Unseen Terror 2018: Day 5

Howard Hallenbeck and his family have traveled to Ireland so that he may research and photograph religious iconography. While he visits a church and meets the clergy, three farmers are out working in a field and attempt to remove a rather large stone column that's seemingly stuck in the ground.. Though two of the men call it quits and head home, the last of them is successful, and smoke erupts from below. Something sinister and otherworldly has awakened: the demigod known as "Rawhead Rex," and his thirst for blood is insatiable.



My familiarity with Clive Barker's "Books of Blood" collections isn't nearly as strong as my knowledge of the films that have his name attached to them. Obviously his most well-known of these adaptations is that one little ditty that he also got lucky enough to direct, but the rest of his works have received mixed reactions from fans and audiences alike. Prior to when moviegoers were exposed to the world of the Cenobites, one of his short stories was given the big screen treatment. Not long after its theatrical release, this effort known as Rawhead Rex was also disowned by the British author himself. But was he right to dismiss the final product?

Around the same time (a.k.a. almost immediately after the credits on this had rolled) that I decided to watch Rawhead Rex, I was lucky enough to listen to some audio recordings of the story itself on YouTube. Perhaps I should have put doing something like that aside, because it just makes watching this all the more disheartening. You can see why Barker was upset, because while the aura throughout the movie itself is unmistakably that of the man himself, there is just a lot working against it. First and foremost, Rex himself is just....okay, there is no point in being nice here. Rex looks BAD. Rather than resemble a towering, nine foot tall demon (google his name, and you'll be shocked about what he looks like on paper vs what he looks like on screen), he is far more similar to a professional wrestler wearing a bad latex costume. Reportedly, the effects crew had only been given less than a month's worth of time to create the design of Rex, and the rushed results show. Thankfully, actor Heinrich von Schellendorf does a fairly competent job at playing the titular villain, even if he does appear to be cheap-looking. The rest of the cast is fairly forgettable (save for Ronan Wilmot's character of a priest gone mad), but most of them are only present so that they can appear startled by the entire experience. David Dukes is fine as the main protagonist as well, but prior to something unexpected that happens around the time of the third act, he's not the most interesting of people to watch.


Though I always expect some gore to be found throughout most works of Clive Barker, there is still some surprisingly decent violent bits thrown into Rawhead Rex. One small taboo is broken later on, which definitely took me (and likely you) by surprise. It adds another layer of drama and heartache to a film that so desperately needed it. Making matters better, the third act just seems to say "screw it," and goes into full-on Bonkers Barker mode. People are getting thrown around Royal Rumble style, there's a big explosion outside of a church, and Rex does something quite unthinkable with a cleric that will stick with you regardless of your opinion of the picture as a whole. It almost makes up for the first two thirds being so inconsistent and mostly mediocre. Almost.


This bad boy really is a tossup for someone like me. It's absolutely messy and ultimately more goofy than I'm sure it ever intended of being, but even the tiniest of positive aspects about Rawhead Rex still make it fairly watchable. If you can get over the absolutely stupid-looking monster design and the fact that it does slip into dull territory once in a while, there's a reasonably fun "B" movie to be found. This black sheep of Cliver Barker-affiliated projects can be found on DVD and Blu-Ray from Kino Lorber, and from what I've heard, the 4K restoration from the original negative makes it look like an entirely different film.



Or you can wait for Clive Barker's proposed remake that he expressed interest in doing three years ago. I'd be shocked if that gets off the ground before a much needed Hellraiser remake or reboot.



Tomorrow, we're going to keep it classy and let the Criterion crew help us with the sixth day's entry!

Unseen Terror 2015: Day 2.5

No, that headliner is not a grammatical or numerical mistake. During this year's blog-o-thon, my free time and schedule in which I work around to watch these films that I've selected is going to be very erratic. Therefore, my sleeping schedule will sometimes affect my ability to actually post full reviews for every single picture that I finish. So, before I post my final draft for something such as, say, The Monster Squad (shit, there goes my spoiler for tonight's entry), I'll be publishing the occasional quick summary of my thoughts for something that I may have either forgotten to talk about or was just too lethargic to muster up a review for before bedtime.


Anyways, enough of all that. Here's (to once again quote a favorite podcast of mine) a Brucie Bonus flick for you folks!

For eight days, the earth passes through the tail of a comet. During this time, assorted inanimate objects begin to come to life, harming and maiming anyone foolish enough to get close to them. Drawbridges raise during traffic, steamrollers run over children after a little league game, and various monster trucks spring to life without a driver behind the wheel. Chaos ensues, and a small band of southerners find themselves trapped in a truck stop at the mercy of a gaggle of tractor trailers and large vehicles, unsure of how to escape from this nightmare.



When you think of motion pictures filmed or set in the Wilmington and Cape Fear areas of North Carolina, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

Nope, sorry.

Nice try, but you're clearly incorrect.

...............why would you even?.........



Anyways, the answer is obviously 1986's Maximum Overdrive, a film that for fellow Wilmingtonians, is either something that they've viewed far too many times in their youth, or even better, have starred in. It is infamous for following an absurdly stupid concept from an author who, despite many great works of the past, has been known to dabble in the realm of idiocy from time to time. The man in question is horror legend Stephen King, who not only wrote the script for this one, but also sat down in the director's chair in what turned out to be his one and only time before most likely realizing that this was not for him.


When I'm concocting my reviews for Unseen Terror, I tend to write crude notes and collect random facts during the project's running time, in the hopes that it will help me to the best of my ability. When I wasn't being blown away for the sheer awfulness of Maximum Overdrive, I was penning the following:


-Stephen King was apparently coked out of his mind during the entire filming experience (this is made all the more apparent when you consider how frequently plot holes pop up for its entire ninety seven minute running time).
-He cameos as a disgruntled man at an ATM, wherein said device calls him an "asshole" repeatedly. Probably not too far from the truth if you were one of the unfortunate souls working on the production.
-There's Lisa Simpson's voice actor! Oh god, in comparison to being the genius of that family, she's making the cartoon character seem so much more likable and less whiney.


Mind you, I didn't even need to make a note on how drastically different the acting is from every single performer cast by Mary Colquhoun. Thankfully, Emilio Estevez (The Breakfast Club, The Mighty Ducks) has done worse than this (I think), but he's the least of this flick's problems. Everyone else is either overacting or underperforming, with no middle ground whatsoever. It may seem unfair to place the blame on King himself for this, but this was HIS project, wherein he maintained complete control over the piece and had to be the one to make the decision to have Ellen McElduff repeatedly scream "WE MADE YOU!" at tractor trailers.


If Stephen King had set out to make an entertaining, schlocky B-movie extravaganza with classic hard rock/metal band AC/DC serving as its entire soundtrack (yes, I am 100% serious), then he succeeded. If he made this in earnest, with his intentions being to terrify audiences and moviegoers, then he failed on a level that makes you wonder what kind of miracle occurred that didn't result in his career being completely ruined. Still, if you know the right people and have the right amount of booze nearby, Maximum Overdrive can provide you with a good amount of unintended laughs and cheap kills to satiate you for at least a short amount of time.


And if you also know the right people, you can ask about all of the assorted accidents that occurred on set, one of which was prevented from being fatal by the father of my band's bassist.


Don't believe me? Well, go search for @Dresdenbombing on twitter and challenge his claim. You will lose.


Come back later today for....well, The Monster Squad. No use beating around the bush or trying to hide it....

Unseen Terror 2015: Day 2

Scientist Dr. Edward Pretorious and his assistant Dr. Crawford Tillinghast have completed work on a device nicknamed "The Resonator," a machine that triggers accelerated growth in the pineal gland of the brain. Though it allows the party to perceive things that the average human would never normally see, it also brings about nightmarish visions of demonic creatures, some of which attack and murder Edward. Having been sent to a mental asylum for the accusations of murdering his mentor, Crawford is soon released into custody of Dr. Katherine McMichaels, who believes his bizarre story about the events after a CAT scan shows that his pineal gland is indeed growing, and who wants to witness the effects of such a contraption. Accompanied by the detective who investigated Edward's own demise, the trio return to the home of The Resonator, but what they will discover is a familiar, if not nightmarishly warped reality that no one could have ever imagined existed in any plane.



Going into my viewing of Stuart Gordon's From Beyond (based on the H.P. Lovecraft story of the same name), my knowledge of the film was a bare minimum. It was relegated to one trailer on Youtube, numerous writeups and video reviews from respected horror publications and fanatics, and a quick read of the source material quite some months ago. Still, I've been accused of having the memory of a goldfish when it comes to most important things, so even those tidbits were disappearing from my mind. Honestly though, I have discovered that the best means of watching this somewhat obscure cult favorite from 1986 is to go in with as little information as possible.


For starters, I had no idea that the aforementioned Stuart Gordon, he of the legendary Re-Animator fame, was sitting in the director's chair for this production. He's also paired with writer/producer Brian Yuzna, who seemed attached to the hip of Gordon for a good portion of his earlier career before getting to mess with future films such as Honey, I Shrunk The Kids and...um, The Dentist. Then again, once I saw that Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton were our two main leads (both also of Re-Animator fame) it should have been obvious from the start. As bizarre as it may sound, it shocks me that these two never married in real life, especially when you see how natural their chemistry with one another feels every time that they've appeared on screen together. I've professed my love for Mr. Combs and his skills before, so there isn't much else to talk about there, but I've never been completely sold on Ms. Crampton until finally being able to catch her in additional projects in her filmography such as From Beyond and the recently released You're Next. She can convincingly pull off the "smart and sexy" character without having any single person cast doubt towards her way, a combination that is nigh impossible in ANY genre. She's also got one hell of a great scream, which I'm sure she's told on an almost weekly basis by fans of the genre. Ken Foree (Dawn Of The Dead, The Devil's Rejects) also makes an appearance as a third wheel of sort, adding a small handful of darker comedic moments that thankfully help keep the picture grounded. Some might argue that these aren't necessarily required from a Lovecraftian tale, but I believe this can help most viewers stay focused during its running time, especially since the plot is so peculiar and out of this world.


The production and crew work on From Beyond may its strongest, and yet most un-appreciated suit. There's great lighting and camera work that you could only get from niche films released during this decade, with dark pink, purple, and other rarely used colors permeating throughout its (surprisingly short) eighty minute running time, giving it a real dream-like, if not morbidly euphoric feel. Richard Band, brother to Charles Band of Full Moon Features (who serves as executive producer here), composes a beautifully creepy, dark, and often haunting score that only heightens the mood. His body of work also includes Ghoulies, Puppet Master, and previous Unseen Terror favorite TerrorVision, though from what I've seen, those appear to be some of his better works and compositions. The special effects work and skills from John Carl Buechler is something that will very likely stick with me until this year's marathon is over. When someone thinks of the "body horror" tag, which deals with the fear of decay and unusual change, the name that primarily comes to mind is master David Cronenberg (The Fly, The Brood, Videodrome), but Buechler's own ideas are horrific in design, disgustingly unconventional, and worthy of standing side by side with greater giants of the genre (all the more impressive when you take into account that From Beyond was made for approximately $4.5 million). I think it's a shame that talented individuals such as Chris Walas (The Fly) and himself aren't acknowledged for their work in the field as much as other fabulous artists such as Rob Bottin (The Thing) and yesterday's discussed juggernaut Tom Savini are. Then again, some of the green screen or non-speaking creatures, such as the bat-like monstrosity seen in its final act, don't age particularly well. Maybe that's an unfortunate contributing factor.


Mein got. Well, there is no way to beat around the bush or have a proper, professional summary when it comes to my overall thoughts on From Beyond: it is one spectacularly strange, slimy, and fairly grotesque motion picture. It also happens to be, above all else, pretty damn great, unique, and an adaptation that trumps its source material, flying out of the gate like a spirit released from a containment unit in Ghostbusters. For the time being, you can rent Gordon's finished product on Amazon Prime for only a small amount of money ($3.99 for a 48 hour rental of the HD version is remarkably cheap). If you're up to spending a few more dollars, or don't have access to streaming websites, track down the Blu-Ray/DVD combo that was released by home video darlings Scream Factory, as this relic of the latter half of the 1980s is now available in wider distribution that it most likely ever was or ever will be.




Tomorrow is the entry for 1987. To celebrate that, I'll be digging up a favorite of children of the latter half of that decade. Will I dig this "creature battalion" as much as they do? Time will only tell...

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 5

Tromaville, New Jersey is an antiquated town boasting a population of a mere 15,000 civilians. Its own high school, the aptly named Tromaville High, is conveniently located near a nuclear power plant, which workers are constantly monitoring for any future trouble down the line. One afternoon, a new strain of marijuana, powered by the power plant's radiation, is discovered by the school's drug dealing gang, who decide to start circulating and selling the product to Tromaville High's populace. After young couple Warren and Chrissy partake in smoking a newer "joint," they begin to undergo strange transformations, which could lead to more disastrous consequences over time.


You'll have to forgive me for echoing what I said in my review for Poultrygeist two years prior to today's entry, but I feel that it bears repeating. Troma Entertainment, the independent film company founded in 1974 by Michael Herz and Lloyd Kaufman that still thrives to this day, are just wonderful. They are filthy, sleazy, a little bit mental, and more often than not, sport an incredibly juvenile sense of humor. All of that aside, their main goal is to entertain the audience, especially their primarily rabid fanbase. I've always viewed them as the long lost cousins of "trash" purveyors such as John Waters and the heavy metal band Gwar, and I'd even say that they are the cinematic equivalent to a record and live performance by the latter. Every time that I expose myself to a new Troma movie, I find something worth remembering, and with the lone exception of Bloodsucking Freaks (which I personally found to be a little too off-putting), I always come back either liking or loving the final product. Class of Nuke 'Em High (having a similar title to 1982's Class of 1984 was not a coincidence) doesn't have the same amount of charm as their bigger hits like The Toxic Avenger or the quite underrated Cannibal! The Musical (made by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone while they were in college), but it does make for a damn good time.


Your first instinct when firing up this picture is to smile. And honestly, who can blame you? Most of Nuke 'Em's cast will convince you that the primary characters from flicks such as Fast Times At Ridgemont High and Porky's were given a lot of acid and drugs undiscovered by mankind. These people then stumbled into this rather small town's mainlands, and figured it was too much work to go back home, thus deciding to stick around and try to fit in. It also takes a minimum of six minutes before our first defenestration scene, and only several seconds more for our first fatality (complete with corpse decomposition). As time goes by, we're allowed time to familiarize ourselves with the different, if not unabashedly cliched cliques on the school grounds, which makes it all the more interesting when things start to go south and the nuclear waste's effects take their toll on our two main protagonists from these various groups. And when I say that things "go south," I mean that the red-colored fluids start flying and bodies warp in ways that they should not.


Speaking of blood and guts, I'll give Troma props for their practical effects. They might look outrageous and over the top, but they're fairly well done considering that they have the furthest thing from high budgets (the amazingly-titled Redneck Zombies was made for a meager ten thousand dollars). The influence on later "gross out" horror movies, specifically Eli Roth's Cabin Fever, can not be denied here. What I wish could be denied was one sequence during the final third of the movie, though it isn't the fault of the feature's filmmakers and/or script writers. The antagonists of Class Of Nuke 'Em High decide to take over Tromaville High School by breaking in and shooting up the place before sending the rest of the students into a panic. I do realize that this was made thirteen years before those horrible events at Columbine High School took place, and that this film is more of a satire than anything (as are a good amount of Troma films), but that doesn't mean it isn't a tad bit on the uncomfortable side of things. Even so, keep this sequence intact and free from the demands of truly whiney people who scream with sincerity "remove this blasphemy!" Don't cave in to peer pressure!


Oh, and those antagonists? They've given themselves the title of "The Cretins," and they are the things that a cosplayer's wet dreams are made of. A wild send up of punk rock and motorcycle gang culture, The Cretins look and act as ridiculous as their name implies, switching from asshole troublemakers to coldhearted villains at the flick of a switch. If I had to pick one specific favorite out of the surprising sizable pack, solely based on looks and personality, it would be Brad Dunker's freakish-looking (even by this group's standards) Gonzo. The man looks certifiably insane, carrying around a giant bone, a mouthguard, and sporting the largest septum piercing you may ever see in your lifetime.


So, this is the part where I'm supposed to say something clever and give my final thoughts. Maybe I'll say that it's an incredibly dumb film that is self-aware of its own flaws, but doesn't seem to care and delights in it? Then again, this company and its own list of releases are nearly critic-proof, and trying to do an honest review on a film like this or Terror Firmer, their take on the "meta" movie, just seems banal. Well, how about this? If you don't have access to streaming services such as Netflix or Amazon Prime, Troma themselves have made Class Of Nuke 'Em High, along with a myriad of other pictures they're distributed throughout the decades, available to stream online for the low, low price of zero dollars! So if I've piqued your interest on this frantic little picture, give it a try right below. You're either going to thank me or scorn me later anyway.

Tomorrow, we're flying into the familiar realm of South Korean horror with Bedevilled!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 31

Eddie Weinbauer's an awkward high schooler who finds solace in heavy metal, and in one particular man named Sammi Curr: a devil-worshipping, free-spirited rock star. But when Curr dies under mysterious circumstances, Eddie is devastated. Soon afterwards, he receives a copy of Curr's final and unreleased record from a friend. Upon playing it backwards, he discovers that the deceased rocker is speaking to him from beyond the grave, in the hopes of being resurrected, but he will require a few sacrifices first.

We've reached the end of this year's countdown, and if you're wondering why in the world I chose to close out with 1986's Trick or Treat rather than the masterful and more respected Rosemary's Baby, the only explanation I can offer is that metal-related pictures, especially in the horror field, are hard to come by. Thus, I'm not going to say this took top priority, but upon discovering that this little "gem" was ready for viewing on the internet via Youtube (like quite a few of this year's entries were), I bumped it to the end, figuring we could end it with a bang or a fizzle, depending on if I liked it or not.

And I think that after a late night viewing, I believe that I fall somewhere in the middle, which I suppose would result in a relatively loud "pop" more than a bang or a fizzle, but nothing more. For starters, Trick or Treat's soundtrack is mostly comprised by the now-defunct heavy metal outfit Fastway, an offshoot of NWOBHM legends Motorhead (and a band that would house Dave King of future punk stalwarts Flogging Molly). As cool as that sounds, I kind of wish Christopher Young (Hellraiser) had decided to score more than just a few select scenes and pieces that weren't done by the outfit themselves, as the Fastway songs tend to grate after some time and, as stupid as this might sound, start to seem very out of place about a horror film dealing with heavy metal. As much I adore this music, I think most who are equal fans of both horror and the genre of music showcased here (primarily hard rock and glam metal) would admit that it just isn't very scary. Now, if the filmmakers and writers had decided to wait a few more years and let it focus on the burgeoning Norwegian black metal scene, THEN we could have had something unique, or possibly even genuinely unsettling.

Supposedly, Blackie Lawless was offered to play Sammi Curr, the villain of the picture, but I can't find any real proof of this rumor beyond a couple of random searches. Considering that the resemblance between the two is pretty uncanny, it wouldn't have shocked me though to determine that this fact was confirmed. Instead it goes to a former dancer from Solid Gold, which is obviously much more fitting casting considering the heavy metal love that show always showed it, which is absolutely none. Come to think of it, the only remotely decent casting Trick or Treat seemed to get right was the cameos of Gene Simmons (Kiss) and Ozzy Osbourne, as a Rock DJ and anti-rock and roll crusader respectively. They look like they're having a ball for the total of the five or so minutes we see of them, especially given that the latter was in the peak of his popularity around this decade's time.


On a technical level, especially by what would come about in the latter half of the 80s when it comes to horror, this isn't a very good film. The acting isn't anything special, and the effects work is nothing to write home about. But it does have an odd little charm to it that lands it firmly in the coveted "so bad, it's good" category. And sometimes that isn't a bad thing whatsoever, especially since those results still produce general happiness and a great deal of smiling faces, even if they have to include the use of alcohol to produce such results. After all, if you can find a sillier horror film involving an undead rock star firing electricity out of a guitar at an audience of unsuspecting folks, then I'm all ears.



Tomorrow, I'll be back for a post-marathon recap and some other thoughts from throughout the month!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 28

Horror novelist Roger Cobb has been dealing with a plethora of troubles as of late. For starters, he is recently separated, his son has disappeared without a trace, and just recently, his Aunt Elizabeth has committed suicide. Under pressure to write a followup to his latest novel, the Vietnam veteran decides to move into his recently deceased Aunt's house, hoping to write a novel about his past horrors, cleansing his soul and clearing his mind. But soon after moving in, strange happenings begin to occur, and Cobb begins to believe that this house may resent his very presence.


Once you recognize that Steve Miner, the man who has worked on the first three successful and popular entries in the Friday the 13th saga (and subsequently directed the latter two) is the director behind 1986's House, a quite bizarre, but surprisingly amusing take on the haunted house formula, you're almost ensured a good time (Sean S. Cunningham, director of the first entry in that franchise, would also produce this picture). Unlike those particular features, it obviously isn't a bloodbath or anything resembling a slasher, but it does have that same sort of tongue-in-cheek fun you would see quite a bit of that year and in years to come. Later in 1986, Miner would also serve as a second unit director on the very under-appreciated Night of the Creeps, which also shares the same storywriter as House in Fred Dekker.

I have to commend House from the very start for its casting, because it sure was nice to see William Katt in something that reminds us of his once-promising talent, instead of the garbage he would end up floundering about in, such as a particular killer fish film remake released in 1995 and Asylum knockoffs you can buy as cheap coasters. Earlier in the month, I had completely forgotten to mention his portrayal as Tommy Ross in my original review for Carrie, but as good as he can be when he's playing it straight, he's also got a good knack for slapstick if the project calls for it, and Roger Cobb seems to be a good mixture of about eighty percent seriousness and twenty percent comedy, though most of it shows up in the final third of the reel. His vietnam flashback sequences weren't quite as convincing however, coming across far more comical than I'm sure they were meant to be, even in a film that's generally considered a horror-comedy by most of its fans.


The supporting cast is a mixed bag for the most part. George Wendt of Cheers fame shows up to play the obnoxious, but lovable neighbor, portraying the character with a sort of blissful ignorance that almost delves into potential helpfulness that I couldn't help but sort of love. There's a tiny subplot involving former Miss World titleholder Mary Stavin (who if I can add was pretty gorgeous) and her forcing Roger to babysit her kid for one night, which felt wholly unnecessary and felt like it led to nothing, other than some cool creature costumes. If there's one thing I'm discovering that I have true distaste for in horror cinema, it is the "child in peril" subplot that is just there to be there. What I do not hate, however, are some of the fun visual and prop gags scattered throughout the house that continually mentally torture Roger, including a very odd sequence involving a swordfish. I know some more jaded students of today's horror community will dismiss these as looking quite archaic though, and I can't really disagree with them, even if it didn't bother me in the slightest.

So that's pretty much House in a nutshell. Far from perfect, but still a really good time. There are some good visuals, a good story, and some funny bits of dialogue, making for a fine way to kill an half and a half. The biggest question that will come to your mind will the same one that came to mine: "How does one go about with making THREE sequels to a picture like this?" Perhaps I'll find out next year, but we're getting ready to wrap up this year's iteration of Unseen Terror anyway, and I'll need a good week or so away from reviews just to give my eyes and hands a break before I even start contemplating such a thing.



Tomorrow, we jump forward into the 1990s yet again, with the much beloved (or is it?) EVENT HORIZON!

Unseen Terror: Day 25

Well, the curse of the internet strikes yet again, as unfortunately the router AND modem of yours truly has been on the fritz over the past day or two, though thankfully some access has been recovered due to the help of a much more technologically-sound friend. Thus, yesterday and today's entries will most likely be up within twelve to fifteen hours from one another, as I was unable to even view day twenty-five's movie yesterday whatsoever until this very morning. Anyway, let's move along.

Successful mall Park Plaza has installed a new security system, including shutters scattered throughout  and across all exits. It also includes three high-tech, non-threatening security robots that will disable and subdue thieves and intruders if trouble should arise. One night, when four couples decide to spend the night in the mall after it closes down, lightning strikes the plaza, heavily damaging the circuits of the robots. The couples find themselves trapped, being pursued by the now-murderous creations, and must utilize what they can in order to survive the night.


Jim Wynorski is a pretty well known celebrity in the world of exploitation and horror cinema. The man has worked with the Corman family quite a few times throughout his career (Roger's wife Julie produces this effort), though you could make the argument that his second picture, Chopping Mall, was his biggest success since he's gone on to make a lot of real garbage, like Ghoulies IV and Raptor, the Piranha 95 of the Carnosaur franchise. He's also the man behind some fine cinematic porn parodies such as The Bare Wench Project and Para-Knockers Activity (I KNEW there had to be a decent parody of that franchise out there!), so.......there's that for you.


After starting up Chopping Mall, my first thought was that I was wondering if Wynorski was intending to make this as a horror-comedy, because this was a clear case of forgetting to pack in any genuine scares or suspense. Not that this is a bad thing of course, since I still love to have great fun. My second thought was "Hey, there's Kelli Maroney from Night of the Comet! And cult movie queen Mary Woronov!" Unfortunately, the latter only shows up for a small cameo as her character from Eating Raoul, something I keep meaning to check out one of these days. Everyone else is fairly fun too, and Barbara Crampton of Re-Animator fame even shows up to show off her....talents. The kills range in quality, from the surprisingly gory to the shockingly tame, but as I've pointed out before with other movies from this year's list, it may have been a little hard to compete with certain slasher pictures that were out at the time. There's also a pretty stupendous synth-based soundtrack that can grate at times, but comes with the territory of 1980s schlockfests.


Chopping Mall's originally released title was Killbots, despite the term never being uttered a single time in the entire picture. Its initial box office intake was poor, most likely due to this exact reason, or due to the fact that people watched the TV spots and trailers and most likely thought it was going to be incredibly dumb, which isn't far from the truth. When it was re-released on home video under its new title, it understandably gained a cult following, and has its now fairly infamous following. Plus, how can you go wrong with those enticing posters, as somewhat misleading as they might be? By no means is this a masterpiece, but you can get some kicks out of this cheesy, ridiculous piece of 80s horror goodness.


"Thank you, have a nice day."



Tomorrow (or even, today), we jump forward a decade and dip into BODY MELT!