Unless you have been living under a rock for the past twenty-five years, I don't believe that The Simpsons' yearly special known as "Treehouse of Horror" needs any sort of proper introduction. And as I discussed yesterday, I seem to apply new rules and guidelines to Unseen Terror more than I realize. Given how I felt about last year's installment, and with the addition of this being the television show's six-hundredth episode (it falls just right below Japan's Sazae-san for the longest-running animated program in history), I figured that we were in for a real special treat that would be able to reward even those who have tuned out quite a number of years ago.
"Treehouse of Horror XXVII" opens with our titular family shopping for a Christmas tree, only to suddenly be confronted by a number of series antagonists from throughout the years, including the ghost of Homer's enemy Frank Grimes. I've always loved good ol' Grimey, as he served as a nice encapsulation of the constant critiquing the show has received from day one about how there is no way in hell that somebody as idiotic as Homer can accomplish as much as he does, and how posh his life is compared to everyone else's. As fun as it was to see him return, this prologue does ultimately feel like a waste though, even with bringing him back alongside of Kelsey Grammer's Sideshow Bob (who gets maybe ten seconds total to speak). Also, why in the world was Kang the Alien unable to speak English this time around, opting to just screech instead? On the plus side, it is followed by an amusing couch gag which pays tribute to Planet of the Apes.
Our first segment is titled "Dry Hard," and begins as a parody of The Hunger Games film series before descending into one that is closer in tone and visual appeal to last year's righteously great Mad Max: Fury Road. Despite some funny gags that pop up once in a while (whenever a person dies and their name is hoisted up on a big screen with something amusing underneath it), this felt so extremely lazy. It also begs the question of what does this have to do with Halloween or scary movies, but they seem to have given up on those associations and ties years ago. Luckily, "BFF R.I.P." is an amusing second story that feels very reminiscent of some of the yearly episode's earlier years, as it deals with Lisa seemingly having horrible luck with keeping anyone alive who claims to be her "best friend." It also gives us some solid Homer lines such as "Jeez, who would've thought a funeral for two kids would be so depressing?" Had this closed out the entire thing, I would have been able to cut the whole experience some slack, but they unfortunately follow it up with a James Bond & Kingsman parody titled "MoeFinger," which, to be as polite as I can be here, SUCKS. Given the seasonal tradition that these are supposed to have some sort of relation to horror or even science fiction, what sense did it make shoving this in here? Absolutely nothing works, failing to elicit even a quarter of a chuckle. Worse yet, as someone who can't stand musical acts such as Steely Dan (but can appreciate a fun Simpsons cameo), the fact that they wasted time and money on dragging the band's co-founder Don Fagen out for a five second appearance is just baffling. The episode closes out with a Tina Turner-lite song celebrating the show's longevity, which is charming until they take not-so-subtle shots at cancelled shows such as The Critic and Futurama. Say what you will about the former outstaying its welcome too, but at least it had the common decency to know when its end had finally arrived.
For such a monumental milestone, the newest entry in The Simpsons' "Treehouse of Horror" series, which is usually a standout even among weaker seasons, is extremely disappointing. Though I know that I am just one lowly soul who spends too much of his time on the internet and watching films of varying quality, it's my opinion that it is time to allow Fox's cash cow to bow out and end with some dignity left intact. At this point, the show has been reaching levels of awfulness longer and far more often than it has the opposite, and that is depressing for older folks such as myself. Though I'm sure that your local cable provider has the option for audiences to watch this as soon as they want to (as will websites such as Simpsons World), it's probably better to just ignore this one and move on with your daily lives.
I consider the seventeenth year of my existence on this planet to be the absolute pinnacle of my geekdom. It was one of my last years of being a devout fan of professional wrestling, as I would take a break from regular viewing by 2004, only sporadically tuning in whenever there was a Royal Rumble or (sadly) a wrestler passing away. Of course, this would change again for the better in 2010, but I digress. Coincidentally, I also believe that it was the last truly great year for my beloved aforementioned series The Simpsons. But, most importantly, it was when this unapologetic nerd was fully immersed in the realm of Japanese animation. I was adamant that viewing any and every piece of work out there was vital to my well being, and it got fanatical enough to where I even attended my first convention (Baltimore's Otakon) dedicated to it in 2002. Much like I do these days with graphic novels, I tended to follow certain creators rather than entire studios or companies. One such writer that always attracted my attention was Mr. Yoshiaki Kawajiri, whose creations such as Ninja Scroll and Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust assisted in exposing me to darker, more mature material outside of say, Dragon Ball or Sailor Moon (yeah, I watched the latter. FIGHT ME). He also co-founded animation studio Madhouse, who helped many folks besides myself look beyond the realms of normalcy by distributing classics such as Trigun, and modern day hits such as High School of the Dead, Claymore, and Death Note. Most of their works are ones that I strongly recommend even to those who are apathetic about this niche genre, as they are chock full of wonderful creativity, unique action, memorable casts, and a ton of heart.
So, how does 1995's Bio Hunter, a story about two biologists who tackle virus-infected humans with demonically-enhanced powers, all while trying to combat some darker urges themselves, compare to all of those I had previously mentioned? Well, for starters, it opens with a lady's left breast spouting a nasty mouth, which proceeds to bite off and swallow a man's hand. Folks, you can't say that the Japanese aren't creative with their gore (go watch Tokyo Gore Police or The Machine Girl if you disagree). Sadly, the OVA begins to slowly slide downhill from then on, with nearly all of its problems firmly keeping it stuck in the mud for an all too brief sixty minute running time. None of the characters are especially interesting, and are given nowhere near the amount of time to grow attached to them. When we discover that one of our protagonists is infected with the same "demon virus" early on that permeates throughout the blood of others (calling this ailment by such a nickname is akin to calling your gym "Super Workout Place"), we raise an eyebrow or so, but he's still a fairly replaceable hero. Hell, the primary villain introduced during the second half feels like your average douchebag politician character in every form of media out there. Even though the pedigree of its voice cast does look extremely impressive on paper, Bio Hunter also suffers from being the recipient of some rather lifeless dubbing. In its defense, however, this was recorded and mixed during that awkward time period when a majority of actors didn't know whether to take anime seriously or not, as they were most likely certain that this would end up as a 90s-centric fad that would burn out just as quickly as it started. But hey, we do get the underrated line of "There's so much that science can't explain." Perhaps someone at U.S. production company Urban Vision is a creationist?
Bio Hunter isn't necessarily bad, but it feels almost instantly forgettable. Had there been a stronger focus on fleshing out a more complex, deeper story and less on making it cool or "edgy," then I think this could have been classified as a special, hidden gem. With a larger budget and more time, the OVA could have made for a fun television series, and it certainly wouldn't be too late to start considering how wide and varied the world of manga and anime are. As it stands, it feels like a dollar store version of Kawajiri's prior work Wicked City, which dealt with similar concepts and featured many of the same staples he throws into every piece he completes (tentacles, odd couple partnerships, body horror). The DVD and VHS are (unsurprisingly) out of print and will cost you a pretty penny if you wish to add them to your collection, though it is readily available to watch on nearly any website such as YouTube.
In fact, I think I'll take the risk and just post it below. Besides, you can always just watch for the first ninety seconds and stop, just to see the boob mouth.
Oh, and before I wrap this one up, would anyone be interested in me doing a mini-marathon one day devoted to exclusively "anime" horror? Please let me know. Because I totally think that I'll do it.
Tomorrow, it's time to cross off another requirement from my unofficial list of rules, as I tackle a particular remake from the past few years that I somehow forgot existed. Will is leave me feeling cold? If that's the case, man is always the warmest place to hide...
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