Struggling amateur photographer Leon Kaufman can't seem to catch a break with his job. His contractor feels that the shots he provides just aren't particularly captivating, insisting that Leon take more risks in order to capture the true feel and soul of the "The Big Apple." One evening, he saves a gorgeous woman from a gang assault, but the following morning, she is reported to be missing. Curious as to what has happened, Leon investigates, but comes across something much more horrific than he suspected: a serial killer who dwells in the New York Subway System, butchering his victims like cattle in the evening, but seemingly disappearing during the day.
The Midnight Meat Train is the first, and possibly only movie that I've had to contemplate throwing away during my first viewing. Mind you, it has nothing to do with the actual quality of the picture itself, but because of the now defunct Blockbuster Video selling me a DVD with unfixable scratches, thus rendering my copy nearly useless after the sixty six minute mark had approached. Thank goodness for internet streaming sites though, since Amazon Prime had this sucker available for rental, and only for $2.99 at that. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be reviewing the movie, aren't I? Sorry about that.
Someone like myself tends to feel very hit-or-miss when it comes to Clive Barker adaptations these days. For every Hellraiser and Candyman that we've been blessed with in the past, we get something like Book Of Blood in return. I was aware of The Midnight Meat Train's existence, but for assorted reasons, I was never quite able to get around to watching it until six years after its initial release. Again, for assorted reasons, I wish that I had not waited to do so, since this is a fairly fun, if not moderately bleak (oh so shocking for a story by Clive Barker) work that is capably directed and shockingly gory. Well, at least by "bigger" horror movie standards.
Surprising me from the get-go was the recognizable cast. I knew all too well about Vinnie Jones playing the silent, mostly emotionless antagonist, but I didn't expect Bradley Cooper and Leslie Bibb to show up as members of the cast, with the former in the lead role as freelance Leon. Considering that this was filmed only a mere year before The Hangover exploded in popularity, thus ensuring that Cooper would likely never have to do a horror movie again, he looks much younger, but still shows off his acting chops rather well. The aforementioned Jones is pretty god damn good too, which may be due in part to him not having to utter a single line throughout most of the flick's running time. Some might say he was a little too good as Mahogany, but as long as it keeps him away from uttering lines like THIS in the future, then I'm absolutely 100% in favor of it. There's also bit parts from the likes of Ted Raimi (brother to Sam Raimi of Evil Dead fame and bit player in Xena: Warrior Princess), whose own demise on the train along with his two colleagues was one of the more brutal sequences I've seen so far on this year's blog, and MMA veteran Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, whose own segment is amusing enough to post below.
The technical side of the picture is nothing to scoff at either. Director Ryuhei Kitamura (Versus, Godzilla: Final Wars) is no slouch when it comes to taking a project that has the potential to fail and turning it around into something that is at least visually interesting to glance at. There's a certain dark glossiness to the film that makes you feel like you're in a very somber, unpleasant city where enjoyment of basic activities is sparse unless you're willing to sell yourself a little short and partake in some work that is beneath you. This almost crosses over into the territory of a "festival" movie though, and the decision to use computer-generated blood and gore for a good chunk of its bloodshed and manslaughter is a real disappointment. I feel like I've ranted about this way too many times already, but if you're already this involved and this passionate about a project like The Midnight Meat Train, would it have hurt you to spend a tad bit more on getting fake blood provided by practical effects companies? Heck, they aren't hard to come by, even in this day and age. It could have been worse though. Patrick Tatopoulos, who is most well known for being a collaborator of standout bellends such as Paul W.S. Anderson and Rolland Emmerich, was originally attached to direct this. *shudder*
With its final ten minutes, I could definitely see The Midnight Meat Train's conclusion (and to an extent, its epilogue), which shows a slight nod to the likes of H.P. Lovecraft, dividing a lot of viewers, leaving them firmly in either the "love it" or "loathe it" camp. Oddly enough, I think that it was all too fitting of a storyteller like Clive Barker to wrap it up the way that he did. Unlike some of his more infamous stories, I don't necessarily think that I would qualify this one as particularly frightening, nor would I place it in the category of his earlier works mentioned in the second paragraph above. However, it is worth a watch or two based on the fact that it never really bores you, keeping your attention on a fairly frequent basis due to its intriguing pursuit and researching of the villain, and of course, because of the gruesome murder scenes.
It might not be advisable to watch if you're a vegan though. Or even worse, it may turn you off of meat forever.
I kid of course. Maybe.
Tomorrow, we're going to keep on hacking and slashing, as we look at two different 1980s pictures in Pieces and Driller Killer!
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