Well, I can't say I expected to be doing this again. As I stated on various social media platforms last year (okay, just Facebook and Twitter), I was very burned out and lacked the necessary focus and honest-to-Lemmy passion to do an Unseen Terror marathon in 2021. I did a little bit of researching and I'd theorize that anhedonia had something to do with it. That, and an incredible amount of stress stemming from both jobs I had at the time and a feeling that it just wasn't worth putting in any effort to continue with a crummy little blog that I barely update outside of October. Thankfully time has passed, and though I am down one job (which was by choice and done for the sake of improving my mental heatlh), I do feel like things are on the upswing. Thus, I would like to welcome the return of said crummy little blog and my yearly journey to watch 31 new horror (or at least horror-adjacent) motion pictures throughout the month of October. I began this hellacious (though admittedly entertaining) process back in 2011. With that much amount of time having gone by, what the hell else is out there that is left for me to discover?
As it turns out, there is a rather large abundance of "important" films in the genre that I could've sworn I had seen but had yet to see in their entirety. Ironically enough though, when it came to finally sitting down and watching 1979's The Amityville Horror, perhaps I had seen this already without actually having done so. I'm not entirely sure a plot synopsis is necessary since this story that serves as the primary inspiration for director Stuart Rosenberg's (of Cool Hand Luke fame) twelfth full-length feature is a rather infamous one within the realm of morbid and/or "spooky" tales. I suppose that if I had to give a Cliffsnotes version though, it would be the following: a married couple (played by James Brolin and Margot Kidder) and their children move into a house where unbeknownst to them a grisly murder took place the year prior. Within a short amount of time, peculiar and horrible things start to occur to any and all individuals affiliated with their new home.
An all-too familiar and frequently referenced plot aside, there are a great deal of positives that lift this film a bit higher than some of its modern contemporaries. The late Margot Kidder is friggin' great (and absolutely gorgeous) and manages to convey genuine terror every time she is ever put in a perilous situation. James Brolin does most of his acting through a lot of grimacing but it's certainly memorable. A large part of the supporting cast lean too much into the hammy side in their approaches to their characters, with Rod Steiger giving a rather "loud" (albeit fun as shit) performance as a priest seemingly cursed by the home after attempting to bless it within the first ten or so minutes of its surprisingly long running time. It isn't going to be for everyone, but I had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face every time that he stepped in front of the camera. He seems to have the absolute worst luck of any human being that I've seen in quite a while, and he just decides to turn it up to eleven at any possible opportunity.
Alas I can't discard the largest flaw that The Amityville Horror suffers from: you don't realize just how much has been lifted from it over the course of forty years and (through no fault of the flick itself) it feels pretty dated and predictable. Hell, just off of the top of my head, I can recall the very first episode of The Simpsons' "Treehouse of Horror" and how it referenced the bleeding walls and the abode itself yelling at the family to leave the premises. The idea of a family living in a cursed home on soiled ground was also explored a mere three years afterwards in Tobe Hooper's far superior Poltergeist. I also feel as though they just didn't seem to attempt any sort of proper wrap-up and the movie ends on a bit of a wet fart. Yes, I am fully aware of the whole "based on a true story" schtick, but still. Sometimes taking liberties can lead to a stronger experience and one that is more fondly remembered.
My nitpicking aside, I did find myself having a thoroughly fun time finally watching this unexpectedly influential flick. At the time of this writing, The Amityville Horror is streaming on Amazon Prime (so long as you have the Starz add-on) and a 4K Blu-Ray release from the rather awesome Vinegar Syndrome is right around the corner. If you've got a couple of hours to kill and like seeing where the seeds are sewn for other, better pictures over the decades to follow, check it out.
And before you ask, no. I am NOT doing this entire goddamn series. I almost lost my marbles going through the entire
Texas Chainsaw series two years ago and have zero desire to do such a thing again (though
The Amityville Karen does sound fascinatingly atrocious).
Side note: since the time of those reviews, there has been one more addition to the aforementioned Leatherface-centered franchise and while I can say it's not as terrible as Texas Chainsaw 3D, it still stinks beyond belief.
Tomorrow, we jump forward to the present for a long-awaited sequel to an October classic that has developed a stronger fanbase than you or I could've ever imagined!
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