, so of course, we'll get a brief shot of sideboobs and nothing else. Those might be the holy grail for a twelve year old who hasn't discovered that the object downstairs is more fun to use than you realize, but it will annoy everyone else.

On the monsters and gore front, Shark Night can be described as no guts and no glory, since the blood and kills here are flat out lame. Every kill essentially amounts to pools of blood in the water while herky jerky camerawork frustrates you and robs you of anything potentially "cool." Blood Surf's kills are rather disappointing too, save for one scene with a human shish kabob. Shark Night loves its CGI, and naturally, it looks terrible. Would it have been too much to get the folks who worked on Deep Blue Sea to show you how to do a computer-generated shark properly? As for Blood Surf,  even though it was filmed during the "transition" period in movies (a.k.a. when CGI overtook practical effects and animatronics), the CGI looks ATROCIOUS, but we do see some shots of an actual animatronic crocodile! It also looks pretty silly, and I'm convinced they could only afford to make a head, but it was appreciated. Advantage, crocs.

However, both films are guilty of ripping off one vastly superior product: Jaws. I know we can't deny its impact on the horror genre, but for the love of god, they aren't even subtle about it. Blood Surf steals the Quint character, while Shark Night steals the opening sequence and several other key moments from that classic. Utterly shameful. I know Shark Night was also released in 3D, but even that cheap gimmick wouldn't have been able to mask its flaws.

This is like choosing which end of a double headed dildo covered in broken glass you want forcefully shoved up your anus. Neither is pleasant, neither is fun, and ultimately, you'll feel hurt having gone through either one. My advise is to just stay away if you know what's good for you.


Tomorrow, we're (hopefully) back to the good bunch with the much discussed DEADGIRL.