On one Christmas Eve, eager and enthusiastic children Harry and Philip Stadling are awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus. Hearing strange noises, Harry peeks out into the living room, only to see his mother being groped and seduced by a man dressed as jolly old St. Nick. Thirty three years later, the now-older Harry works a rather monotonous job for a toy factory, often finding himself to be easily taken advantage of by coworkers. After an office party, Harry comes to the realization that nobody takes this holiday seriously anymore and there are more bad people out there in the world than there needs to be. With that, he dons a Santa suit, setting out to reward the nice and punish the naughty.
The very small sub-genre in horror that consists of movies based around the holidays of Christmas and/or Christmas Eve is, to put it lightly, incredibly miniscule. There are the ones that most people know about, such as Black Christmas (both the original and the remake), Silent Night, Deadly Night, and Santa's Slay. Okay, maybe I'm the only human being in this town who is an unabashed fan of that last one, but 1980's Christmas Evil, known originally as You Better Watch Out, has quite a following in this odd community that relishes the chance to watch something this absurd. Not quite a slasher film, but often grouped in with them, it makes for one hell of an interesting, if not obviously dumb viewing experience.
Christmas Evil's main protagonist/antagonist is one Brandon Maggart, who is best known for a very early stint on Sesame Street and for helping give birth to Ms. Fiona Apple. Though he certainly isn't delivering an Academy Award-worthy performance with his portrayal of the disgruntled and marginally psychotic Harry, he does manage to make the man into somewhat of a sympathetic, and slightly fun individual. I mean yes, we all know that there are a lot of scumbags and dishonest human beings out there in this occasionally ugly world that we live in, but they highlight it in such a manner than you wonder if this is going to turn into Death Wish or Taxi Driver, albeit with a red and white costume and beard instead of stylish apparel. Unfortunately, I can't recall much of anything about the rest of the cast, including Jeff DeMunn's (The Walking Dead) character of the younger brother who may be catching on to his sibling's recent exploits and actions. Fans of the actor are not likely going to recognize him, and they also may be disappointed that the bloodshed advertised on assorted posters and covers doesn't begin until about the fifty two minute mark. Don't get me wrong, I liked that they were willing to let the audience familiarize themselves with Harry, and not choose to make him just another generic killer, but the first murder does seem to be a tad bit out of place, and somewhat badly thought out.
Director John Waters (Pink Flamingos, Hairspray) has been quoted as saying that Christmas Evil is "the greatest Christmas movie ever made," and has apparently gone so far as to provide a commentary track for the Synapse Films' release of the picture on DVD. While I don't know if I would go that far, especially since I would love to watch more holiday-horror pictures in the future (perhaps that could be a theme for December), it does make for a fairly trashy, hokey, and fun time, with an added bonus of the most film absurd picture ending that I've seen to date on this marathon. You can currently watch this little gem on sites such as Youtube for the low cost of zero dollars and zero cents. Or, if you are a more patient person, you can wait for the upcoming Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack that is set for home video release on November 18, 2014.
Perhaps there is a chance that on the aforementioned release, they can explain as to whether the film was an influence on another certain crazed version of Kris Kringle.
On the roads of Snowmonton, demented serial killer Jack Frost is on his way in a prison transport which will deservedly drive him to his area of execution. Seemingly out of nowhere, and mostly thanks to horrible weather, the truck containing the mad man hits a tanker, and Jack is freed. Before he can act, however, the genetic material contained in the opposing vehicle breaks free, drenching him in the liquid and dissolving him into nothingness. Unfortunately, Frost does not die, but rather merges with the surrounding snow, changing him into something more frightening than anyone could have ever imagined.
If you're a child of the 1980s and 1990s like I am, there was a very strong possibility that you came across many VHS tapes that featured lenticular covers. With only the slightest bit of movement, something rather nice, gentle, and/or unassuming would change into something more menacing or unpleasant, and would usually entice curious folks such as myself into checking them out. 1997's horror-comedy Jack Frost (obviously of no relation to the picture of the same name released a year later) was one of the more notoriously wacky titles equipped with this advertising method, which started with a gentle-looking snowman turning into what you see above. The main problem is that we never see that creature atop this paragraph, but something far, far worse.
Instead, what we get is a reasonably basic low-budget slasher picture with an awful-looking snowman costume that is dumping all of its cheese into one giant pit, and then makes the risky decision to dive in headfirst. But this cheese is more like the brand that you buy because it's been discounted, and said discount was due to bad feedback. But hey, I personally don't really know why I was expecting quality per se. A large majority of the cast, including a pre-American Pie Shannon Elizabeth, are in "eh, fuck it" mode, but you can't say that you blame them when you consider how dreadful of script that this has as its base. Speaking of Elizabeth, she should be thrilled that the role of Nadia came to her two years after this had wrapped and been released on home video, since I'm sure that she didn't want the highlight on her acting reel to read "I have been assaulted and raped in a bathtub by a cigar-smoking snow sculpture." Speaking of the titular killer, Scott MacDonald's enactment of Jack Nicholson having a Ritalin and Tequila-fed child with Brad Dourif did provide for some occasionally funny lines. Sadly, for every joke that is mildly amusing, there are about ten that just make you groan or grimace. It's like following most comedians that were made famous through Twitter.
There are some positives to Jack Frost though. For one, the murder sequences are somewhat creative, including using the flat end of an axe to kill a grown man rather than the sharpened, metal head. Plus the site of a snowman driving a car into someone is worth at least a quick glance. For nostalgic reasons, I also enjoyed the 90s home video look and wash that it was filmed with. Everything has a slight grain, and the lighting looks like something that would have (and very well may have been) aired on cable channels like Cinemax late at night. There is also some decent practical effects work and makeup to be seen, especially when Jack's human form initially melts after the accident mutates him. But damn, that snowman costume looks really, really lackluster. I'm willing to bet that even a company such as Charles Band's Full Moon Features could have done a better job at making this look acceptable. Of course, they would also most likely abused it like their Puppet Master and Gingerdead Man franchises, and I'd prefer to not see a crossover in the future with either of those series.
So, that's about all that I can say about something like Jack Frost. It isn't very good, and I don't think that you could find much to enjoy unless you are severely inebriated and surrounded by cretins, particularly since it starts to run out of gas past the sixty minute mark (which is coincidentally after Elizabeth's final scene comes to a close). But hell, what do you expect from a movie about a killer snowman?
It is an infinitely better movie than its sequel though. After all, they kill him with bananas in that one.
…….Bananas…….
Tomorrow, I travel back to my childhood again with a 1950s Toho Production: Sora No Daikaiju Radon!
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