Unseen Terror 2013: Day 17

Left alone to herself for the evening, a popular high school girl decides to throw a slumber party sleepover for herself and her friends at the house. She even invites the new girl from school, who after hearing some catty talk about herself, declines the invitation. That night, after the girls arrive, an escaped murderer with an affinity for power drills makes his way to the neighborhood with bloodshed in mind, and the only hope for survival may come in the form of the new girl from high school.

You know, I was shocked with how far I've come with this year's marathon, but somehow I've yet to look at a single slasher film from any decade. That changed with a viewing of one of the lost relics from the 1980s, The Slumber Party Massacre. With the recent string of "Killer Women" and "female power" horror films I've been viewing over the past few days, you might be wondering how in the world something with a title such as this could be categorized under either of those. And I'll confess that outside of a script written by noted feminist author and writer Rita Mae Brown, it really can't. I think I'm just running out of gas.

Plot-wise, the film isn't exactly trying to break new grounds, but Brown's original intentions were for it to be a parody of the then-burgening slasher genre. Not surprisingly, the film's producers insisted the film be played as a straight horror film instead. Given this choice, it does make it somewhat uneven in the end, but you can still get a feel for the screenplay's original intentions, even amongst the oodles of sleaze. And I feel that I should mention the sleaze before I forget, because this film doesn't waste your time giving what you want and remarkably fast. I clocked the first shot of nudity at approximately two minutes in and the first kill at about four or five minutes in, if not less. Whether this was Brown's choice or the choice of director Amy Holden Jones (who went on to write Beethoven of all films), I have no idea.

The comedic parts were also necessary to keep it grounded and from being too routine (great gag involving a refrigerator), and the women themselves, as hard to distinguish as they can be at times, do have some charisma in the lead up to the inevitable title massacre. Even by slasher movie standards, some of their age discrepancies are noticeable though. Speaking of our slasher, his choice of weapon for a large portion of the film's running time (a criminally short seventy-seven minutes) is a power drill, which I will have to admit is fairly cool. I've always admired the "simple, but effective" ideology when it comes to the mindsets of killers in cinema, though I'd certainly say that this killer's mindset isn't exactly the most complicated, as it seems he just simply likes to murder pretty, young people. Slumber's gore isn't off the charts either, but given its original intentions, this wasn't about trying to set records in that book. If you want crazy gore in your slasher films, you can still view films like The Burning and the Friday the 13th films after all.

In the end, The Slumber Party Massacre is a fun time if you're into these type of pictures, but those not crazy about slasher cinema might want to stay clear. The script is certainly better than it lets on to be, as are the performances from the main cast, but it definitely feels like this was marketed more towards the fans than anything else, or at least towards those more fanatical about the genre than anything else. I had a pretty good time overall, but that doesn't mean you will. I've heard very mixed things about the sequels that have been released throughout the years, but I actually wouldn't be opposed to seeing a concept like this remade down the line, with perhaps a similar writer in mind, but with the original intention of it being a parody being fully realized.

Tomorrow, we're actually back to the present (and revisiting the past) with CARRIE!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 16

When meek medical student Jeffrey's fiancee Elizabeth perishes in a freak lawnmower accident, the  young man becomes initially depressed, but soon incredibly determined to be with her once more, no matter the cost or means. Through some less-than-respectable "searching" in New York City's seedy prostitution district, he seeks out the best parts from the best women in order to rebuild his dearly departed and beheaded fiancee.

Like the previously reviewed Antiviral, you could make the strong argument that Frankenhooker isn't a horror film, and director Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case) has apparently gone on the record saying that he prefers to be called an "exploitation" director more than anything else. Unlike that film, however, I'd classify this one as a black comedy, and a fairly funny, nutty one at that. I know I say this about a good number of directors on here, but with Henenlotter, you have to be willing to relax and just realize this is going to be what people collectively refer to as "nonsensical" or "eye-roll inducing."

The plot is, as if you couldn't tell from the obvious title homage, a tribute to Frankenstein and The Bride of Frankenstein, though I'd say there's also tiny tributes to the likes of The Brain That Wouldn't Die and even Re-Animator (not just due to the Jeffrey Combs tribute with the main character naming). Our title character is played by the not-quite one and done former Penthouse Pet Patty Mullen, who is actually stuffed into a fat suit for her first appearance prior to Frankenhooker's opening credits, though me being the desperate man admittedly wouldn't have turned her down in the "fat suit" either. Speaking of Mullen, man do I wish she hadn't disappeared after this, because the lady had a great knack for comedy. Her facial expressions make this all the more memorable, and is a good possibility why this is so fondly remembered by horror fans. Speaking of the aforementioned Jeffrey, he's played by James Lorinz, with sort of a George Costanza-gone-mad scientist kind of schtick. He's clearly a putz at times, but still sort of lovable for the most part. I'm not quite sure I understood his fascination with "drills" though, which I'll have to explain to those who ask me in public. It was a running gag that just didn't do much for me.

While the comedic parts of this film are pretty stupendous, they are a considerably darker shade than Basket Case's for the first third or so, at least for the more uptight crowd. Then again, if you're that uptight, why are you watching a film titled Frankenhooker in the first place? With Basket Case though, I liked the actual horror elements that film seemed to carry, and they are kind of missed here, since nothing in Frankenhooker is especially gory per se, at least compared to what was coming out at the time, which is weird considering the $2.5 million budget we see here. The character of the evil pimp, while admittedly amusing and looking like Freddie Mercury on an all steroids diet, ultimately just felt like he was there to help set up something which never comes about. Minor complaints, but they are still small complaints I suppose.

Whatever you or director Frank Henenlotter want to call this film, Frankenhooker ends up being a lot of fun, and I think I actually might have enjoyed it a tad bit more than Basket Case in some regards, though I haven't viewed Henenlotter's other original creation Brain Damage as of yet. Perhaps it came down to the scene involving a drug that I'll simply refer to as "Super Crack," or the nonchalant behavior and attitude of everyone in New York City when they see a very peculiar-looking prostitute walking the streets (constantly asking "Wanna Date?"), pushing people into the road, and electrocuting those she comes into "contact" with. Perhaps it was Bill Murray's sarcastic (or was it?) recommendation of the film back upon its initial release in 1990. Or maybe I was just in the mood for a silly, B-movie with a lot of nudity and a big camp factor. For those interested, Frankenhooker is available for streaming on Youtube and is available on DVD and Blu-Ray.

Tomorrow, ladies night comes to a bloody end with THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 15

During World War II, two New Zealand soldiers, Grogan and Tane, make their way to the Nazi-occupied trap of Forau Island, in the hopes of drawing Hitler's attention away from Normandy. Once near a fort, the two men are drawn to screams for help, both male and female. Unfortunately, Tane is killed, while Grogan is knocked unconscious by a Nazi colonel. As he comes to, Grogan's assailant tells him of the true source of what these Nazi forces had been plotting: demonic conjuring.


I'd like to preface today's entry with a collective wag of the finger to Netflix. A mere hours after my viewing of The Devil's Rock, I've found that it has been removed from the "Instant Stream" option. Those of you who know me know that most of my past marathons consist of relying upon the usage of streaming sites such as Netflix themselves, along with sites such as Youtube, Crackle, and the like. Hopefully, over the next year or so, I'll attempt to organize next year's list, which will largely consist of home video releases, which are obviously free of removal and limited-time restrictions.


Right off the bat, The Devil's Rock won brownie points with me by setting itself during the time of World War II, something I don't see that often during many modern horror films. You would figure that a setting and time period such as that is ripe for the picking considering the fascination with the occult that Hitler had, and the atrocities that the Nazis themselves committed. But as the plot synopsis above would tell you, the plot background is a bit more alluring than just the simple "Nazis are evil" jargon.


The introductory fifteen minutes, in terms of dialogue, exposition, and even pacing, feel almost lifted from a video game, which may or may not be a bad thing. But after it passes, and we enter the "rock" in question, we get to the nitty gritty, which is meant to focus on our two main characters: New Zealand soldier Grogan and Nazi Colonel Meyer. Obviously, the two are nothing alike, but given the filmmaker's decision to predominantly focus on just the two of them for most of the film's running time, it helps to build character and develop their backstories. They make a decent mismatched pair, and before you can think about playing some sort of silly 80s buddy sitcom theme, make no mistake, this is clearly an "enemy of my enemy" situation, and in this case, one of them is still a filthy Nazi.


But the inclusion of the occult isn't something that should come as surprise to those more well-versed in fantasy cinema, or at least in films dealing with Nazis. The obsession and "link" between nazism and the occult began with my introduction to the Hellboy series, and before you cry "read a book that isn't a comic book you whippersnapper" or something like that, I'll just politely ask you to be quiet for the time being. The demon, which chooses to stay in one form throughout most of the film's fairly quick running time, looked a little similar to a female version of Satan from Legend, but maybe not as defined. She really does her damndest to tempt these two, and man does it take a lot for you to think "listen to the Nazi for once dude."


The Devil's Rock does feel somewhat short, and does suffer from a somewhat lower budget, but it is a pretty fine effort when it comes down to it, especially when you consider the somewhat misleading, though admittedly enticing DVD cover chosen for its stateside/Region 1 release. It might not be the most accurate comparison to make, but I felt the same way with this as I did with something like 2002's Dog Soldiers, though it obviously doesn't deal with werewolves and is nowhere near as gory (and like that film, you might benefit from subtitles once in a while). Still, like that picture, it is a pleasant surprise that seems to come out of nowhere, with little-to-no hype, no real plot holes, and a fairly satisfying ending. Be sure to stream....erm......find it somehow.



Tomorrow, the ladies are coming back to life with FRANKENHOOKER!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 14

Medical student Mary Mason is on her way to achieving her life goal of becoming a surgeon, save for her bills which she is struggling to pay. On the night that she decides to take up stripping in order to help pay off said bills, she finds herself indadvertedly drawn into the world of underground surgeries. Though initially aghast, she finds that taking large sums of money in order to perform "special" procedures on particular clientele may not be such a bad idea after all, though the repercussions will be more dire than suspected.

Holy frijoles, the sister from Ginger Snaps is alive!

Alright, that wasn't the most eloquent of ways to start a review. I never claimed to be a professional. Not yet at least.

Speaking of professional, directors/sisters Jen and Sylvia Soska (alias "The Twisted Twins") don't come from a famous family or have a large budget (at least to my knowledge), though the two did make some waves in 2009 with their very bluntly titled Dead Hooker in a Trunk. Shot in only fifteen days, American Mary is their second, but hopefully not last horror effort, as this ends up being a pretty darn good little film, and gives us the best performance from Katharine Isabelle we've seen to date.

Once the initial viewing was completed, I often wondered why the Canadian actress Isabelle isn't a bigger star, be it in horror films or in cinema in general. She's got a great look, a credible amount of sly charisma, and certainly shows that she can carry a movie by herself if need be. It's perplexing as to why she isn't as big as someone like, say, Emma Stone or Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I don't want to say it is due to bad career decisions (go watch her breakthrough role in Ginger Snaps and tell me she wouldn't have been a star), since everyone is capable of slipping up once in a while, but maybe her awesome job here will finally help turn her career around again. The character of Mary never becomes unsympathetic throughout the film's running time either, save for maybe a few moments of "desperation," which seem altogether tragic in retrospect. She's easy to identify with, struggling mentally and financially, and as the film progresses, she regresses, but still retains a sense of humanity. Mary is also the source of most of the movie's dark humor, something I didn't quite expect, but welcomed.

While Mary's a great character indeed, I think the support cast ranged from "pretty interesting" to "evil bad guy man." There's the character of Beatress, who will make me never, and I mean, EVER want to look at Betty Boop again. She's fun, freaky, and all around kind of sad. But then there's pretty much every male character. American Mary doesn't exactly hide its feminist message, which I don't really have a problem with, but every male is either a creep, an asshole, or a combination of both. There are glimpses of men who resemble none of the above, but they're so rarely seen, it ultimately doesn't matter. But much like Lucky McKee's The Woman (also a very pro-feminist film), this didn't hurt my overall enjoyment of the product. Some nitpickers will have a major problem with the way the Soskas choose the wrap their project, as there feel like some loose ends that don't quite get tied up, but I think it would be a case of doing the math and figuring things out for yourself.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I have a personal problem with viewing motion pictures, or even programs that deal with surgical procedures, be it on living beings or dead ones. Even programs such as HBO's Autopsy back in the day used to make my stomach turn in a way where I had to change the channel in order to prevent last night's dinner from coming back up. Unless you're extremely squeamish, American Mary isn't likely to cause that reaction in you, but I think those of you more critical of "Stateside" horror will find something to like here, even if this is technically from our brothers/sisters up north. Count me in for future projects from these twins, but I might have to politely ask that they don't attempt to play any more Russian twins in those pictures.

Tomorrow, we're not quite done with ladies night and take a trip to THE DEVIL'S ROCK!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 13

On Halloween night, an assortment of teenagers are invited to a party at the abandoned mortuary known as Hull House by high school outcast Angela Franklin and her friend Suzanne. Things are going rather well, until the power dies, and in order to kill time, the group decide to hold a seance. They unknowingly unleash a demonic entity from the house's crematorium, which possesses Suzanne, and eventually Angela herself. Naturally, things start to slowly go wrong, and the group finds themselves slowly being picked off one by one on the night where evil is allowed to run amok with no rules.


I can always rely on the 80s to bring me out of the funk that a barrage of bad killer creature features put me in. Well, okay, Grizzly wasn't really that bad of a picture compared to what was to come, but those fishies in the coming days sure did stink to high hell. Anyhow, for something that was mostly thrashed upon release back in 1988, Kevin S. Tenney's Night of the Demons has amassed a nice cult following (and two sequels he has nothing to do with) throughout the years, and I'm happy to finally have gotten around to seeing it. This has been on my "to watch" list for the past two years, but for various reasons never quite made it on (it doesn't help that Amazon.com has the DVD sale price listing at above fifty dollars).


The opening credits automatically gives me hope with a great synthesizer theme, an animated sequence, and the words "Linnea Quigley" being flashed at me. Night's cast of characters are pretty much your typical cast of horror cliches, but they are fairly easy to identify. There's the greaser, the fat guy who looks like one of the Nasty Boys from the WWF, the Asian girl, the black guy, Linnea Quigley (easy to identify since she does love to get naked), and future pet psychic Amelia Kinkade as Angela Franklin, the demonically-possessed villain of the film, among others. Outside of being Rue McClanahan's (The Golden Girls) niece, I think it's a shame that Kinkade doesn't seem to have much else on her resume acting-wise beside these pictures. She's got a certain kooky charm that we can never have too much of this field, and her now-infamous scene of dancing to "Bauhaus-Stigmata Martyr" is so odd, yet kind of enchanting, it really makes you wonder why she indeed didn't get (or at least take) any more offers beyond these projects. This might be one of the reasons as to why I'm so hesitant to watch the remake that came about in 2009, as I just don't think I can buy Shannon Elizabeth in a role like this. As for the aforementioned Quigley, she gets just as much time as Kinkade does, and I'd argue that the film is just as much about her as it is about Angela, but subsequent sequels don't seem to believe so. As time goes by, their "conditions" seem to worsen, and they play it up rather casually, which works well in a case such as this, since possession is usually much more subtle, but in several scenes involving Quigley and her lipstick, you'll end up raising your eyebrows a bit here and there.


Now, I don't want to make this sound like a perfect film by any means, because it certainly is anything but. While the slow build towards any first sign of blood is acceptable to me (I clocked it at fifty minutes), some gorehounds might get a little frustrated and cry foul. The plot is also not the most original either, sharing a lot of similarities to Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead, but this was the 1980s, so it may seem customary for this be a common occurrence. Night of the Demons' final third also stretches itself out for quite a long time, which isn't necessarily bad, but you get the sense that writer Joe Augustyn just probably ran out of gas after a certain point and didn't want the film to be under ninety minutes, so he decided it would be best for the survivors to decide to explore and run around instead of doing anything more remotely interesting, like say, fighting. Angela's puns aren't exactly subtle either, making Freddy Krueger's look smooth. Still, as you can see from the poster above, he wasn't even invited to this party, so to that, I will quote the man from this film simply named "Stooge:"

Hey, I just needed an excuse to talk about how awesome that line was.


I believe Night of the Demons could work very well on a double bill with something like Return of the Living Dead (and not just because both films star Linnea Quigley). Both pictures have a very "rock and roll" vibe to them, as they've both been injected with songs from the punk and metal subgenres (and in the case of this film, assorted band stickers ranging from Exodus to TSOL can be seen in various scenes), don't take themselves too seriously, and are here to subtly remind you to have some fun once in a while. Plus, this picture ties in with the holiday of Halloween itself, which was a nice element that I legitimately didn't expect, but was a very pleasant surprise that only enhanced the good time. A solid recommendation.



Tomorrow, the women are still out for blood with AMERICAN MARY!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 12

After a small coastal town is ravaged with a series of violent attacks linked to groups of large barracuda, an ecologist, a town sheriff, and the sheriff's daughter team up to investigate the attacks. In time, they uncover something much more disturbing and larger than they bargained for.


My sincerest apologies: due to attending an out-of-town wedding, today's post is going to shorter than usual. 1978's Barracuda (also known as "The Lucifer Project," a much superior name) is yet another film released following the success of Steven Spielberg's Jaws. Coincidentally, it was also released in the same year as Joe Dante's "knockoff" Piranha, but has nowhere near the same budget. Barracuda is also the first I've encountered on this year's marathon to be one of the "triple crown" films, in that it stars, was written by, and is directed by the same individual, a man named Wayne Crawford.


And that's about all I can say about this picture, because Barracuda is so utterly boring and bland for eighty percent of its own running time, it gave me nearly nothing to work with for this review. First off, for a movie about killer barracuda, they're barely seen in their own film, considering that most of the film takes place on land. When they are seen, the props look barely finished, and in one shot, I could have sworn I saw a puppeteer's hand in motion. After the halfway point, the barracuda are essentially removed from their own film, and the movie turns into one giant, bad conspiracy theory picture, with several of the products-of-the-70s actors contemplating if there's some deeper secret hidden in this Florida town that they don't know about. One other minor gripe I had which worsened over time was the absolutely unforgivable sound mixing. Perhaps this may been the fault of the print I viewed, but I doubt it. I reviewed the eighty plus old White Zombie earlier on, and that sounded better mixed than this film did.

While Barracuda's twist is admittedly the last thing you would have seen coming, it comes way too late into the picture, and is part of my biggest problem with the movie overall: this is a filthy liar of a film. Barracuda is advertised as a killer fish movie, but in reality is an anti-big business, pro-ecology film. Don't get me wrong, more power to you if you're into that sort of thing. Heck, even I liked Ferngully a little when I was younger, but one glance at a poster such as this, and you're craving voracious killing machines tearing up hapless teenagers and adults in Florida god damn it. Not...whatever this is. So fuck you and your deceiving nature Barracuda. At least Piranha II was honest.



Tomorrow, I'm off to a party with NIGHT OF THE DEMONS!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 11

When two scuba diving students end up missing, the head diving instructor and her new biochemist boyfriend decide to go in search for them. It doesn't take long for the young couple's whereabouts to be discovered, but their bodies have been horribly mangled, and they seem to be the victim of an aquatic animal attack, specifically something that has been inhabiting a sunken freighter near a Caribbean hotel resort. This "something," it turns out, is a new strain of killer piranha, ones who have gained an ability to fly and glide through the air, making them a threat wherever they may be.


If you're reading that synopsis and wondering "Who in the living hell directed this pile of crap?," well that would be one Mr. James Cameron, thank you very much. One of the most successful and heralded directors of all time, this was the man's first real break in cinema, though he might not acknowledge it as such, and Piranha II has a bit of a messy background for that matter. Cameron was originally hired to do special effects, but was then hired as the actual director for the film once the original director (Miller Drake) left the project. And yet after a small amount of time, Cameron himself was fired and replaced by the Italian producer on the movie itself (Piranha II is a largely Italian-based effort). Yet his name is still credited since they were contractually obligated to have an American be cited as the director. Confusing? Absolutely. Thankfully, the Terminator director doesn't seem embarrassed or angered to talk about this project now these days (unlike David Fincher and Alien 3), referring to it as "the best flying piranha film ever made," so that's good to hear.


All of this being said, Piranha II: The Spawning is an absolute abortion of a movie, and no director in the world could make this movie close to good, or even watchable. Roger Corman's presence was sorely needed here since these filmmakers just have no clue about what they're doing here with the small budget they've been handed, and presumably they blew most of it on booking hotels and getting the women in the movie topless or buying them fancy swimsuits. There's some sort of attempt to try and mix in hammy humor too (I can only guess somebody in Italy loved Animal House or films like it while writing the "script"), but it just proceeds to irritate you more than amuse you and ends up making you wish for a quicker death for everyone involved, be it the characters in the film or those writing the comedy. And don't get me started on the piranha, which were rarely seen in the original outside of flashes here and there, but this time around, these are very obviously props, but entry-level props at best. They look incredibly bad, and while they themselves aren't seen a particularly great amount either, their own presence was sorely needed in order to save me from utter boredom, since we don't get any fatalities outside of the opening sequence until about the 45-50 minute mark.


On the plus side, the soundtrack to Piranha II is actually quite decent, and could work well if this were any other film but this one. This was also the first time, at least to my knowledge, that director James Cameron worked with actor Lance Henriksen, who tries the best with what he has as the irritated ex-husband police officer of the aforementioned diving instructor. This idea isn't honestly terrible either, at least when you consider the other amount of inane, crazy garbage out there that exists in the realm of horror, but the execution is just so awfully done, that it is beyond redemption. It might be best to avoid this one unless you're looking to give yourself a headache.


Besides, it can't be the worst movie out there involving killer piranha, can it?

When a resort owner's daughter and her boyfriend go missing, private investigator Maggie McNamara and local Paul Grogan go on a search for her, stumbling across a seemingly abandoned research facility. While snooping around, they unknowingly unleash a new strain of piranha into the river, endangering the lives of everyone nearby.


As it turns out, Piranha II: The Spawning is indeed the lesser of two evils in this case, but I'm suspecting that my mind may change over time. And by "over time," I mean between approximately one day and one week. 1995's Piranha, as you could probably guess, is a remake of the 1978 film of the same name, and like the original, is also produced by B-movie master Roger Corman. For reasons that I'm still not certain of, but can most likely ascribe to boredom, Roger Corman decided that two of his most beloved films produced during the New World Pictures heyday of the 70s and 80s should be remade for Showtime during the 1990s, the other being Humanoids From the Deep. I was actually considering reviewing the latter for this year's countdown as well, as I have quite the fondness its original as well, but legitimately couldn't track the thing down in time, and decided it wasn't worth my time.


Perhaps one may wonder as to why Roger Corman would even bother going forward with a remake of a film he was fairly proud of producing in the first place, and after finishing this effort (a mere eighty minutes long), all I could ask myself was...why indeed? Why bother sit through this, as it does nothing to improve on the original, and in some ways, actually does many things worse than it? True, you get a few recognizable faces here and there (including a very young Mila Kunis), and the blood & gore makeup effects are almost decent enough to be passable, but so much of the film is littered with stock footage of the original, which is inexplicably lazy by any decade's standards. Piranha's script is nearly word for word a copy and paste of the 1978 version as well, doing a remarkable job of into the territory of insulting, and hurting the overall fun factor. The only real difference I could recall was switching the gender of the main scientist who was experimenting on the fish themselves, and that was completely irrelevant. It is also devoid of nearly any and all humor that Joe Dante's original film had, taking itself far too seriously from the very start.


There isn't anything else to say about 1995's Piranha, besides that at least the women are attractive to look at, and the end credits features a god awful grunge/alt-metal band by the name of Uncle Dog Food playing some song about piranha and how they eat you. Ooh, must've taken you guys weeks to write that little ditty. Speaking of the piranha, remember the sound effects of the original film or two when they were attacking? Well, now they sound like dolphins having sex with eagles when they're in a frenzy. Seriously. Unless you're looking for an expensive coaster, or a nice companion piece to something like Hellraiser: Revelations in your "Let's pretend this doesn't exist" value pack, I don't believe you should waste your time.



Tomorrow, the fishes may have their final say with BARRACUDA!