Unseen Terror 2022: Post-Marathon Thoughts, Misses, and the Future

Well, enough time has passed since I published my final post for this year's "Unseen Terror," but I figured there could still be something fun to talk about afterwards. I won't beat around the bush here: this was an exceptionally tough list to assemble this time around. Mind you, it had nothing to do with accessing any of these selections (every network seems to have its own streaming service, and physical media still exists for now. Also, Tubi rocks), but finding a way to fit them into a rather tight schedule and muster the energy to write even a half-assed review was especially difficult for me. It's the primary reason as to why I skipped last year's "Unseen Terror," and why I almost called it quits for good before Fall season came around. Thankfully, with the part most integral to this burnout (mostly) gone, I can take a bit of time to put together a nice "bonus" entry or two.

Before I get into my choices that almost made it onto this year's blog, I want to give a high recommendation to Werewolf by Night on Disney+, which I had watched but completely forgot to log on here AND on Letterboxd. Whoops. This was Marvel Studios' first proper foray into the realm of horror (unless you count the Sam Raimi "staples" he stamped all over the second Doctor Strange film), and it's a brisk and bloody romp that one can watch without having any familiarity whatsoever with the MCU. Gael Garcia Bernal is awesome as the titular character and the choice to present it in (mostly) black & white makes for a fun experience that will tickle the fancy of old and new fans of the macabre alike. A very pleasant surprise. If Marvel Studios gave us more works with directors who can have full creative freedom in their hands, maybe I wouldn't feel so goddamn burned out on superhero stuff now.

Now, let me discuss a smattering of the pictures that just missed the mark of making it onto "Unseen Terror" this year:

-Smile (2022). I plan to catch this one the moment it hits home video, as most feedback has been very positive, and it has made an absurd amount at the box office. I am still cautious about hitting up movie theaters on a regular basis again considering that Covid has most certainly NOT gone away and a good chunk of the people venturing out to watch theatrical releases lack any sort of facial covering. That, and ticket prices aren't dropping anytime soon it seems.

-All the Colors of the Dark (1972). I purchased the Blu-Ray for this highly praised Giallo a couple of months ago but setting up my device to play it again (aka my Xbox One) proved to be a bit of a pain. Sometimes I'm just plain lazy folks.

-The Funhouse (1981). With apologies to the late, great Tobe Hooper, I delayed watching this fan favorite in its entirety because of the last-minute revelation that Terrifier 2 was being released to theaters for the weekend. I guess that makes me a poser, but I do plan to go and finish this sometime in the next week though. 

-Jeepers Creepers 2, 3, and Reborn. While I don't adore the first film in this (surprisingly) long running franchise, I do think most of it is fairly okay (when the Creeper sprouted wings, I audibly remember going "ah, he's just another monster"). However, Victor Salva is a convicted child molester, and he won't get a single second of my free time. Oh, and Clownhouse (previously reviewed here) is an awful flick. Fuck him and his films forever.

-The Sonata (2018). A complete "blind buy" from the Dollar Tree, and that was admittedly based off of the cover. That, and it has Rutger Hauer. Maybe once I get my console hooked up again, I'll toss this on.

-Perfect Blue (1998). Undoubtedly my biggest "FAIL" in terms of spacing out my listing properly. I have not laid my eyes on this film since I was a teenager, and I remembered absolutely nothing about it other than it being very intense. This has often been heralded as one of the best psychological thriller/horror movies of the 90s, and a landmark in Japanese animation (and is apparently a huge inspiration for Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan). I also bought the Blu-Ray for this quite some time ago, but it appears to have popped up on streaming service Shudder, so there is no excuse for a delay now.

-Halloween Kickback (2021). I got about ten minutes into this and chose to go with the Trap House movie instead. I believe I made the better choice.

-The Amityville Horror 2-42 (various years). Look, after suffering through the entirety of the Texas Chainsaw and Hellraiser franchises in prior marathons, I am done filling up most of my Octobers with ANY full series. Seriously, how do you milk this one halfway decent (albeit dated) flick so much it produces FORTYONE sequels/spinoffs? I may be off my rocker, but unless y'all promise me some sort of compensation, I will not be taking the plunge here.

And with that, we bid adieu to "Unseen Terror" until next year...............save for ONE MORE post coming soon. Said post will include something that has long been overdue: my listings for the very best and very worst that I've watched over the years of doing this crummy little blog of mine! Stay tuned!