Let us start with the WWE, since it will be easier and quicker to write about. And speaking of quicker and easier, my own lethargy will help get some of these other categories out of the way.
Best PPV: Summerslam 2013 (August 18, 2013) (even with the last match's victor losing his belt in eight seconds and with it leading to a push down the card)
Worst PPV: Battleground (October 6, 2013) (quite possibly the worst ending to a PPV in years)
Most Underrated: Antonio Cesaro (tied with Dolph Ziggler and Tyson Kidd. Push these people!)
Most Overrated: Randy Orton (not a terrible performer, but horrendously boring and stale this year)
Best Gimmick: The Wyatt Family (the creepiest and most unique promos this company has ever had, despite them not being tremendous performers)
Worst Gimmick: Bad News Barrett (idiotic comedy coming from a very underrated performer. Late WCW-era levels of groaning)
Best Tag Team: Cody Rhodes and Goldust (an astonishing return from the latter)
Worst Tag Team: Ryback and Curtis Axel (two negatives do not make a positive)
MATCH OF THE YEAR:
CM Punk v. Brock Lesnar (August 18, 2013)
The hype and build up to this was more than justified. Lesnar returning to the world of professional wrestling was a good reminder as to why he was so sorely missed: if booked properly, the man comes across as a monster, seemingly incapable of being stopped due to his sheer size, power, and credentials. Well, unless your name is Alistair Overeem or Cain Velasquez. That being said, along with individuals like Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, and the faction known as The Shield, CM Punk helps prevent me from changing the channel during these hard times. Perhaps you can attribute this to his demeanor, look, or honest-to-god great skills inside of the ring. Whatever the case, the resulting match was pure magic, albeit painful, cruel, and grueling. The only disappointment was the ignorance on the part of the WWE to even recognize its greatness during their own "Slammys" program at the end of the year (the borefest known as The Rock v. Cena 2 gets MOTY and this doesn't even get a NOMINATION?!). But sometimes the best matches, regardless of the sport, go unnoticed in the eyes of the corporate head honchos. This is what you should show to the folks who have since given up on this lost art form.
Honorable Mentions:
John Cena v. CM Punk (February 25, 2013)
Daniel Bryan v. John Cena (August 18, 2013)
Cody Rhodes/Goldust v. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins (October 6, 2013)
Daniel Bryan v. Antonio Cesaro (July 22, 2013)
The Undertaker v. CM Punk (April 7, 2013)
WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR:
Total Divas v. True Divas (November 25, 2013)
Is it unfair to put a match featuring nearly every modern WWE "Diva" in this category? Possibly. But it doesn't excuse the match from being a total mess. I could go on a full fledged rant about the state of female wrestling in this company, and how they are clearly frightened to bring in any real talent (excluding "NXT's" Paige and Natalya Neidhart), but I don't feel I'd be saying anything that hasn't already been said. This was just a rushed, stupefying, and all around bad match. From what I understand, the match that preceded this the night before at Survivor Series (with the EXACT SAME TEAMS) was just as terrible, but I was working the night of that card. So this will have to do for now.
(Dis)Honorable Mentions:
Mark Henry v. Ryback (April 7, 2013)
Daniel Bryan v. Randy Orton (October 6, 2013)
Total Divas v. True Divas (any and all other times are acceptable)
BEST WRESTLER:
Daniel Bryan
While I don't believe there was a single person screwed over by a company any worse this year (save for Bellator's Eddie Alvarez), the man still transformed from mid-carder to main eventer and the fans absolutely loved every second of it. Alas, he is back down on the card, but the impact of his ascension has been felt. His "YES!" chants are more abundant than ever, more people (young and old) are talking about him than before, and if you believe the dirt sheets, he's poised for a major match at Wrestlemania that a very select few get to be a part of. I certainly hope that he's back in the title picture again soon, but even if he isn't, he may have been elevated above any title currently in the company.
Honorable Mentions:
CM Punk
John Cena (before you crucify me for this, let it be known that I can not stomach the guy, and think that about 90% of his matches are wretched to sit through. That being said, the man actually had a great year for memorable performances, including matches with the aforementioned Bryan, Punk, Damien Sandow, and the Shield. I await and welcome arguments)
WORST WRESTLER OF THE YEAR:
The Great Khali
I am completely baffled as to why this man is still on the roster. Immobile, sloppy, and embarrassing to watch these days, this former world champion has been reduced to a chest-slapping comedy character, and not a very good one at that. While I'm not completely against comedy in my wrestling, knowing that this man will most likely be confined to a wheelchair makes me more sad than anything, and I wish the WWE would just let the man retire while he is ahead.
(Dis)Honorable Mentions:
The Miz
Ryback
Eva Marie
Well, for all of you bickering and impatient people, the "fake" stuff is done and dealt with. Now, let us move on to the bloodier part of this post: the mixed martial arts awards. Before listing off my choices, I must preface this by saying that I was not witness to every single critically acclaimed bout that took place this year, as my work schedule was very erratic and I value sleep more than I ever did before (having two seizures will do that to you). So Jon Jones v. Alexander Gustafsson will be nowhere on here, simply because I have not seen it. Let's move on before you bite me in the face.
BEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR:
Mark Hunt draws Antonio "Bigfoot" Silva (December 7, 2013)
It is a miracle that both men were still standing and breathing after this war of attrition. What was all the more astonishing was that the former PRIDE FC standout and former Elite XC Heavyweight Champion are friends, having trained together multiple times at the camp known as "American Top Team." Over the course of twenty-five minutes, we witnessed two men refuse to quit, even if their own bodies would give out and their chins would deteriorate into nothingness. Covered in blood, exhausted, and most likely damaged for worse in the long run, this was an incredible bout that could go down as the best bout in the UFC's long standing heavyweight division. The announcement at the end from ring announcer Bruce Buffer of "This fight is considered a Majority Draw" would normally incite wrath from the usually irritable MMA community, but it was a fitting and comforting end to a gruesome, legendary contest, wherein we wanted to see neither warrior lose. The highlight video I have posted above does not do it justice.
Honorable Mentions:
Dennis Bermudez d. Matt Grice (February 23, 2013)
Wanderlei Silva d. Brian Stann (March 3, 2013)
Michelle Waterson d. Jessica Penne (April 5, 2013)
Matt Brown d. Jordan Mein (April 20, 2013)
Gilbert Melendez d. Diego Sanchez (October 19, 2013)
WORST FIGHT OF THE YEAR:
Ovince St. Preux d. Gian Vilante (April 27, 2013)
I'm sure there are more high profile bouts that could end up in this spot, but this one takes the cake due to the sheer incompetence of the referee involved. While the two rounds that preceded round three of this bout were very tepid and underwhelming, the decision to stop the fight due to an eye poke, without giving the recipient any time to recover and regain vision (which is usually customary), was flabbergasting. True, both men have since regained some of their former glory, each going on to win their next scheduled bouts, but this leaves a stain that can't quite be washed away.
(Dis)Honorable Mentions:
Jake Shields d. Tyron Woodley (June 15, 2013)
Rory MacDonald d. Jake Ellenberger (July 27, 2013)
Soa Palelei d. Nikita Krylov (August 31, 2013)
ROUND OF THE YEAR:
Gilbert Melendez v. Diego Sanchez: Round 3 (October 19, 2013)
What, no video you say? Well, you should probably go seek out this entire fight anyway, regardless of which round I choose to shower with praise. The original Ultimate Fighter winner proved he can still throw down and throw caution to the wind if it comes down to it, while the former Strikeforce and WEC Lightweight Champion channeled his frustration following a tough loss to former champion Benson Henderson into a sensational, blood-drawing rage that few had seen before. By the time that the final five minutes rolled around, both men looked like they had seen better days, but Sanchez came back with flurries aplenty, dropping the former champion, and even coming close to finishing the bout. A magnificent display of violence, even if it will most likely lead to permanent brain damage for both men.
Honorable Mentions:
Matt Brown v. Jordan Mein: Round 1 (April 20, 2013)
Ronda Rousey v. Liz Carmouche: Round 1 (February 23, 2013)
FIGHTER OF THE YEAR:
Demetrious Johnson
I'll eat a big ol' bowl of crow for this one. I've never been the world's biggest fan of the man nicknamed "Mighty Mouse," but he sure as hell won me over this year. Tough, fast, skilled beyond belief, and full of surprises, Johnson managed to defend his Flyweight title three separate times in 2013, with each defense being more memorable than the last. There's a special kind of criticism reserved for champions of the old guard, saying that they prefer to play it safe these days and rely on the rather unpopular form known as "point fighting" in order to keep their championships and legacy intact. Johnson is the opposite of such, constantly working for submissions in his bout with John Moraga, coming back from a near stoppage against John Dodson to attempt multiple fight-ending methods, and becoming the first individual to stop the incredibly tough Joseph Benavidez. I can not wait to see him fight again this year, even if he has cleared out most of the division.
Honorable Mentions:
Renan Barao
Robbie Lawler
Chris Weidman
Cain Velasquez
KNOCKOUT OF THE YEAR:
Chris Weidman d. Anderson Silva (July 6, 2013)
This was a rather difficult choice to make. On one hand, it may not have been the flashiest display of technique you'll see, but in terms of awe-inspiring madness, this will stand the test of time. This was the 2013 version of Fabricio Werdum upsetting Fedor Emelianenko, even if the betting odds were nowhere near as wide as that bout was. Silva's aura in the UFC was incomparable, having never lost a single fight in the octagon, and Weidman was coming off a yearlong layoff. It was assumed we'd get one of two things: an easy win for "The Spider," or five rounds of Weidman trying to grind out a decision (note: Weidman is usually a finisher, I'm just going with wrestler logic). This was the type of upset that didn't just make your jaw drop, it stuck with you weeks after it happened. Sadly, I could say the same for the terrifying result of their rematch on the final card of the year.
Honorable Mentions:
Emanuel Newton d. Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal (February 21, 2013)
Josh Thomson d. Nate Diaz (April 20, 2013)
Vitor Belfort d. Luke Rockhold (May 18, 2013)
Dong-Hyun Kim d. Erick Silva (October 9, 2013)
Douglas Lima d. Ben Saunders (September 20, 2013)
SUBMISSION OF THE YEAR:
Josh Burkman d. Jon Fitch (June 14, 2013)
Hard. As. Fuck. And not in the sexual way. It might be the only way one could describe such a shocking moment though. Fitch was still ranked in most people's top ten lists, and was coming off of an unwarranted release from the UFC. On the other end, Josh Burkman was a UFC castoff, having not competed in the organization for four years. The mostly new league, World Series of Fighting, was looking for their first truly memorable moment of the year, and Burkman's cold killer mentality during and after the fight provided them with it. True, infamously inept referee Steve Mazzagatti deserves a wag of the finger for not noticing Fitch was unconscious following the guillotine choke that Burkman applied, but at least Josh had enough sense to let go when he felt his opponent (who he had lost to seven years prior) go limp. This was the MMA equivalent of a Rotten Sound song: short, angry, brutal, and very sweet.
Honorable Mentions:
Rose Namajunas d. Kathina Catron (April 5, 2013)
Anthony Pettis d. Benson Henderson (August 31, 2013)
Michelle Waterson d. Jessica Penne (April 5, 2013)
Erick Silva d. Jason High (June 8, 2013)
ROBBERY OF THE YEAR:
Phil Davis d. Lyoto Machida (August 3, 2013)
If Krusty the Clown didn't describe this perfectly (there is no highlight video for a reason), I'll just state that I partially blame this atrocious decision for my first of two seizures this year, given that not even twelve hours later, I was waking up in the hospital with no recollection of how I arrived. Most judges are still scoring fights based on who presses forward more, or if they even manage to sneak one good takedown into the rather uneventful fray. Sadly, this archaic mindset will probably never fade away, and the sometimes controversial Machida was robbed of a big victory in his own home country. Thankfully, things look up for the former Light Heavyweight Champion as he has dropped down to Middleweight, and looks to begin a new campaign of splitting wigs.
(Dis)Honorable Mentions
Georges St-Pierre d. Johny Hendricks (November 16, 2013)
Francis Carmont d. Lorenz Larkin (April 20, 2013)
Diego Sanchez d. Takanori Gomi (March 3, 2013)
BEST CARD OF THE YEAR:
UFC on Fuel TV 10: Nogueira v. Werdum (June 8, 2013)
Setting the record for "most submissions" in a single event isn't easy to do, but you have to give the Brazilians on this card props, since they went fairly crazy at this event and set the record at eight. True, a lot of these bouts seemed custom-made for easy victories, but entertainment is entertainment, regardless of the caliber of competition involved. Thiago Silva managed to snag his first clean victory in four years, Erick Silva secured a beautiful triangle-armbar combination on the returning Jason High, the Ultimate Fighter Brazil 2 finale bout didn't end up looking like a joke, and Fabricio Werdum showed off his always impressive Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu by submitting the legendary Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, which is certainly no easy task. The crowd seemed to be smiling and celebrating throughout this entire evening, and one certainly couldn't blame them as they were getting their money's worth and more.
Honorable Mentions:
UFC on Fox Sports 1: Shogun v. Sonnen (August 17, 2013)
UFC Fight For the Troops 3 (November 6, 2013)
UFC 168 (December 28, 2013)
WORST CARD OF THE YEAR:
UFC 161
Like last year's recipient (the truly bad UFC 149), this had potential. A proposed rematch years in the making (Mauricio Rua v. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira) and an interim title fight (Renan Barao v. Eddie Wineland) could have made this worthwhile. Instead, a decrepit and disappointing match between Rashad Evans and Dan Henderson drew low PPV buys, and little-to-nothing in the way of fan interest. Couple that with a terrible prelim closer (Jake Shields v. Tyron Woodley did not help draw in skeptics, and may have provided them with a nice nap), and you have the clearcut winner for the worst mixed martial arts card of the year.
(Dis)Honorable Mentions:
UFC 159 (April 27, 2013)
Bellator Fighting Championships Inaugural PPV (November 2, 2013. Notable because the entire thing NEVER ENDED UP HAPPENING)
And there you have it for part one of my delayed, but fairly packed Best and Worst of 2013. In terms of other notable incidents worth talking about from the worlds of professional wrestling and mixed martial arts, I think the WWE Network sounds like a phenomenal deal, and the UFC Fight Pass can bite my scrotum. If there was an upset of the year, I'd say that Daniel Strauss defeating Pat Curran at the Bellator show on November 2nd would be my clearcut winner, though Robbie Lawler defeating Rory MacDonald is a very close second. Come back soon(ish) for the best of the rest, featuring my favorite and least favorite picks in music and movies!
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