Every year when I am in the process of finalizing my list for Unseen Terror, I have guidelines that I adhere to and do my hardest to follow. The first, most obvious one of these is to watch a picture that I have never seen before, which warrants a "fresh" perspective for every entry with no bias (be it negative or positive) coming in. An assortment of other rules that I have come to add over the course of seven years have also included some of the following:
- Watch at least one remake of a popular, well-respected picture (coming soon)
- View at least three foreign films, no matter the country of origin (technically completed)
- Finish one, new anthology collection
Thankfully, after stumbling across 2016's newest foray into this subcategory, the bluntly-titled Holidays, I knew that I could breathe just a bit easier now. Trust me when I say, that for as much love as I have for a good horror compilation, it is far too easy to accidentally pick out the mediocre ones from a lot that is full of fair, admirable choices. For every Trick 'R Treat, Chillerama, or Body Bags, there is something disappointing like The ABCs of Death or Cradle of Fear lurking around the corner for you. On the plus side, very few of these flicks actually require me to type up a plot synopsis for them, and hell, anything that saves me from being even more meticulous that I already am is fine by me.
Unfortunately, I almost wish that such a need was warranted with a piece like Holidays. Admittedly, you always take a risk when popping on an anthology film, regardless of whatever genre it can be filed under. There is the all-too-real possibility of it being extremely hit or miss. Some stories will excite, amuse, or even terrifying you. The leftover ones, however, could end up leaving you with a rather foul taste remaining inside of your mouth. The idea of one project flowing (nearly) perfectly from beginning to end seems like a pipe dream in this current decade, and this release from Vertical Entertainment does nothing to help matters.
As we move on to the submitted entries themselves, I will confess that my only prior knowledge of Holidays came from hearing of writer/director Kevin Smith (Clerks, Chasing Amy, Tusk) filming and presenting another new work of his own for the film. Seeing as how I was not particularly fond of his last theatrical release, I kept nearly every finger, toe, and other body part crossed that this would turn out to be infinitely more watchable and engaging than seeing Johnny Depp parade around with a bad accent again. Much to my surprise, "Halloween" ends up being one of the worst aspects about Holidays, as it just highlights multiple problems that I have these days with the guy who, at one point on, I looked up to. It's a wannabe feminist revenge fantasy mixed with dialogue that seems to written exclusively for the cast and crew to enjoy, but leaves the audience groaning and just kind of embarrassed after it has wrapped. Also, for someone who was given perhaps the easiest day of the year to work with in the script department, Smith's short is the laziest and has the least in common with its titular celebration. Kudos for casting Harley Morenstein of Epic Meal Time fame though.
In the directing department, Smith is easily the most recognizable name attached to Holidays, as the rest of the pack is comprised of the veritable "Who's That?" from modern-day horror pictures. Kevin Kolsch (Starry Eyes) pens two different tales related to New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day (while directing the latter), with both yielding fun, if not predictable results. "Father's Day" starts off promising with the big screen reappearance of the lovely, talented, and supremely underrated Jocelin Donahue (The House of the Devil), as she portrays a woman searching for her once-thought deceased parent, but as it drags along to reach this epic, terrifying reveal during its brief running time, the ordeal ends up concluding with a bit of a whimper. Still, as flawed as it was, it did pique my interest in seeing what newcomer Anthony Scott Burns will be able to concoct in the near future. I wish that the same could be said for Sarah Adina Smith's "Mother's Day" and Gary Shore's "St. Patrick's Day," as they come across as incredibly weak retellings of Rosemary's Baby, though possessing far more interest in the gross out or cool factor rather than the frightening one. Unbelievably, Scott Stewart (Priest, Legion) turns in the absolute best choice of the bunch with "Christmas," a black comedy that revolves around star Seth Green (Robot Chicken, Austin Powers) going to any length possible to obtain the newest virtual reality toy for his child, even if it may come back to haunt him in ways he didn't imagine. Scott's submission has a hell of a lot of charm, but unfortunately ends just when things are going from good to great. Perhaps there is a possibility of a full-length feature adaptation to come? If there isn't, such a decision wouldn't necessarily be a bad one to make.
Despite some fun moments here and there, Holidays' primary problem comes down to an unforgiveable error that is present in far too many of the segments: they end abruptly. Mind you, I can ignore such a decision if it's done once or twice, but it felt as thought there was tons of missing footage in the film reel that was lost and never found. It gets repetitive, and just sort of annoys you to the point where you are unsure if you would ever express a desire to view it again. Because of that, it helps make Holidays feel extremely disjointed, as if it never lives up to its potential. Most segments build up to something that should be fabulous, but just fizzle out or conclude with far too easy of a resolution or reveal (this finally gives me an excuse to link to this clip). It's especially flabbergasting when you consider that this motion picture omnibus is nearly two hours long and was primarily given a straight-to-home video release rather than a theatrical one, which if all things were right in the world, means that there should be free range to do whatever you feel like. Am I fully convinced that a better overall product would have been churned out if an additional, combined forty minutes to an hour was evenly distributed to the filmmakers? No. But you never know unless you try. At this present moment, the movie is not available for purchase on any disc format, but a DVD street date is approaching sooner than you think. The easiest method in which to view Holidays will come from Netflix's streaming service, who have been repeatedly advertising it for reasons that even I am not certain of.
Oh, wait. You do get to see a monstrous, mutated rabbit in the "Easter" chapter who looks like something out of the film adaptation for The Twilight Zone. Maybe that's why they are so insistent on shoving it down our throats.
Tomorrow, we head into the animated realm for several entries that lean more towards the macabre side of things, and their countries of origin are all over the map!
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