Unseen Terror 2014: Day 4

In a small New England town called North Port, a new, if not common problem has arisen: a rather sizable infestation of cockroaches has become more visible to the public eye. While this issue is being dealt with, various pets begin to disappear around the area, or worse, are found stripped down to their bones. Not long afterwards, people begin to vanish or turn up mangled as well. The town sheriff, along with his ex-girlfriend, an exterminator, and a small bastion of others, discover that the culprits may be much tinier  in stature than expected. Perhaps they should turn to their own Mayor Johnson, and the mysterious new scientist that has come to visit him, for answers relating to what exactly is occurring.

The opening to 1988's The Nest features our hero, the impossibly good-natured and accessible Hero McWhite Guy, drinking his coffee before he realizes that a cockroach is swimming in it. Naturally, this prompts him to spit it out and become quite upset. You too, may also gag out of sheer disgust and over the thought of it potentially happening on one random morning. If that doesn't set the tone for the rest of the picture and give you a hint about what you're in for, then I don't know what else does.

I was legitimately surprised to find that this creature feature, produced by Julie Corman and distributed by her infamous, but talented husband Roger, was released during the latter half of the 1980s. It has the feel and look of something that would have found its way into theaters during the big Jaws knockoffs period of the prior decade, which gave us some real gems (Piranha, Orca) and some pretty dreadful exercises in filmmaking (Tintorera, Barracuda). It even has a few of the ragtag misfits found in some of the former pictures, including a shady mayor who is concerned about the influx (or possible lack thereof) of tourists in his quiet community. Surrounding these old familiar stereotypes is the female sketchy scientist, who explains that these roaches, who have suddenly developed an interest in devouring human flesh quicker than a piranha ever could (ten dollars says that this will become a crossover within the next two years), were initially created in order to eliminate the common cockroach. Why the burning hatred you say? Well, despite them being a necessary evil and helping eat away dead matter, they're just plain gross and annoying.

Wait a minute...excuse me?

…alright. That…is the DUMBEST explanation that I've ever heard a person of any expertise give, even by "mad scientist" standards. There are a plethora of creatures that we human beings can not stand for the life of us, but there is always a purpose for existing, no matter the species or subspecies. The logic behind that motive is just nonexistent, but when you consider that the writer for this would help develop Cutthroat Island's screenplay, and that director Terence Winkless would spend most of his post-The Nest career directing select episodes of assorted live-action superhero programs, it shouldn't shock you that much. Despite all of that idiocy, the movie decides to also throw in a romance triangle between our hero, the local town diner waitress, and his ex-girlfriend, who has returned to North Port just in time for bug-hunting season. This entire subplot doesn't really amount to anything, as it really just serves as a quick breather or three in between cockroach-based murders and swarms. And speaking of the pesky, well, pests, there are quite a lot featured in The Nest. To call this the anti-Joe's Apartment would be an understatement. Katsaridaphobics (it's a real word, I swear!) will want to stay far away, especially when the vermin begin to develop their taste for human beings, and attack in any way or orifice that they choose to. They may revel in certain sequences involving mass roach genocide, though I certainly hope that most of the "main cast" didn't consist of real insects. My personal dislike of cockroaches aside, I don't like onscreen animal cruelty of any sort.

The Nest revels in ridiculousness, and it gets to be downright stupid by the time of the final act, which borrows way too much from the remakes of The Fly and The Thing. In spite of all of that, barring an intense fear of anything with six or eight legs, I actually would be willing to suggest that you give this one a watch. The film never really lulls, the performances are fine, and there's some pretty solid gore to keep your attention (I've been told that the uncensored cut pushes the limits of the 'R' rating, as does the novel it's based on). Plus it features the first, and possibly only cat-roach hybrid seen on the big screen.

And no, I am NOT going to research that. It's too much work. Besides, I still feel a little creeped out.

Tomorrow, Roger Corman takes a breather, and lets Lloyd Kaufman take over, as I look at Class Of Nuke 'Em High!