Unseen Terror: Day 4

Before I write this, I'd just like to talk about the most aggravating part of watching this film: Time Warner Cable's internet. Good mother of fucking goatchrist does their internet STINK. Getting kicked off twice because it craps out (and both times were during the climax too) is just inexcusable. Oh well, I rant enough regularly about how much I hate them, so let's move on.




I like the 80s for the most part, but not all of their films. I love stuff like Stand by Me and The Breakfast Club, and most of my favorite action films come from the same decade as well. Shockingly though, I had never seen "The Lost Boys," a widely loved horror film from 1987 starring both of the Coreys and Kiefer Sutherland. I figured this would be an easy addition to the list.

Even though most of you know the plot already, I still gotta describe it for the few who haven't seen it. It follows two siblings named Michael and Sam, who along with their mother, have just moved to the fictional town of Santa Carla, California. Michael falls in with a local gang, mostly due to having a "love at first sight" crush on Star, one of the females in the group. His increasingly shady and eratic behavior causes Sam to become suspicious. With the investigation and advise of so-called "vampire experts" The Frog Brothers, Sam becomes determined to save his brother and prevent him from becoming a true bloodsucking fiend.

I've heard many friends of mine say they love the film, others...not so much. Me? I'm kind of on the fence. There were certainly parts where it excels as an awesome vampire film (the last 30 minutes) and others where it made me scoff at it's 80s silliness (the first 20 minutes film, which are just painful). The acting's a bit hit or miss, but then again, most of the characters are kind of paper thin. The only vampire who I thought was even remotely well written was Kiefer Sutherland, who despite looking like a late 80s WCW reject, was pretty awesome as David, the head vampire. I gotta say though, I dug the hell out of the Frog Brothers, for as little as we saw of them. They remind of some of the weirdos and geeks I'd hang out with, save for maybe their choice in comic books.

I didn't love the film, but I didn't hate it at all. Every time I though it would lose me, it pulled me back in. But then it'd lose me again. And pull me back in. And although I think the end twist was kind of clever, the very last scene was a bit on the "oh come ON" side of things. An okay film, but nothing more. I don't see how or why they made TWO sequels to this.

Come back tomorrow as I go underground with THE BURROWERS.

Unseen Terror: Day 3

I...am the way...



The way to mediocrity I suppose.

Well, I guess that's my intro to...



I must confess, I had never seen the third Hellraiser film, but HAVE seen the first, second and the fourth. This is what many consider to be the point in the franchise where it just starts to get silly. And I can't really disagree.

The main plot follows a young reporter named Joey, who one day witnesses a club goer from a popular nightclub ripped to shreds in a hospital, clearly work of the demonic puzzlebox (though she obviously has yet to discover this). She questions the young lady Terri, who came to the hospital with the kid as to what it is that just happened, and some evidence points to said owner of the nightclub, spoiled millionaire J.P. Monroe. Monroe has coincidentally, purchased a rather familiar looking pillar that we may have seen at the end of Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. Soon, we discover that Pinhead wishes to break free from his pillar, with aspirations to take over the world (since apparently, he's been separated into two different entities following the end of #2, one with no sense of order, and the other being his once human side...not kidding).

The first Hellraiser was brilliant, a beautifully macabre, yet quite smart, British horror film. The sequel was nowhere near as good, but still put forth some effort to keep you intrigued. This one just feels a bit silly. The stupid parts sadly outweigh the good, and having to say "stupid" anything after the fact that the first two were so entertaining is kind of sad. The acting ranges from mediocre (Joey) to just plain bad (the actors portraying Doc and Terri). The decision to push Pinhead and the cenobites right into the forefront, whereas they were more supporting characters who weren't necessarily the villains before, is a bit of a mistake if you ask me. You know how some people say "too much of a good thing is bad?" Yeah, that applies here almost perfectly. Oh, and the new cenobites are TERRIBLE. No sense of fear this time around, just a feeling of "man, that looks fucking stupid." BTW, easily the silliest part in the film occurs at the beginning, where our previously mentioned clubgoer's head explodes, and they cut to show him flatlining. Yeah, because we obviously didn't know he died after his HEAD EXPLODED.

If it sounds like I'm doing nothing but bashing this film, don't worry. I DO have to give praise to two things here: the first being Doug Bradley. Yes, there is a bit too much Pinhead here, but he is just way too much fun to watch. Almost everything the guy says is quotable and he looks like he's having a blast as the character. The second thing is the gore/makeup. This series is always known for having some astonishingly grotesque imagery, and they do a good job with it here. The club scene, with Pinhead taking apart god knows how many people, is pretty awesome.

But overall, I really don't think I could recommend the film. I didn't find myself HATING it, but even the parts I liked didn't really save it either. It's for the best that you stick with the first Hellraiser and maybe the second one.

Tomorrow, I go all 80s and whatnot and look at THE LOST BOYS!

Unseen Terror: Day 2

Day 2 of Unseen Terror continues, and this time, we spend 90 minutes with one of horror's dearest old friends, Satan.


The film follows Samantha, played by relative newcomer Jocelin Donahue. Samantha's a college girl who needs some cash to essentially get the hell out of her messy dorm, and needs said cash to also buy a house. Something most people can relate to I bet. One day, she sees an ad on the local job board looking for a babysitter. Despite some objections from her friend Megan, she figures it couldn't hurt and takes up the offer. When she arrives to her destination (which is also the night of a full lunar eclipse), she slowly starts to discover that something is amiss with her clients.

I first heard of this mostly through word of mouth and through a couple of people I'm subscribed to on YT (i.e. BloodtypeOnline) and it has a remarkably strong word of mouth. Thankfully, the film lives up to the hype, but in a way I didn't really expect. The film is shot, and even looks like, something straight out of the mid to late 70s. It's a lot quieter and slower than what most modern horror fans might be used to, taking it's time to set up it's rather creepy and effecting final act instead of just rushing you instantly into the insanity...so to speak.

It isn't a very bloody film, save for a few parts, but it shouldn't be bothersome to some of the more open-minded horror fans. The acting is quite good too, with great performances from the previously mentioned Jocelin Donahue and Tom Noonan, who most people will recognize from Manhunter and The Monster Squad. It's shot rather well, and features a sparse, but pretty chilling soundtrack.

I was quite surprised by how much I enjoyed this. It definitely isn't for everyone, especially those who can become quickly impatient with their horror, but those of you that are, you're in for a nice treat. Kind of a shame that Ti West ended up following this up with Cabin Fever 2, but even has denounced that mess.

Tomorrow, I go back to hell (sort of) and check out Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth.

Unseen Terror: Day 1

October is one of my favorite months of the year, and not just because my birthday falls on the 11th. It's the month of Halloween, which has grown to be my favorite holiday right behind Christmas and Festivus. So I figured, hey, why not do something different for the month and take a cue from the awesome James Rolfe (a.k.a. The Angry Video Game Nerd on YT) and do 31 days of horror films. But unlike James, I'm going to be reviewing 31 films I've never seen. It'll be a mix of stuff I've been meaning to see for some time, some I'm going to regrettably watch (but moreso just to say I've seen them), and some I'm doing out of morbid curiosity. Let's start day 1 with:




The film's plot is pretty simple. A pair of medical facility employees in Louisville, Kentucky accidentally release a deadly gas into the air of the facility, which soon spreads to a nearby cemetery and reanimates the corpses in the ground. With the help of their boss Burt, the mortician of the cemetery Ernie (hardy har har), and a group of mischievous punk rockers who just so happen to be hanging out in the cemetery, they try to stop the rampaging zombies from overtaking the town, and hopefully not the world.

This is a ridiculous movie, but a real treat for anyone who acknowledges that it is such. It's humor and horror never outweigh one another, and the blood/gore is pretty well done. The acting's a bit hit or miss, but it's forgivable since the script is full of enough fun and funny dialogue to make you forget. The zombies here are pretty damn awesome too, though I imagine some purists will scoff at them running and even talking. Personally, I thought it added to the awesomeness. Another high point is the soundtrack, which is comprised of mostly punk rock/deathpunk songs, but they work pretty well. Might have to seek this out for download later.

I regret not having seen this sooner. I'd happily buy it on DVD or Blu-Ray (if it's available that is) and watch it a few times more. Highly recommended, that is, if you know what to expect.

Tomorrow, I continue with House of the Devil.

Four days of (mostly) hell

Boy, talk about a crazy weekend. One of the more memorable ones I'm likely to have in my lifetime. I'm sitting here listening to "Nervous Breakdown" and that may have been imminent had there not been people to talk to and something else that for Federal Government reasons I won't mention. :P

I realize I complain a lot, so I figure I'll start with the bad before the good. Mainly also because the bad outweighs the good.

Thursday night at the theater was a clusterfuck, mainly due to the Iron Man 2 premiere and our co-manager being an even bigger cunt than usual, which I didn't think was possible. In terms of sheer misery, I think this was actually the worst. I was coming to a strong realization this shit was beneath me and everyone here, minus a few of the younger High School kids, who even if they know better, are such dipshits they deserve to work in crapholes like that.

Saturday evening was aggravating more or less due to being scheduled with an incredibly stupid and lazy female co-worker. Thankfully was let off work early due to overstaffing, and went somewhere afterward for something I'll talk about later.

Sunday, it all came down crashing. All my years or frustration in customer service and retail, were pent up into a ball and came out during a theater cleaning. With the thoughts of "WHY am I doing work like this?" still fresh in my mind, I became angry over spilled drink cups I accidentally dropped, screaming "God damn it!" in front of customers who were let in too early. I went out and told the nearest employee "I'm not doing that right now, this is absurd." I was sent on break as I'm sure my story, which was told by two overweight redneck women to box office, was being taken into account as to determine my fate in the company. Admittedly, I was pretty emotionally wrecked as I went on break. Thankfully, my mother and one of my closest friends helped calm me down a bit. When the evening came to a close, I was told to go upstairs and I pretty much knew what was next. I was told they were going to have to let me go. I'll say what I said up there: I'm making no excuses. I snapped over something stupid and let my anger get the better of me. I could even sense they weren't thrilled to do it, but that might have been due to my manager telling me she had never done this before.

So yeah, my brief tenure with Carmike Cinemas is over. At first I thought, I'm never coming back to any of these theaters again. But I really can't be too pissed at the chain or even the theater, they were just doing their job, and I probably would have done the same if I were in their position. I think my overall feeling, at least as of right now, is GOOD! Folks, retail and customer service jobs suck. They emotionally fuck you up in some way shape or form, the pay is almost always atrocious, and you become generally more misanthropic over time. That last one might actually intrigue some of you though...


But this might be a nice transition to the good. I've worked the past few years stuck in retail, and realize how much potential and time I've wasted. There are so many other opportunities out there for me that I may have glossed over for petty reasons. Time to check some of them out I say.

Okay, that was a long transition. How about this one?




MAUUUUURRIIIIIICCCIIIIIOOOOOOO SHOOOOOOOOOOOGUUUUUUUUNNNNNN RUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAA!!!!

After work on Saturday, I went over to my friend Eli's and David's to catch what I could of the UFC card. I only managed to catch half of the co-main, the main event, and one undercard fight they showed. The co-main was whatever to me, as I'm not a huge fan of either Paul Daley or Josh Koscheck (if I had to pick the lesser of two evils, I'd go with Daley) and Josh pretty much did what he did to Chris Leben in their TUF fight: use wrestling to overwhelm his opponent and keep him from posing any real threat. That sucker punch at the end of the fight was definitely low though, can't say I blame Dana White for cutting Paul Daley over that.

The undercard fight was entertaining too, even though I already knew Jonathan Goulet was getting TKO'd.

But that didn't compare to the main event. I don't remember the last time I've cheered that loud after a sports result. Shogun KO's Lyoto Machida in the 1st round, becoming the UFC Light Heavyweight Champion that most of us already knew he was. I feel bad for Lyoto, seeing as how I think he's a great fighter as well, but I'm sure he'll rebound. But for now, SHOGUN! Made me so happy I actually hugged someone. Seriously.

I also had some Flaming Amy's with my mom for Mother's Day. We both think the holiday is a joke, but hey it gave us an excuse to go to Amy's.

There was also a nice party on Friday night, which mainly consisted of beer, jello shots, and playing lots of Wii. Neato.

Also paid a visit to my friend Laura at her place of work before Saturday's shift of hell. That was nice.



So yeah, all in all, a very interesting week. The feeling of being basically fired is very unique one. It sucks, but you'll get over soon so long as you realize it's not the end of the world. I certainly know I have my remedy for it. But I can't talk about it on here. Lord knows that it + Howl-Full of Hell help though.

The times

They are a changin'.


And lord knows it's time for some reevaluating when it comes to multiple things. What I'm going to do with my life, who I associate with, where I go with these projects I'm working on/with.

I don't know if everything happens for a reason, but I'm damned sure whatever happens will only end up shaping me into something I may have never been before.

R.I.P. Daisuke Gôri

Those of you who know me know I have a long love of the Dragon Ball franchise that spans almost 15 years now. I remember catching it in it's initial 13 episode run on UPN Saturday mornings in 1995. A short time later, I stumbled across a channel called appropriately enough, The International Channel. On said channel, I discovered that they aired Dragon Ball Z in Japanese uncut. There were no subtitles, but it didn't matter to me at the time. I fell in love with the Japanese score and more importantly, the voice talent. One of my favorites was the gruff and oh so entertaining Daisuke Gôri, who played Mr. Satan (pictured below), King Cold, Umigame (the turtle) and a few more.




It saddens me to hear of his passing, and even more so that it was an apparent suicide. His talents and voice will be sorely missed, and the foreign entertainment industry will never be the same. Here are a few notable roles of his besides his work in the DB franchise:

Heihachi Mishima-Tekken 3 and beyond
Bass Armstrong-Dead or Alive
E. Honda-Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie
Dekaruto-Trigun
Shabranigdo-Slayers
Dozle Sabi-Mobile Suit Gundam
Yamazaki-Patalabor

You will be missed Mr. Gori. Thank you for all the wonderful memories. Perhaps there is no better time than the present now for that long planned Mr. Satan costume for Halloween...