Unseen Terror 2015: Day 2.5

No, that headliner is not a grammatical or numerical mistake. During this year's blog-o-thon, my free time and schedule in which I work around to watch these films that I've selected is going to be very erratic. Therefore, my sleeping schedule will sometimes affect my ability to actually post full reviews for every single picture that I finish. So, before I post my final draft for something such as, say, The Monster Squad (shit, there goes my spoiler for tonight's entry), I'll be publishing the occasional quick summary of my thoughts for something that I may have either forgotten to talk about or was just too lethargic to muster up a review for before bedtime.


Anyways, enough of all that. Here's (to once again quote a favorite podcast of mine) a Brucie Bonus flick for you folks!

For eight days, the earth passes through the tail of a comet. During this time, assorted inanimate objects begin to come to life, harming and maiming anyone foolish enough to get close to them. Drawbridges raise during traffic, steamrollers run over children after a little league game, and various monster trucks spring to life without a driver behind the wheel. Chaos ensues, and a small band of southerners find themselves trapped in a truck stop at the mercy of a gaggle of tractor trailers and large vehicles, unsure of how to escape from this nightmare.



When you think of motion pictures filmed or set in the Wilmington and Cape Fear areas of North Carolina, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

Nope, sorry.

Nice try, but you're clearly incorrect.

...............why would you even?.........



Anyways, the answer is obviously 1986's Maximum Overdrive, a film that for fellow Wilmingtonians, is either something that they've viewed far too many times in their youth, or even better, have starred in. It is infamous for following an absurdly stupid concept from an author who, despite many great works of the past, has been known to dabble in the realm of idiocy from time to time. The man in question is horror legend Stephen King, who not only wrote the script for this one, but also sat down in the director's chair in what turned out to be his one and only time before most likely realizing that this was not for him.


When I'm concocting my reviews for Unseen Terror, I tend to write crude notes and collect random facts during the project's running time, in the hopes that it will help me to the best of my ability. When I wasn't being blown away for the sheer awfulness of Maximum Overdrive, I was penning the following:


-Stephen King was apparently coked out of his mind during the entire filming experience (this is made all the more apparent when you consider how frequently plot holes pop up for its entire ninety seven minute running time).
-He cameos as a disgruntled man at an ATM, wherein said device calls him an "asshole" repeatedly. Probably not too far from the truth if you were one of the unfortunate souls working on the production.
-There's Lisa Simpson's voice actor! Oh god, in comparison to being the genius of that family, she's making the cartoon character seem so much more likable and less whiney.


Mind you, I didn't even need to make a note on how drastically different the acting is from every single performer cast by Mary Colquhoun. Thankfully, Emilio Estevez (The Breakfast Club, The Mighty Ducks) has done worse than this (I think), but he's the least of this flick's problems. Everyone else is either overacting or underperforming, with no middle ground whatsoever. It may seem unfair to place the blame on King himself for this, but this was HIS project, wherein he maintained complete control over the piece and had to be the one to make the decision to have Ellen McElduff repeatedly scream "WE MADE YOU!" at tractor trailers.


If Stephen King had set out to make an entertaining, schlocky B-movie extravaganza with classic hard rock/metal band AC/DC serving as its entire soundtrack (yes, I am 100% serious), then he succeeded. If he made this in earnest, with his intentions being to terrify audiences and moviegoers, then he failed on a level that makes you wonder what kind of miracle occurred that didn't result in his career being completely ruined. Still, if you know the right people and have the right amount of booze nearby, Maximum Overdrive can provide you with a good amount of unintended laughs and cheap kills to satiate you for at least a short amount of time.


And if you also know the right people, you can ask about all of the assorted accidents that occurred on set, one of which was prevented from being fatal by the father of my band's bassist.


Don't believe me? Well, go search for @Dresdenbombing on twitter and challenge his claim. You will lose.


Come back later today for....well, The Monster Squad. No use beating around the bush or trying to hide it....