Thursday, January 23, 2014

Ryan's Best and Worst of 2013: Part 2 (Music)

Well, this certainly took longer than I expected it to. Then again, when one considers that the likes of the folks working at The Wrestling Observer and That Guy With The Glasses usually put up their "best of" lists towards the end of the first month of the new year, it becomes slightly less embarrassing. Combine that with having an EEG, which resulted in the possible diagnosis of epilepsy, and I have admittedly been getting a little sidetracked. Meandering aside, let us dive into what most of my friends would care to read about, which are my own personal choices for the best and worst of 2013 in the realm of records and movies.

Honestly, I think that in terms of overall satisfaction, this was quite lackluster compared to years prior. A large chunk of blockbusters with an abnormal amount of hype (and in some cases, absurdly expensive budgets) failed to live up to expectations, or in some cases, just plain stank. We weren't without some fabulously entertaining moments however, especially when "awards season" kicked off. Music was also exceptional this year, and there are quite a lot of records that I will feel sad leaving off of my own personal top twenty list because it was just that stacked. Before I reveal my own picks, I'll just get one thing out of the way: I only listened to perhaps two records this year that I strongly disliked, but couldn't bring myself to flat out hate. Those two albums were Queensryche-Frequency Unknown and Black Sabbath-13. With the former, it seems like an easy target, but considering the pompous feeling that resonates during every track, coupled with the hilarious drama surrounding the formerly great band (this album's initials are "F U" after all), I couldn't help but give Mr. Geoff Tate's incarnation of Queensryche a dishonorable mention. As for Sabbath, it truly does break my heart to have to say anything negative about the band these days, or any day for that matter. Still, the album did absolutely nothing for me, and its glossy production (courtesy of the usually great Rick Rubin) didn't help disguise the mostly soulless playing heard throughout. And yes, I'm still in favor of Bill Ward coming back to the band, even though I still love Brad Wilk and his previous work with Rage Against the Machine.

Now that I've spent my time essentially taking a dump on the legends of old and their reluctance to hang it up, let us dive into my top twenty albums of 2013. Due to the sheer size seen here, this will be end up as a three part posting, as opposed to last year's two parter, with today encompassing records only. So if you don't particularly care about these styles of music, check back later for my choices for the best and worst of movies in 2013.




20. Revocation-Revocation

For some reason, this band never quite clicked with me every time I had listened to them, and I thought they sounded like a weaker version of Burnt By The Sun when I saw them live, but I'm willing to eat a big bowl of crow for these previous thoughts. This self-titled album contains very solid technical, thrashy death metal with quite catchy and precise guitar solos. True, I think the vocals could still use some work, but these guys are quite young after all. Did I mention that they make good use of a friggin' banjo?!




19. Power Trip-Manifest Decimation

I hinted last year that I was mostly bored with hardcore now, but the modern Texas crossover madmen still managed to keep my attention (and not just by signing with Southern Lord Recordings) by getting even heavier, faster, and more retro-sounding. Yes, the thrash revival of the modern era has pretty much overstayed its welcome, but I suspect that Power Trip, along with a couple of other particular bands who will show up later on this list, will be around much longer than folks will suspect.




18. Paint It Black-Invisible

Speaking of hardcore, Dan Yemin is the man. An intelligent, well spoken musician with a doctorate in psychology, the Paint it Black frontman has been around for over twenty years, recording music with an assortment of acts that seem to (shockingly) get better and better every time a new project forms. As for why this doesn't rank higher? Well, for one thing, it is only an EP, as opposed to an entire album. Shortness aside, the six tracks of melodic hardcore heard here are all winners, and make me salivate at the possibility of a new full-length arriving sooner than later.




17. Blood Ceremony-The Eldritch Dark

Okay, I'll confess to being almost sick to death of the retro metal revival/70s worship that seems to be the bees knees among most music critics and fans these days (I apologize if I'm complained about this before). I'm more fascinated by seeing where the genre is going to go, rather than see it take several steps back. All of that grumbling aside, most of the music that has been coming out has been very, very good. I'm legitimately surprised that I never gave this band a listen before, especially considering the quality of albums released by Rise Above Records and my penchant for most bands who convey a very psychedelic "cult initiation" feeling. And what Revocation was able to do with a banjo, these Canadians manage to do with a flute, and several times at that.




16. Cough/Windhand-Reflections of the Negative (Split)

No, this is not favoritism because my band has played with these two Virginia doom bands several times. And no, I'm not choosing this over Windhand's own full-length released this year in order to be "cool." Truth be told, I actually haven't gotten around to checking out Windhand-Soma due to my own incompetence. I chose this because all three songs featured here just crush your very soul, especially the haunting two pieces from the latter. I'm not exactly certain about what runs through the waters of Richmond that helps to create such memorable, dirging madness, but I think we could use a bit of it here.




15. Weekend Nachos-Still

Was it just me, or did this new release from this well-known raging hardcore/powerviolence group just kind of come and go without much attention? Maybe this is just due to the fact that I think the band should be much bigger than they are at the moment, and have been getting even heavier with every release. Oh, I forget that sometimes that is a kiss of death in an occasionally choosy scene littered with short attention spans. But speaking of short, if you're in the mood for short, fast, angry, and even a little bit of sarcastic music (they may pack the most random and hilarious merch around), give this a whirl.




14. Russian Circles-Memorial

When it comes to the world of post-rock and post-metal, some albums resonate so well, you can't really post or discuss an individual track, since it feels like you're doing a disservice to the other equally mighty and impressive songs featured throughout. Such is the newest work from long-running instrumentalists Russian Circles, who may have made their strongest and most emotional album to date. If you're willing to submit to this style, you can find it is quite the journey, full of mixed emotions (all ultimately positive) and memorable parts, including a guest vocal(!) appearance from someone who will appear later on the list. I'm quite giddy to finally see them live for the first time next month.




13. Off With Their Heads-Home

I'm quite pissed off with myself that I didn't know misery-loving punk rockers Off With Their Heads had released a new album in the first quarter of the year, and I didn't discover this fact until NOVEMBER. It is a crying shame since I think that with more time, this could have easily made my top ten of the year. Mind you, this is by no means the fault of anyone or anything but myself, considering that the band is just as pissed as I am, but with many more catchy hook-laden choruses and verses than I could ever hope to come up with. If you're ever craving a band that proves the old formula of two negatives equal a positive (in this case, one is a listener down in the dumps, and the other is lyricist Ryan Young), you may have found your new favorite act.




12. Blockheads-This World Is Dead

I may have to retract that statement about savaging the old guard, since France's Blockheads have been around since 1992, grinding and raging with the very best of them. At the risk of losing any potential future readers from "big" publications, good god almighty does this album rule very, VERY hard, especially if you're a fan of bands like Napalm Death, Terrorizer, and Nasum. Perhaps it could use a little more diversity among its twenty-five tracks, but you'll be too busy screaming with the socio-political lyrics and thrashing around wherever you may be to care or notice.




11. Magic Circle-Magic Circle

Having mentioned this supergroup in last year's "honorable mentions" list, I was pleased to learn that they didn't just fade into obscurity like other side projects in the hardcore scene, especially given how un-hardcore they are. Instead, they came back with a vengeance, releasing one of the most soaring traditional doom metal records I've heard in some time. Who would have thought that the singer for The Rival Mob had these type of pipes on him? I expect that by this time next year, Magic Circle will have been picked up by a more prominent record label. If not, there is no justice in this world.


Note: unfortunately, nearly every track from the self-titled effort has not been approved for sharing on blogspot, so I implore you to copy and paste this link into your browser for enjoyment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2y1iWZop6Q


10. Toxic Holocaust-Chemistry of Consciousness

Evil, catchy, speedy without going too long, and drug-laden. It's a new Toxic Holocaust record, what more can you ask for? Okay, that description isn't very subtle, but Joel Grind and crew (which used to just be Grind himself) pull no punches on this fifth album, churning out punk-inspired thrash and speed metal like nobody's business. While I don't think it can compete with their works of old (crap, there's my elitist side coming out), it is miles ahead of most other acts out there, mostly thanks to the exceptional production from Converge's Kurt Ballou. Plus, the video for single "Acid Fuzz" is appropriately fitting.




9. Mammoth Grinder-Underworlds

If riff city is a real place, Mammoth Grinder live in the nicest area one could find. Or is it the nastiest part? Okay, I can't do geography jokes very well, but it doesn't really matter in the end when the music kicks your ass this much. Like Power Trip and the now-defunct (or are they?) Iron Age, these Texans know how to pack a devastating punch to every part of your body that is vulnerable, and again, have been getting heavier with each release. If Dismember, Venom, and Motorhead were thrown into a blender….well, they'd all be deceased, and it would create a bloody mess. Alright, I'll quit with the jokes! Go listen to this and headbang until your neck snaps.




8. Skeletonwitch-Serpents Unleashed

Incredible cover art aside, Skeletonwitch's last two records did almost nothing for me. Live, the blackened-thrash metal band still destroys most out there, but it just felt like they were going with the flow. Thankfully, making the decision to team up with Kurt Ballou and Alan Douches on the producing and mastering side of things may have breathed some new life into this band, as they haven't sounded this tight and alive in six years. This is a pure heavy metal album at its core. New cover art from the always incredible John Baizley was a nice bonus too. Bravo gentlemen.




7. Chelsea Wolfe-Pain is Beauty

Upon first listen, I almost put this in my "disappointment" pile, but with continual returns, and an insistence that I must be crazy to dislike a new record from the usually intoxicating Ms. Wolfe, I found myself enjoying it more and more. This is how one artist evolves while still staying true to themselves, and still being shrouded in the darkness and misery that made them popular in the first place. Chelsea's brand of goth and doom-tinged neofolk (no way to not sound like a pretentious dickbag there) is a bit of  an acquired taste, but the woman is very talented nonetheless. With an opening slot for Queens of the Stone Age coming up, along with being featured in the new Game of Thrones teaser, the future is certainly much brighter than I think even she would have expected.




6. Clutch-Earth Rocker

If there was a category for best "comeback" record of the year, I think Clutch would have taken the award without any second thought. True, the band had not hit a slump or even released a bad album within the past few years, but I thought previous release Strange Cousins From the West was quite boring for the most part. Boredom will be the last thing on your mind while checking out Earth Rocker though, as this is no-frills, no bullshit, riff-filled stoner rock and roll. For the longest part of their career, Clutch were unmatched in this category, and frontman/lyricist Neil Fallon said they just wanted to make a straight up good rock record this time. Well, I think you've delivered in spades my fellow Marylanders. To quote one Ashley Williams, it is quite "Groovy."




5. Subrosa-More Constant Than The Gods

Mother of mercy. Emotional doesn't even begin to describe the feelings one gets while listening to the female-fronted avant-garde sludge/doom metal group's second full-length, though an extra feeling that will come over you suggests that Profound Lore continue to be the champions of underground heavy music. From the get go, the haunting and violin-filled opening of "The Usher" sets the mood just perfectly, and you won't want the record to end, perhaps even in fear of the band members' lives or your own. I don't know if the band has any plans to tour outside of the West Coast in 2014, but should they read this, I implore that you stop somewhere in the Carolinas in the near future. Sludge metal and music in general this unique needs to be heard by more than a few select individuals.





4. Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats-Mind Control

Without a doubt, this band is THE talk of the town among hardcore metalheads right now, especially given that they'll be playing their first stateside show within four months of this post, and have even attracted the attention of people normally not interested in the genre. Heck, they even recently got to open for Black Sabbath in the United Kingdom, something unheard of for a band of their style (even if their own sound strongly harkens back to the originators' own heyday). This doesn't mean it isn't warranted, since the tracks provided on Mind Control are just as breathtaking and well-structured as previous record Bloodlust, making one feel as if they've been transported back to the decades where drug use was the norm, and psychotic cults were one of the most feared thoughts in the minds of families. If you haven't taken a chance on this band yet, you are missing out.




3. Purson-The Circle and the Blue Door

Speaking of Uncle Acid, these relative newcomers (also from the U.K.) were the openers on their own headlining tour, for which I can't express enough jealousy towards our overseas friends. It may not be fair to call Purson a metal band, since their love of mellotron and psychedelic overtones have more in common with late-60s bands like Jefferson Airplane than anything else. Heck, I've even seen them in interviews site The Beatles as their greatest influence. Good music is good music though, and the tracks provided here are equal parts enchanting, memorable, bewitching, and powerful. Oh, and their lead singer Rosalie can sing her ass off, which is always a plus. This honestly could have made the spot for my favorite record of the year, but like OWTH, I discovered this a little too late. Hopefully nobody else makes that same mistake.





2. Oathbreaker-Eros/Anteros

There were a plethora of records that went largely unnoticed in 2013, including some honorable mentions I'll bring up at the end of this list. Belgium metallic hardcore band Oathbreaker, who have appeared before on my EOTY list (Maelstrom came in at #12 in 2011), released their magnum opus earlier in the year, and not a single soul seemed to notice until the final weeks of the year were coming to a close. Me? Well, I've been trying to champion this record as much as I could to my friends who are into extreme music. The band has incorporated more elements from black metal, doom metal, and post-metal into their sound now, making for a truly harrowing and pulverizing experience. Frontwoman Caro Tanghe sounds like she's on the verge of being torn limb from limb, and on the crawling and creepy "The Abyss Looks Into Me," she sounds like she's eerily ready to depart this plane. Along with her equally furious bandmates, they have concocted a truly tremendous piece of work not just in the world of hardcore or metal, but in the world of music.







1. KEN Mode-Entrench

And here we have it, the cream of the crop. I didn't think that Canada's KEN Mode would be able to top the quite awesome Venerable from 2011, but I've been pleasantly proven wrong multiple times this year. With a steady lineup and an absolutely killer production job from Matt Bayles (who produced what is still my favorite Mastodon record, Remission), the combat sports and Anthony Peer-loving Canucks churned out the most furious, passionate, and destructive album of the year. While KEN Mode has been around for some time, they really did hone their sound this time around, which is a very dissident combination of sludge metal, noise rock, and post-hardcore. The lyrics are, for the most part, shockingly pessimistic throughout, and it reflects on you the listener. "Romeo Must Never Know" is the best song Isis never wrote, while the guest appearances from hardcore giants Dave Verellen and Tim Singer (of Botch and Deadguy respectively) on tracks "The Promises of God" and "No, I'm In Control" only add to the incredible effort put out. I would say that I'm "proud" of the guys for putting out something this damn good, especially given the praise that Venerable (rightly) received, but I don't think they need my good words, and would tell me to figure my life out.





And there you have it! Good lord did that take a long time to write. Shockingly, I am not done though, as there were a few honorable mentions worth talking about and also grabbing if you have the chance. They are:

-Nails-Abandon All Life (if there was a tie for #20, this would have been right up there)
-Holy-The Age Of Collapse (for the people who miss bands like Lewd Acts)
-Modern Life is War-Fever Hunting (welcome back fellas, even if it has only been five years)
-Ulcerate-Vermis (this was a very selective year for me and death metal)
-Creem-The Curator EP (still doing a great job, even if the vocals have changed a bit)



Come back soon for the posting of the best and worst for movies in 2013!

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Ryan's Best and Worst of 2013: Part 1

Hello. I realize that posts on here have been rather nonexistent since my Blue Ruin review, and I can only ascribe that to a myriad of problems, be they financial or personal. Whatever the case, this is no excuse when it comes to posting my inevitable "End of the Year" lists. Sure, I am about a week or two removed from the mostly miserable year known as 2013 being over, but the year did have a good amount of bright spots in the three things that help me keep a grasp on my sanity: movies, music, and mixed martial arts. There were also some fine moments that came out of the mostly-irritating promotion known as "World Wrestling Entertainment," though they love to seemingly do more to irk me rather than please me it seems. Procrastination and rambling aside, let us move forward. For those apathetic towards the world of mixed martial arts and professional wrestling, I may have to ask you to come back later for the important stuff (also known as the subjects that usually don't involve half naked individuals hurting one another).


Let us start with the WWE, since it will be easier and quicker to write about. And speaking of quicker and easier, my own lethargy will help get some of these other categories out of the way.

Best PPV: Summerslam 2013 (August 18, 2013) (even with the last match's victor losing his belt in eight seconds and with it leading to a push down the card)

Worst PPV: Battleground (October 6, 2013) (quite possibly the worst ending to a PPV in years)

Most Underrated: Antonio Cesaro (tied with Dolph Ziggler and Tyson Kidd. Push these people!)

Most Overrated: Randy Orton (not a terrible performer, but horrendously boring and stale this year)

Best Gimmick: The Wyatt Family (the creepiest and most unique promos this company has ever had, despite them not being tremendous performers)

Worst Gimmick: Bad News Barrett (idiotic comedy coming from a very underrated performer. Late WCW-era levels of groaning)

Best Tag Team: Cody Rhodes and Goldust (an astonishing return from the latter)

Worst Tag Team: Ryback and Curtis Axel (two negatives do not make a positive)




MATCH OF THE YEAR:

CM Punk v. Brock Lesnar (August 18, 2013)




The hype and build up to this was more than justified. Lesnar returning to the world of professional wrestling was a good reminder as to why he was so sorely missed: if booked properly, the man comes across as a monster, seemingly incapable of being stopped due to his sheer size, power, and credentials. Well, unless your name is Alistair Overeem or Cain Velasquez. That being said, along with individuals like Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, and the faction known as The Shield, CM Punk helps prevent me from changing the channel during these hard times. Perhaps you can attribute this to his demeanor, look, or honest-to-god great skills inside of the ring. Whatever the case, the resulting match was pure magic, albeit painful, cruel, and grueling. The only disappointment was the ignorance on the part of the WWE to even recognize its greatness during their own "Slammys" program at the end of the year (the borefest known as The Rock v. Cena 2 gets MOTY and this doesn't even get a NOMINATION?!). But sometimes the best matches, regardless of the sport, go unnoticed in the eyes of the corporate head honchos. This is what you should show to the folks who have since given up on this lost art form.

Honorable Mentions:

John Cena v. CM Punk (February 25, 2013)
Daniel Bryan v. John Cena (August 18, 2013)
Cody Rhodes/Goldust v. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins (October 6, 2013)
Daniel Bryan v. Antonio Cesaro (July 22, 2013)
The Undertaker v. CM Punk (April 7, 2013)




WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR:

Total Divas v. True Divas (November 25, 2013)




Is it unfair to put a match featuring nearly every modern WWE "Diva" in this category? Possibly. But it doesn't excuse the match from being a total mess. I could go on a full fledged rant about the state of female wrestling in this company, and how they are clearly frightened to bring in any real talent (excluding "NXT's" Paige and Natalya Neidhart), but I don't feel I'd be saying anything that hasn't already been said. This was just a rushed, stupefying, and all around bad match. From what I understand, the match that preceded this the night before at Survivor Series (with the EXACT SAME TEAMS) was just as terrible, but I was working the night of that card. So this will have to do for now.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions:

Mark Henry v. Ryback (April 7, 2013)
Daniel Bryan v. Randy Orton (October 6, 2013)
Total Divas v. True Divas (any and all other times are acceptable)




BEST WRESTLER:

Daniel Bryan




While I don't believe there was a single person screwed over by a company any worse this year (save for Bellator's Eddie Alvarez), the man still transformed from mid-carder to main eventer and the fans absolutely loved every second of it. Alas, he is back down on the card, but the impact of his ascension has been felt. His "YES!" chants are more abundant than ever, more people (young and old) are talking about him than before, and if you believe the dirt sheets, he's poised for a major match at Wrestlemania that a very select few get to be a part of. I certainly hope that he's back in the title picture again soon, but even if he isn't, he may have been elevated above any title currently in the company.

Honorable Mentions:

CM Punk
John Cena (before you crucify me for this, let it be known that I can not stomach the guy, and think that about 90% of his matches are wretched to sit through. That being said, the man actually had a great year for memorable performances, including matches with the aforementioned Bryan, Punk, Damien Sandow, and the Shield. I await and welcome arguments)




WORST WRESTLER OF THE YEAR:

The Great Khali




I am completely baffled as to why this man is still on the roster. Immobile, sloppy, and embarrassing to watch these days, this former world champion has been reduced to a chest-slapping comedy character, and not a very good one at that. While I'm not completely against comedy in my wrestling, knowing that this man will most likely be confined to a wheelchair makes me more sad than anything, and I wish the WWE would just let the man retire while he is ahead.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions:

The Miz
Ryback
Eva Marie






Well, for all of you bickering and impatient people, the "fake" stuff is done and dealt with. Now, let us move on to the bloodier part of this post: the mixed martial arts awards. Before listing off my choices, I must preface this by saying that I was not witness to every single critically acclaimed bout that took place this year, as my work schedule was very erratic and I value sleep more than I ever did before (having two seizures will do that to you). So Jon Jones v. Alexander Gustafsson will be nowhere on here, simply because I have not seen it. Let's move on before you bite me in the face.




BEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR:

Mark Hunt draws Antonio "Bigfoot" Silva (December 7, 2013)



It is a miracle that both men were still standing and breathing after this war of attrition. What was all the more astonishing was that the former PRIDE FC standout and former Elite XC Heavyweight Champion are friends, having trained together multiple times at the camp known as "American Top Team." Over the course of twenty-five minutes, we witnessed two men refuse to quit, even if their own bodies would give out and their chins would deteriorate into nothingness. Covered in blood, exhausted, and most likely damaged for worse in the long run, this was an incredible bout that could go down as the best bout in the UFC's long standing heavyweight division. The announcement at the end from ring announcer Bruce Buffer of "This fight is considered a Majority Draw" would normally incite wrath from the usually irritable MMA community, but it was a fitting and comforting end to a gruesome, legendary contest, wherein we wanted to see neither warrior lose. The highlight video I have posted above does not do it justice.

Honorable Mentions:

Dennis Bermudez d. Matt Grice (February 23, 2013)
Wanderlei Silva d. Brian Stann (March 3, 2013)
Michelle Waterson d. Jessica Penne (April 5, 2013)
Matt Brown d. Jordan Mein (April 20, 2013)
Gilbert Melendez d. Diego Sanchez (October 19, 2013)


WORST FIGHT OF THE YEAR:

Ovince St. Preux d. Gian Vilante (April 27, 2013)




I'm sure there are more high profile bouts that could end up in this spot, but this one takes the cake due to the sheer incompetence of the referee involved. While the two rounds that preceded round three of this bout were very tepid and underwhelming, the decision to stop the fight due to an eye poke, without giving the recipient any time to recover and regain vision (which is usually customary), was flabbergasting. True, both men have since regained some of their former glory, each going on to win their next scheduled bouts, but this leaves a stain that can't quite be washed away.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions:

Jake Shields d. Tyron Woodley (June 15, 2013)
Rory MacDonald d. Jake Ellenberger (July 27, 2013)
Soa Palelei d. Nikita Krylov (August 31, 2013)




ROUND OF THE YEAR:

Gilbert Melendez v. Diego Sanchez: Round 3 (October 19, 2013)




What, no video you say? Well, you should probably go seek out this entire fight anyway, regardless of which round I choose to shower with praise. The original Ultimate Fighter winner proved he can still throw down and throw caution to the wind if it comes down to it, while the former Strikeforce and WEC Lightweight Champion channeled his frustration following a tough loss to former champion Benson Henderson into a sensational, blood-drawing rage that few had seen before. By the time that the final five minutes rolled around, both men looked like they had seen better days, but Sanchez came back with flurries aplenty, dropping the former champion, and even coming close to finishing the bout. A magnificent display of violence, even if it will most likely lead to permanent brain damage for both men.

Honorable Mentions:

Matt Brown v. Jordan Mein: Round 1 (April 20, 2013)
Ronda Rousey v. Liz Carmouche: Round 1 (February 23, 2013)




FIGHTER OF THE YEAR:

Demetrious Johnson




I'll eat a big ol' bowl of crow for this one. I've never been the world's biggest fan of the man nicknamed "Mighty Mouse," but he sure as hell won me over this year. Tough, fast, skilled beyond belief, and full of surprises, Johnson managed to defend his Flyweight title three separate times in 2013, with each  defense being more memorable than the last. There's a special kind of criticism reserved for champions of the old guard, saying that they prefer to play it safe these days and rely on the rather unpopular form known as "point fighting" in order to keep their championships and legacy intact. Johnson is the opposite of such, constantly working for submissions in his bout with John Moraga, coming back from a near stoppage against John Dodson to attempt multiple fight-ending methods, and becoming the first individual to stop the incredibly tough Joseph Benavidez. I can not wait to see him fight again this year, even if he has cleared out most of the division.

Honorable Mentions:
Renan Barao
Robbie Lawler
Chris Weidman
Cain Velasquez




KNOCKOUT OF THE YEAR:

Chris Weidman d. Anderson Silva (July 6, 2013)




This was a rather difficult choice to make. On one hand, it may not have been the flashiest display of technique you'll see, but in terms of awe-inspiring madness, this will stand the test of time. This was the 2013 version of Fabricio Werdum upsetting Fedor Emelianenko, even if the betting odds were nowhere near as wide as that bout was. Silva's aura in the UFC was incomparable, having never lost a single fight in the octagon, and Weidman was coming off a yearlong layoff. It was assumed we'd get one of two things: an easy win for "The Spider," or five rounds of Weidman trying to grind out a decision (note: Weidman is usually a finisher, I'm just going with wrestler logic). This was the type of upset that didn't just make your jaw drop, it stuck with you weeks after it happened. Sadly, I could say the same for the terrifying result of their rematch on the final card of the year.

Honorable Mentions:

Emanuel Newton d. Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal (February 21, 2013)
Josh Thomson d. Nate Diaz (April 20, 2013)
Vitor Belfort d. Luke Rockhold (May 18, 2013)
Dong-Hyun Kim d. Erick Silva (October 9, 2013)
Douglas Lima d. Ben Saunders (September 20, 2013)




SUBMISSION OF THE YEAR:

Josh Burkman d. Jon Fitch (June 14, 2013)




Hard. As. Fuck. And not in the sexual way. It might be the only way one could describe such a shocking moment though. Fitch was still ranked in most people's top ten lists, and was coming off of an unwarranted release from the UFC. On the other end, Josh Burkman was a UFC castoff, having not competed in the organization for four years. The mostly new league, World Series of Fighting, was looking for their first truly memorable moment of the year, and Burkman's cold killer mentality during and after the fight provided them with it. True, infamously inept referee Steve Mazzagatti deserves a wag of the finger for not noticing Fitch was unconscious following the guillotine choke that Burkman applied, but at least Josh had enough sense to let go when he felt his opponent (who he had lost to seven years prior) go limp. This was the MMA equivalent of a Rotten Sound song: short, angry, brutal, and very sweet.

Honorable Mentions:

Rose Namajunas d. Kathina Catron (April 5, 2013)
Anthony Pettis d. Benson Henderson (August 31, 2013)
Michelle Waterson d. Jessica Penne (April 5, 2013)
Erick Silva d. Jason High (June 8, 2013)



ROBBERY OF THE YEAR:

Phil Davis d. Lyoto Machida (August 3, 2013)




If Krusty the Clown didn't describe this perfectly (there is no highlight video for a reason), I'll just state that I partially blame this atrocious decision for my first of two seizures this year, given that not even twelve hours later, I was waking up in the hospital with no recollection of how I arrived. Most judges are still scoring fights based on who presses forward more, or if they even manage to sneak one good takedown into the rather uneventful fray. Sadly, this archaic mindset will probably never fade away, and the sometimes controversial Machida was robbed of a big victory in his own home country. Thankfully, things look up for the former Light Heavyweight Champion as he has dropped down to Middleweight, and looks to begin a new campaign of splitting wigs.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions

Georges St-Pierre d. Johny Hendricks (November 16, 2013)
Francis Carmont d. Lorenz Larkin (April 20, 2013)
Diego Sanchez d. Takanori Gomi (March 3, 2013)




BEST CARD OF THE YEAR: 

UFC on Fuel TV 10: Nogueira v. Werdum (June 8, 2013)




Setting the record for "most submissions" in a single event isn't easy to do, but you have to give the Brazilians on this card props, since they went fairly crazy at this event and set the record at eight. True, a lot of these bouts seemed custom-made for easy victories, but entertainment is entertainment, regardless of the caliber of competition involved. Thiago Silva managed to snag his first clean victory in four years, Erick Silva secured a beautiful triangle-armbar combination on the returning Jason High, the Ultimate Fighter Brazil 2 finale bout didn't end up looking like a joke, and Fabricio Werdum showed off his always impressive Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu by submitting the legendary Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, which is certainly no easy task. The crowd seemed to be smiling and celebrating throughout this entire evening, and one certainly couldn't blame them as they were getting their money's worth and more.


Honorable Mentions:

UFC on Fox Sports 1: Shogun v. Sonnen (August 17, 2013)
UFC Fight For the Troops 3 (November 6, 2013)
UFC 168 (December 28, 2013)


WORST CARD OF THE YEAR:

UFC 161




Like last year's recipient (the truly bad UFC 149), this had potential. A proposed rematch years in the making (Mauricio Rua v. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira) and an interim title fight (Renan Barao v. Eddie Wineland) could have made this worthwhile. Instead, a decrepit and disappointing match between Rashad Evans and Dan Henderson drew low PPV buys, and little-to-nothing in the way of fan interest. Couple that with a terrible prelim closer (Jake Shields v. Tyron Woodley did not help draw in skeptics, and may have provided them with a nice nap), and you have the clearcut winner for the worst mixed martial arts card of the year.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions:

UFC 159 (April 27, 2013)
Bellator Fighting Championships Inaugural PPV (November 2, 2013. Notable because the entire thing NEVER ENDED UP HAPPENING)


And there you have it for part one of my delayed, but fairly packed Best and Worst of 2013. In terms of other notable incidents worth talking about from the worlds of professional wrestling and mixed martial arts, I think the WWE Network sounds like a phenomenal deal, and the UFC Fight Pass can bite my scrotum. If there was an upset of the year, I'd say that Daniel Strauss defeating Pat Curran at the Bellator show on November 2nd would be my clearcut winner, though Robbie Lawler defeating Rory MacDonald is a very close second. Come back soon(ish) for the best of the rest, featuring my favorite and least favorite picks in music and movies!