The year is 1851. Having been ousted from their hostel due to a minor dispute over money, the infamous Elvira and her servant Zou Zou are left without any means of transport in which to travel to Paris, France for a rather fun can-can dance. They don't have to wait long, however, when the elegant and slightly mysterious Dr. Bradley arrives in a stage coach, and he brings the women to a castle in the mountains that is stationed far above from where they were initially staying. After making themselves acquainted with the residents and inhabitants, they meet the owner of the estate, who swears that our busty protagonist seems to resemble his long-deceased wife, and this case of a possibly mistaken identity leads to a series of strange, unexpected events that may span many years.
I remember virtually nothing about my viewing of Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark. Heck, I don't even recall what I said in the review, be it positive or negative, and this was only four years ago! Much to my surprise, I discovered that the most buxom icon in all of horror did in fact have another feature length film to her name, although unlike its predecessor, this one went straight to the home video market instead of the theatrical circuit. Perhaps the possibility exists that audiences of the early 2000s had forgotten who Cassandra Peterson's horror hostess even was.
Then again, given how incredibly stupid and silly Elvira's Haunted Hills is, the demand could have died down just as quickly as it had started anew. I'll give Peterson (who also cowrote the picture) credit for knowing her audience though: they set to make Hills as blatantly and obviously cheesy as they could with the budget that came out of her own pocket. Yes, you read that right. Given that the woman herself thought that a new Elvira production would never be financed, she threw in a million dollars out of her bank account, ensuring that her fans would somehow see a new flick, no matter how or when. That is certainly admirable, and a great sign of a human being who loves and respects the people that helped make them famous in the first place. It also says a lot about Peterson when she's willing to write and participate in a gag where she eats out of a chamber pot....okay, I probably shouldn't have brought that up. Let's move on, shall we?
There are quite a few moments of intentional nonsense that work well to please older fans of horror. My personal favorite came from her infatuation with the castle's stable boy Adrian, portrayed (though not voiced) by Gabriel Andronache. Keeping with the ties and tributes to pictures that Peterson herself no doubt grew up watching, his entire dialogue is dubbed over by noted voiceover artist Rob Paulsen (Pinky and The Brain, Rick and Morty), who himself understands a fanbase perfectly, and can fit in to nearly every situation and scenario provided for him. If that doesn't sound even slightly amusing to you, I would recommend that you watch more older pieces of cinema in order to fully grip this homage. If I can be quite blunt, the over-the-top campiness of every performance in the picture seems to be deliberate, and that could either make or break a majority of your final opinion on the film as a while.
Me though? Well, I did appreciate the obvious nods to assorted projects from throughout the 1960s, which only encompassed a small fraction of the types of pictures that the madam became popular for riffing and commentating on. I also giggled at the occasional moment whenever Elvira herself would break the fourth wall. Plus, for a woman who was nearly fifty years old at the time (and is fourteen years older at the time of this review), Peterson still has some wily, quirky, and amusing perks that have definitely earned her a spot in the hearts of many oddball men and women who attend the convention circuit on a regular basis. But is Elvira's Haunted Hills a good movie? Well, no. Not at all. And yet, as somewhat hypocritical as this may sound, its mediocrity that borders on flat-out embarrassment keeps it afloat and watchable for most of the ninety minute running time. If you're up to spending a meager two dollars (I'll beat you to posting THIS clip), you can stream it over on Amazon Prime, or purchase it online for only a few more additional bucks. Just be aware of what you're getting into, since those with less patience may find themselves pulling out their hair.
But if that's getting you down, just stare at her chest and try to cheer up. As I stated above, she knows her audience and doesn't seem to mind.
Tomorrow, the late, great Wes Craven makes his first appearance on this year's iteration of Unseen Terror. Well, sort of....
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