Well, thanks yet again to film lengths, I'm doing another double review. I don't believe either film I'm talking about today will even be able to compare to something like Un Chien Andalou, and I'm not sure the makers of either have seen that film, or could even pronounce the name correctly.
500 years ago, a killer turkey was conjured up to kill any and all white people it could in the name of Native American oppression. Or something. Fast forward to modern day, where the turkey has awakened to slaughter young, nubile college kids, who are no doubt thrilled that their Thanksgiving break must now be spent trying to defend themselves (and their loved ones) from the wrath of killer poultry.
Thankskilling looks and feels like a movie made by college kids with a few thousand dollars (approximately $3,500) to throw away in hopes of trying to capture the same charm as some of the oh so wonderful Troma movies of the past have. Does it succeed? Eh, sort of. The movie is astonishingly stupid for it's incredibly short runtime (66 minutes) but does try to keep it's audience's attention with low brow humor and a turkey that seems to embody Freddy Krueger at times, but without really the style that the Elm Street veteran has. The acting is bad enough to make Tommy Wiseau look credible, but maybe that was the point. In all honesty, I feel kind of bad even bashing this since there were a couple of moments that genuinely made me laugh (like a turkey sex scene...don't ask) and the ending is a nice jab/homage to the absurdity of sequels. Maybe it's best that you watch this was a pack of friends, and preferably inebriated.
Now for part 2.
A group of mutant sharks invade the town of Cape Town, South Africa, essentially seeking out a few quick bites. After chowing down on a woman diving with her sister, one of the sharks is captured and set to be the star attraction of "Water World," a new park opening up. The shark escapes and several people, including the sister of the deceased diver, set out to hunt it, and it's brethren down.
There are many great things I can say about Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. It's one of the finest examples of a modern day "so bad it's good" film, right up there with movies like The Room and Troll 2. This one however, is best left lost at sea. It STINKS. Like it's sequel, the film uses green screen effects at times and recycles footage stolen from Discovery Channel. Unlike it's sequel however, these moments are never amusing and just flat out boring to sit through. It also rips off quite a good amount from Jaws, and I don't mean having similar situations. I mean, same camera tricks, same plot developments, etc. It's shameful stuff. The only two moments where you could elicit actual laughter involve a "break" montage with wildly inappropriate porno music playing in the background, which is made even more awkward considering the scene ends with the surviving diver (who looks like a C-rate version of Rebecca Romjin with frizzy hair) talking sadly about how much she wishes she "could have said goodbye" to her sister. The other is the inevitable sex scene, which reminded me a little too much of Showgirls, and not in a good way.
This film just sucks all around. No other way to put it. If you do decide to watch it, it's 90 minutes of your life that you'll never get back. You could do more productive things like play with squirrel turds instead. Or at least spend at 2/3 of this film's running time watching Thankskilling, which, while stupid, is at least watchable.
Tomorrow, I see what Zach Galligan has been up to outside of taking care of Mogwais and check out WAXWORK.
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