Man, do I know how to pick 'em or what?
Anyway, this is going to be a bit of a quick one because of the fact that I have to work in a few hours. Plus, with a premise like this one, does it need a lengthy review?
Young couple Steve and Eileen move to a small apartment in New York, and despite the fact that their new abode is far from ideal, it's probably the most affordable one that they can find in early 90s pictures. The only appealing aspect to the place seems to be the refrigerator that immediately catches Steve's eye. Over time, the two begin to realize that there's something a bit off about the household appliance, and it's eventually discovered that not only is the fridge seemingly sentient and prone to murder, but also serves as a gateway to hell itself. So yeah, The Refrigerator.…...suffice to say, this won't be winning any major awards any time soon. Hell, the damn thing isn't even out on DVD (this was another bootleg purchase from Monster Mania). I knew what I was getting into with this early 90s straight-to-video turd. And yet, to my surprise, there's a tiny little part of me that enjoyed this more than I thought I would.
Anyway, despite advertising itself as a ridiculous, gory horror-comedy (at least if you're going by the premise and tagline of "No Survivors. Only Leftovers."), there's more supernatural shenanigans going on in The Refrigerator than one would expect. Its evil influence starts to rub off on Steve, who begins to see miniaturized human beings whenever he opens it and looks inside, and exhibits more aggressive, snappy behavior than usual. Female lead Eileen (played by Heather Graham-lookalike Julia McNeal) has dreams that she's being tied down for a ritualistic sacrifice, with the titular creation "looking" at her, and has visions of fetuses. Oh, and the refrigerator itself frequently leaks what appears to be blood onto the floor, and has a tendency to lunge at and corner people like a mad dog would. This fucking film man.
All of this leads me to the absolute highlight of this fecal waterslide: Juan the Plumber, played to absolute perfection by Angel Caban. Despite looking more like a motorcycle enthusiast than a repairman, he is just marvelously entertaining. Most of the cast in The Refrigerator seem to be well aware that they're in a completely dense horror-comedy, but you can just tell that he's taking the role that he signed on for (assuming he wasn't blackmailed) and going full camp. How this actor didn't receive some additional work, even in other 'B' movies is beyond me. Julia McNeal is a hoot too, but she can't seem to decide whether to try and be serious (the dialogue between her and either her mom or husband is very strait-laced) or to just give up and go with the flow.
Unfortunately, what brings The Refrigerator down quite a bit is how lacking it is in the "kills" department. Again, you have clearly marketed your motion picture as a ridiculous release (that borders on parody) about an appliance that horribly maims and slaughters people, but during its brief running time, there are barely any bodies that are disposed of. I kept thinking to myself that most of its nastier moments were being saved for the final ten minutes, because I've had quite a few experiences during the years of doing this marathon where that's been the case. And yes, the final moments of The Refrigerator are admittedly zany, and give off some Maximum Overdrive vibes, but making the viewer sit through all of the unnecessary melodrama and moments with a gypsy who seems to love spouting statements that she got from fortune cookies makes you question if all of this was worth it.
This is undoubtedly a piece of garbage, and the fact that it hasn't seen a release on any sort of disc format speaks volumes about its quality as a film. Still, The Refrigerator does have its moments of self-aware absurdness that occasionally leads to funny, bloody results. Fans of entertainingly shitty cinema might want to track this one down and grab their friends (along with a few six packs) for a fun movie night, though I'd say that if you search for a bootleg like I did, don't spend too much money on it.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna be at work for a rather long day, but any stress or pain can always be relieved by a trip to Japan!
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