Friday, October 4, 2019

Unseen Terror 2019: Day 4

Alright, it's the Goosebumps thing again. Let's just dive right in, yeah?








You Can't Scare Me was one of the more amusing Goosebumps books that I can remember, though even when I was younger I recalled it not being particularly scary (ironic I suppose). The tale focuses on two students who make a vow to frighten the seemingly fearless and perfect Courtney by pranking her at Muddy Creek, which she believes is inhabited by "mud monsters" that she herself wrote about in a published story for their local paper. Though this adaptation removes a LOT of the side characters, alters the ending a bit, and seems to be trying its damnedest to make you hate Courtney (who despite showing signs of arrogance comes across as a lot more likeable than our protagonists), it still makes for a fairly entertaining twenty-one minutes. The most interesting aspect of the whole episode is the design of the "mud monsters" themselves, which look like if Swamp Thing hooked up with a melted "monster of the week" from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.







I never got around to reading Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes, so I had the advantage (or is it disadvantage?) of going into this one completely blind. As it turns out, this is apparently one of the least faithful adaptations of one of R.L Stine's works, though I think that some aspects here work a little better than from what I've read about online. The plot begins with a man named Jeffery Burton bringing two rather unpleasant-looking lawn gnomes to his house. Though he has a fondness for gaudy ornaments, his children, having a combination of working brains and decent taste, don't take kindly to them, and his son Joe in particular thinks they look evil. Not long after acquiring them, the Burtons' militaristic neighbor complains of property damage and other mischievous doings, and Joe suspects that the recent purchases could be connected to all of this. Despite a rather fun tongue-in-cheek ending and some surprisingly decent acting, Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes honestly felt a little too predictable and unless you have an irrational fear of "little" people, then it's highly unlikely you'll be able to take anything away from this one.








Say Cheese and Die!, one of the more memorable and celebrated of R.L. Stine's works (the title alone catches most parents' attention whenever I have to take someone shopping in my workplace to the Goosebumps books), is handled surprisingly well, though like most of these episodes, has some alterations which both hurt and help it in the end. The story for this one revolves around a kid named Greg, who while sneaking into a mysterious, older house with his friends, discovers and steals a futuristic-looking instant camera. He discovers that this device doesn't act like a traditional polaroid though, as the pictures that he takes of an individual seem to show what is set to happen to the person AFTER the photo comes out, and that none of these photographs display positive outcomes for them either. Worse yet, its original owner Spidey is now stalking his every move, and he wants his camera back no matter how he has to do it. Tonally, this feels like a lighter predecessor to horror favorites such as Final Destination, though it should come as no surprise that it is far tamer than flicks like that one. The first thing one should notice is the presence of a preteen Ryan Gosling, who is doing a rather admirable job for something that he could have half-assed this early in his career. The second thing is just how undeniably goofy Richard McMillan's Spidey looks and acts. He feels (and even looks like) a more maniacal version of Brent Spiner's character from Independence Day (ironically enough, McMillan would later go on to work with Roland Emmerich in The Day After Tomorrow), with a dash of Tommy Wiseau weirdness thrown in there for good measure. Shame that Gosling's costar Akiva David was murdered several years ago over drug trafficking though, because he's fairly good too. This was easily the best of the three, and one of the better episodes of the Goosebumps tv series that I've watched to date.



And.....that's it. See you again next year Goosebumps....assuming that Netflix doesn't pull you off of streaming like it did temporarily.



Tomorrow, I'm going to be at Monster-Mania Con in Maryland for a day or two, so uh, we'll have something on here, even if the review is likely to be shorter than usual.

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