I'm choosing to fill a small part of the gray area in my life with random reviews from the realms of cinema, music, and more things that are generally looked down upon by society. And you've chosen to read them apparently.
Young scientists begin work on a...serum...that turns one of them...-
Screw it, I can not convince myself to even attempt to make a description of this film's plot synopsis. Then again, one could even argue with categorizing The Amazing Bulk as not a full-fledged motion picture, but rather a college student's poor attempt at making a superhero parody that began out of a brainstorm fueled by excessive amounts of glue huffing and Angel Dust usage. It's a thirty minute idea that is somehow stretched into an excruciating seventy-five minute long movie, and ultimately feels like it could still have fifteen minutes eliminated from the final cut (with most of that coming from stock footage of missile launches and scenes from orbit that are set to classical music). There was no brand of drug out there, be it legal or illegal, to make this experience anything but, well, fucking bizarre.
Okay okay, if you were to request that I give a sincere explanation as to what in the unholy hell this flick's story even is, I would tell you that at its core, it's the "mockbuster" equivalent of Louis Leterrier's 2008 reboot of The Incredible Hulk, only without the everything. The revelation that most of this picture's budget was spent on designing the cover art posted above would not shock me in the slightest. If your desire was to see a behemoth of an antihero that looked like recently-deceased MMA standout Emmanuel Yarbrough had sexual intercourse with a melted version of the Grimace who spends more time running like a character from an early 1990s Macintosh game than he does fighting, then allow me to disgrace this blog of mine with one capture of the titular character.
Did I scare you away yet? No? Good. Because should you search on noted movie database IMDB (where this pile is currently sitting at an alarmingly low 1.9), one fellow reviewer points out that this was primarily filmed on an iPhone 4. More often than not, absurd statistics such as this would warrant some further research so that I can prove their validity, but in this case, I'm just going to go along with what this person says and agree that it was very likely true. One hundred percent of Bulk is shot on a green screen, with none (I repeat, NONE) of the backgrounds being authentic and making the "Money For Nothing" video look modern. Christ, they even have CGI dogs and Monkeys running around! If this was an attempt at paying homage to noted screen gems such as Who Framed Roger Rabbit or Cool World, then they succeeded with no colors. By the way, before anyone jumps on me with the usual "oh, but they weren't lucky enough to have a huge budget," I would just like to point out that even turds like Manos: The Hands of Fate had the decency to grab real animals for their set, and all they had to promise the owners or tamers was a bowl of food for the creatures to enjoy.
Oh that's right, I haven't even begun to discuss what is usually the subject of fecal waterslides such as these: the acting! Well, given that the dialogue is written by two gentlemen whose credits include promising efforts like Vampire Boys, Gothic Vampires From Hell, and Queen Cobra, it's a given that it would be downright embarrassing. What you'll ultimately take away from every single character (other than they're self-aware that they are in a flick made for approximately the same amount that it would cost to purchase an HD TV) is that they are doing their best to turn up the volume of their roles' stereotypes to a clear eleven. The man portraying our Bruce Banner is just as bland as Eric Bana was in the 2003 Hulk, and even Bulk's antagonist, who may or may not be Adolf Hitler, is as over-the-top as one with working eyesight could ever imagine. Every performer also seems to be walking or running as if they were on a treadmill or partaking in those old green screen skits that you would see on Late Night With Conan O'Brien.
Should an afterlife truly exist, I am thoroughly convinced that there is a special place reserved for films of this ilk in the deepest, most pain-inducing bowels of hell. Do not be fooled by its promise of comparisons to that masterpiece of trash known as Tommy Wiseau's The Room. Yes, its unbelievable badness does almost warrant a one-time viewing, but pictures such as the latter, along with numerous cream of the crap winners in Grade-Z cinema like Pocket Ninjas and Shark Attack 3 will sooner find themselves sitting in heaven than this ever would. This 2010 work, which took an additional two years to see distribution for anyone that enjoys torturing their children, is available for streaming on Amazon Prime and sitting at the bottom of that dumpster a few blocks away from your apartment or house.
Enter at your own risk, and know that you will be in my thoughts should you decide to take the plunge.
With her career as a writer having gone down the drain, and being reduced to living in a dilapidated-looking house, Eva Khatchadourian reminisces about a more complicated time in her life. Through a series of flashbacks, we learn of the woman's reasons for life having declined so quickly. Many years ago, Eva and her husband Franklin welcomed their firstborn son Kevin into this world. As they raise him throughout the years, Eva starts to notice very unusual things about the young man: he shows apathy towards any of his mother's attempts at bonding, and more notably, begins to display signs of hostility towards others and his laterborn sister Celia. As time continues to pass by, Kevin's behavior becomes gradually worse, and not even his own family can prepare themselves for what is to come.
Perhaps one Dr. Samuel Loomis had this figured out from the beginning:
Folks, I think that it might be time to shut down this year's marathon. Without trying to hype up We Need To Talk About Kevin too much, I don't see how any other film that I have selected for viewing will come close to rivaling director Lynne Ramsay's adaptation of the controversial work of fiction that bears the same name. Also, I'm well aware that this technically qualifies as a 2011 feature, but save for one, singular theatrical release, those of us who live stateside didn't get a chance to catch the entire product until May of 2012. Thus, it shall serve as that year's entry. Deal with it.
The question about whether We Need To Talk About Kevin should be categorized as horror is something that will spark much debate among those who show any interest in it in the first place. Personally, I view this is as a piece of psychological terror lead by outstanding performances from its cast, each of whom understands their figure perfectly and is capable of fleshing them out more than most flicks that fall into the very hit-or-miss "troubled kid" genre. Then again, it also deals with far more interesting concepts that keep it from falling into that pit with no way out, such as the ideas of nurture v. nature (The Omen and Rosemary's Baby are a little more upfront about these type of things). We see that Kevin's own mother Eva, played by the amazing Tilda Swinton (Burn After Reading, The Chronicles Of Narnia), is far from a perfect person herself, showing random tiny bursts of displeasure at the boy's own problems which are inevitable when you are young. And yet, there are far more numerous moments of cruelty committed by her son over the years that make the audience question as to how many of his actions are truly inherent.
It's a scientific fact that the aforementioned Swinton is rarely bad in anything that she signs on to, and it is very easy to see why she nominated for a Golden Globe that she arguably should have won (because how many god damn awards does Meryl Streep need?). The titular child is portrayed by three different players: one while he is an infant, one while he is in his preteen phase, and finally while he is stuck in the oh-so-fun high school years. I can't say anything about the former since all the baby does is cry repeatedly, but the other two cast members are powerfully creepy. Having discovered that Ezra Miller (The Perks Of Being A Wallflower), who plays Kevin at his oldest, will be donning the costume of Barry Allen/The Flash in the upcoming Batman V. Superman: Dawn Of Justice does give me a very small amount of hope that the film won't be an inflated mess, even if I think he would make for a better villain than a superhero. John C. Reilly also has a supporting role as seemingly the opposite of Swinton's Eva; a man who just seems far too content or blissfully ignorant to notice the signs that something could be quite amiss with his offspring. Truth be told, there isn't a bad acting job whatsoever in We Need To Talk About Kevin, even from the extras in the background whose whole motif seemed to consist of "act shocked and/or heartbroken." From what I understand, Ramsay decided to take up this particular project after multiple attempts at helming/filming The Lovely Bones didn't quite work out, but after having seen her pull such good performances from this group of talented people, I hope that she is allowed to head more productions that weren't her first choice to begin with.
Some motion pictures, no matter the classification, have the potential to genuinely bother or haunt you. Be it through actions of the characters, actors and actresses fully immersing themselves in their roles so well that you forget who they are when the cameras stop rolling, or just due to a great soundtrack (composed by Jonny Greenwood of Radiohead), symbolism, and cinematography, these are the films that we will be discussing for great length after they have wrapped. Even after all of the praise above, I'm STILL not sure if We Need To Talk About Kevin should be defined as a pure horror movie, but it's one of the few flicks that I've watched this month that nearly left me emotionally crushed and disturbed. If you're looking for honest-to-god discomfort with your scary movies, or a character study that can remind you of works of the past such as Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer, then I strongly urge that you seek this out as soon as you're done reading the last of these typed sentences. The Cannes Film Festival standout can currently be viewed for free on Amazon Prime, and is readily available for purchase on DVD and Blu-Ray.
Tomorrow, WWE Studios make a return to Unseen Terror. But while their attempt at rebooting a lousy franchise failed miserably, perhaps one of their own original concepts could work better...
Unconfident and overly stressed, Keiko, the daughter of a world famous chef, runs from her father after feeling that she can not deal with his strict training regime on how to better her preparation of dishes. Soon thereafter, she finds herself working in a rural hotel doing menial work, constantly bullied and maligned by her superiors and the frequenting guests. When the president of a pharmaceutical company and his entourage stop in for dinner, a former researcher for the man also decides to pay a visit, vowing revenge for his ousting years prior. This retribution comes in the form of a serum designed to bring dead material back to life.
Do you remember what I said about select motion pictures being immune to criticism and legitimate reviews? Well, this statement can be applied to nearly every work spearheaded by eccentric Japanese oddball (and former adult movie director) Noboru Iguchi. Outside of the porn industry, his filmography primarily consists of works that are clearly not meant to be taken seriously, and mean to just entertain its audiences through sheer insanity. In that sense, works such as The Machine Girl and his horror-comedy Dead Sushi are closer to foreign versions of Troma Entertainment movies. And that's exactly what the latter does in wonderfully wacky fashion.
And in terms of what does this certain Japanese picture help stand out and earn the definition of being called "wacky?" For starters, before the carnage kicks in (and even during it), we're treated to several legitimate fight sequences between our head chef and several antagonists that aren't cooked with rice or fish. These scenes are remarkably well-choreographed when you consider that this is supposed to be a cheap, dumb little splatter picture. Though they may hail from different countries, it wouldn't surprise me whatsoever if Iguchi-san is secretly a fan of Stephen Chow or Jackie Chan, since every battle feels as authentically funny as it does look cool. Oh, I did say cheap above, did I not? Well, unlike a lot of other pieces in this field, Dead Sushi's lackluster CGI and often cheap-looking stop motion animation often make up part of its charm.
In between this crazed food frenzy (I know, I know), there is almost a heart beating underneath. Female chef Keiko's plight and frustrations with never being able to live up to expectations from her family are completely identifiable, if not a tad bit exaggerated when you see the training that she has to go through in order to become a true expert at constructing the cuisine (if this is how it's actually done, then I am very sorry). Before you get too easily led astray, the narrative doesn't forget about your wants and needs, and gives us moments such as a man eating a (literally) spiked tuna roll and another person's skin being torn from both sides of his face by a squid and tempura roll. Director Iguchi seems completely intent on not just filling in the blanks with a few gross or over-the-top pieces, but with one-upping himself after every few minutes or so. It makes for charming stuff, though it does begin to run out of steam towards the climax. It goes into full blown "anime" mode, and while as equally entertaining (if not a bit asinine), it feels like taking several shots of espresso after coming down from a very drunken, painful high.
During one scene involving the intercourse of two pieces of sushi which produces a mass explosion of sushi "babies," one survivor manages to utter the sentence "Things have reached the point where they don't make sense!" If that isn't this movie to a tee, then I don't know what is. It will either convince you to start living a vegan lifestyle, or make you more hungry for seafood than you've ever been in your entire life. After watching an extra on the DVD, wherein a tiny Austin, Texas crowd gathered at the yearly Fantastic Fest for a sushi-eating contest involving often-maligned (and quite frankly disgusting) ingredients, I'm willing to bet it could be an odd mixture of both. Still, it's watchable, and a lot of fun for those with a demented mind and a big group of likeminded friends.
After all, anything with a piece of egg salad sushi that sings and spits acid has to be worth at least a quick glance.
Alcoholic police officer Ciaran O'Shea is unhappy with his newly assigned partner Ms. Lisa Nolan, a workhorse who has transferred to his remote Irish island. After receiving a distress call about numerous whale corpses having washed ashore, and later with the disappearance of numerous townsfolk, the Gardai, alongside an English marine ecologist, discover the culprits of these attacks: giant blood-sucking beasts that have emerged from the sea. Whilst dealing with the monsters and wondering how to protect the island, the team come to a rather peculiar conclusion thanks to the "town drunk" on how to fend off and repel these invaders, and it may involve mass consumption of a familiar substance.
Speaking of taking shots, if Dead Sushi was today's selection for dinner, then Ireland's Grabbers serves as a fairly nice dessert. No, wait, it would be more appropriate to call this a strong pint or three to go along with your meal. I first became aware of this oddball horror-comedy thanks to the now-defunct, brilliant, and sorely missed Spill.com. A mention of this being the foreign equivalent to the 1990 monster flick Tremors caught my attention almost instantly, though I've heard that statement more times than I've ever cared to. True, that also drew me to a movie I like and now own in The Burrowers, but in the end, I feel that I will forever be a natural skeptic.
Even to the blind and/or deaf populace, it's fairly obvious that Grabbers was strongly influenced by Tremors, and unabashedly more so than the American-made The Burrowers ever was. It wears its adoration for the cult movie on both sleeves, and don't be offended if you can pinpoint specific scenes that were structured to be eerily similar to the franchise that introduced us to the underground creatures dubbed "Graboids." Hell, even the nickname given to the beasts is similar! But as I've said before, this isn't a ripoff as much as it is a love letter. Helping out is the recollection that the Irish possess a very underrated (and often unappreciated) sense of humor. Because of this, and I'm going to sound just a wee bit blasphemous, I actually found Grabbers to be slightly funnier than its forefather. *gasp*
Cast-wise, there aren't as many people that you'd have to worry about caring for since most of the film focuses on the duo of Ruth Bradley and Richard Coyle (who could be mistaken for Andy Serkis in another life). The latter doesn't lack any wit or intelligence, even if he is often mistaken as just a typical, sad drunk who lost most of what made him happy in life. His partner, the lovely Ruth Bradley, is fairly plain jane until the time comes for her to partake in drinking (around the latter half of its running time), thus breaking her free from a life of sobriety. After that, many of the movie's best and more memorably hilarious lines come from her slurring, silly childish charm. Don't worry though, because despite the fact that it is clearly stated that beer and whiskey help stave off any harm from these tentacled nightmares (don't get angry, it's in the bloody description box on Netflix), I'm almost certain that this movie does not encourage rampant drinking or alcoholism.
My gosh does it encourage wanting a baby grabber toy though. Well, that's what I came away with. Mind you, I don't care to own the real thing, since they'll try to feast on you and suck your blood. But a plush toy sure would be grand. Oh crap, I got sidetracked for a moment there. Well, erm, where was I? Ah yes. Grabbers certainly isn't going to go down as a classic by any means, but it's the furthest thing from bollocks and I could see some of the more uptight modern horror fans (the ones who claim that there's nothing good out there anymore but aren't looking hard enough) enjoying it too. Jon Wright's alcoholic monster mash makes for a jolly good time considering how much was done well with a paltry budget.
And perhaps I'm biased, but any motion picture that suggests feeding a priest to a monster because "unless it eats shit, it'll choke to death" gets an automatic three stars from me.
Tomorrow, it's time to enter into a two-on-one match with wrestling-themed horror films Overtime and See No Evil!
Given a routine job by an anonymous source, a small time group of criminals plan a burglary wherein they'll break into a house, steal a single video cassette tape, and be given a large sum of money for its capture. The very evening of the break-in, the men discover that the house's sole occupant is deceased, and while traversing the contents and assorted rooms of the house, decide to individually watch the collection of unmarked cassette tapes lying by the man's side, discovering more found footage and tales than they ever could have wished for.
Oh, the wonderful world of hype. It has often driven us towards (and just as much away from) many forms of films and musicians. And even though V/H/S has only been out for approximately less than two years, it feels like its own hype has surpassed it and given the film a longer shelf life and bigger reputation than it actually has. Demand has even garnered a limited release on VHS itself, something unheard of in this day and age due to the very, VERY small demand for video cassette tapes. Not even two or three weeks ago, its own sequel was released to DVD and Blu-Ray, which seems unusually quick for a film that is still technically considered a 2012 release.
I love a good anthology film, that much is known by those who have previously read the past two editions of Unseen Terror. I also don't completely despise the found footage genre, and am willing to see what happens when you combine the two into one film. But it always breaks my heart when I bear witness to one motion picture that ends up being a real mixed bag by the end of the day, and it felt like V/H/S had a bag that was overflowing by just a tad bit. The first tape (none of these segments are given official names until the credits) was arguably my favorite, which is usually a rarity for these type of movies, as they tend to save the best for last. The characters are a tad bit over the top, but newcomer Hannah Fierman is just fabulously creepy, reminding me of a younger version of Angela Bettis in terms of looks, though we obviously didn't get to see enough of her acting chops with the role she's given here. The most recognizable name attached to the film, Ti West (House of the Devil, The Innkeepers) directs tape number two, and I was actually disappointed by how basic his story turned out to be. It starts off feeling like your standard Ti West story: there's a slow build, a quiet tone, and a female lead, but the ending makes you go "Oh, yeah I saw that coming." I would have preferred seeing West direct the main story of the criminals and their break-in of the house that surrounds V/H/S, and let someone else tackle his own tale instead.
After these two tapes have been "finished" by our criminal protagonists (not exactly the most personable of guys mind you), we're left with three more cassettes to finish, excluding the main segment, which may or may not be being filmed itself for future use and collection (don't worry, not spoiling any plot points). Without giving anything major away, tape three was tolerable, only because it was an homage to the slasher genre, albeit crammed into thirty minutes or less. It was obviously rushed, but its use of tracking errors on the first person view really tends to screw with your mind, so much so that you're not quite sure if the killer is even real (perhaps a nod to a certain type of slasher film?). This brings me to one particular segment that I wish wasn't real: tape number four. Good lord did I HATE this. Boring beyond belief doesn't begin to describe this one. Dull, nay, DEAD acting, littered with a myriad of "Oh! Did you see that?" type of dialogue, scares obviously meant for the paint chip-eating crowd, and a just plain ridiculous plot twist. If you've ever wondered about how a horror movie would look if it were made via Skype or video chat, and said to yourself "Ryan, that sounds absolutely stupid," this is that segment. An absolute waste of time, and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies.
V/H/S' final tape does bring the film back up a notch by being a good deal of fun by sending us back to the late 90s and involving a haunted house (anything had to be better than tape number four), but that ultimately left me saying to myself "Well, the bread was great, but the contents inside were kind of just...okay." True, the video scramble/static special effects they scatter throughout the film (any people old enough to remember VHS tapes know about this) are a nice touch, as is deciding to cast a largely unknown group of people to add to that "real" factor, but I just didn't come back loving this as much as I would have liked to. I won't be opposed to tracking down the sequel, as I hear it is far and away superior to the original, but I don't know if I'll be in a hurry to buy into the "hype" twice in a row now.
Tomorrow, we're beginning a mini-creature feature marathon with GRIZZLY!
As I stated a couple of posts ago, 2012 has been one heck of an interesting year. Mercifully, the rest of this year's picks, be they good and bad, can be wrapped up in this one post as opposed to several. First, I present my picks for the best and worst in mixed martial arts for 2012. If this doesn't interest you, skip down for movies and the like.
BEST CARD: UFC 144
For the first time in twelve years (not counting the "crossover" with PRIDE FC in 2003), the Ultimate Fighting Championship returned to the land of the rising sun, and in terms of entertainment, it didn't disappoint. For once, the crowd was respectful and rarely booed, most likely due to Japan's respect for the art of combat and them not being adjourned in atrocious apparel. There were plenty of memorable moments in this one, including former PRIDE stars Takanori Gomi and Mark Hunt scoring huge wins, a new lightweight champion being crowned (in a great bout too nonetheless), another highlight reel addition from Anthony Pettis via first round headkick, Quinton Jackson's slam on Ryan Bader (despite the fact that he still lost), and Tim Boetsch's come from behind victory over dominant Yushin Okami. The organization has scheduled a return to Saitama Super Arena for March, with Wanderlei Silva v. Brian Stann headlining and Diego Sanchez v. Takanori Gomi/Stefan Struve v. Mark Hunt on the undercard. I for one, can't wait, and will be requesting off of work to watch it in all its glory.
Honorable mentions: UFC on FOX 4 UFC 142 UFC on FOX 5
WORST CARD: UFC 149
Despite a rather solid undercard, the bad far outweighed the good with this one, especially when you consider what COULD have been on this card. Let me show you some of the bouts canceled due to injuries and/or schedule conflicts...
Jose Aldo/Erik Koch
Michael Bisping/Tim Boetsch
Yoshihiro Akiyama/Thiago Alves (later changed to Alves/Siyar Bahadurzada, also scrapped)
Mauricio "Shogun" Rua/Thiago Silva
Bibiano Fernandes/Roland Delorme
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira/Cheick Kongo
While the finalized main card did have its fair share of stars among MMA die hards, it paled in comparison. So did the fights. Outside of Matthew Riddle/Chris Clements, there wasn't much to salvage from them. Hell, even the interim bantamweight title fight between Urijah Faber and Renan Barao was average at best. I'd advise staying far away, unless you need a good night's sleep. You know your event is bad when even Dana White is blasting it, comparing it to the infamous UFC 33, despite drawing a record gate.
(DIS)HONORABLE MENTION:
ALL Canceled Strikeforce Cards
Easy target, I know, but jesus, did you see those things? Nobody even seemed upset when they announced that they were scrapped, and for good reason.
BEST FIGHTER: Benson Henderson
In this category, nobody else really came close. Benson hasn't lost once inside of the UFC, and only has one (admittedly) close defeat under Zuffa employ. While I'll admit that I think he lost the second bout with Frankie Edgar, his deconstruction of Nathan Diaz and the first Edgar fight helped secure him the spot this year. I look forward to seeing what new challengers await the lightweight king, be they from Strikeforce (Gilbert Melendez), the UFC (rematches with Cerrone or Pettis), or elsewhere (Eddie Alvarez). He still won't be able to elicit an "AMEN!" from me however.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: Jon JonesJoe Lauzon Chris Weidman Dustin Poirier
WORST FIGHTER: Jason "Mayhem" Miller
I neglected to do this category last year, but this is a new year now, and I'll be more than happy to add this to the negative categories. It pains to start with someone I genuinely like so much though. From losing to C.B. Dollaway (REALLY?!), to his release almost immediately afterwards, to his bizarre appearance on the MMA Hour, to being arrested for breaking into a church (and being found nude no less), to starring in a movie with Kevin Fucking James, this was not a good year for Mayhem monkeys. While he himself has admitted to turning in weird performances all around this year, it still doesn't excuse the consistent crappiness that we had to bare witness to. Better luck in your future endeavors Jason.
(DIS)HONORABLE MENTIONS: Steve Cantwell (while he may have only fought once this year, he is still the first fighter to have five STRAIGHT losses inside of the cage in the organization's history) Bob Sapp (do I really need to explain this one? Go watch any fight of his from the past three years)
BEST FIGHT: Chan-Sung Jung def. Dustin Poirier (d'arce choke, Round 4)-UFC on Fuel 3
Ladies and gentlemen, a star is born. Or more born. Fuck it, proper and incorrect terminology withstanding, this was outstanding throughout every round. I only wish I hadn't been so lazy to drive to the event myself, given that it wasn't too far from where I grew up. The hype for both featherweight contenders was very much real and the tension about who would come out on top was palpable. In the end, it was the man nicknamed "The Korean Zombie" who emerged victorious after sixteen minutes of madness, and surprisingly, it was by the preferred technique of the challenger. Jung should be returning from injury very soon, and the talks of him earning a title shot against the winner or Jose Aldo/Frankie Edgar are still fresh in everyone's minds.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Joe Lauzon def. Jamie Varner (triangle choke, Round 3)-UFC on FOX 4 Jim Miller def. Joe Lauzon (Unanimous Decision)-UFC 155 Sarah Kaufman def. Alexis Davis (majority decision)-Strikeforce: Tate v. Rousey Miesha Tate def. Julie Kedzie (armbar, Round 3)-Strikeforce: Rousey v. Kaufman
Before anyone crucifies me by the way, I sadly did NOT see Erick Silva v. Jon Fitch from UFC 153, though I have heard tremendous reviews of the bout itself.
WORST FIGHT: Cheick Kongo def. Shawn Jordan (Unanimous Decision)-UFC 149
This fight was bad and you should feel bad. If you're into watching Cheick Kongo clinch for fifteen minutes and receive payback for all of the groin strikes he's dished out throughout his career, this might be for you. Otherwise, you're better off taking a shit in your hand and eating it. I despise booing in mixed martial arts settings, but every boo was completely warranted here, and I hope I never have to watch Shawn Jordan on a main card ever again.
(DIS)HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Yushin Okami def. Alan Belcher (Unanimous Decision)-UFC 155 Ronny Markes def. Aaron Simpson (Split Decision)-UFC on Fuel 1 Gray Maynard def. Clay Guida (Split Decision)-UFC on FX 4 Bob Sapp v. the world
ROUND OF THE YEAR: Ivan Menjivar v. John Albert (UFC on Fuel 1)
While I admit that the headline fight of Diego Sanchez v. Jake Ellenberger was a damn good fight in its own right, this bantamweight scrap stole the show for me, and showed why more often than not, the smaller fighters put on the most entertaining affairs. Within these three minutes and forty six seconds, we witnessed everything that makes for a memorable war: submission attempts, solid exchanges on the feet, and a good old fashioned comeback victory. Watch this while youtube still has it up, I implore you.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: Donald Cerrone v. Melvin Guillard (Round 1)-UFC 150 Eddie Alvarez v. Patricky Freire (Round 1)-Bellator 76
BEST KNOCKOUT: Edson Barboza def. Terry Etim (Spinning Wheel Kick, Round 3)- UFC 142
The first spinning wheel kick knockout in UFC history, with Etim's body going stiff serving as the sprinkles on top of the cupcake. I'd spend more time talking about this one, but just watch it for yourself.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Nick Denis def. Joseph Sandoval (Elbows, Round 1)-UFC on FX 1 (HELLBOWS REIGN SUPREME) Siyar Bahadurzada def. Paulo Thiago (Punch, Round 1)-UFC on Fuel 2 (there's a reason his nickname is "The Killer") Andrew Craig def. Rafael Natal (head kick, Round 2)-UFC on Fuel 4 (a come from behind kick of death) Ryan Jimmo def. Anthony Perosh (Punch, Round 1)-UFC 149 (one of the five fastest knockouts in UFC history) Lyoto Machida def. Ryan Bader (punch, Round 2)-UFC on FOX 4 (only made better by Lyoto's bowing over Bader's body) Cung Le def. Rich Franklin (Punch, Round 1)-UFC on Fuel 6 (painful for the older fans to watch, but incredible for highlight reel fans) Nate Marquardt def. Tyron Woodley (punches, Round 4)-Strikeforce: Rockhold v. Kennedy (because walkoff KOs are always worth mentioning)
BEST SUBMISSION: Demian Maia def. Rick Story (neck crank, Round 1)-UFC 153
I'm going to let a bit of my fanboy slip out here, but this one made me personally happy, as I think Story and his camp are comprised of meatheads and bullies, and I'm a big Demian Maia fan. It took the BJJ wizard only two and a half minutes to lock on a nasty neck crank from behind, causing enough pressure to make Story's nose drip blood. It seemed as if life itself was being squeezed from the former top 10 welterweight, and it helped Maia earn his first submission win since 2009. Beautiful in its brutality.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Charles Oliveira def. Eric Wisely (Calf Slicer)- UFC on FOX 2 Dustin Poirier def. Max Holloway (mounted triangle armbar, Round 1)-UFC 143 Matt Wiman def. Paul Sass (armbar, Round 1)-UFC on FUEL 5 Rani Yahya def. Josh Grispi (north-south choke, Round 1)-UFC on FOX 4 Vinny Magalhaes def. Igor Pokrajac (armbar, Round 2)-UFC 152
BIGGEST ROBBERY: UFC 151: The Card That Never Was
True, the card wasn't likely to draw record numbers, and featured a myriad of fights that were probably best left on undercards of free television events, but this still sits with me as the biggest middle finger of the year. Jones/Henderson was a captivating bout on paper, and would've been the true definition of old lion vs new breed. Instead, the younger fighter and champion refuses to take a short notice fight against late replacement Chael Sonnen (a blown up middleweight) and effectively, helps get the card canceled. While I don't place all of the blame on Jones and his camp, and I'm somewhat intrigued by the upcoming Jones/Sonnen season of The Ultimate Fighter, it was still a disappointment to hear that the card had been scrapped.
That does it for the MMA portion of 2012. Now, we move on to movies, movies, and movies. Unfortunately, there were a good portion of films that I missed in 2012, so this list might not be full of future oscar winners. Naturally, I don't give a shit, as these are just the five films I enjoyed the most this year, and five that I wish I had never even batted an eye towards.
An honorable mention must be given to The Raid: Redemption, an absolutely insane martial arts film that deserved all of the praise it received from fans, and featured the best fight sequences I've seen since Kung Fu Hustle from 2004. Had the story not been so basic, I think it might have made the list, but it is my only complaint about this otherwise immensely entertaining picture. I ask you to count how many times you exclaim "Fuck!" or "Oof!" during its running time.
5. Chronicle
Debuting director Josh Trank knocked it out of the park with the closest thing we're going to get to a live-action Akira, the severely underrated Chronicle, a unique take on what happens when three friends gain telekinetic abilities. The concluding twenty minutes alone deserve a spot on this countdown, and should make most big name "action" directors take note on how to do a finale properly.
4. Last Days Here
I'm very picky with my documentaries these days. While you can admit that this is favoritism at its worst here, it doesn't change the fact that this was often times tough to get through, but with such a satisfying reward. This chronicles the long time drug use and general "fuckups" of Pentagram frontman Bobby Liebling, and his several attempts to get clean and sober. Pentagram are widely looked at as one of the most overlooked bands in the metal field (despite their influence on doom metal bands far and wide), and hopefully this story of a phoenix rising from the ashes will be help them get the attention they deserve.
3. Looper
I regret not seeing this in theaters, though admittedly the experience and chance to pay attention to the story may have been tampered by the predictable cliches of theater crowds (audible, confused old folks, noisy teens, etc.). I'm also shocked at how much I've been enjoying as many time travel films as I have within these past few years. Joseph Gordon-Levitt continues to prove that he's no longer the little kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun by giving a hell of a performance, and Bruce Willis' tragic figure/alternate version of JGL's character is so interesting, that he almost makes up for the atrocities of Cop Out. Almost.
2. The Avengers/The Cabin in the Woods
Cheating? Damn right I am. In the world of pop culture, this was the year for Joss Whedon. Admittedly, I'm not a complete Whedon devotee (the script for Alien Ressurrection...*shudder*), but you can't deny that these were bonafide hits, and pretty darn awesome all around. What needs to be said about The Avengers that hasn't been said by nearly every person on the planet? It might just be the best superhero film ever created, at least in the Marvel universe. As for The Cabin in the Woods, I'm been saying to those who were skeptical about giving this viewing: it isn't what you will expect it to be, and that is the film's greatest strength. The horror genre needed something like this to be released in America, as we're still being plagued by unnecessary remakes and shameful sequels. Thankfully, this was a treat for us longtime horror fanatics, and I couldn't have had more fun.
1. Django Unchained
Remember this line from Inglourious Basterds?
Well, I have a bone to pick with the man. As good as that film was, I believe this is closer to a masterpiece for Mr. Tarantino. It might be too difficult trying to pick out the best performance in Django Unchained, as everyone is at the top of their game here. Jamie Foxx and Samuel L. Jackson give their best performances in ages, Leonardo DiCaprio is shockingly slimy, and Christoph Waltz proves that he needs to work with QT as much as humanly possible. The action is bloody and over-the-top, the dialogue very memorable (and a lot funnier than expected), and on the whole, very fun. Those who are sensitive to the subject of the film might find it a bit easier to swallow, but I think you'll be missing out. As someone who doesn't purchase many home releases anymore, this will be one I'll be happy to add to my collection as soon as humanly possible.
To quote one Bloodstain Lane, banana splits for the films mentioned above, and banana clips for the five films below that boiled my blood or just plain sucked.
5. American Reunion
This was like being excited to travel to your high school reunion, only to discover that all of the best friends you thought you had are actually schmucks, everyone acts the exact same, and are nowhere near as funny as you remembered them being. That, or maybe this just wasn't that funny. Either works fine.
4. Piranha 3DD
In this bearded weirdo's opinion, John Gulager struck gold once with the original Feast and has yet to make anything to could surpass, or even equal it. This sequel to the surprisingly fun remake from 2010 was so tepid and flat, you'd think it went straight to video. And no, I don't believe a screening in 3D will help me change my mind, as you can't polish a turd.
3. Jersey Shore Shark Attack
The film that damn near all of my friends weren't able to finish, and I'm shocked that I was able to do myself. This could have come in at number one, but it wasn't released theatrically, so I'm giving it a break (which will be the only time this film will ever get one). If you're curious about why I hated this as much as I did, click here.
2. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Please keep Nicholas Cage away from all comic book-related properties. Hell, keep him from even purchasing the books. This was just plain bad, and for that matter, it was rated PG-13. Mind you, I'm not opposed to PG-13 action films at all, but when you manage to wrangle up the directors behind the Crank films and have David S. Goyer (Dark City, the Nolan Batman trilogy) co-write the screenplay, I expect something resembling a watchable product. Needless to say, we didn't get that. Here's hoping Johnny Blaze stays far away from the big screen for a very long time.
1. The Devil Inside
So, here I am in January 2013 reminding myself of a film released nearly one year ago. I try to convince myself that this wasn't the most infuriating horror film I've watched since The Village, and that by avoiding projects like Rock of Ages, Gone, Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie, Joyful Noise, and the latest installment in the Twilight saga, I haven't truly witnessed the "worst of the worst." You're probably right. That being said, this movie still fucking sucks. Essentially an advertisement rather than a real horror film, this got worse the more I thought about it. If you care to revisit my original angry rant/review, go right ahead. But please, don't give this movie your precious time. Invest it with superior projects like The Cabin in the Woods or The Loved Ones instead.
And that does it for the rest of the best and the...what rhymes with worst? Whatever the case, I'll try to update this blog a little more often this year in between work and school, and might even start doing vlogs if I feel compelled to.
Ah, so here we are again. Though I realize making my entire top 20 list as one post would've been much easier to do, I figured I'd drag it out just a tad bit more. Well, that and I needed to sleep before heading to work.
So, with little fanfare, here are numbers 1-10 of my favorite 20 albums released in 2012.
10. Napalm Death-Utilitarian
If you'd have told me Napalm Death were going to take some of the biggest risks this year in the extreme music community, I'd have asked you to supply me with some of the drugs you were taking. Shockingly, these risks, which range from a saxophone solo (hi there guest cameo from John Zorn!), to guitarist Mitch Harris singing cleanly, work incredibly well for the godfathers of grindcore. And for those of you who are uncomfortable with experimentation, don't worry, there are still plenty of righteous blasts of hostility to be found. True, ND have been on a good tear for the past ten or so years, but this one will probably warrant the most repeats (next to Enemy of the Music Business at least) in their recent catalog. Diversity is your best friend sometimes.
9. Early Graves-Red Horse
Two years after losing frontman Makh Daniels in a horrible van accident, this promising dark hardcore/crust band return with an effort that was as punishing as it was inspiring. New vocalist John Strachan (also of The Funeral Pyre) seems like a natural fit, his Gothenburg-style yells adding a very strong Disfear vibe (and the Tragedy influence is even stronger than before) to a band that I'm sure some were uncertain were ever going to return after their excellent 2010 effort Goner. Well, they're still going strong, and in my opinion, this is even better than that record. To quote one Joey Diaz, "TREMENDOUS!"
8. Witchcraft-Legend
I've slept on this band for way too long, and it figures that my first real exposure to them is when they have a mostly new lineup. Shame, since this is some absolutely beautiful heavy metal. In my book, Magnus Pelander and Mlny Parsonz (Royal Thunder) were neck and neck for vocal performance of the year, and despite the album positioning on this list, I'm not quite sure who won out in the end. I get the feeling that this will be a grower, and over time, could potentially sneak into my top five. If you still haven't listened to these Swedes, and count yourself as an old school metal/doom/stoner/hard rock fan, I implore you to find this album however you can, and give it a spin.
7. Gaza-No Absolutes in Human Suffering
Ouch. This album wants to hurt you. Badly. Not like in that pseudo-hardcore tough guy way, but in that "tear your hair out and pummel you to death with a microphone" kind of way. I've always liked this band, but something always prevented me from loving them. Their BotchalesceVerge sound (I will NEVER used that term again) has been perfected on this full-length however, so watch out. This is some of the most chaotic music I've heard in a long time, making you feel like you had been crushed by a bulldozer. Mathcore fanatics and fans of "violent" music in general will be drawn to this like a moth to flames.
6. High on Fire-De Vermis Mysteriis
I'm going to make a ballsy claim here: this will be the last truly great HOF album. Matt Pike checking into rehab earlier this year didn't particularly surprise me, but you know the old saying of "No Drugs, No Soul?" Well, this has TONS of soul, some of the best riffs I've heard from the (now) legendary guitarist, and it feels pretty drenched in drug use. Easily the best thing in this band's catalog since Blessed Black Wings, though let's hope their next effort doesn't turn into the band's equivalent of St. Anger. For now though, let us bask in its sheer power and magnitude.
5. Royal Thunder-CVI
The moment I heard about this GA stoner rock/doom metal band signing to Relapse Records, I knew their full length debut would be a monster. True, some songs on this can drag a bit, but Mlny Parsonz's vocals are enough to keep the listener's attention throughout any potential mediocrity (which there really isn't any). With fantastic chemistry between rhythm section and guitarists abound, and the aforementioned amazing performance from Ms. Parsonz, this bluesy and doom-soaked debut was well worth the wait. All I can hope is that they don't become too big to forget that they still owe us another show!
4. The Devil's Blood-The Thousandfold Epicentre
Okay, technically I'm cheating by putting this one on my list, given that it saw release in Europe back in November 2011, but we didn't see an official release in the U.S. until January. So nyah nyah. My childish insult aside, they were one of the standouts this year at Maryland Death Fest, and this is damn good psychedelic rock/metal from the Netherlands, with soaring vocals, a great use of the hammond organ, and a lyric sheet that makes the listener feel like they've been dropped off in a mid-70s drugged-out satanic ritual. Speaking of Maryland Death Fest, I just remembered that I neglected to type a proper review on here, so here's a quick recap: Everyone but Anvil, Die Pigeon Die, and Needful Things were good, and the latter were more disappointing than bad.
3. Pig Destroyer-Book Burner
I was scared that the sheer amount of dicksucking that this album was receiving would ruin it for me, but I'll admit: it may be warranted. It has been way too damn long since the D.C. masters of grind released a new album, but this was definitely worth waiting five years. The production might throw fans off, but Scott Hull's riffs slay and J.R. Hayes still sounds like a man possessed. This album is also more noticeably groovy than past efforts, but it works in its favor, especially on "Iron Drunk" and "The Diplomat." Guest vocals by Kat Katz (AnB/Salome) and Jason Netherton (Misery Index) only add to the intensity, and "The Bug," which features one of two collaborations between Hayes and Katz, might be my favorite song of the year. I'm expecting their set at 2013's Maryland Death Fest to be pure insanity.
2. Converge-All We Love We Leave Behind
I've never been shy about my love for Converge, and I'm probably one of the few who prefers their newer material (Jane Doe and onward) to their older material. Whereas 2009's Axe to Fall was a family affair stuffed with guest appearances galore, Converge is back to doing their thing as four piece on this album with no appearances but their own. Jake's vocals are torturous and pained like usual, and his skills as a songwriter have certainly not diminished, but to me the stars of this one are his bandmates. I've always thought that as musicians, Converge was severely overlooked. Kurt Ballou can riff with the best of them, Nate Newton's vocals and bass lines are growing in size, and Ben Koeller can beat his drums better than most in his field (opener "Aimless Arrow" and the title track are proof). The kings of metallic hardcore continue to reign supreme.
1. Christian Mistress-Possession
Unbelievable. Just when I think Relapse has dropped the ball with signing newer acts, this proves me wrong. No disrespect to the purveyors of the "retro metal" revival that seems to be the thing nowadays, but I prefer to see my favorite music genre go forward rather than take two steps backward. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy some of the albums though, and god DAMN did I love this one. Incredible guitar melodies that could compete with the best of early Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, soulful and sultry vocals that resemble if Grace Slick listened to a lot of Black Sabbath, and a very solid production that mixed just the right amount of modern with "old school," I'll be shocked if this band doesn't blow up within the next few years, or at least doesn't garner a slightly bigger following. The only thing I can ask now is COME TO THE EAST COAST!
And there you go, my top twenty albums list is complete. But you might be asking "Ryan, why title this 'best of tunes, worst of tunes' without a bottom 20?" Well, not to sound egotistical, but I avoided most of the albums this year that I knew would disappoint me.
But there were two albums that stuck with me the same way shit sticks to your shoes...
Dead Icons-Condemned
Remember my unpopular opinion on hardcore being mostly stale now? This is the epitome of it. I was struggling to say anything worth note, be it slightly positive or overwhelmingly negative, about this album. At the end of the day, however, I found it to be completely unmemorable and forgettable, which sometimes is the worst crime of all. I'm sure they're all nice guys, but this just didn't do a thing for me.
Lamb of God-Resolution
I feel bad bashing this because of the band's recent troubles involving Randy Blythe's manslaughter case, and I also avoided the new releases that nearly everyone has on their "worst of" lists (Muse, Bad Brains), but good fuckity god did this suck. The opening song "Straight For the Sun" is passable (mostly due to LoG going sludge on it), but it was a downward spiral after those two and half minutes were over. There is no life and variety to be found on this release, and LoG have pretty much confirmed their decision to take the Slayer route by deciding not to stray too far from the sound that helped secure them gold records. If you're okay with that, then you might not despise this album nearly as much as I did. For me though, I'm still yearning for something to match As The Palaces Burn. I'll probably have to keep waiting though.
NOW you have it. The best (and worst) of 2012's music, as chosen by this bearded weirdo.
As with last year, here are some other top lists from fellow music fans, a.k.a. friends and acquaintances.
Kris Hargitt 1. Torche-Harmonicraft 2. Gaza-No Absolutes In Human Suffering 3. The Rival Mob-Mob Justice 4. Power Trip-7" 5. Converge-All We Loves We Leave Behind 6. Rise and Fall-Faith 7. Burning Love-Rotten Thing to Say Lew Cabral 1. Converge-All We Love We Leave Behind 2. Every Time I Die-Ex Lives 3. Grizzly Bear-Shields 4. Pig Destroyer-Book Burner 5. Gojira-L'Enfant Sauvage
Ben Johnson
Cattle Decapitation-Monolith of Inhumanity
Pig Destroyer-Book Burner
Christopher Millard (Children of the Reptile)
The Sword-Apocrypon
Dragonforce-The Power Within
Justin Palughi
Converge-All We Love We Leave Behind
Between the Buried and Me-The Parallax II: Future Sequence
Come back tomorrow for another best of/worst of list featuring movies, MMA, and all other sorts of things!
To say that 2012 has been interesting would be like stating that Black Sabbath were an amazing musical act. I got two new jobs (down to just one as of this writing, mostly due to distance), went back to school, and even traveled to a festival that was previously only thought of as a dream and nothing more. We'll save that hoopla for another entry though, since this is about what obviously matters most: MUSIC! As with last year, I've assembled a list of my own favorite releases that I happened to hear and found quite pleasant on my ears. This was a rather difficult process, even more so than assembling my favorites of 2011. Despite its difficulty, it does make me optimistic for the next year though, as there isn't the slightest thing wrong with finding more good music.
Even dillydallying though, let's get to it. I'm making this a two part post due to links being attached for key tracks too.
But first!
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Magic Circle-Single 7"
An amazing glimpse of things to come from a supergroup comprised of members from The Rival Mob, Mind Eraser, and Doomriders. It has a tad bit in common with the latter, but this two song 7" shares more similarities with Black Sabbath and the melodic doom bands of the 80s (Candlemass, Trouble) than anything else.
Alcest-Les Voyages De L'Âme
I'm shocked that I never gave this band a listen until now. Roughly translated to "The Soul's Journey," this feels like a fairly natural meeting of haunting, melodic alternative post-rock and screeching black metal. There are moments on this that can genuinely give me chills depending on how my week has been going. Too bad I don't speak a lick of French, I would love to read about what I'm hearing. Strongly recommended for fans of Opeth, Agalloch, and Katatonia.
CREEM-CREEM 12"
*cues joke from Family Guy related to this band's name* Unusual feeling about their name aside, this was some damn good 80s-style hardcore punk from New York. This is what I wish Ceremony had evolved into.
Torch Runner-Committed To The Ground
North Carolina, you're doing me proud these days. The hardcore/grindcore band keeps evolving and playing shorter, faster songs, while turning the angry factor to eleven. In all honesty, I don't have too much more to say here, seeing as how this goes by in a flash, but what a flash it is.
Fiona Apple-The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than The Driver of The Screw And Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do
I've always liked this gal, even if recalling her album names post-Tidal have made me want to claw my face off. Smooth, sultry, sad, and even funny at times, this was easily my favorite non-loud music discovery I heard all year (outside of the PHENOMENAL Chelsea Wolfe).
Power Trip-S/T 7"
Time to entice the haters: I think hardcore is pretty boring right now. I feel the genre is too riddled with cliched acts, singing about the same subjects and catering towards the "cool" side of things, which is the complete antithesis of what hardcore is about. Mercifully, before signing to Southern Lord, these Texans released a banger of a 7" this year, chocked full of speed and groove. Comparisons to the now-defunct Iron Age are inevitable, but I can only hope these guys last a little longer and continue to impress.
The Rival Mob-Mob Justice
C'mon, the intro alone is worth a spot alone on an end of the year list, and the band themselves will admit (and have) that this is purely for the intention of moshing really, REALLY hard. Oh, and as for the rest of the release? It's rather good.
Enabler-All Hail the Void
I suppose the reason this didn't quite make the top 20 was due to this being an example of "good record, better live." Not to dismiss the band or anything, because this is still very enjoyable. Ex-members of Today is the Day and Fall Out Boy (really!) make a very good metallic hardcore album that often crushes, but is better experienced in a live setting. This was especially apparent when (in my opinion) they stole the show during this summer's Southern Lord tour.
Now, we shall march forward onto the actual list. Well, at least the first half.
Speaking of march...
20. Coffins-March of Despair
The guitars are evil, the drums are primitively simple, and the vocals sound like a demon is getting ready to vomit onto your very soul. Naturally, I loved it. I can never keep track of who is doing what in the lineup of Japan's kings of death/doom, but as long as they keep churning out awesome releases like this one, I don't care who performs what.
19. Action Bronson-Blue Chips/Rare Chandeliers.
Technically these are two different albums, but given how busy the New York rapper is, I don't see the problem with putting both of these in the same spot. I've been so down on newer hip-hop and rap, but something about this guy just works. Perhaps its the subject matter (food, weed, money, women, wrestling, etc.) or perhaps its his uncanny vocal resemblance to Ghostface Killah. With the latter album, the insanely cool beats conjured up by The Alchemist only up the enjoyment factor. Did I mention that both of these were put up for free online? So go ahead and give these (and his excellent full-length Dr. Lecter) a go. I sense that this guy is going to explode in popularity, and I couldn't be happier if that comes to be.
18. Torche-Harmonicraft
Ahh Torche, you never disappoint. Hell, even your weakest efforts still have something worth revisiting. Personally, I've always preferred Torche a bit more than Floor (here comes the shitstorm now...I just realize I made that joke too. Oy), and maybe it was because I've always been attracted to a good melody more than anything. I find it impossible to be in a bad mood when listening to a Torche album, and nobody else does sludge-pop better than Steve Brooks & company. Can we also talk about how awesome the video to "Kicking" was too? Because it totally is.
17. Pallbearer-Sorrow and Extinction
I love Profound Lore, but it took me almost a full year to FINALLY listen to this in its entirety, and while I don't think the hype is 100% justified, I think the attention is still very well deserved. Epic, traditional doom metal with melodic (almost soaring) vocals that can tug at your very heartstrings. Perhaps my only complaint is that there are only five songs on this impressive debut, but I predict this band will have a rather big year and churn out something that even surpasses this titan of a record.
16. Panopticon-Kentucky
I'm incredibly strict about what black metal (if any at all) I like anymore, and I'm even harder to please when it comes to one man black metal bands from the states. I'm always open to hearing new things though, and this melding of black metal and bluegrass songs (blackgrass?), along with unusual additions to the genre (recorder and banjo) worked better than I could have ever expected it to. A concept record about the horrors of coal mining and forest destruction in his native state, this was one of the most emotional albums I've heard from the genre, and will leave you truly concerned for the well being of the artist and his home land.
15. Baroness-Yellow & Green
One of the more controversial albums released this year (well, at least down in Wilmington, where folks seem to be split), Baroness' double album upped the melody even more than usual, and toned down quite a large bit of the aggression heard on their previous full-lengths. Did it make for a good listen? Well, in my eyes, it absolutely did. True, the lyrics are weaker than normal ("Little Things" could be phenomenal if you ignore them), and there are some filler songs here and there, but the fact the GA natives were able to make a double album that didn't completely stink is enough to warrant some respect. This is one that I think those with more time to kill and more open minds will appreciate.
14. Deftones-Koi No Yokan
Yeah, I like the Deftones. Fight me. They're one of the few bands that I'm still a fan of after going through all of my music "phases." Oddly enough, it might be due to that fact that this band has been willing to grow and change themselves, and barely resemble the primitive nu-metal act heard on Adrenaline (though you could argue about the band ever even belonging in that genre). Mixing influences from post-rock, post-hardcore, and European acts like Meshuggah, this band has never sounded more like themselves and less like a Korn clone. Admittedly, 2010's Diamond Eyes is still a better album, but the atmosphere dripping from tracks like "Leathers" and "Rosemary" help secure this a spot in the top 20.
13. Neurosis-Honor Found in Decay
I'll probably get crucified for this not being higher, but it didn't mean it was a bad record whatsoever. Hell, Neurosis isn't capable of making a completely bad album. The use of hammond organ on this will leave you salivating, making you wish that the California post-metal giants had used it more, while they also prove to be one of the few bands in the world who can still pull off using bagpipes in metal without sounding cheesy. Scott Kelly's and Steve Von Till's vocals are still amazing and instantly recognizable, and "At the Well" could compete with the best material from Through Silver in Blood.
12. Black Breath-Sentenced To Life
What a rager. I was impressed by these cats' debut EP years ago, but never did I imagine they could churn out something so nasty-sounding. The Stockholm sound has been alive and well in America over the past few years, and you can largely attribute that to these Washingtonians (along with Nails, All Pigs Muse Die, and the surprisingly inactive Trap Them). Combining the best of Swedish death metal with a very strong hardcore punk vibe, it might be impossible to not bang your head to at least two of the tracks on this one.
11. Burning Love-Rotten Thing To Say
I'll probably get an endless amount of hate for this, but I was not a fan of Burning Love's "Songs for Burning Lovers." Perhaps I was still mourning the loss of Cursed, but something just didn't click with me. Whatever was lacking on that album is gone though, as this one was a bonafide, amped up release. Chris Colohan's vocals are expectedly strong, the riffs more memorable (and more based in rock & roll than hardcore), and the lyrics are fittingly biting. Bravo guys, looking forward to future releases again now.
And that does it for Part 1. Tune in for part 2 in a few hours.
