Unseen Terror 2012: Day 1

Alrighty! Time to do this bad boy yet again! 31+ films in 31 days, all of which I've never had the chance to watch in their entirety (or watch whatsoever). Today, we'll start with a movie widely regarded as one of the best in British cinema, regardless of the genre.

A married couple, John and Laura, lose their daughter in a horrible accident. Several years later, they reside in Venice, with the husband working on a contracting job for a local church. The wife, however, has a chance encounter with two elderly sisters, one of whom is psychic. While she brings news to Laura that their daughter is "happy" in the afterlife, she also gives out a warning of something horrible to come.


I suppose it might be unfair to call this a pure "horror" film, given that it has more in common with a thriller, but its influence in the world of horror is undeniable. I've always felt that both fields were more tightly knit than people may want to admit. Don't Look Now is famous for two things: the twist ending and the potentially unsimulated sex scene between the film's two main stars. And of course, I'll discuss both, though not in great detail. I don't want to give too much away about this rather well done piece of work.

Despite being released in 1973, there is some absolutely fantastic camera work and editing that still holds up today. Plenty of great "dissolving" shots pepper the film, and I don't think it would have worked as well had it not been shot and set in Italy. This works especially well in the second half of the picture, and it starts to make the viewer feel paranoid and uneasy, along with the two leads. Speaking of our leads, they are just fantastic here. Donald Sutherland has always managed to do well working with horror films (minus a few missteps here and there), but honestly, Julie Christie completely outperforms him throughout most of the two hour runtime. Her grief and sorrow feels genuine, and you can't really take your eyes off of her (it certainly doesn't help that she was absolutely beautiful here. Actually, scratch that, she's STILL beautiful). The film feels very somber, and indeed, grief and sadness are the real keys to what drives this film, as is the urge to let go of those feelings.

Alas, I suppose I have to get to the two main things I discussed in my first paragraph that WASN'T the synopsis. While I admit that I'm the furthest thing from being knowledgable about "erotic" cinema or "erotic" sequences in cinema, I'm willing to bet that the lovemaking between the two leads was probably faked. Then again, I'm a skeptic about most things. BUT, all of that being said, you could convince damn near anyone that it wasn't. And as far as the ending goes, I was spoiled in advance (THANKS Bravo), but it didn't make it any less impacting. It may fall into the category of one of those conclusions you'll have to think about for a moment, but it makes perfect sense for a film of this nature.


Well so far, we're off to a good start. Don't Look Now certainly isn't going to be for everyone (especially those who don't like quieter films and prefer their horror films to be that much more "brutal"), but I rather enjoyed it. Unfortunately, this one might be a bit hard to come across due to Netflix recently removing it from their Instant Queue. Save up a few dollars and find a cheap copy on DVD, then let me know what you think.


Tomorrow, we'll take a gander at what helped birth heavy metal (no really!) with BLACK SABBATH.

The Loved Ones Review

Teenager Brent Mitchell is approaching the one time all high schoolers dream of besides graduation: the high school prom. He and his girlfriend Holly are anticipating for it to be wonderful, as is his best friend Jamie. Nothing ever goes right in your teenage years though. After Brent turns down an offer to the prom from his classmate Lola, she and her father exact revenge on the boy, kidnapping him and preparing him for a truly memorable night...


I can give this film credit for one thing; it made me feel less embarrassed that I skipped my prom in 2003 and opted to go to a concert instead. That and it is further evidence that everything (and everyone) in Australia is looking to inflict harm upon you. This is a fairly twisted, but also surprisingly funny horror film that I think most fans of the genre will enjoy.

There is a very distinguishing tone that this film sets after Brent is kidnapped, and you can't help but feel incredibly nervous for him. Xavier Samuel plays the character well, and there isn't a moment that goes by where you don't like him. He felt like someone I could have been friends with during my days in high school (and not just because he's a metalhead), as did most of the cast of characters. Honestly, everyone does a pretty solid job here and nobody is phoning it in. Thankfully the film doesn't just consist of pure torture throughout the surprisingly short running time, as there is also a side story with Jamie's equally strange prom night. The Jamie story sharply contrasts that of Brent's, and while it is a tad bit cliched, I think it was needed. If the film had been nothing BUT torture, I think it would have lost steam and gotten stale.

The real star here is Robin McLeavy, who is positively twisted and immediately memorable as Lola "Princess" Stone, the antagonist of the film. She brings a combination of dementia and blissful ignorance to this character with a tiny bit of "realism" that ends up elevating it to another level. If Asami from Audition had a better relationship with her father, you'd get her. To say that she doesn't take rejection well would be an understatement. I hope she gets more work in the future, particularly in the horror field.

It took three years for this to hit the states. Admittedly, I had never heard of this film until approximately four or five months ago, but I can assure you that the film is worth the wait, no matter how long or how short you may have been waiting for an official release. Some might complain about a revelation that is made halfway through the film, citing it as predictable or flat out unresolved, but given that The Loved Ones tries for a more realistic feel, it isn't hard to answer the question yourself.

With the 31 Days of Horror Marathon coming soon, this serves as a nice precursor to it. Skimming through online websites, I discovered that this ISN'T on Blu-Ray, nor does it contain anything pertaining to extras. That complaint lies more with the distributors rather than the filmmakers, as this is my favorite horror film that I've seen since I Saw The Devil. When Cabin In The Woods is released next week, however, I may have to retract that statement.

The Amazing Spider-Man Review

Peter Parker is your average high school teen. Socially awkward, living with his aunt and uncle, vying for a girl he may or may not be able to get, swinging around New York as a masked crime fighter....alright, so one of those things separates him from most other teenagers. As Peter starts to discover more about his newfound powers, he also starts uncovering clues about the disappearance of his parents, and the ties his father had to man named Curt Connors...


Scary newsflash: it has only been ten years since Sam Raimi's Spider-Man hit cinemas. After the second sequel to Raimi's monstrously successful film was met with much fan backlash, and Raimi himself decided he was done with ol' web-head, Sony Pictures made the decision to go with a reboot of the franchise, rather than risk another sequel (and after reading up on their plans for Spider-Man 4, thank merciful christ that they did). So was it even necessary? Well...

Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone make an infinitely better Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy than Tobey Maguire and Bryce Dallas Howard ever did, though in the case of the latter, she was barely in the much maligned Spider-Man 3 as it was. They have good chemistry, but I have to say Peter's hairstyle and passion for skateboarding made it painfully obvious that they were trying to appeal to the younger generation of today (i.e. the Twilight crowd). I've never understood the need for such a thing considering Spidey's popularity has never particularly waned, even before the Raimi trilogy came out. Garfield's discovery of his powers is rather fun however, even if it does get dragged out some. The supporting cast is fairly competent, and the actors portraying Flash Thompson and Curt Connors (Chris Zylka and Rhys Ifans) were both quite good. Somewhat ironic considering Zylka stunk so badly in Piranha 3DD, but that's another story.

Speaking of Ifans, despite my praise of his Curt Connors, I thought the Lizard himself was incredibly mediocre. It looked more akin to a Killer Croc cosplay rather than a man who had mutated into a giant reptilian/human hybrid. And honestly, was the addition of the character having arguments with himself really needed? We already had that with Norman Osborn, there was no need to revisit it. The fight sequences are pretty spectacular (whoops, guess that's a pun. Bleh), with the school fight and bridge scenes almost making up for the underwhelming last minutes of the movie itself.

One last complaint (and this'll be my last) was the absolutely non-existant relationship between Aunt May and Peter. The relationship between Ben Parker and Peter is handled well here, though with a less impacting death than it deserved. Afterwards, you never even get the sense that Peter cares for her, and there barely feels like any connection between the two. Anyone who has ever read a Spider-Man comic, or even glimpsed at one, knows how much the man cares for her and how he'd bend over backwards to keep her happy and safe. Perhaps they'll rectify this is a sequel, but who really knows. After all, according to the generation of now, older people be whack yo!

Overall, this is still a very fun film. It still feels too soon to reboot this franchise, but I'm interested to see where they take this new Spider-man. I've heard that plans will include two sequels, with actor J.K. Simmons expressing interest in returning as J. Jonah Jameson. Personally, I'd love to see him back, and I'd like to see some of the darker storylines in the comics explored and adapted to the big screen.

Then again, sometimes when we ask for that, we get Daredevil.

*shudder*

Brave Review

Young Scottish Princess Merida has reached her teen years, and as is customary in her kingdom, she must pick a suitor in order to preserve peace between the lands. A visibly and vocally unhappy Merida would rather choose her own fate and future though, as opposed to following what her family (specifically her mother) wants her to do. These choices may bring about turmoil and trouble to her family and kingdom, however, and soon the princess must undo a dangerous curse that could change everything for the worse.



I'd like to start off this review with the usual praise reserved for any and all Pixar films (outside of the Cars franchise), but I'd be lying to myself if that were the case. Brave is Pixar's thirteenth full length feature film, and perhaps thirteen really IS an unlucky number. Don't be mistaken, this isn't a terrible film by any means, but it has it's fair share of flaws. Let's start off with the positives.

For starters, the film is wonderfully gorgeous to look at at. I almost feel dirty praising visuals in anything nowadays, seeing as how it isn't a valid excuse for a film being lackluster anymore (case in point, The Last Airbender looks pretty, but is a hollow piece of excrement inside). Pixar's animators and the like continue to get better, and scenes that explore the splendor of the outdoors are truly breathtaking, even if it is in a cartoon. The voice acting is top notch as well, with Kelly Macdonald and Emma Thompson doing fantastic jobs as Merida and her mother Elinor. Billy Connelly is entertaining as Merida's father, but was on the verge of crossing over into the "over-the-top" realm. Thankfully the Scottish accents aren't reaching the level of incomprehensible either, so you won't be asking for a rewind of any particular scenes. The score is fine too, with a mixture of flutes, bagpipes, and various other instruments that add to the atmosphere and occasional fun vibe of the film.

I feel like I absolutely have to address the negatives though, as much as I am opposed to doing it. This is friggin' Pixar, I fear I may burst into flames with any criticism. All things considered, the story and the structure it has is rather simple, which is surprising for this studio. It plays out in a fairly predictable manner, with no real surprises to speak of. It felt more akin to a Dreamworks production at times. I also thought the film ran rather quickly, and had they decided to add on another twenty minutes or so, we could have gotten more well rounded characters and less throwaway ones. Finally, this film lacks a strong villain. We're alluded as to who it may be earlier in the film, and when we finally meet the villain, they have a total screen time of perhaps ten to fifteen minutes. It is massively underwhelming and incredibly disappointing, especially considering how vital and vibrant someone like Lotso was in Toy Story 3.

All of those complaints aside, I can still recommend Brave, though not strongly. When this film is finally released on DVD and Blu-Ray, give it a rent and judge it for yourself. It does have a better message than most pieces of media targeted to young girls in 2012, so surely that can't be a bad thing.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack Review (Plus Some News for October!)

You know, I don't want to waste much time on this one, so I'm not giving it a dignified synopsis or plot summary. It hasn't earned one.

First and foremost, this is NOT a movie based around the 1916 shark attacks that occurred with sharks swimming up the Jersey Shore and attacking people. No, that would be too interesting (though it is referenced here). Instead, I propose a question: have you ever wanted to see the increasingly annoying and popular cast of the now-canceled Jersey Shore get devoured by killer sharks? Well...this isn't the film for you then. Also, this may contain spoilers. Why? Because, fuck you, that's why.

This goes beyond dumb. It isn't even the enjoyable kind of dumb you can get with a Roger Corman flick; it just ends up being a real chore to watch. It fails as a comedy, it fails as a horror film, and it fails as a parody. The best you can do with parodying something easy to lambast and tear apart in the first place is change the names of the main characters from "Snooki" and "The Situation" to "Nookie" and "The Complication?" For fuck's sake, who were your inspirations, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer? For that matter, who is this suppose to appeal to? These characters are our heroes throughout the agonizing ninety minutes this film takes to finish, and the production values and script aren't going to be enough to convince fans to stay around (the sharks themselves look similar to Wadzilla from Chillerama, but with a budget that makes Gwar's stage show look like Tom Savini's). Non-fans will be equally outraged and irritated when they discover that NONE of the cast is killed. No, you didn't misread that, I said NONE. It even degenerates into a Jaws parody at the halfway point, but you'll be too bored to care. Joey Fatone shows up temporarily, most likely to collect a meal check, and is promptly killed within no time. Joey "Coco" Diaz shows up for approximately three minutes and is given absolutely nothing to do other than look concerned and die an incredibly LAME death. Paul Sorvino just looks embarrassed to be here, and I can't blame him. Going from Goodfellas to Jersey Shore Shark Attack certainly isn't the path you expected your career to take. I would have said the same thing about Tony Sirico from The Sopranos showing up, but that was less surprising considering his track record isn't exactly perfect outside of portraying Paulie Walnuts.

I know some will attempt to defend this and say that because this was most likely intended to be a bad film, that it shields itself from any criticism whatsoever. I call BULLSHIT. As I've stated before, the best kind of bad films aren't made with any intention of turning out bad, they're the ones that directors and screenwriters conjure up with only awards and/or financial success in mind. Films like The Room, Troll 2, Manos: The Hands of Fate, and Shark Attack 3: Megalodon are great examples of bad movies worth viewing at least once in your lifetime. This one just stinks, and is somehow even worse than the show they're attempting to mock.

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Well now that I've gone through THAT mess, I have some very fun news to announce: last year's 31 Days of Horror blog is returning this year! I'm currently assembling another list of thirty one horror films that I've never seen in their entirety/never seen whatsoever, and am planning on blogging for every single one of them. As before, there will be some surprises in there, such as a few Stephen King adaptations that I've never bothered to watch until now, and even a few more "necessary" horror films that come highly recommended by horror purists around the world. Stay tuned for more news regarding this year's incarnation!