Don't Breathe (2016) Review

Three young, small time criminals spend most of their time breaking into various homes, stealing only what is requested of their superiors or employers. Despite seemingly enjoying what they do on a regular basis, at least two are growing frustrated with this profession, longing to leave this life behind and begin anew. When one receives a tip about a residence that supposedly contains upwards of $300,000 in cash stashed inside of a basement, the group agree to one last heist. While on stakeout, they discover that not only is this abode inhabited by one, older man, but that the homeowner is blind. Later that evening, as the break-in is commencing, the solitary resident is revealed to be nowhere near as defenseless as he may appear to others, and that this dilapidated dwelling houses some very sinister secrets.

"I'm sorry, but North America just doesn't produce any good horror films anymore." 

As a movie lover and reviewer, if I may be able to request one thing these days, it would be that such a statement as that be put out to pasture. Over the last six years, we have been lucky enough to receive a large number of motion pictures that serve as not only adoring love letters to the fanbase and the genre's past, but a good chunk of releases, be they released to on-demand services or cineplexes, that have also managed to gather the necessary testicular fortitude to push it into a daring, new direction. Yes, there are still a myriad of unnecessary remakes and reboots that seem to come out more frequently than even I would expect, but they rarely affect the legacy of the originals, and are often forgotten about within a staggeringly short amount of time. Naturally, the response to some of the previously mentioned pictures in mind has been rather divisive, but that is expected from nearly anything to come along these days. To say that cynicism and hints of nihilism is a large problem in the communities of nearly everything that I personally like would be an understatement. However, with something as prominent as the "home invasion" sub-genre occasionally being forgotten about (save for gems such as Adam Wingard's You're Next), taking a risk by switching things up and having those who are burglarizing end up as the victims instead, is an opportunity that I believe is vital for the genre's survival.

As it turns out, 2016's Don't Breathe, written/directed by Fede Alvarez (Evil Dead 2013) and distributed by Robert Tapert and Sam Raimi's (Army of Darkness, Spider-Man) Ghost House Productions (Drag Me To Hell, 30 Days Of Night), is one of the best theatrically-released horror films that I have seen in recent memory. Heck, even though I am typing this in the month of August, I would not be shocked whatsoever to see this end up in my own personal "top ten" list towards the end of the year. A horror/thriller piece that is ripe with this much tension throughout its eighty-eight minute running time deserves all of the praise that is bestowed upon it. If you are the type of fan that pays good money to see horror flicks with the intention of being scared, or at least feeling so nervous that it could potentially induce nausea, this could be like discovering that the finest bottle of sake that you normally would go out of your way to seek is suddenly available right down the road. What a rather glorious feeling. What is sure to elicit the most amount of recognition during this feature's run over the course of the next month or two will be the wonderful cinematography and lighting, which is powerful enough to make the most claustrophobic and nyctophobic of people want to soil themselves. Unfortunately, that rules out the possibility of my own father ever viewing Don't Breathe, but you can't please everyone folks. It also packs a creepily effective score courtesy of Sexy Beast's Roque Banos, who knows not to be overbearing or obnoxious with a project such as this.

One of the wiser choices from somewhat-new heads sitting in the director's chair, as well as up-and-coming casting directors such as Rich Delia (Dallas Buyers Club, 2017's It), is to choose relatively unrecognizable faces as both heroes and villains. With this, Fede Alvarez manages to conjure up some exceptionally well done acting from our relatively minuscule list of performers. Evil Dead alumni Jane Levy is back after what seems like an eternity of absence from the big screen (hey, three years can seem that much longer in a horror fanatic's world), and reminds folks yet again about why publications and websites such as Forbes and Complex were so high on the very talented woman and her future in the world of entertainment. Her other companions, portrayed by Goosebumps' Dylan Minnette, and It Follows' Daniel Zovatto, are also in very fine form, with both adding more humanity to Don't Breathe to help keep it grounded and interesting. Quite often, you can pick out a weak link among any sort of ensemble, no matter the size, but that is far from the case in Don't Breathe. Admittedly, I have complained multiple times in the past about my personal gripes with how some characters act in situations such as these (it was my main reason for being unenthused with 2006's Them, a.ka. Ils), but when you consider their circumstances, personalities, and disappointing lives outside of their profession, being cross at them for taking certain actions becomes far more understandable.

Of course, what is a good horror movie without a diabolical reprobate? Avatar's Stephen Lang delivers one hell of a nerve-racking performance as The Blind Man (if my memory serves me right, our trio of robbers never learn his real name), and he is easily the most unique foe to come along in one of these films in several years. The aged citizen is cold, creepy, and underneath it all, assuredly deranged. While you do feel more than a few ounces of sympathy for the elderly gentlemen throughout the first half of the film's running time, its twists and turns slowly remind you that even handicapped individuals such as this one can keep terrible, awful mysteries hidden from the general public. At the risk of minor spoilers, to say that you experience a complete 180 degree turnaround on your opinion of the man, especially if you are a woman, is the most obvious statement of the year. It makes the events surrounding these poor souls, and Don't Breathe as a whole, that much more demented and daring. The Blind Man is also accompanied by a rather intimidating, relentless pet Rottweiler, who at times, manages to disturb and freak you out more than his own master can do. After witnessing the crazed canines in this year's Green Room, I think it may be safe to say that assorted writers in Hollywood have been doing a damn fine job of reminding audiences that man's best friend can be more difficult to deal with than you would think.

Don't Breathe is an often quiet, firm, yet exhilarating piece of suspenseful horror that both respectful devotees and casual fans of the genre will greatly be able to appreciate, while never feeling like it has to be desperate and scare the audience with cheap thrills and predictable cliches found in releases that are of lesser quality and take very few chances. No, it is well aware that have paid good money to be thrilled and frightened, and that after barking for so long that you "deserve a better class of fear," it is going to do the very best to stand and deliver on that request. As I have stated multiple times before, if you are willing to let yourself be sucked into a movie's world, absorbing every necessary detail and looking at these human beings as something more than just characters stuck in a scary movie, I am more than convinced that you can have just as fantastic of a time as I did. After all, when a sizable gathering of moviegoers* are eliciting several audible moans, gasps, and flat-out "NO!"s during a majority of the right moments when you are supposed to, you know that you have done your job as a filmmaker particularly well.

Now, perhaps if it isn't too much to ask for, can we hire someone to write a new character for Stephen Lang to play in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Perhaps a "Reverse-Daredevil," ala the antagonist for the CW's adaptation of The Flash? Yes, I know that the actor is not legally blind, but one can dream, can't I?

......Wait, there are TWO OTHER individuals in the Marvel Comics world for him to potentially tackle? Well, I suppose that can suffice...for now....

Note: I only say "sizable" because, and I hate to say it, some moviegoers will venture into every picture in this field with the worst of intentions; sporting a defiant, arrogant attitude that says they lack a willingness to be scared. Don't be that person. Let your guard down. Be afraid. Be very afraid. :)

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 8

Two young couples set out for a weekend getaway in the wilderness, back-packing together and camping whenever they feel the need to stop. Unbeknownst to the four, a crazed and demented killer is brutally murdering anyone who dares to set foot in the woods. Soon, the adults will have to fight for their lives against this enigmatic stranger.

After at least fifteen minutes of Don't Go In The Woods (known in some circles as Don't Go In The Woods…Alone!) had passed, a single, solitary thought popped into my head: will I remember any of this a year from my initial viewing, or worse yet, twenty four hours from now? In the realm of cinema, there is nothing worse than a forgettable film, regardless of the genre and the year that it was produced and made. Out of curiosity, I glanced at its overall rating on imdb.com. 

It was a 3.5 out of 10. 

Suddenly, I regretted my decision to press play.

Before I jot down my (very) brief thoughts on this splatterfest, I feel the need to apologize yet again. This time, however, it is for the fact that I simply can not type up a more detailed description of this picture's synopsis. Even by slasher standards, it's too basic and just plain dull. None of our heroes or side characters have any distinguishable personality traits (or acting abilities for that matter) and there's a good chance that they were randomly picked off of the street by the head of the casting department. Hell, they can't even scream well when some of them are being hacked to bits.

It's no wonder than director James Bryan went on to primarily direct skin flicks and/or adult movies after Woods was panned as horribly as it was. While I'm sure that he's a nice individual in real life, he can not for the life of him helm or command a horror film, even a B-grade one. The seven individuals running and mixing the sound don't help things either, as they make every single tourist and law enforcement official sound like they are either whispering or yelling constantly. My cut of Don't Go In The Woods also forsakes the use of a soundtrack (though I've heard that I may have been watching a different cut), and boy does it not help cure your boredom. These choices almost make you forget about how awful of a job those in charge of lighting and cinematography were doing too, until you realize that every kill (save for two admittedly decent-looking scenes involving a bear trap and an art canvas) is too darkly lit and frantically, sloppily shot. I wasn't sure exactly how this Quest For Fire reject that you call a killer was killing each victim, but had it been executed with better technique, I'm sure that it would have left you feeling aghast (how this was classified as a "video nasty" is baffling to me).

There is absolutely nothing worth salvaging from Don't Go In The Woods. It isn't worth your time, it isn't worth your money, and it is better left out of print so that the masses will be spared from feeling lethargic after its eighty two minute running time has wrapped. In the four years that I've been doing this yearly marathon, this was the only time that I've come close to legitimately falling asleep during a motion picture. Is that enough for you?

And should any employees from respectable companies such as Scream Factory or Blue Underground come across this review in the future, I beg of you to never touch this one with a ten foot pole. Not even if someone has a gun pointed at your head.

Tomorrow, it's back to sequelville with the followup to last year's number nine entry, V/H/S 2!

Unseen Terror 2012: Day 22

In a small area in Providence, Rhode Island, a young girl named Sally has been sent by her mother to stay with her father and his new girlfriend in their newly restored home. Initially depressed, and thoroughly unsatisfied, Sally despises her new home, but things start to get interesting when she wanders and discovers a sealed fireplace in the skylight of the manor's basement. She begins to hear multiple voices coming from not just the fireplace, but from various areas of the manor, and they all seem to be calling for her...


I've never seen the original Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, but outside of some role reversals, I've heard this doesn't deviate too much from the original source material. I'm admittedly going to have to track that film down now, just to see exactly how much was changed, and to see if it has the same faults and/or strengths as this film had.

For strengths, praise should go to actress Bailee Madison, who plays our young hero Sally pretty well. Come to think of it, everyone else around her was pretty mediocre. Katie Holmes seemed to be miscast in the role as the kind girlfriend of her father, and Guy Pearce just sounded disinterested throughout the entire film. Admittedly, it is a little difficult at first to even care about Sally, who just appears to be grumpy and frumpy for the first third of the movie (though I can't say I blamed her given some circumstances). The creatures themselves are also pretty scary-looking for the most part, though I'm sure they would have left a more lasting impact had they not been CGI. There is a particularly good jump scare involving them invading Sally's room.

Speaking of the creatures, yes, they're designed rather well. Yes, they're scary. But writer/producer Guillermo Del Toro, who I do rather enjoy, has already worked with the old legend of the "Tooth Fairies" before with Hellboy 2. Again, I know this is a remake, but it felt like he was recycling ideas with the decision to include them as the primary monsters. The film also boasts a running time of ninety nine minutes, and you do feel like a decent amount may have been left on the cutting room floor or was edited out of the script. Exactly what, I can't quite explain as of this writing, but I can almost guarantee that you'll feel the same way.

Underneath its occasional lapse into honest-to-god good creepiness and the somewhat formulaic "ancient evil reawakened" plot that we've seen countless times before (which preceded even the original), this is in essence a haunted house movie mixed with a fairy tale. That actually might be why I can say I enjoyed it. If you have some younger kids who don't mind an occasional scene of violence (I'm shocked this received an "R" rating considering there isn't any swearing or nudity), this could be a nice scary movie to watch with them one night. If you're uncertain about it though, just stick with an 80s or early 90s classic instead, and save this for a later date.


Tomorrow, we're going for a double dose of creature features, with BLOOD SURF and SHARK NIGHT.

Unseen Terror 2012: Day 1

Alrighty! Time to do this bad boy yet again! 31+ films in 31 days, all of which I've never had the chance to watch in their entirety (or watch whatsoever). Today, we'll start with a movie widely regarded as one of the best in British cinema, regardless of the genre.

A married couple, John and Laura, lose their daughter in a horrible accident. Several years later, they reside in Venice, with the husband working on a contracting job for a local church. The wife, however, has a chance encounter with two elderly sisters, one of whom is psychic. While she brings news to Laura that their daughter is "happy" in the afterlife, she also gives out a warning of something horrible to come.


I suppose it might be unfair to call this a pure "horror" film, given that it has more in common with a thriller, but its influence in the world of horror is undeniable. I've always felt that both fields were more tightly knit than people may want to admit. Don't Look Now is famous for two things: the twist ending and the potentially unsimulated sex scene between the film's two main stars. And of course, I'll discuss both, though not in great detail. I don't want to give too much away about this rather well done piece of work.

Despite being released in 1973, there is some absolutely fantastic camera work and editing that still holds up today. Plenty of great "dissolving" shots pepper the film, and I don't think it would have worked as well had it not been shot and set in Italy. This works especially well in the second half of the picture, and it starts to make the viewer feel paranoid and uneasy, along with the two leads. Speaking of our leads, they are just fantastic here. Donald Sutherland has always managed to do well working with horror films (minus a few missteps here and there), but honestly, Julie Christie completely outperforms him throughout most of the two hour runtime. Her grief and sorrow feels genuine, and you can't really take your eyes off of her (it certainly doesn't help that she was absolutely beautiful here. Actually, scratch that, she's STILL beautiful). The film feels very somber, and indeed, grief and sadness are the real keys to what drives this film, as is the urge to let go of those feelings.

Alas, I suppose I have to get to the two main things I discussed in my first paragraph that WASN'T the synopsis. While I admit that I'm the furthest thing from being knowledgable about "erotic" cinema or "erotic" sequences in cinema, I'm willing to bet that the lovemaking between the two leads was probably faked. Then again, I'm a skeptic about most things. BUT, all of that being said, you could convince damn near anyone that it wasn't. And as far as the ending goes, I was spoiled in advance (THANKS Bravo), but it didn't make it any less impacting. It may fall into the category of one of those conclusions you'll have to think about for a moment, but it makes perfect sense for a film of this nature.


Well so far, we're off to a good start. Don't Look Now certainly isn't going to be for everyone (especially those who don't like quieter films and prefer their horror films to be that much more "brutal"), but I rather enjoyed it. Unfortunately, this one might be a bit hard to come across due to Netflix recently removing it from their Instant Queue. Save up a few dollars and find a cheap copy on DVD, then let me know what you think.


Tomorrow, we'll take a gander at what helped birth heavy metal (no really!) with BLACK SABBATH.