A Thousand Words Review

Literary agent Jack McCall is a talented talker to say the least. He's just managed to sign one of the world's most famous self-help gurus, Dr. Sinja, to a new book deal, even if the enlightened one is one of the few who can see through most of the man's words and lies. Later than evening, a tree appears in Jack's backyard, covered in a thousand leaves. Following some strange incidents, Jack contacts Sinja and discovers that he and the tree are now one being, and every word that Jack says or writes will result in one leaf falling. Eventually, when all leaves have fallen and died, so too will the savvy businessman.


I really used to love Eddie Murphy. Hell, I think most of us did. He gave us more than a handful of comedy classics and fantastic standup specials, but somewhere along the way, I think he just stopped caring about what script he said "yes" to. It's a shame considering that his bad films are starting to outweigh the amount of good ones he's put out (seriously, who wants to remember him more for The Adventures of Pluto Nash than for The Nutty Professor and Eddie Murphy Raw?). It's like they say; Oh how the mighty have fallen. Wait a minute, Eddie Murphy has been awful for quite some time now, so that statement is actually out of date. But then again, so is this film. Yes indeed, A Thousand Words was completed in 2008 but shelved until 2012 for reasons that most likely involve one of the producers (one of them being Nicholas Cage...seriously) having lost a bet. Or perhaps just due to the fact that it isn't very good. Rotten Tomatoes certainly agrees with the latter, as the film currently sits with an astonishing 0% overall rating. That is unheard of.

After viewing the finished product though, I can't say the criticism isn't deserved. The initial concept isn't a bad one, and perhaps with a different lead it could have worked out better. Murphy though, is an actor and comedian who has always relied upon his voice as one of his driving factors behind his success. Removing that is just an absolutely idiotic idea and it shows here. Instead of Murphy being allowed to deliver genuine comedic moments, we instead get an abundance of bad mugging to the camera and crass humor that isn't quite sure who it is supposed to appeal to. The supporting cast certainly doesn't help matters either, and they range from those who don't get enough time to do anything (Jack McBrayer and Allison Janney) to those who are just as irritating, if not more so, than Eddie's character himself (Clark Duke, who thankfully redeemed himself with Hot Tub Time Machine two years after this was completed).

The biggest problem with the film though isn't the completely bland script (if you've seen Bruce Almighty or Click, you'll figure out pretty quickly as to how this will play out, especially since they all share the same writer), it isn't the immensely unlikeable characters, heck, it isn't even the occasional splashes of drama thrown into the mix (and awkwardly might I add). It's the fact that it just isn't funny. Most of the jokes, like I stated before, are just too juvenile or flat out stale. The fact that they even try to throw in a character with Alzheimer's as a moment for comedy is just flat out disgusting too, made even more depressing by the fact that the immensely talented Ruby Dee has to deliver these awful lines.

So yes, this is another one to throw in the "bad" pile for Mr. Murphy, but it isn't too surprising this time around to discover that it stinks. Someone online mentioned quite some time ago that they would love to see our main star team up with someone along the lines of Judd Apatow for a potential career revival/turnaround. I say go for it. After all, better that than teaming up with the director of such classics as Norbit, Ready to Rumble, and The Shaggy Dog again.

The End of an Era: The Dark Knight Rises Review

8 years have passed since the death of attorney Harvey Dent, Gotham City's white knight, at the hands of the caper crusader Batman (though in reality, a select few know the real truth behind his demise). A new terror has surfaced in Gotham, the masked terrorist Bane, along with various associates including the conniving and intriguing Selina Kyle. A retired, broken, and surprisingly close to broke Bruce Wayne reluctantly dons the mask and cape once more to stop the biggest threat the city has ever faced: total armageddon at the hands of a man who can physically and mentally be his equal...



Expectations were high for The Dark Knight Rises, the third in the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy, especially after the monumental success that followed it's predecessor. The fanaticism was even higher, with fellow fans even going so far as to crash internet site Rottentomatoes.com after ONE negative review of the film surfaced. ONE. I can't recall that ever happening with any film. So needless to say, people were pretty much expecting this to be the best thing since...well, since at least The Dark Knight in 2008.


Well, I'll come out and say it isn't going to be a contender for Best Comic Book Movie Ever, Best of the Trilogy, or for anything else similar. However, it is a rather solid and exceptionally well made film, and a fitting conclusion to one of the better reinterpretations and reboots of a popular character. It isn't without some flaws though, as I'll discuss below. I also must apologize if this doesn't come across as coherent as previous entries given that it is quite late as I am typing this.


The returning cast is in top form as usual, with my highlight of the group being the tremendously talented Michael Caine playing Bruce Wayne's loyal butler Alfred Pennyworth. He brings a very emotional, at times desperate, and almost broken performance to the character that we could see developing over the course of the previous two films. Unfortunately, his time is more limited in the second half of the film than I wanted it to be, but I assume that was done so we could be given more time for the new supporting cast.

Speaking of the supporting cast, let us talk about this merry group of misfits. I was beyond excited when I heard that Tom Hardy was being cast as Bane, a character who despite already appearing in a previous Batman film (the truly awful Batman & Robin), had never really been given a proper treatment. I was not as ecstatic upon hearing the news of Selina Kyle, a.k.a. Catwoman, being portrayed by Anne Hathaway, an actress who despite my adoration for, I just didn't see fitting the part. Surprisingly, Hathaway steals the show and delivers the best portrayal of the character that I've seen to date. She GETS it, as simplistic as that might sound. I know some are scoffing and will probably refuse to believe what they're reading, but she really does, as you and the surrounding characters aren't quite sure if she is to be trusted, and are at times in shock from her ability to escape dangerous scenarios with items that one never expected her to be after. Tom Hardy's Bane is also quite good, though I do wish they had made him sound a little more menacing and less like a James Bond villain at times. I understand that may be arrogance coming through more than anything, but it just rubbed me the wrong way. Marion Cotillard is fine too, though her character Miranda Tate did feel largely unnecessary, and mostly just set up a very predictable twist that most nerds and movie news sites frequenters could see coming. Policeman John Blake, played by 3rd Rock From the Sun's Joseph Gordon-Levitt (I haven't forgotten where you came from boy!), is the real star here though. Though a completely original character to the Batman franchise (whoops, that might be a slight spoiler), his performance is extraordinary and reminds you that you don't have to don a mask or have cool gadgets provided by a cool-as-all-hell old black guy to be a hero.


The cinematography must be praised as well, especially in the 2nd act. Gotham feels truly bleak and you do get the feeling that all hope is lost when Bane's plan goes into effect (don't worry, that was pretty much revealed in EVERY TRAILER FOR THIS FILM). You get a real sense of "Shit just got real, REAL quick" more often than not. It unfortunately does take quite a bit for the film to get off the ground though, and I'll admit that up until the 60 minute mark or so, I was enjoying the film, but certainly not adoring it. Some parts of the script as certainly weak as well, though I would largely blame that on David S. Goyer's track record. Yes I'm aware he did the first two films, but he also wrote Jumper and The Unborn, so he certainly isn't flawless either. The ending also might throw some people off, but I expect those not as familiar with Batman comics will largely feel that way.


Lastly, I will say this: whoever has to follow this film up or take over the Batman franchise, is going to have VERY large shoes to fill. I've heard news of a Justice League film being considered (no doubt thanks largely in part to The Avengers being so successful), but I'm not sure I could see this Batman interacting with any superheroes with powers. These films should stay as they are, let us not tamper with their legacy. Perhaps we'll see how well The Man of Steel does, as that could determine the next route DC Comics takes with their properties. But for now, The Dark Knight Rises brings everything full circle and is definitely worth your attention.

Just don't go in expecting the BEST film of the year.



And yes, the Bale "Batman Voice" does return, albeit slightly underused this time. So don't ask me about that if you see me.