Eighteen months have passed since a large battle occurred in Metropolis that resulted in not just the death of Kryptonian overlord General Zod, but massive amounts of property damage and the loss of many innocent lives. At the center of this conflict emerged Superman, a being seemingly sent from the stars who has been equally praised and vilified for his actions during and after the incident. One such critic is billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, who has been acting in secret for decades as the Batman, a protector of neighboring city Gotham. On the flip side, Daily Planet contributor Clark Kent, the human disguise of Superman himself, believes that this masked vigilante is more dangerous than most believe. When Lex Luthor, the eccentric head of a well-known organization bearing his name receives a mysterious green rock found in the Indian Ocean that causes noticeable damage to those comprised of Kryptonian DNA, he believes that the populace can finally be rid of this flying foreigner that has been dubbed a "god" by those the world over. Unknown to him, Luthor's own research is also being sought out by not just the owner of Wayne Enterprises, but by a mysterious woman whose emergence during this inevitable clash has every party involved intrigued.
What follows, however, has suddenly warped what intrigue I had into near apathy that borders on utter disdain.
Before getting into the real gist of things, I'm well aware that there are a good chunk of folks who do frequent or read reviews from this blog who could not care less about this sort of niche, but it could be hard to argue about why Marvel Studios has done this "shared universe" idea far better than their competitors at DC has. You planted the seeds early on, starting off with a runaway success (Iron Man) and ending with a love letter to the golden era of cinema that nobody expected to be as good as it was (Captain America: The First Avenger), all the while watching each flower grow into a beautiful bouquet that you could offer to the general public as a thank you for staying around as long as you had (The Avengers). True, releasing two new films a year and having several television shows from now on is bordering on overkill, but even those will lead into something more grand down the line. Here, director Zack Snyder, along with writers David S. Goyer, and Chris Terrio, make the risky decision to throw all of their own seeds into a pot at once, pour several gallons worth of water on top, and shout "GROW DAMN YOU GROW!" as loudly as they possibly can.
Once casting for Batman V. Superman: Dawn Of Justice began to make the rounds, I couldn't argue with or blame those who were disgruntled over some of the choices. To the shock of nobody in particular, nearly all of Man Of Steel's cast returns (including Michael Shannon) in some way shape or form. Henry Cavill does a fair job as Kal-El again, though I do suspect that he will need to be told to act a bit livelier in future entries. Others are relegated to nothing more than the smallest of bit parts, and those who you may have complained about being underdeveloped in that project...well, stay underdeveloped. I love Amy Adams and Laurence Fishburne, but their inclusion in the story this time feels like an excuse for several deus ex machinas, with the former delivering some very uncharacteristic wooden lines. Thankfully, some of the new cast turns in some fairly good performances. Ben Affleck proves most of his naysayers wrong and makes for a fine Batman/Bruce Wayne, while Jeremy Irons does his best to brighten the mood with a sarcastic, borderline charming Alfred Pennyworth. Heck, even Gal Gadot, for the very short amount of time that she has during the near three hour running time, is quite exceptional as Diana Prince. One newer addition that falls flat on its face is Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network, Zombieland) as legendary antagonist Lex Luthor, who seems to have been written to act more akin to the clownish smartasses of villains such as Spider-Man's Mysterio or Batman's Edward Nigma, failing to come across as truly evil or intelligent, and more or less resembling an irritating henchman with delusions of grandeur rather than a power-hungry madman with a plethora of knowledge and wealth to his name. I don't believe that this was the fault of the actor himself, but rather the mostly atrocious dialogue that was given to him. At least Kevin Spacey's portrayal of Lex Luthor in Superman Returns felt like you were watching a proper version of the head of Lexcorp.
What ultimately kills BvS is the fact that it misses one very important core component: for a movie that costs two hundred and fifty million dollars to make, it is decidedly, shockingly not fun to watch. Whether it's due to the absurd amount of flashbacks or dream sequences, or just the poorly edited and shoddily-filmed skirmishes, the whole experience ends with you feeling rather numb. Mind you, I can relish in films that are bleak, dreary, and even flat-out depressing. Hell, I'll be the first to recommend cinematic punches to the gut such as Requiem For A Dream, Man Bites Dog, Bedeviled, and Lucky McKee's The Woman any day of the week. And don't get me wrong, graphic novel adaptations such as Road To Perdition, A History Of Violence, and Snyder's own Watchmen are, for the most part, devoid of any semblance of joy, but the three adjectives typed out in the third sentence of this paragraph should rarely, if ever, be used to describe a movie based on a series of comic books that have historically been primarily aimed at people of all ages. Merriam-Webster defines the word comic as something "causing laughter or amusement" which to an extent, can be translated into feeling exhilarated. While there is some joy to be had near the end of BvS (mostly because you realize that this nearly three hour experience will be over soon...until the homage to Return Of the King's barrage of endings kicks in that is), and seeing the Caped Crusader, The Man Of Steel, and motherfucking Wonder Woman team up in order to take down a larger threat does bring a brief smile to your face, it just doesn't excuse the rest of the picture for being so utterly banal and humorless. When you find that watching super-powered and masked beings beat the unholy hell out of each other boring, perhaps you need to remember to insert some heart and soul into your sequels next time around. Thankfully, I am still on board with seeing a standalone Wonder Woman flick, though I pray that none of the producers or writers involved with this trainwreck are attached to it.
I groaned and sighed far too much for me to properly recommend Batman V. Superman: Dawn Of Justice to a casual moviegoer, but just because I didn't have a very good time doesn't mean that some of you diehards won't. Most of what sinks Snyder's second entry into this franchise isn't even the changes in characteristics or morals of the titular protagonists (though there is one that I suspect will anger even those who come out praising it), but just a bloated script, mediocre directing, and erratic acting that was far too reminiscent of the dark period of flicks based on comic books. Perhaps there is an inherent problem with your finished product when it makes an unabashed geek such as myself say "You know, maybe I should have purchased a ticket for My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 instead." I believe that your enjoyment of Man Of Steel will fully determine how you feel about this highly anticipated blockbuster as its positives and negatives carried over in spades. If you are reluctant to partake in a visit to your local cineplex, but still want to see a romping encounter between these two icons, I suggest that you track down a number of the DC Animated Movies that have been released throughout the years (or better yet, track down the multipart epic known as "World's Finest" from Superman: The Animated Series). There's a large chance that it will cost you less money, and it's far more cohesive than something like this.
Or better yet, just go watch Deadpool or 10 Cloverfield Lane instead.
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