Unseen Terror 2017: Day 11 & 12

Hooray, birthday entry!

And uh, day after the birthday entry too I suppose. Yeah, I admit that it does seem to be a little too early to already be running behind, but hey, when you have a special occasion to celebrate, then perhaps it's excusable. Still, I don't want a repeat of last year, where I have to cram three or four days' worth of viewings into one entry, so let's just cut to the chase and talk about some films, yes? On a similar note, American Made isn't too shabby of a picture, and Tom Cruise is at his best when he's playing a bit of scumbag or sketchy individual.



Oh, right, there are horror movies to tall about.

When compiling this year's listing of movies to watch, I managed to get lucky and gain access to a very good friend's Plex account. It was there that I found nearly every Stephen King adaptation to date, so the options are clearly open for me to pick and choose whatever the heck I could want. But after perusing, I shocked myself with a revelation: I have never seen Christine, the big screen version of his eighth published novel. This was especially surprising considering that it was also directed by horror icon John Carpenter, who I'd place in my personal list of top ten favorite directors, regardless of genre. If ever there were an invitation to finally take a shot and put the flick on, then it was now.

For those unaware of its plot, Christine is about a very socially awkward, dorky young man named Arnold Cunningham. Save for having a best friend in the athletic Dennis, he doesn't seem to have much luck with anything in general, be it a personal or social life. While traveling home one afternoon, the two of them drive by an old house, and suddenly "Arnie" is drawn to a broken down, ragged-looking 1958 Plymouth Fury. The owner of the property agrees to sell the vehicle, nicknamed "Christine," for a relatively meager amount of money. Within no time, Arnie begins taking his car to a repair shop, where his attitude and appearance begin to slowly change. It is during this time that his cohorts begin to do some research, and discover that the previous driver actually killed himself inside Christine. Even stranger is the fact that for as much time Arnie spends with his new purchase, it almost feels as if SHE's growing attached to him herself and acting unnaturally protective.


That concept for Christine is actually eerily similar to previous King works such as Carrie, but rather than psychic powers, this geeky character is instead gifted with the arrival of a four-wheeled machine that could help him exact revenge if there is a need for such a thing. It's also riddled with some of the same clichés as most, if not all of his prior projects (exaggerated bullies for one). Despite those minor critiques, Christine just clicks. Perhaps that can be attributed to the presence of John Carpenter, who shoots it in such a way that our eyes are glued to the screen for about every minute that goes by, as we grow attached to nearly every character throughout the picture. Even in his projects that aren't fully his own, the master behind Halloween and The Thing is still an expert at getting the best out of his cast, with future directors Keith Gordon (Dexter, Waking the Dead) and John Stockwell (Crazy/Beautiful) delivering memorable performances as our two leads. He also contributes an absolutely stellar score in between the old 1950s rock and roll tunes: a staple of his since the beginning that has very rarely changed. It's one of the many things that I truly admire about the man and something that I don't believe he gets enough credit for in the press.

I feel as though I can't add anything to the praise that Christine already gets from most fans of scarier cinema. It's a very entertaining experience that is exceptionally well shot and stylish as all hell (the sequences involving the car repairing itself are quite awesome and will make you want to research as to how it was done). Far more eerie and fun than it has any right to be, it's one of the highlights to the seventh year of Unseen Terror. There are relatively inexpensive releases out there for you to purchase, and once this fan is able to snag himself a better job in the future, the latter's Blu-ray shall be a welcome addition to the fold.

But be careful what you say about my Xbox One when I pop it in. She's pretty sensitive.

For the twelfth day, I figured that since Stephen King helped deliver one of the better pictures that I've seen so far, why not stick to another big screen feature from the most infamous person to emerge from Maine?

I was fully convinced that I had previously watched 1990's Graveyard Shift, a story about textile mill workers who are disappearing because they have a REALLY bad rat (or is it?) problem, until it suddenly occurred to me that I had only ever seen the final ten minutes on what I believe was Cinemax. Naturally my morbid curiosity led to me starting the whole thing up for the first time in 2017. Hey, I do possess some halfway decent memories of the finale, so the rest of the feature has to at least be entertaining. Unfortunately, what I received was something far less satisfying than I expected.


We'll start with the most noteworthy positive: Brad Dourif, once again, is the best aspect of a mediocre movie. In Graveyard Shift, he's playing a very unhinged ex-Vietnam veteran who has taken a serious liking to exterminating pests. His character is just so bizarre and amusing, that it wouldn't surprise you to learn that he may be committing these heinous acts of animal cruelty while being fully erect. Sadly, unlike his tenure in Death Machine, Dourif exits the flick far too early, and when he leaves, it's up to the rest of the cast to keep the film afloat. Perhaps it was due to a weak script or just feeling as if they wouldn't be able to compare to his greatness, but nobody else in particular seemed very interesting or well-developed, and we don't feel connected to or concerned for them during moments of peril. At least The Monster Squad's Steven Macht tries though, but goodness knows I could not quite figure out for the life of me what accent he was trying to lend to his character. My guess was a Latino version of Morgan Freeman who was reading an audiobook while on downers.

One interesting tidbit that I discovered while researching Graveyard Shift was that the original choice for director was legendary makeup/special effect pioneer Tom Savini. For reasons that can only presumably be attributed to lack of interest from the studio, he did not get the job, and the rather unknown Ralph Singleton was given the project instead. It's a damn shame, especially considering how tremendous Savini's body of work is, though the Cagney & Lacey veteran (......yep......) and his crew do bring a nice atmosphere to the whole thing. I can only assume that most of the budget was spent to help make some of the sets for the picture look dilapidated and fairly miserable, and a smidge more was used on designing the bloodthirsty and vicious creature that lurks below the mill. When it isn't being fully exposed until the end, it does look appropriately menacing and rather nifty. Those technical aspects do make for a nice bonus, but when you take those away, Graveyard Shift feels kind of hollow, and many other features of the final product feel cheap or unfinished (there's even a stock Wilhelm Scream thrown in towards the middle).


Though I would hesitate to call it a good movie, I can compliment Graveyard Shift by saying that it is quite watchable. It does help that Dourif and Macht are so strangely amusing to watch, and that the blood/gore is fairly good, but those could be about it. I honestly doubt that I will remember much about the overall experience by the end of the month, and that even includes the previously-mentioned standout performances. If you are still curious about adding it to your Stephen King collection, various forms of the DVD can be yours for more money than it is probably worth.



Or better yet, just go buy a second copy of Christine.




Tomorrow, we leave earth and encounter some strange visitors whose experiments could leave us rather traumatized. Lame hint? Sure, but I can see the fire in your eyes when I attempted that joke....