It was on the tenth day of this month that I could declare that I am mercifully done with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise, and after watching the SECOND attempt at a prequel story in this series, I pray to whatever deity will listen that ideas for resurrecting the Sawyer family and their kin remain dormant for a lengthy amount of time. Leatherface is set several years before the events of the original picture and tells the story of how the titular character came to be who he is. There's a story involving him being sent to a mental asylum and escaping with a group of crazies and.....honestly, I can't muster the energy to even give this movie the thorough trashing that it deserves. Though the kills are appropriately nasty and Lili Taylor gives a decent performance as Verna Sawyer, the rest of this movie is just putrid, forced, or downright idiotic. I was aghast when I saw that this came from the same people who made the horrifying and unsettling Inside, which is one of the most uncomfortable and cruel flicks that I've ever seen come from overseas. I'm torn between who I think has the the worse luck when it comes to lousy sequels or retreads: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Hellraiser. At this point, this series doesn't need someone to bring integrity back to the franchise: it needs a pillow over the face.
On the plus side, it IS marginally better than Texas Chainsaw 3-D.
1985's Creature was a film that had been on my radar for much longer than I realized. I do like me some Peter Benchley, plus the addition of Craig T. Nelson and Kim Cattrall as lead performers only added to my excite-...wait, this isn't THAT Creature? This is the one directed by the man who gave us Feardotcom? And from the writer of Supernova?
Well then. Creature (also known as Titan Find) is essentially what would happen if you made Alien, splashed in some elements from The Thing, and slashed its budget significantly while also forgetting how to keep your audience interested. I'd love to say that the presence of noted German legend Klaus Kinski lifts this film up even a smidge, but he's barely in the picture as it is and feels incredibly subdued when he does appear on screen. Come to think of it, I can't really come up with anything positive to say about this one. It's shockingly boring, poorly lit, and cheap-looking in the wrong kind of way. You'd be better off watching other Alien "ripoffs" like Contamination or even last year's ridiculously dumb Shocking Dark.
I feel as though whatever the twelfth day brings, I desperately need my mood lifted.
Okay, I'm (technically) cheating here. I first saw portions of Cat's Eye as a kid and eventually made my way to watching the film in its entirety during my teenage years. It has been quite a while since I did that though, and through the magic of Plex I was able to revisit this wonderful anthology from the year of my birth. I won't mince words: Cat's Eye holds a very special place in my heart. It was one of my earliest introductions to the world of Stephen King, showed me how great practical effects and green screen can be when in the right hands, and most importantly it solidified my love for tabby cats. Two of the stories found here are based off of previously-published King short stories ("Quitters Inc." comes from Night Shift, "The Ledge" from Penthouse magazine and also Night Shift), with the third ("General") being a wholly original one penned for the flick by the Maine madman himself. Other than every segment involving the same cat in some sort of capacity, the connecting theme throughout all of these appears to be the fear of losing your loved ones.
"Quitters Inc." revolves around James Woods joining a strange organization that will seemingly cure him of his nicotine addiction, though if he strays from this path even once, they promise that there will be consequences involving his family. I did not remember this one being as goofy as it is, but Woods' near-constant neurotic performance makes this a very entertaining thirty-or-so minutes. Hell it could have gone on for another ten and I still would have been perfectly content. "The Ledge" is eerily similar to "Something to Tide You Over" from Creepshow; Robert Hays plays a man who is forced to circle a VERY narrow exterior of a tall building by the husband of the woman he's been having an affair with. Even those who don't share the same fear of heights that some of my own friends do will likely feel a little queasy, which can be attributed to some great camerawork and trickery. "General" however, is perhaps the most notorious and well-liked story in Cat's Eye. The aforementioned cat, who had acted as more of a background player prior to this while also avoiding other King creations such as Cujo and Christine (not kidding!), finds himself in the home of young Drew Barrymore and runs afoul of her distrustful mother. Because of her apprehension and insistence that he remain an outdoor cat, the feline is initially unable to protect the girl from a benevolent troll who enters her room with the intention of stealing her breath. Eventually the two creatures meet and we bear witness to a wonderful fight which showcases how criminally underrated this film's effects are. I feel as though I've lost count with how many times I've watched this particular segment over the decades, but it never fails to put the biggest smile on my face. It also has a great vocal performance from Frank Welker as the tiny terror whom only Barrymore is convinced exists.
Like I did with the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I don't think there's much else that I can add when it comes to heaping praise on Cat's Eye. It's a truly wonderful little movie and was the perfect piece to help erase the memory of the past few flicks from my mind. Go watch it and give your pussy some loving while you're at it.
.................note to self: don't type that again.
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