Unseen Terror 2013: Day 19

Young Casey suffers from coulrophobia, a severe fear of clowns, and is constantly heckled by his older brothers for it. After their mother decides to travel out of town to visit relatives, the boys decide to visit the circus for a night of fun, where Casey is warned of impending danger by a fortune teller. While the boys are traveling home, three mental patients from a nearby asylum have escaped, and subsequently murder three clowns from the circus. Donning their makeup, costumes, and identities, the trio sets about to terrorize the young boys and make their night a living hell.

While I don't share the same universal hatred and fear for clowns that every other friend of mine seems to, I'm not too fond of them myself. I do recall a memorable summer spent in Ocean City, Maryland watching Stephen King's It with a friend, and having it scare the absolute crap out of me, but outside of that, their expressionless faces and demeanors never really perturbed me. Perhaps watching Doink the Clown wrestle for so long in the WWF nullified that. Still, this one did intrigue me. I like two thirds of Victor Salva's 2001 horror effort Jeepers Creepers, but was wondering why something didn't quite sit right with me the entire time I was watching this.

It was pretty clear that Salva wanted to make something that the younger or teenage market could get a kick out of, or at least be scared of, maybe in the same vein of films like the previously reviewed The Gate. This finished product doesn't entirely work though, due to the relatively flat performances from the three leads (which includes a debuting Sam Rockwell), and the fact that most of Clownhouse's scares feel more harassing in nature than like actual scares. Nothing really ends up happening once these mental patients decide to wear their makeup and clown suits, as there isn't even enough blood to fill up a gallon of milk, and the body count only ends up at a whopping count of two when all is said and done. How this was rated R, I have no earthly idea.

Ah, but then curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to venture to IMDB. As it turns out, Mr. Salva, as interesting as his resume might be (which also includes the 1995 film Powder), sexually abused the lead actor who played Casey in this film (Nathan Forest Winters). He served fifteen months of a three-year term and was released on parole, though Winters came forward again in 1996 after Powder was released, asking as to why Disney would pick up a film by a man like Salva. Since then, the director has had great difficulty finding work in Hollywood, save for the Jeepers Creepers films, which is understandable considering he is a fucking child molester. This unfortunate fact isn't easy to ignore upon viewing the first third of the movie either, given the repeated, unnecessary shots of two of the lead boy actors in the their underwear, or baring complete skin. My guess is that Salva thought Rockwell was "too old" for him at the time, the gross bastard. I felt like an utter pervert in need of several showers after I saw all of the these scenes, and reminding myself of the now-infamous story. You could have cut every single one of these shots out, and nothing of value would have been lost. 

Technically, Clownhouse isn't a bad movie whatsoever, as the camerawork is fine, the score isn't particular weak, and I've viewed far worse films this season, but that stench of pedophilia during its production is nearly impossible to clean off. It puts the ixnay on any potential, real recommendation, even for fans of "killer clown" films, especially since I said that nearly nothing happens throughout its running time. Well, outside of the defenestration of one clown, which is admittedly kind of cool. To companies like Shout Factory, who I'm sure have been receiving numerous requests to put films such as this out on Blu-Ray for future release (the DVD is out of print): don't pay any attention to this one, as Victor Salva doesn't deserve any.

Tomorrow, we're up a decade and getting a littler shakier with THE FRIGHTENERS!