Unseen Terror 2017: Day 14

Four teenagers go for a hike in the mountains, and seem to be enjoying life to the absolute best. While things seem to be going swimmingly, strange jellyfish-like creatures are popping up around the area. They attack and attach themselves to their victims, all while penetrating their bodies with sharpened tentacles. The teens make the decision to drive away from the scene, and ultimately wind up in a truck stop that is populated by skeptics. Well, save for one: Fred "Sarge" Dobbs, a mentally unstable war veteran who is more convinced by the youths' story that anyone else within the vicinity. Soon, every single person involved will discover the truth about the smaller culprits, and that they may be nothing more than weapons for something, or someone far more powerful who views humanity as nothing but trophies.



If you have ever gotten to know me relatively well over the years, then you'll know how much I adore the adrenaline-filled science fiction/action/horror hybrid known as 1987's Predator. I have an unusual bond with John McTiernan's picture, and know a tad bit too much information on its background, legacy, and overall impact that it's had since cinemagoers first laid eyes on it thirty years ago. What took me by surprise, however, was the existence of a small budget SciFi/horror release titled Without Warning. As you can no doubt tell by the film's plot synopsis posted, there's an uncanny resemblance to the franchise that birthed the Yautja.


The similarities between the two end right there though, and for better or for worse, Without Warning is an entirely different beast. There doesn't seem to be the same "one by one you die" plot that is so frequently found in slasher standouts, but rather an incredibly slow burn with only temporary moments of what constitutes as volume. The second act of the motion picture feels as if it were lifted from another release entirely; focusing on the human characters' predicament and the uneasy feelings among the bar patrons. Martin Landau (North by Northwest, Ed Wood) is public enemy number one during these scenes, and while you can classify Without Warning as one of many projects that the actor most likely did out of boredom and paycheck necessity, his role of a paranoid veteran who is obsessed with otherworld lifeforms is one of the only highlights to be found. Jack Palance of City Slickers fame also pops up as a Quint-style character, but there are multiple times where he appears to be rather disinterested or just going through the motions. Nobody else really has distinguishing feature or quirks to separate them from any other horror/scifi movie out there on the market. And yes, that does include suit actor Kevin Peter Hall (the titular antagonist from Predator....yes, I know) as the silent, but absolutely silly Megamind-esque alien hunter.


I will cut Without Warning some slack though, especially since it was filmed for approximately $150,000. Imagination says that most of its budget was spent conceptualizing and creating the rather strange-looking, bloodsucking jellyfish. Their resemblance to a giant tick if it made love with one of the beings from Metroid does provide for some gooey, if not occasionally bloody sequences. But these bright moments are brought down by the flick's greatest flaw: the pacing is oftentimes excruciating. I don't need to sound like a broken record by stating my thoughts on slow burns, so I'll just say that for the first time in this year's marathon, I felt genuinely sleepy while watching a movie. The more sluggish, quieter moments in Without Warning were crafted so that we can spend more time with our leads, but it doesn't seem to fully work since most newcomers will be getting rather impatient with a lack of action.


When all is said and done, the most fascinating thing about Without Warning is being able to pick out which segments and characters serve as the blueprint for better pictures to come along many years later. It isn't a wholly bad movie, but it moves at too much of a crawl for me to ever warrant an immediate repeat viewing. Perhaps this is one of the few exceptions of an 80s horror relic that is in need of a remake. Most of its flaws could be easily improved should it end up in the right pair of hands. If one ever desires to add this pre-Predator piece to their own prize shelf, then you can pick up Shout! Factory's Blu-ray/DVD combo pack for a fairly cheap price.



Or better yet, just get a hold of Predator again. Yes, the advantage is unfair due to having a bigger budget at its disposal, but it'll make you a god damn sexual Tyrannosaurus.




Tomorrow, we' make a leap forward into the next decade, and take a trip to the wonderful world of one acclaimed Latino director!

Unseen Terror 2017: Day 13

It's November 5, 1975, and logger Travis Walton is heading to his job with his assorted friends and coworkers. A typical day goes by, but when the men travel back home, they encounter a strange, seemingly foreign object in the sky. Walton gets out of his vehicle to observe it up close, but is suddenly hit by a blinding ray of light, which sends him flying backwards. The others retreat, fearing that Travis has been killed, but when Mike Rogers, one of the man's closer cohorts, goes back to investigate and retrieve his body, it is nowhere to be found. Thus begins a five day-long search for Travis, who most of the town in which he resided believe has been simply murdered. Others, such as Mike and the rest of the men present that night, stick to their belief that foul play of the otherworld-type was involved, and the latter's beliefs may be confirmed when Mike is the recipient of a strange phone call one evening from someone claiming to be Travis...



So, we're thirteen days into this darn thing, and aliens haven't made a single appearance yet? I guess that has to change. 1993's Fire in the Sky is a movie that I'm mostly familiar with due to assorted YouTube clips that were floating around for a number of years before they were taken down by the powers that be (don't search for them unless you have no issue with most of its core moments being spoiled). Despite my lack of interest in exploring the unknown and headache-inducing UFO studies & conspiracies, I can still enjoy a fun picture about them from time to time if enough effort is put into the project itself. 


I do feel as if I was slightly deceived by my prior knowledge of Fire in the Sky though, as there is a very strong case to be made about why this can't truly qualify as a horror movie. Sure, the core concept of alien abduction and the paranoia that it instills in everyone involved with it is quite the characteristic for pictures of the more terrifying variety, but save for something that I will discuss in the next paragraph below, most of Fire in the Sky is a very slow burn, moving more like a drawn-out mystery rather than a full-fledged horror flick. Some people might find this to be very distracting or disappointing, but I had no qualms with it whatsoever. When you take into account that this is supposedly based on true events, you do find yourself a little more drawn and stuck to the film, wanting to conduct some research yourself after the credits have rolled. Plus, getting to know or possibly care for your main cast is something that I don't frown upon, especially when you have such a solid list of performers at your service. Our poor unfortunate abductee is portrayed by Life as We Know It star D.B. Sweeney, and considering that he's absent for most of Fire's second act, he still manages to garner a lot of sympathy. He's a blue collar individual with a good heart, and when we see him (literally) return to Earth, the amount of sheer horror that he manages to project with his body language and facial expressions makes you feel as if you're there with him, and you just want to give the guy a hug. His concerned coworkers are also fairly easy to identify with, especially Robert Patrick (Terminator 2: Judgement Day, The Faculty), who gives a solid enough performance that it actually led to him being cast in another alien-related property many years later. Craig Sheffer (Nightbreed, One Tree Hill), Henry Thomas (E.T.), and Peter Berg (Shocker) also pop up in in the cast, but I couldn't for the life of me remember anything about their characters. Nobile Willingham of Walker: Texas Ranger fame also has a supporting role as a somewhat clichéd sheriff, whose primary reason for existing seemed to be as the overseeing skeptic of the group. A big cavalcade of people, sure, but their experience and tenure help to keep the motion picture afloat.


A large chunk of Fire in the Sky's main appeal will no doubt come from the "did it happen or didn't it" scenario that is offered to the audience, but unlike some of its brethren, director Robert Lierberman's product has a firm stance of telling you that all of this is absolutely, without question true (insert a Giorgio Tsoukalos quote of your choice). For someone like me, not leaving it up to the audience to decide can be a bit of a disappointment, but when you have to bear witness to what Travis supposedly went through, you will very likely shut your mouth for a few moments. I have managed to sit through a multitude of strange cinematic releases so far this year, including ones that involved a massive, gooey orgy of special effects during its final twenty minutes, and one that included a man committing oral hara-kiri with a pair of scissors. And yet, those could not compare to a haunting, unsettling ten minute-long sequence found in Fire's third act. If ever there was a better depiction of "realistic" kidnapping and experimenting by visitors from beyond the stars, then I've yet to see it. I don't recall the last time that I covered my mouth in disbelief and almost gagged during anything affiliated with science fiction, especially during a movie that is about a subject that very rarely interests me.


The entire event's plausibility withstanding, Fire in the Sky is a pretty fine little picture when you get down to it. While it does seem to not be quite certain about what it wants to be (also classifying it as drama isn't entirely silly to do either), the overall package is fascinating enough to warrant a recommendation. Those who are uncomfortable about situations involving extraterrestrials, especially the ones who share the darker urges and tendencies that some of the worst of humanity also has to offer, could find this more of an uneasy watch than expected. Unless you are willing to drop a pretty penny for the hard-to-find DVD release, your best method of viewing this 1993 piece is to check it out on Amazon Prime.



Or maybe, if you're nice enough to the whackjobs behind Ancient Aliens, they'll lend you one of the thousands of copies that I am positive they have stashed away in their closets.




Tomorrow, we're sticking with the unknown visitors, but at least this time, they might give us a bit of a warning...

Unseen Terror 2017: Day 11 & 12

Hooray, birthday entry!

And uh, day after the birthday entry too I suppose. Yeah, I admit that it does seem to be a little too early to already be running behind, but hey, when you have a special occasion to celebrate, then perhaps it's excusable. Still, I don't want a repeat of last year, where I have to cram three or four days' worth of viewings into one entry, so let's just cut to the chase and talk about some films, yes? On a similar note, American Made isn't too shabby of a picture, and Tom Cruise is at his best when he's playing a bit of scumbag or sketchy individual.



Oh, right, there are horror movies to tall about.

When compiling this year's listing of movies to watch, I managed to get lucky and gain access to a very good friend's Plex account. It was there that I found nearly every Stephen King adaptation to date, so the options are clearly open for me to pick and choose whatever the heck I could want. But after perusing, I shocked myself with a revelation: I have never seen Christine, the big screen version of his eighth published novel. This was especially surprising considering that it was also directed by horror icon John Carpenter, who I'd place in my personal list of top ten favorite directors, regardless of genre. If ever there were an invitation to finally take a shot and put the flick on, then it was now.

For those unaware of its plot, Christine is about a very socially awkward, dorky young man named Arnold Cunningham. Save for having a best friend in the athletic Dennis, he doesn't seem to have much luck with anything in general, be it a personal or social life. While traveling home one afternoon, the two of them drive by an old house, and suddenly "Arnie" is drawn to a broken down, ragged-looking 1958 Plymouth Fury. The owner of the property agrees to sell the vehicle, nicknamed "Christine," for a relatively meager amount of money. Within no time, Arnie begins taking his car to a repair shop, where his attitude and appearance begin to slowly change. It is during this time that his cohorts begin to do some research, and discover that the previous driver actually killed himself inside Christine. Even stranger is the fact that for as much time Arnie spends with his new purchase, it almost feels as if SHE's growing attached to him herself and acting unnaturally protective.


That concept for Christine is actually eerily similar to previous King works such as Carrie, but rather than psychic powers, this geeky character is instead gifted with the arrival of a four-wheeled machine that could help him exact revenge if there is a need for such a thing. It's also riddled with some of the same clichés as most, if not all of his prior projects (exaggerated bullies for one). Despite those minor critiques, Christine just clicks. Perhaps that can be attributed to the presence of John Carpenter, who shoots it in such a way that our eyes are glued to the screen for about every minute that goes by, as we grow attached to nearly every character throughout the picture. Even in his projects that aren't fully his own, the master behind Halloween and The Thing is still an expert at getting the best out of his cast, with future directors Keith Gordon (Dexter, Waking the Dead) and John Stockwell (Crazy/Beautiful) delivering memorable performances as our two leads. He also contributes an absolutely stellar score in between the old 1950s rock and roll tunes: a staple of his since the beginning that has very rarely changed. It's one of the many things that I truly admire about the man and something that I don't believe he gets enough credit for in the press.

I feel as though I can't add anything to the praise that Christine already gets from most fans of scarier cinema. It's a very entertaining experience that is exceptionally well shot and stylish as all hell (the sequences involving the car repairing itself are quite awesome and will make you want to research as to how it was done). Far more eerie and fun than it has any right to be, it's one of the highlights to the seventh year of Unseen Terror. There are relatively inexpensive releases out there for you to purchase, and once this fan is able to snag himself a better job in the future, the latter's Blu-ray shall be a welcome addition to the fold.

But be careful what you say about my Xbox One when I pop it in. She's pretty sensitive.

For the twelfth day, I figured that since Stephen King helped deliver one of the better pictures that I've seen so far, why not stick to another big screen feature from the most infamous person to emerge from Maine?

I was fully convinced that I had previously watched 1990's Graveyard Shift, a story about textile mill workers who are disappearing because they have a REALLY bad rat (or is it?) problem, until it suddenly occurred to me that I had only ever seen the final ten minutes on what I believe was Cinemax. Naturally my morbid curiosity led to me starting the whole thing up for the first time in 2017. Hey, I do possess some halfway decent memories of the finale, so the rest of the feature has to at least be entertaining. Unfortunately, what I received was something far less satisfying than I expected.


We'll start with the most noteworthy positive: Brad Dourif, once again, is the best aspect of a mediocre movie. In Graveyard Shift, he's playing a very unhinged ex-Vietnam veteran who has taken a serious liking to exterminating pests. His character is just so bizarre and amusing, that it wouldn't surprise you to learn that he may be committing these heinous acts of animal cruelty while being fully erect. Sadly, unlike his tenure in Death Machine, Dourif exits the flick far too early, and when he leaves, it's up to the rest of the cast to keep the film afloat. Perhaps it was due to a weak script or just feeling as if they wouldn't be able to compare to his greatness, but nobody else in particular seemed very interesting or well-developed, and we don't feel connected to or concerned for them during moments of peril. At least The Monster Squad's Steven Macht tries though, but goodness knows I could not quite figure out for the life of me what accent he was trying to lend to his character. My guess was a Latino version of Morgan Freeman who was reading an audiobook while on downers.

One interesting tidbit that I discovered while researching Graveyard Shift was that the original choice for director was legendary makeup/special effect pioneer Tom Savini. For reasons that can only presumably be attributed to lack of interest from the studio, he did not get the job, and the rather unknown Ralph Singleton was given the project instead. It's a damn shame, especially considering how tremendous Savini's body of work is, though the Cagney & Lacey veteran (......yep......) and his crew do bring a nice atmosphere to the whole thing. I can only assume that most of the budget was spent to help make some of the sets for the picture look dilapidated and fairly miserable, and a smidge more was used on designing the bloodthirsty and vicious creature that lurks below the mill. When it isn't being fully exposed until the end, it does look appropriately menacing and rather nifty. Those technical aspects do make for a nice bonus, but when you take those away, Graveyard Shift feels kind of hollow, and many other features of the final product feel cheap or unfinished (there's even a stock Wilhelm Scream thrown in towards the middle).


Though I would hesitate to call it a good movie, I can compliment Graveyard Shift by saying that it is quite watchable. It does help that Dourif and Macht are so strangely amusing to watch, and that the blood/gore is fairly good, but those could be about it. I honestly doubt that I will remember much about the overall experience by the end of the month, and that even includes the previously-mentioned standout performances. If you are still curious about adding it to your Stephen King collection, various forms of the DVD can be yours for more money than it is probably worth.



Or better yet, just go buy a second copy of Christine.




Tomorrow, we leave earth and encounter some strange visitors whose experiments could leave us rather traumatized. Lame hint? Sure, but I can see the fire in your eyes when I attempted that joke....

Unseen Terror 2017: Day 10

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Unseen Terror 2017: Day 9

It's the year 2003, and the ultra-powerful corporation known as Chaank Armament are under fire from the press and the public for their controversial project known as "Hard Man," which strengthens mere fighters and soldiers to almost superhuman levels through cybernetic enhancements. Unfortunately, the latest experiment with the procedure has gone awry, with many innocent lives having been lost due to a malfunction by its deranged creator Jack Dante, whom some within the company want to be let go as soon as possible. A large portion of Chaank's employees are fearful that the backlash and negative publicity will cause them to lose several contracts, yet there are those, such as new Chief Executive Hayden Cale, who would actually go to great lengths to see these changes implemented. After a series of events leaves Jack unemployed, the mad architect unleashes a secret invention of his: a towering, murderous monstrosity nicknamed "Warbeast," which is comprised of metal, gnashing teeth, sharpened claws, and pure malevolence.



That plot description for Death Machine, a 1994 cyperpunk/thriller/horror film sure does sound alluring, doesn't it? After all, I can dig the idea of a robotic, hulking piece of metal that is controlled by an egotistical scientist with delusions of grandeur. Plus, as an added bonus, we have the director of Blade sitting in the big chair.....wait, didn't he go on to direct The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen as well? *readjusts note* Ahem. As I've learned over the years, however, a good concept and idea doesn't necessarily guarantee a quality picture. This is all the more true when your script is seriously intent with shoving in as many references and nods to other Science Fiction properties as it possibly can and if you just can't keep up an exciting pace. But more on that later.


Initially, I was not aware that actor Brad Dourif, who is making his second appearance for Unseen Terror this year, was actually the top billed performer for Death Machine. Sure he is playing a villain, but those instances where the bad guy receives a larger screen credit that the rest of his colleagues is a rarity in cinema these days (one that comes to mind for me is Tim Burton's Batman). I certainly was relieved to see his scraggly-haired, smarmy, psychotic hide show up though, because he does the best job that he possibly can to ensure that you don't fall asleep or wander off. It won't go down as one of his more well-known roles, but for purveyors of comically bad over-the-top acting, it's always a delight to see him in even the crappiest of movies. The only other slightly recognizable faces in here are Richard Brake (the lone standout of last year's fairly hideous 31), who desperately needed more screen time than most of his cohorts, and a then-debuting English actress named Rachel Weisz, who at the age of twenty-four, does show signs of her future potential considering that she appears for a grand total of about ten seconds. Disappointingly, most of the main cast just seems far too content on attempting to ape our aforementioned Child's Play alum, and instead come across as trying far too hard to be bad or shaken up.


Thankfully, what isn't bad are the technical aspects of Death Machine. Considering that this wasn't  exactly gifted with a wide release into cinemas, the set designs and special effects are fairly okay. The titular beast looks surprisingly good, resembling sort of an Alien Queen-meets-cybernetic Tyrannosaurus Rex hybrid. It's one of the cooler-looking creations that I've seen pop up on here in quite some time. The film also has a certain mucky, bizarre look to it, giving off the impression that this version of 2003 (or the "Near Future" according to the opening scene) must absolutely stink to live in, as it is overrun with big corporations and a disregard for human life or safety. But those positives could be Death Machine's only non-Dourif aspects worth praising, as it gets stuck in the mud by clinging on to the choice of utilizing "movie worship" a little too much. Don't get me wrong, I can get some amusement by seeing that a trio of activists are named as obvious nods to Aliens and Evil Dead, and Brake's character is named "Scott Ridley," but when you have moments which seem like a direct ripoff from the former motion picture, as well as a showdown between two machines of comically different proportions, you just start wondering why you aren't watching one particular flick from the late 1980s instead or whether Roger Corman was secretly involved in the production. And for Lemmy's sake, you really aren't being subtle whatsoever when one of your executives is named John Carpenter. If you really want to see properties which wear their influences on their sleeves but don't constantly shove it in your face, go watch The Cabin in the Woods or Stranger Things. Worse yet, the moments of silence or inactivity that litter most of the second half (i.e. when Dourif isn't planning to sic his pet on the hapless group) don't really add as much intrigue as they should, which ultimately leaves you feeling a tad bit bored until the Warbeast comes calling.


In the end, there isn't a great amount that's worth salvaging from Death Machine. True, it does sport a solid-looking "monster" and Brad Dourif turns in a wonderfully unhinged performance like usual, but the movie is too reliant on nostalgia and hoping that you won't just choose those other films in the genre that it clearly loves oh so dearly over their one instead. As of now, you can purchase a rather cheap copy of the movie over on Amazon, but that seems to be about it for availability. I have serious doubts that this will ever see even a halfway-decent release on Blu-ray, especially since it's been reported that director Stephen Norrington was rather dissatisfied with the final cut and the flick has undergone several changes on the home video market since then because of it.



Better yet, if you just want to save your hard-earned cash, you can watch the best scene in the movie below.

Tomorrow, my love of horror and professional wrestling clash in one giant, bloody bonanza! But will I get swerved?

Unseen Terror 2017: Day 8

A serial killer is on the loose in Los Angeles, having amassed a large body count in a surprisingly short amount of time. One detective, Lt. Don Parker, is close to discovering the individual's identity, while his foster son Jonathan has reported having strange visions and dreams which could reveal his face and whereabouts as well. When they appear to be getting closer, the killer begins to target, and even slay their loved ones. Eventually, the slasher, whose identity is revealed to be that of a deranged television repairman named Horace Pinker, is captured and sentenced to die in the electric chair. On the night of his execution, something seems to go awry. Yes, the madman doesn't go as quietly and quickly as he should, but what is more shocking is that while his physical body may cease to be, there is a possibility that he has survived and returned from beyond the grave using rather unconventional methods.



Let's not mince words here: Wes Craven, the dearly-departed and sorely missed legendary filmmaker who changed the horror game on more than a few occasions, will go down as arguably one of the top five (if not top three) directors in the genre. Hell, even some of his weaker efforts, though trashed by critics upon release, are still watchable and arguably undeserving of the thrashings that they received during their opening weekends (it can only be called an act of some greater deity that Cursed is still somewhat cohesive considering the hell that it went through). While determining which of his projects I could add to this year's marathon, I was admittedly having quite the difficult time. Then I noticed something rather unusual: I had never sat down to watch Shocker, the final film of his to be released during the 1980s. The likely result would be that either this little ditty would catch me by surprise the same way that his prior film did, or I would find it too boring for my taste like Deadly Blessing was.


Off the bat, you will notice that a large portion of Shocker's plot and overall demeanor is ripped straight from a very notable horror movie that also had Craven's name attached to it. Around this time period, the father of Freddy Krueger was not shy about speaking his mind when it came to the treatment of the Nightmare series (viewing the excellent Never Sleep Again documentary sheds more light on that). Despite writing and producing the third installment in that franchise, the signs were there that future sequels were going to become decidedly more comical, while toning down the genuine terror and uneasy feelings that came about from the initial film. It's understandable to feel that way, but while sitting through Shocker, it almost feels as though he was simultaneously making fun of New Line Cinema's practices while also succumbing to the problems that he was vocal about disliking. Because of it, Shocker's tone is all over the place. The jokes that litter most of its running time feel like leftovers from first drafts of fan-made Nightmare scripts, and the first third feels like it was aiming to be a genuinely chilling thriller with how much seriousness future X-Files standout Mitch Pileggi puts into his performance as Horace Pinker. I'd be very curious to hear about Wes Craven's writing process behind creating the script for this one.


Cast-wise everybody is actually fairly decent (keep your eye out for a Heather Langenkamp cameo), if not flat-out good considering the weird circumstances and picture that they are involved in. Peter Berg, who would go on to direct motion pictures such as Patriots Day and Hancock, makes for a sympathetic and lively protagonist, even if he is a near-carbon copy of Nancy Thompson from ANOES but with an added pair of testicles. He's a jock with a heart of gold and determination that never wanes during the entirety of Shocker, even if his sanity may begin to. I've already briefly touched on Pileggi's portrayal as our psychotic antagonist, so there isn't a great deal more than I can add to this. When he wants to be scary, the man can pull it off better than I expected him to. But when he has to go into slapstick mode, which comprises a large portion of the third act, he just isn't given the strongest of material to work with and lacks the same tongue-in-cheek charm that someone like Robert Englund naturally possesses. He's also a bit of an underwhelming murderer when it comes down to it, as his body count is significantly higher and more impressive when he was a living, breathing human being. Pinker does get a chance to partake in some amusing bits though, including taking control of a little girl and attempting to run Berg's character down with a construction vehicle. There is also an extremely silly addition to the plot of Shocker that begins before the second act kicks in and the overuse of heavy metal songs scattered throughout (Megadeth covering "No More Mr. Nice Guy" is a standout), and depending on your tolerance for absurd twists and technical aspects in horror films, you may find yourself laughing far more than you should. I for one felt as if I were channeling the great Rich Evans during certain scenes.


At the end of the day, Shocker is pretty stupid. But thankfully, it's a better shade of stupid, such as when you sit down to watch pictures like The Room or Pocket Ninjas with a group of friends and bring the finest of beverages with you (be they alcoholic or non). This 1989 flick is absolutely NOT the worst thing that Wes has his name attached to, but I personally wouldn't strongly recommend that you rush out and grab a copy unless you know what you are getting into or want to see the (possibly?) uncredited inspiration for the first segment of "Treehouse of Horror IX." If you would like to take that chance, however, Shout! Factory has released a Blu-ray of the movie for a surprisingly cheap amount of money, and there have been petitions online demanding that an unrated cut be released to the general public at some point during our lifetimes.



And at this point, it's probably got a better chance for an uncensored cut to hit the stores than The Devils does.

Tomorrow, we say hello to Brad Dourif again, but this time, his problems lie in the hands of something less human and more mechanical...

Unseen Terror 2017: Day 7

A young schoolgirl named Gorgeous is ecstatic when her father returns home from his film composing job, as the two had previously made plans for an extravagant summer vacation. Upon his arrival, he introduces his daughter to a woman, who is to become Gorgeous' new stepmom. Upset about the unannounced inclusion of a new person into their family, especially after her biological mother had passed away several years ago, Gorgeous writes a letter to her aunt and asks if she can come to visit for the summer instead. Surprisingly, she receives a positive response back, and rounds up a group of her friends to travel alongside with her. Upon their arrival, they are warmly greeted by Gorgeous' elderly family member, and set out to enjoy their time off. Well, until the students start encountering strange spirits, disappearing, and dying in an unusual manner.

Watching Japan's Hausu (naturally translated as House), a 1977 effort distributed by the oh-so-notable Toho Co. this soon after viewing Brian Yuzna's Society may have been a terrible idea. While the former is nowhere near as disgusting as the American picture released eleven years later, it is just as bizarre, lavish, colorful, and flat-out weird as anything out there. I actually bumped this up from a later number in the movie listings for this year's Unseen Terror solely because they were showing it in a theater not very far from my apartment. Passing up the chance to see what some call the undisputed king of trippy, fucked up Japanese cinema on a large screen would have bothered me for quite some time. But my goodness, I just wasn't prepared for such an experience.


Hausu's strengths lie in its (un)natural ability to show you things that even the darkest and most demented part of your psyche didn't think could actually be filmed. There are several key moments which feel as if you have landed inside the mind of a filmmaker who has made the conscious decision to say "to hell with anything making sense." This decision doesn't necessarily mean that it turns in bad results however. Some creators make that work wonders and it increases the overall memorability and fun factor (pictures such as The Machine Girl or Tetsuo: The Iron Man come to mind). While Hausu doesn't sport nearly the same budget or body modification-based ideas that those have in spades, it is very vibrant and for all we know, the script could have been dipped into a large vat of LSD before filming began. The images and sequences found throughout its eighty-eight minute running time are enough to fill out an entire television series, which makes it all the more impressive that they were able to fit all of them into one motion picture.


Cast-wise, I couldn't honestly tell you much about any actress' background or even much of their character traits. Well, besides Mac, Kung Fu, and Gorgeous, who are renowned for being an excessive eater (like "Big Mac." GET IT?), skilled in martial arts, and for being rather pretty. It doesn't serve that much importance in the end as we all get the feeling that they are just laboratory rats that have wandered into a maze with traps at every single end. The creativity in which people are offed or disappear in Hausu show an early sign of things to come from future entries in the "horror comedy" genre. I don't want to go into spoilers, but when you have a schoolgirl named "Melody" being devoured by a piano during your second act, then you know that you have stepped into a rather twisted, but hilarious world. And no, I did not forget to mention that this movie is quite amusing. Many bits feel like they were lifted from a Looney Tunes cartoon or Three Stooges shorts. If you can not stand humor that seems to gorge upon the absurd and over-the-top, then this flick may not be for you.


Hausu feels less like a movie than it does an experiment. Yes, it succeeds in what it sets out to do, but my goodness. I just can't quite comprehend what I sat through, and it may take quite some time for me to fully digest the entire shebang. In fact, that statement may actually be the strongest compliment that I can give this flick. The plot is simplistic in nature (the whole "friends travel to a haunted house" formula), but insanely wacky in its execution. The imagination and nearly-euphoric feelings that director Nobuhiko Obayashi and his crew manage to conjure are nothing short of mesmerizing, yet dizzyingly peculiar. If you are curious about laying your eyes upon something that you don't see every day, Hausu is available to purchase on DVD and Blu-ray from Criterion (yes, really!), and can be viewed on the streaming service known as Filmstruck.



I'm uncertain about whether either source would be willing to provide you with psychedelics to accompany you during your session though.




Tomorrow, the late, great Wes Craven makes his first appearance for this year's iteration of Unseen Terror, and the results of one particular release could generate some real electricity!