Unseen Terror 2015: Day 11

Alright, I did fall behind just a tad, though only in terms of publishing my final drafts of these reviews. It's been a fairly busy weekend, filled with birthday shenanigans and whatnot. Eh, let's move on though.

As a young child, Gregory Tudor witnesses his local ice cream truck driver being mowed down by mobsters. Many years later, the young man has grown up, having been released from a mental asylum in which he spent the remainder of his youth. In an ironic, yet fitting twist, the former patient takes up the position of the local ice cream man, perusing the neighborhood while handing out tasty treats to multiple, occasionally bratty children. What lies in the back of the truck, however, are some nasty demons that just won't leave poor Gregory alone, leading many of his patrons curious as to why he always seems to be acting so unusual.



Remember when I brought up actor Clint Howard in Day 9's posting? Well, only two years after he became infested with ticks (hehe), he was brought on board to head the cast of a strange little horror-comedy known only as Ice Cream Man, directed by a man whose previous film work came from the classy, charming land of pornographic entertainment. If one were to judge a book/movie by its cover, you'd come to the conclusion that something as absurd-looking as this film's VHS cover art is a sign of the lowest quality possible, coupled with the occasional gross-out scene to help satisfy the horror hounds out there.


Good readers, you would be only partially correct with your final thoughts. This is probably stating the obvious, but Ice Cream Man isn't exactly the finest type of cinematic entertainment out there. And yet, as I shall explain in the best amount of details that I can, it's very endearing for connoisseurs of the often derided "so bad, it's good" category. For starters, Mr. Howard is in rather fine form for a movie about a demented ice cream truck driver. Sure, he's treating it like the B-movie that it is, but from what I gathered, he actually did prepare for his role by yelling and screaming in his car every day, just so he could attempt to perfect a more gravelly, menacing voice for Gregory. Of course, everything else outside of his voice most likely didn't need any work since, well, just look at him. I'm aware that while I previously stated that his entire acting career's purpose past a particular time period was to die on screen, I believe a retraction is in order: his entire purpose is to look like an extremely odd human being, thus being cast as your resident redneck, freak, or societal outcast whenever a part needs to be filled and/or whenever a larger budget isn't at your disposal.


What Ice Cream Man may lack in surprise when it comes to its titular character, it took me back with its supporting cast that was flashed during the opening credits. There is no logical explanation for why Olivia Hussey (Romeo & Juliet, It, Black Christmas), David Warner (Waxwork, Batman: The Animated Series), David Naughton (An American Werewolf In London), and Sandahl Bergman (Conan The Barbarian) show up for more than just cameos. On a more hilarious note, the former two seem to be regarding this as if it were more than just a random bargain bin find, while the latter may have finally found something more embarrassing on her record than Red Sonja. Speaking of the incredibly awkward, I kept scratching my head at all of the peculiar zoom shots and closeups of every person's shoes, even during scenes of peril and mayhem. Much to my amazement, it turns out that Converse (yes, THAT Converse) sponsored Ice Cream Man, therefore every single member of its cast must have been required to flaunt the newest designs from their financial supporters. As amused as I was by the sheer silliness of the entire project, one can't help but feel that this is truly, utterly shameless, and you'll begin to lose count with how many times they focus on the apparel.


Mercifully, with the final fifteen minutes turning into what can only be described as the ultimate form of "Screw it" mode, Ice Cream Man is a stupid, yet shockingly fun trip into the realm of straight-to-video nonsense that most of us should be used to by now (though it seems as if that may have evolved into random rentals from your local Redbox kiosk). Currently, the Clint Howard-led vehicle is out of print on home video as a standalone feature, though copies of it can be purchased on DVD collections alongside other craptacular flicks like Jack Frost 2 (which does NOT warrant a review). It does sadden me to hear that there was a petition and campaign through kickstarter to have a sequel financed and released, but as of October 2015, it seems to be dead in the water. Perhaps this oddity will most likely stay relegated to the land of sites such as Youtube.



Tomorrow, we have this year's first foray into the realm of killer doll movies, but Chucky isn't allowed to play this time....