For better or for worse, we have this bad boy here to thank for the onslaught of unnecessary remakes and retreads that seemed to plague cinemas for nearly two decades. I briefly recall seeing the trailer for 2003's remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and not being fully aware that this was a reboot rather than a sequel. Of course, now that I've sat through five of these films (of which a couple can arguably be called remakes/reimaginings of the original itself), I feel like perhaps an update would be a right proper move to make. No disrespect to the prior three entries in this franchise, but this series desperately needed to get back to its more terrifying roots. Thankfully it succeeds....kind of.
The plot revolves around a group of friends who pick up a hitchhiker while on their way to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. The stranger is seemingly traumatized and quietly murmuring to herself about "everyone being dead," but before they can get any further information about what this means, she pulls a gun from between her legs (like you do) and commits suicide. After pulling over to call the authorities, things start to get worse and worse for the youngsters as they find themselves being harassed and stalked by a plethora of psychotic individuals. Surprisingly, this reboot manages to wrangle up a few familiar faces from the original flick: cinematographer Daniel Pearl, narrator John Larroquette, and even Tobe Hooper & Kim Henkel (though the latter two co-produce this time around). Pearl in particular was a very nice addition: 2003's Chainsaw looks grimy and ugly considering that it still has Hollywood (specifically Michael Bay) deeply involved with it. The film's color palette is dreary and even from the get-go we never really feel as though there is ANY hope in this hellish landscape that we've entered. It's probably the best "aura" that we've seen emitted from a TCM movie since the first film. I do wish that they had stuck to minimal usage of music though: this new entry is a little too "loud" if you get my drift. Sound-wise it's oftentimes too reliant on jump scares, which while entertaining from time to time, don't really instill genuine fear in a lot of people.
In terms of the cast, 2003's Texas Chainsaw Massacre is perfectly adequate. Jessica Biel makes for a good final girl and gets some truly badass moments to shine during the film's final twenty minutes. Full Metal Jacket's R. Lee Ermey makes for a truly great psychopathic sheriff who feels arguably more threatening than the most famous figure in this franchise. Speaking of that, even if I may think that the guy is a complete fucking knob, Andrew Bryniarski makes Leatherface feel threatening for the first time in quite a while. He's imposing and intimidating without seeming too superhuman, even if he's missing some of the more quirky traits that made the villain so interesting to fans. I wish I could say the same for the rest of the cast, because I feel as though this is one of the film's biggest flaws: there isn't a distinctive feature amongst them other than maybe some very small physical traits (that and Biel being a legitimately recognizable face). Yes the original film's cast was nothing super flashy, but there was at least something unique about them. In this picture, they all come across as extremely unlikable, and moments of padding out the film were likely done to help the audience care for them, but I don't think it works very well. Heck even Leatherface's "family" feel like they've been ripped from the big book of redneck stereotypes.
I was expecting to come out of 2003's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with very mixed emotions, and it turns out that such a thing came to be a reality. It's not a terrible movie by any stretch of the imagination (and from I'm told, I'll come to appreciate it more with what other films come afterwards), but like most modern remakes/retellings, it just doesn't seem to serve any purpose or warrant a reason for existing other than the belief that a lot of younger audiences won't watch "old" horror movies anymore. Funnily enough, this picture could now be considered "nostalgic" for the generation just underneath my own, and I've met an abundance of genre fans who used films like this as a stepping stone for them to dive further into this oh-so wonderful world that we call horror cinema. So despite my mixed feelings, I do acknowledge and respect its importance to horror, whether some other folks may want to or not.
Oh if only this flick was sentient though: it'd owe us an apology for the wave for crappy remakes like The Fog, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, and the like.
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