Unseen Terror 2015: Day 24

A young girl runs crying from an abandoned slaughterhouse, having been the recipient of a lengthy series of beatings and thrashings by unknown captors with no specific motives. The child is known as Lucie, and following her escape, she is placed in an orphanage alongside other victims of abuse. Within a short period of time, Lucie is quickly befriended by Anna, another female with whom she eventually falls in love with. Fifteen years pass, and though the women have long since departed from their childhood grounds, Lucie is still tormented by the visions of a disfigured, beaten down creature that she believes will one day kill her. Still, the two band together, tracking down and hoping to exact vengeance on those who harmed Lucie during her youth. What follows, however, is a journey into madness unlike any that a single, breathing human being has ever witnessed.



Yet again, I must confess that I am cheating with an entry on this year's listing for Unseen Terror. Around the time that I first signed up for Netflix's delivery service, I gave into the hype and added France's highly-acclaimed horror picture Martyrs, which most credit as being the arc de triomphe for what critics have dubbed the "New French Extremity." Though a lot of non-horror publications were split down the middle in terms of what they thought of the finished product, it garnered much acclaim from magazines and websites across the world that specialized in covering all things terrifying.


Me? Well, I thought it stank.


Before you jump down my throat, I must reminder you: this was in 2008, and there is a very good possibility that I may have been watching Martyrs while I was in a rather lousy mood. True, there is no proper temperament necessary for something that will be likely tagged as an art picture meets a graphic, hard-to-digest scary movie, but it may explain for why I was willing to go back and revisit something that is surprisingly more challenging to find now than it was during the height of its popularity. Hell, I've even stated that I'll be glad to do this again one day with assorted pictures that were deemed classics by the community, but negatively reviewed by this beardo weirdo, including The Town That Dreaded Sundown and The Lost Boys. And no, I will not be reviewing the sequels to the latter. Even I have my limits folks.


Since I do feel like cutting to the chase once in a while, it seems preposterous that I was dismissive of Martyrs after my first glance all of those years ago, because the movie is so god damn intense that I feel as if those who are looking for originality in this often-maligned genre should have to look no further. For every opportunity that one thinks the flick will sink into a pit of cliches, it twists it into a different form and created multiple moments of legitimate discomfort for even a relatively hard-nosed person like myself. Director Pascal Laugier seems to understand that since the inception of these pictures, their first intent was to frighten the viewer, but still leave you fascinated by the experience that you just went through. It came as no surprise that the Frenchman was actually signed on to head a remake of Clive Barker's Hellraiser, though he was purportedly taken off of the project for essentially trying to make it into, ironically enough, a Hellraiser movie. No matter what your opinion of the man or his projects are, I believe that having to live with the facts that the final theatrical release came from an Alan Smithee film and that the last two entries to bear that franchise's name revolve a computer game and Pinhead not being portrayed by Doug Bradley are crimes of the worst kind.


Now, the notion that Martyrs will revel in the excess or misery is difficult to argue, but without spoiling too much, it does intend to serve as a greater purpose to individuals that are introduced slightly before the first sixty minutes have passed. This gaggle of people also (possibly intentionally) cause the flick to remove most of its spoken dialogue for a large chunk of its final act. While some could complain about losing interest by being bombarded with nothing but grunts and other horrific sounds, I felt as if it just kept you guessing about what was to ultimately come towards the end. Something that I forgot about being so underrated was Martyrs' makeup. The two gentlemen in charge produced some top notch material, with each of our heroines (if you can even dub them as such) wearing the scars of a torturous past that is far from easy to forgive and forget. Morjana Alaoui's Anna does strike you as a somewhat innocent, but deeply flawed human being that is undeterred in her decisions to do what she does, no matter who it is for or who it is to. Lucie, played by the striking Mylene Jampanoi, just has that distinctive face and aura that is very difficult to replicate in any modern day horror picture. It is a crying shame that she doesn't seem to have any interest in taking any roles in American or Hollywood cinema, because I think that there exists a strong possibility of her breaking out in the same way that Marion Cotillard (Inception, The Dark Knight Rises) did. Mind you, the latter most likely never had to beat another woman to death for the sake of revenge, and if she did, then I've been clearly misinformed. Of course, the scenes of graphic violence and visuals are what will most likely draw cinephiles to Martyrs, but if you're expecting that sort of "campy" treatment that you'd get from Dead Alive or Return Of The Living Dead, then you are in for a very, VERY rude awakening. I'd liken some of these to segments to the drug use from Darren Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream, since there is a chance you'll utter the words "well, I don't think I want to look at that again."


When it comes to particular pictures of yesteryear, I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong. Though I still do think that it is a tiny bit overrated, Martyrs is one of the pieces of cinematic terror that is sorely needed in this day and age (even if it is seven years old by the time of this review). There is a good chance that you may only be able to stomach one viewing of the film, and I can't deny that its pure sadism and unsettling third act will put off many a viewer. What can not be refuted is that whether you enjoy it or loathe it, Martyrs will stick with you long after the credits have finished, and sometimes, that could indeed be the sign of a truly unique piece of art. As described above, should you get lucky and stumble across a copy at an independent video or record store, Martyrs is sadly difficult to obtain for the average shopper. You can, however, stream it for $2.99 on Amazon Prime and purchase a Region 2 Blu-Ray for a decently cheap amount of money. There is also a remake from Blumhouse Productions that is fully wrapped up and ready for a theatrical release sometime in the near future. Personally, I'm perplexed as to not why, but how they would choose to reinvent this for American audiences, but perhaps when it drops, I'll be there to judge it for myself.



Tomorrow, we travel North to pay the Britains (who are the Britains?) a visit, but could potentially get lost in a time loop on the way there.

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 16

Struggling amateur photographer Leon Kaufman can't seem to catch a break with his job. His contractor feels that the shots he provides just aren't particularly captivating, insisting that Leon take more risks in order to capture the true feel and soul of the "The Big Apple." One evening, he saves a gorgeous woman from a gang assault, but the following morning, she is reported to be missing. Curious as to what has happened, Leon investigates, but comes across something much more horrific than he suspected: a serial killer who dwells in the New York Subway System, butchering his victims like cattle in the evening, but seemingly disappearing during the day.


The Midnight Meat Train is the first, and possibly only movie that I've had to contemplate throwing away during my first viewing. Mind you, it has nothing to do with the actual quality of the picture itself, but because of the now defunct Blockbuster Video selling me a DVD with unfixable scratches, thus rendering my copy nearly useless after the sixty six minute mark had approached. Thank goodness for internet streaming sites though, since Amazon Prime had this sucker available for rental, and only for $2.99 at that. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be reviewing the movie, aren't I? Sorry about that.


Someone like myself tends to feel very hit-or-miss when it comes to Clive Barker adaptations these days. For every Hellraiser and Candyman that we've been blessed with in the past, we get something like Book Of Blood in return. I was aware of The Midnight Meat Train's existence, but for assorted reasons, I was never quite able to get around to watching it until six years after its initial release. Again, for assorted reasons, I wish that I had not waited to do so, since this is a fairly fun, if not moderately bleak (oh so shocking for a story by Clive Barker) work that is capably directed and shockingly gory. Well, at least by "bigger" horror movie standards.


Surprising me from the get-go was the recognizable cast. I knew all too well about Vinnie Jones playing the silent, mostly emotionless antagonist, but I didn't expect Bradley Cooper and Leslie Bibb to show up as members of the cast, with the former in the lead role as freelance Leon. Considering that this was filmed only a mere year before The Hangover exploded in popularity, thus ensuring that Cooper would likely never have to do a horror movie again, he looks much younger, but still shows off his acting chops rather well. The aforementioned Jones is pretty god damn good too, which may be due in part to him not having to utter a single line throughout most of the flick's running time. Some might say he was a little too good as Mahogany, but as long as it keeps him away from uttering lines like THIS in the future, then I'm absolutely 100% in favor of it. There's also bit parts from the likes of Ted Raimi (brother to Sam Raimi of Evil Dead fame and bit player in Xena: Warrior Princess), whose own demise on the train along with his two colleagues was one of the more brutal sequences I've seen so far on this year's blog, and MMA veteran Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, whose own segment is amusing enough to post below.

The technical side of the picture is nothing to scoff at either. Director Ryuhei Kitamura (Versus, Godzilla: Final Wars) is no slouch when it comes to taking a project that has the potential to fail and turning it around into something that is at least visually interesting to glance at. There's a certain dark glossiness to the film that makes you feel like you're in a very somber, unpleasant city where enjoyment of basic activities is sparse unless you're willing to sell yourself a little short and partake in some work that is beneath you. This almost crosses over into the territory of a "festival" movie though, and the decision to use computer-generated blood and gore for a good chunk of its bloodshed and manslaughter is a real disappointment. I feel like I've ranted about this way too many times already, but if you're already this involved and this passionate about a project like The Midnight Meat Train, would it have hurt you to spend a tad bit more on getting fake blood provided by practical effects companies? Heck, they aren't hard to come by, even in this day and age. It could have been worse though. Patrick Tatopoulos, who is most well known for being a collaborator of standout bellends such as Paul W.S. Anderson and Rolland Emmerich, was originally attached to direct this. *shudder*


With its final ten minutes, I could definitely see The Midnight Meat Train's conclusion (and to an extent, its epilogue), which shows a slight nod to the likes of H.P. Lovecraft, dividing a lot of viewers, leaving them firmly in either the "love it" or "loathe it" camp. Oddly enough, I think that it was all too fitting of a storyteller like Clive Barker to wrap it up the way that he did. Unlike some of his more infamous stories, I don't necessarily think that I would qualify this one as particularly frightening, nor would I place it in the category of his earlier works mentioned in the second paragraph above. However, it is worth a watch or two based on the fact that it never really bores you, keeping your attention on a fairly frequent basis due to its intriguing pursuit and researching of the villain, and of course, because of the gruesome murder scenes.



It might not be advisable to watch if you're a vegan though. Or even worse, it may turn you off of meat forever.



I kid of course. Maybe.



Tomorrow, we're going to keep on hacking and slashing, as we look at two different 1980s pictures in Pieces and Driller Killer!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 22

While camping out in the forests of Oklahoma, young couple Seth and Polly find themselves the victims of a kidnapping and carjacking. The kidnappers, convict Dennis and his addict girlfriend Lacey, instruct them to drive the roads, until they hit a small, splinter-covered animal and receive a flat tire. After changing tires, the couples stop at a nearby gas station, but find the attendant ravaged and infected from an unknown symptom similar to the animal seen in the road, and soon find the station being overrun by a strain of a new, parasitic being that could infect and kill them all.


In my days of working at Hollywood Video, I acquired many "blind buys" for a rather insignificant amount of money. While a large portion of these pictures have turned out for the better, there are still a handful that have sat on my DVD shelf collecting dust for no reason other than I keep forgetting to watch them. Splinter was one of those such titles, and has even been passed over for the previous two years of Unseen Terror. Five years seems like a better time than never to finally brush that dust away though.


While I was aware that Splinter didn't boast a very large cast to begin with, I wasn't wise to the fact that it had a couple of familiar faces in it. Charles Baker (Breaking Bad) has a very brief role in the beginning, and Jill Wagner, who I'm still convinced needs more work despite Blade: The TV Series being canceled after one season, is in the lead female role. I honestly didn't recognize Paulo Costanzo of Road Trip fame, who seemed to age about fifteen years in only eight, and who was probably the weakest link in the film despite being the lead actor. Shea Whigham (Boardwalk Empire) plays a much more entertaining, and all around interesting character with at least some sort of backstory, as played out as it might end up being. As far as his character's significant other goes, I can't say that I've ever heard much about Rachel Kerbs, but I'm in no particular hurry to watch her play a junkie again anytime soon.


The film isn't shy about wearing its influences on its sleeve either. If you're wondering if that synopsis described above sounds vaguely familiar, I can assure you that it mercifully doesn't play out like a carbon copy of said picture...not that there's anything wrong with that. There are also subtle nods to pictures like Evil Dead 2 later in the film's second half, mostly in the effects department, which to my knowledge was done with nearly all practical work. Speaking of the practical work, it looks fine for what we see of it, but the camerawork here is so incredibly inconsistent, that you can never focus on any of the beauty of the creator's visions, made all the more shameful when you view the special features on the DVD (for which there are a lot) and see an actual gallery of the mutations and monsters included in the picture. Splinter's beasts look fairly twisted, like a combination of something from John Carpenter's The Thing and something vomited up from Silent Hill, but when you give us approximately two or three milliseconds to even glance at them before jumping back and forth, it borders on the irritating, and descends into the territory of disappointing.


In the end, I think Splinter wants to believe it is better than it actually is, but that doesn't make it a terrible film or anything akin to it. Trust me, I've seen some truly terrible films this year, and when I say I'd watch this over either of yesterday's entries, I sincerely mean that with all of my heart and soul. There are some solid practical effects, an interesting story, some pretty decent gore (a mighty fine scene involving amputation, a knife, and a cinder block should please even the most hardcore of purists), and the whole thing clocks in at around eighty minutes. Not a terrible way to spend five dollars, is it? Or was it three? Whatever the case, I'm sure Magnolia Pictures wouldn't charge you a great deal for this nowadays.



Tomorrow, we're still stuck on sliver removal with STAKE LAND!