Unseen Terror 2012: Day 5

Two youths make a trip to Tijuana and end up getting into more trouble than they bargained for. They soon meet a stranger who offers them a mysterious box said to hold a gateway to eternal pleasure (and pain).

To answer my question from yesterday's post,

Yes.

Yes it does deserve to be.

Hellraiser: Revelations' existence is due to Dimension having a brainfart. Seriously. The film company realized not that long ago that they were close to losing the Hellraiser franchise after a contractual dispute said they were required to make a sequel to 2005's Hellraiser: Hellworld. Subsequently, this was slapped together in a rush and filmed in only eleven days. Unlike the last four entries, this one is based off of a script that was originally intended to be…a Hellraiser film! Shocking that it took eleven years for us to see this come to be, but also incredibly depressing considering how this turned out.

Revelations is the first film in the franchise to NOT feature Doug Bradley as Pinhead, the iconic Cenobite leader. Instead he's replaced by unknown actor Stephan Smith Collins, who not only looks nothing like Bradley, but can't seem to enunciate without sounding constipated. To be fair, his Pinhead looks more akin to that of a parody rather than the real deal, so I can't completely blame him. Actually no, fuck being soft here. He SUCKS. As to why Bradley himself didn't return, he was quoted as saying "This script is a piss poor pile of piss." Alright alright, he actually didn't like that there was no second draft of said script, and was going to take a significant reduction in pay.

The movie starts off like a "found footage" film, but quickly turns into something that even SyFy or The Asylum would shake their heads at. It doesn't help that our actors' talents are on par with a Uwe Boll film, and the characters themselves and actions they make are pale imitations of characters and actions from the first film in the franchise (Oh! So clever that their last names are Craven and Bradley! How long'd it take to think of that one?). 

A few years back, I remembered hearing rumors of a remake/reboot for this franchise, with directing duties going from Pascal Laugier (Martyrs) to Patrick Lussier (Dracula 2000, My Bloody Valentine 3D), with screenwriter Todd Farmer (Jason X, My Bloody Valentine 3D) writing the script. Though I am vehemently against remakes for the most part, and am not a particular fan of any of those previously named projects, I say go for it. This franchise is in desperate need for someone, nay, ANYONE, to breathe new life into it, and has been needing it for the past two decades. For the love of all that is unholy, restore some integrity by snatching it away from Dimension's greedy claws.

I'm assuming that Dimension cares about integrity though.

Tomorrow, we take a trip to South Korea with THIRST and SECTOR 7.