Unseen Terror 2017: Day 18

EPA worker Steve Malone is sent to rural Alabama, where he is hoping to test the possible effects that the nearby military base has on the ecosystem. Dragging his second wife Carol, stepson Andy, and his own daughter Marti with him, it doesn't take very long for the group to settle into their new abode. One day after young Andy runs away from school, seemingly scared of his new classmates' conformist-like behavior, he is picked up and delivered back to the house by helicopter pilot Tim Young, who Marti immediately bonds with. Within a staggeringly short amount of time, the Malone children begin to notice something highly unusual about the town: most of their familiars appear to be utterly without emotion. In fact, after one falls asleep, it's as if they are barely human anymore once they wake up...



There are two things that need to be said right off the bat before I type this review: I'm not a humongous Abel Ferrera fan (my thoughts on his 1979 effort The Driller Killer made that well-known), and despite my like for 1992's dark and sleazy Bad Lieutenant, his style of filmmaking just doesn't personally do it for me. The second is that this marks the FOURTH adaption that I've seen of author Jack Finney's classic 1955 story titled The Body Snatchers (five if you can count 1998's The Faculty). That is remarkably absurd, if not slightly unhealthy on my part. Still, two of those official interpretations and big screen handlings have been nothing short of great, with my only miss coming in the form of 2007's clunky and forgettable The Invasion. So I figured that with this year's Unseen Terror, there would be no better time than the present to visit 1993's Body Snatchers. Plus, with a shocking amount of recognizable names working in the script and story departments (Stuart Gordon and Dennis Paoli of Re-Animator & From Beyond, Larry Cohen of The Stuff & Q-The Winged Serpent), it just seemed that it was too big to fail.


After the final, depressing minutes wrapped up, I'm certainly glad that I took this chance, as this particular version manages to try something a little different to separate itself from its predecessors. For starters, Body Snatchers feels even more self-contained that I expected it to be, and despite the obvious threats and implication of future domination, most of its running time has the film's long tenure inside of a military base. To me, it didn't appear that the priority of spreading this "infection" worldwide seemed to be the main focus of its (many) antagonists though, or at least not until when we spot one leader passing off instructions to vehicles about their destinations. I'm not quite sure if that was the wisest move to make though, considering that there are several stretches where it does begin to drag a little until the events pick up. Speaking of that, Body Snatchers seems to have a bit more of a focus on providing more thrills and action than any other translation of the source material, though it isn't without some genuinely chilling and disturbing moments thrown in between. And yes, it does include a new version of the now infamous "Snatchers Scream."


While Body Snatchers does lack some of the same star power that the 1978 picture possessed (cue review plug), it isn't slouching in the acting department. Gabrielle Anwar, who some modern fans will recognize from Burn Notice and The Tudors is our main heroine, and she does play a damn fine one. The panic and paranoia seeping throughout her being does feel quite human and fairly realistic, as does her younger costar Reilly Murphy, who plays her kid brother and initial discoverer of the sudden change in loved ones and cohorts. Meg Tilly (The Big Chill) also has a great, if not criminally small role as their soon-to-be emotionless stepmother. She is involved in a particularly great sequence wherein she delivers a monologue about why resisting is utterly futile (don't sue me). It comes across as somewhat understandable, especially when you think about how dark and dreary this cruel world can be. Unfortunately, Anwar's costar Billy Wirth (The Lost Boys) just isn't given enough of a strong character or background to work with, and while we should be feeling concerned for his own safety, he just felt rather flat (the same can be said for Forest Whitaker's supporting role). Truth be told, most of the soldiers and personnel are fairly boring as well, even before the replacement process has begun. If this was supposed to be a metaphor for how soulless the armed forces can be, then they somewhat succeeded. I'm still a fan of the concept of fearing change and shattering the typical portrait of American society that was so vividly found in the other flicks though.


Complaints and quirks aside, I did find Body Snatchers to be a pretty decent watch, even if it doesn't really hold a candle to the other movies that came before it. The mood and atmosphere are appropriately chilling, the special effects rather nice (watching the "husks" dissolve is a standout), and it ultimately gets the vibe and feeling of hopelessness right, which is possibly one of its two or three most important aspects. As of this review, Ferrera's vision is available on a Blu-ray from Warner Home Video, and most services such as YouTube and Amazon Prime have it for rent. Ultimately, whatever iteration of the story you choose to temporarily or permanently purchase depends on how much you are willing to spend, or if you have a preference for certain decades' releases.



Just don't give any of your time to Invasion of the Pod People though. It's Asylum's knockoff, and you'd be better off letting one of these aliens destroy your body instead.




Tomorrow, we hop forward a bit and see if an Indiegogo fund can truly help (love)craft a competent horror movie!

Unseen Terror 2017: Day 4

High school student Bill Whitney could not have a more ideal life. He is well-loved by most of his fellow students, dating one of the most attractive cheerleaders, has the position of future class president all but secured, and even drives the newest Jeep model that is out on the market. And yet even with all of these luxuries, Bill can't seem to shake this feeling that something isn't quite right with his personal life, and in particular, his upper class parents and their friends. Bill's suspicions are confirmed when the ex of his sister shows up with a tape of what sounds like his family members participating in something tawdry and unusually carnal. As time goes by, and every single shred of evidence of misbehaving seems to vanish just as quickly as it appeared, Bill begins to wonder if perhaps he is just crazy, or if, as they say, society really is to blame for everything.

Well then, it certainly didn't take long for an entry to appear that would absolutely mortify me, did it?


1989's Society is a motion picture that I admittedly only became aware of two or three years ago, and that was mostly through word of mouth and recommendations from friends who are most likely reading this right now. I was more than familiar with director Brian Yuzna's body of work, be it with a pen in his hand (Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, From Beyond), overseeing other's projects (Re-Animator, Dolls) or sitting down in the big chair himself (Return of the Living Dead III). The man always seemed like a very humble, unassuming human being, but after recently sitting through his directorial effort, I have to wonder if that is a front. Any living, breathing creature who would head a project like Society can not be normal. Or at the very least, they mask a much more demented sense of humor and large stash of psychedelics that have yet to be released to the public.


Forgive the pretentiousness of these next few words, but calling Society a movie just seems so archaic. This truly is a one-of-a-kind experience, and the entire cast and crew want you to be sure of it. Writers Woody Keith and Rick Fry, who would go on to craft the script for another Brian Yuzna-helmed vehicle, deliver a script that is equal parts sick satire, legitimate paranoia, and mind-numbingly weird "body horror." Think of it as when someone throws The Wicker Man, Heathers, and The Stepford Wives into a blender, but throws in a dose or two of LSD. Billy Warlock of Baywatch fame is our protagonist, and it was nice to see a twist on the whole "I'm angsty and my parents just don't understand me" cliché that has become so tiresome and overused in nearly every genre out there. His descent into becoming more and more of a nervous wreck garners genuine sympathy, even if we could rarely identify with people like him in real life. You begin to feel as if you are going mad yourself, but thankfully there are actual answers towards the end of Society, so you aren't left hanging and wondering what the hell just happened. Truth be told all of the acting in here is fairly good, and from what has been confirmed on the Blu-Ray for the film, Yuzna himself was even genuinely shaken up by some of the discomfort that co-stars like Tim Bartell showed on screen during the (understandably) infamous finale.


And if we are on the topic of that finale, I do not recall ever seeing a motion picture conclude in a way that it literally left me speechless for half of its final act. There is no possible way to describe it other than saying that special effects artist Screaming Mad George (Freaked, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4) must have been having the time of his life and should have received a complementary 24-pack of whatever beverage he wanted after filming had wrapped. One slight knock some might have against the film does involve its very....erm, slimy final twenty minutes though. Most of what the newer members of the general audience and cinephiles will remember are the big revelation of what has been going on and the absolute depravity that follows, but I can see complaints pile up that it is "boring" until those moments occur. It doesn't hurt the rest of Society's overall quality for someone like me who is used to these sort of things, but as I stated with my review for Prom Night, this kind of slow burn can be off-putting for others of the more "ADD" horror crowd. But hey, the joke is on them since there are some fairly funny bits of black humor and commentaries on still-relevant concepts, such as how silly we as a society (not apologizing for that) are for viewing things like party invites as being bigger priorities than your family possibly being murderers.


The controversy that follows Society around to this day is something that doesn't surprise me, but I am glad to see that over time, the flick has developed more of a following and appreciation for George and Yuzna's hard work on it. The men certain have an eye for distinct visuals and frequently help create things that you have never seen before. As such, this is the most elementary way to describe just what Society is; an over-the-top, bizarre satire about the battle between the rich and the poor, with a wrap-up that will very likely make you lose your lunch if you are unaccustomed to these sort of things. If you have a strong stomach and a very twisted sense of humor, Society is available to stream on Amazon Prime (its picture and audio quality are splendid too!). If you have a few more dollars to spend before the holidays approach, you can also purchase the slam-packed and bountiful Blu-Ray from Arrow Video.



Or perhaps, if your loved one is as truly demented as you are, they will buy a physical copy for you, and it will contain an invitation to one of these "social gatherings" that are held for the wealthier classes.



.....hey, I'm not knocking it until I try it.



Tomorrow, we jump forward a bit into the year 2017, and have two pint-sized baddies pay a visit to the blog.

Unseen Terror 2016: Day 19 & Day 20

Living on an isolated farm with a motel attached to it, Vincent Smith and his sister Ida run a meat-smoking business that is the talk of the town. Though he can not reveal the secrets of the wonderful taste to anyone who asks, his reasons are more than understandable. During an evening unlike any other, young couple Bo and Terry seemingly crash their motorcycle near the residence, and they are taken in by the elderly farmer. When the young woman awakens, she is informed that her boyfriend unfortunately did not make it through the night. Unknown to Terry, this could not be further from the truth, as it turns out that this kindly duo has been secretly kidnapping civilians, trespassers, and anyone stupid enough to venture near their property. Why is this being done you may ask? Because it does take all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent Fritters...



You know, I was initially going to review the Italian knockoff Cruel Jaws today, but decided against it once I figured out I would very likely end up going insane from viewing yet another creature feature. Plus, when you consider that the Italian flick is mostly comprised of footage from at least two of the legitimate sequels in that franchise, what would be the point?.....Okay, it will eventually happen. But for now, I figured that viewing a much-discussed, thirty-six-year-old underrated gem was far more important than anything else.


Here's a very fun fact: 1980's Motel Hell was originally conceived as being a very serious picture, akin to similar, powerful pieces such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Psycho. With the attachment of director Kevin Connor, whose previous efforts included many adaptations of works by the legendary Edgar Rice Burroughs (At the Earth's Core, The Land That Time Forgot), and screen legend Rory Calhoun (How to Marry a Millionaire, The Texan) as the lead, it seemed like those who had their ears to the ground were in for quite a ride. As luck would have it, the movie did turn out to be quite frightening, but in the most hilarious way possible. Yes, it has the unassuming, slight redneck vibe that permeates throughout some of the pictures mentioned above, but it also plays out as more of a parody and black comedy above anything else. It seems all too fitting that this came out prior to the absolutely insane "slasher" boom that was to come along very, very soon.


Categorizing Motel Hell as another motion picture in that subgenre feels slightly dishonest though. Its interesting cast of characters, including the ones whose sole purpose just appears to be nothing more than an unintelligible head, are very memorable. Vincent (Calhoun) and Ida (Nancy Parsons of Porky's fame) are so ridiculously charming that one almost wishes to see them in future sequels, and even when their big secret gets out to select individuals, you still find yourself sort of rooting for them to just keep going about their business and to not get suckered into the trappings of turning into the typical "crazed villains." The most fascinating decision made in the field of performers came seeing Chips star Paul Linke as Ida's obliviously stupid brother/town sheriff, and his comical ignorance just kicks the flick up a notch or two. Another interesting fact comes from the casting of Nina Axelrod as the closest thing we get to a heroine with occasional lapses into Stockholm syndrome. She's certainly got a lot of moxie and talent, though one wonders what could have happened to her had she also landed one role that she tried out for after Motel Hell was released to theaters. If that wouldn't be the weirdest one-two combination known to fans of cinema across the globe, then I don't know what would have been. To her credit though, she did get the opportunity to star alongside of Leonardo DiCaprio in his first film role.


If I were to have one gripe with Motel Hell, and it is one that I can not remain quiet about, it comes from not fully living up to the bloodshed that it seems to promise. Conceptually, the audience is fully expecting something truly satisfying in the gore department, but aside from some lacerations obtained during a chainsaw fight in the final act (no, you didn't read that wrong), it is a shockingly tame picture when compared to its cinematic brethren. I mean come on, a bit of dismemberment is always healthy, right?.......Yikes, I've been doing this for too long. Truth be told, a majority of Connor's uneasy moments come from the audible side of things. The constant gurgling that is heard from their buried victims (made due to having their vocal chords slit and stitched up) initially comes across as fairly freaky, but by the end, you are just chuckling uncontrollably whenever they appear to be attempting to have a legitimate conversion or are trying to rally others up.


Motel Hell is a special kind of entertainment. There's an unmistakably amusing vibe to it that can't be replicated by just any other picture. Most of the dialogue and gags hold up rather well, and there is just so much fun to be had. Best of all, you get the feeling that despite the silly concept and execution, Connor and crew genuinely cared about making an entertaining flick. Did they succeed? Well, seeing as I am going to recommend that you go out to purchase the Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack from Scream! Factory, I would say that they bloody well did.



But hey, if you're pretty stuffed with fritters and meats, Day 20's entry may have the ability to work better than any laxative ever could.

Though she is soon to be married and has cold feet about the decision, Casey is taking part in her very own bachelorette party, and as luck would have it, she and her friends have chosen the beautiful Costa Rica as the last place for her to spend one more night as a single woman. During a brief foray and dip into a hidden lake, Casey complains of something biting her beneath the water, but she dismisses it as nothing particularly serious. When they arrive back home, however, the young woman begins to notice changes in her physique, with a sore or two popping up, her body becoming stickier, and the inability to keep some solid foods down. Still, she finds herself more nervous about issues relating to her future mother-in-law and the reluctance to have children. Those problems will have to wait though, as it isn't long before this innocuous issue stemming from her little nipping becomes more difficult to hide, and she begins to show signs that what remains of her humanity could be disappearing at an alarmingly quick rate.

Ever since Bite's trailer popped up online a year or so ago, my interest in checking it out (no matter how possible) has stayed virtually the same. If any single one of you know me at all by now, you know that I am a bonafide fanboy when it comes to discovering new entries in the occasionally divisive field that is commonly classified as "body horror." So, this tale of a naïve, engaged woman contracting something which causes a slow decaying of her well being, be it physical or mental, had me hooked from the very instant. Plus, considering that news of a remake of David Cronenberg's masterful The Fly seems to pop up every year or so these days, I figured that delving into what appeared to be an unabashed love letter to that movie and others of its ilk is nothing to be ashamed of.

Where Cronenberg's project succeeded in many departments, Bite does a nice job at trying to ape those positive aspects as well, though with some hit or miss results. When one considers how relatively new writer/director Chad Archibald is to the genre, some of these acts are easily to forgive, though it does reach the levels of pandering once in a while. Casey, played by Canadian actress Elma Begovic, is a perfectly fine lead character. I didn't get the same sense that she was as sympathetic or tragic like Jeff Goldblum's Seth Brundle was, especially when she just continues to ignorantly defy requests to go to a clinic (be they from friends or herself). Even as a fan of scarier pictures, I felt that at least one trip to a doctor could have made for an interesting plot point or some much-needed dark comedy, but it's honestly a minor complaint. Begovic, who reminds me of a younger Rachel Weisz (The Mummy, The Fountain) mixed with Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, American Mary), shows a lot of promise, though she does begin to unintentionally channel Vincent D'onofrio from Men in Black towards the end. While the actress who portrays Casey is more than capable of working with whatever she is delivered, I never got the same feeling from her co-stars, who did not seem nearly as invested with working on a body horror motion picture as she did. They range from stereotypical best friends who may have hidden agendas, to over-the-top antagonists who just seem to lack any means of resembling a real person. They almost bring Bite down to where you could classify it as a nastier soap opera, but their screen time is mercifully limited compared to that of our main character.

Bite's shinier aspects come from when it features no dialogue, as it just leaves the audience alone, so that they can watch a horrific, if not almost ritualistic decline of a fairly innocent human being. There is a great feeling of isolation once Casey realizes that something is terribly wrong, and makes the decision to lock the doors of her apartment out of fear and massive anxiety. It's a clear homage to more claustrophobic flicks from the likes of Roman Polanski, and even some mentally exhausting releases such as 2006's massively underrated Bug. But of course, what is very likely to stick with viewers long after they have finished Bite is the work in the effects and makeup fields. For a film that presumably lacked a larger budget that is (usually) liberally handed out for experiences like these, there are some rather good moments that can turn the stomachs of most female viewers, including a dream sequence involving Casey and a pile of eggs, and a brief scene of her slowly pulling off a fingernail (which will ALWAYS manage to make a gore-hound like myself feel queasy). Admittedly, one wishes that it could have dived into the territory of the aforementioned Cronenberg masterwork, or even concocted some nightmarish designs ala Rob Bottin (The Thing), but as I said, it is very likely that the cost of the movie was nowhere near as expensive as it could have been. Props to making Casey's residence begin to gradually resemble a hive from Aliens though.


Bite does seem to be more concerned with grossing you out rather than trying to change the face of body horror, as it suffers from having some very basic dialogue and unresolved plot points, as well as worship that can be just as detrimental as it can be complimentary. But you know what? Sometimes, that is perfectly fine, as the overall experience was such a joyous one for someone like myself. Perhaps shooting it as a something that was done solely in the first person could have been a nice experiment, and a bold attempt to push the genre forward. But as it stands, it's a fun, decently nasty ride and a real treat when you consider that we rarely get these kind of films anymore. The movie can be obtained for a rather cheap price at most retail establishments, and, if you read this in time, the whole thing can be viewed on YouTube at THIS link.



Oh, and if you ladies out there (aka all two of you who read this) are looking for a double feature to make you never want to have children or be around creepy crawlies again, be sure to watch this back-to-back with Lucky McKee's "Sick Girl" from Masters of Horror. You will thank (or shiv) me later.




Tomorrow, I am off to catch Evil Dead: The Musical with my family, so I can not blatantly give away what the choice I have in mind is, and nor can I give a hint. Still, you never know what is to come on here, especially with what opened up this weekend.......

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 31

Elizabeth Driscoll, an employee at the San Francisco health department, awakens one random day to find that her boyfriend is acting unusually cold and seemingly distant. Upon contacting Matthew Bennell, her colleague from work, they discover that even more individuals around the city have been seemingly sucked of all emotions. Though others are more believing of the fact that maybe it is just pure coincidence, the two are decidedly convinced that something is awry, and begin to investigate further. After a mutual friend comes across a blank-looking, rapidly-changing body in his bathhouse, the trio uncover the reason for these odd occurrences: alien organisms from a dying planet that are intent on replacing the entire human population.

So, we've finally come full circle. We've reached the end. With these upcoming paragraphs, I will be concluding this year's Unseen Terror, my yearly, though not only foray into horror movies that I have never seen. When I began piecing together this year's October blog-o-thon, I couldn't have imagined that I'd be opening and closing with essentially the same story, even if they are written and directed by two entirely different grown men. True, their release dates are separated by more than a few years, but Philip Kaufman's remake/re-imagining of the classic Invasion Of The Body Snatchers should not be thought of as just another hollywood revamp. In some ways, it equals or rivals the original film released twenty two years earlier, and certain aspects could arguably be superior to its previous adaptation.

For starters, the score is a lot more straight up horror-based, which I didn't think was possible given that Carmen Dragon did a phenomenal job himself before this version came out. Denny Zeitlin composes pieces that don't feel completely confined to their own decade. It doesn't sound like a soundtrack from the 1970s, but rather like something that could fit in at nearly any time or year. This is all the more surprising when you consider that it's done by a man whose primary media-related work outside of this was Sesame Street. The fear and underlying message of conformity still remains from the 1950s, as does some of the same plot elements and sequences (there's even a Kevin McCarthy cameo!), but it ultimately plays out more like a traditional suspense/horror flick than a science fiction shocker. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The '78 version of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers is immediately more open with showing the viewer how these creatures have arrived on our planet, expanding on their reasoning and logic behind why they choose to do what they're currently doing. Never before have I been so creeped out by watching flowers bloom and plants grow. We're also given an explanation and answer for what exactly happens to the original bodies once the replicating process has wrapped up (something that the original never made completely clear to the audience), and it is fairly unsettling, if not a tad bit disgusting. I've never wanted to see a naked woman less in my entire life. Thanks folks. Another standout moment is the extraterrestrial beings emitting a very shrill, slightly animalistic cry when a human is discovered hidden in their group or walking in the streets, which bears a similarity to the cries of the Nazgul from The Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

Though I was fully and begrudgingly aware of this iteration's ending going in (do not partake in a google image search if you want to avoid spoilers), I feel that it is far more appropriately bleak than the original's, with a final act that simultaneously breaks your heart and somewhat restores hope. This prior knowledge proves to be an irrelevant factor in the overall entertainment of the motion picture, since the build up and main story is incredibly well done, with the tension becoming nail-bitingly fierce. Now that I think about it, and as blasphemous as it sounds, I may just recommend Philip Kaufman's version of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers over Don Siegel's 1956 picture of the same name. There's a great cast full of equally exceptional performances (it is so bizarre seeing Leonard Nemoy in something that isn't related to Star Trek), it tones down some of the blatantly old-school"heebie jeebies" vibe that could unfairly be classified as lame by today's youth, and is, to quote Marge Gunderson, pretty darn good.

Yeesh, did that dog with a human face look really, really stupid though. And it doesn't make the best amount of sense. Scratch that, it makes NO sense whatsoever. But shit, I watched a movie with a caterpillar-dog not that long ago, so perhaps I'll cut it some slack.

Tomorrow, I shall spend a good portion of my day NOT watching any horror films, and will be giving my senses a break. That being said, I will be happy to discuss my final thoughts on this year's iteration of this "blog-o-thon" that I thoroughly enjoy doing, and will even disclose information about pictures that didn't make the cut!

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 7

One random day, a silent thug named Han-ki notices a beautiful young woman conversing with her boyfriend on the streets. Though she stares at this man as if he were a lowly, filthy dog, he forces himself on to the woman in broad daylight, kissing her intensely while her boyfriend struggles to break up the embrace. With the help of nearby soldiers, she breaks free and he is publicly beaten, and thusly humiliated. Shortly thereafter, Han-ki sets out to ruin her life, eventually forcing her into a life of prostitution. And yet, through all of this sudden darkness and embarrassment, why can he not stop obsessing over and protecting a woman who has wronged him so?


Okay, now THIS was a mistake. Yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised by my viewing of 2010's Bedevilled, a film that one could argue isn't a true horror movie, but more of a thriller. Whatever you choose to call it, the picture was remarkably made and at times, very disturbing. Unlike the former, however, director Kim Ki-duk's Bad Guy, is not a horror movie. At all. The best comparison would be a dark, eerily romantic drama. I will confess to being lead astray and just plain bamboozled when I read the synopsis off of the DVD that I purchased from a now-defunct Blockbuster Video quite some time ago.


So because of that, I feel that I owe those of you taking the time to read any of this year's entries a real horror movie review. And with that, I can just sum this picture up with these next few sentences. The movie is more of a twisted, and yet oddly poetic take on voyeurism and stockholm syndrome, with almost disturbingly realistic portrayals of pimps, gangsters, and whores occupying its cast. It's well-directed and well-acted, though it can be hard to keep up with, especially with how slow it moves. Overall, it seems like one of many pictures that I would have caught years ago at a random screening in an independent theater. You'll either like the film a lot for uniquely provocative and sucking you into a very strange love story, or find it misogynistic, boring, and at times nonsensical. I'll have to get back to you guys in a few days so that I may tell you where I officially stand.



But let's move on to a real horror movie now, shall we?

During a visit to the morgue, a rather ghastly-looking coroner tells us of three different tales of terror for any unexpected visitors who have decided to drop in. The first revolves about a young woman's inaugural night working at her new, mostly isolated gas station job. Our second story focuses on an older man obsessed with keeping what hair he has on the top of his head left, and possibly gaining more, regardless of what the cost may be. Finally, our third segment will take us into the life of a once-promising baseball player who has received an experimental eye transplant after a car accident claimed one of his own, though calling this procedure a "success" might not be the most accurate of descriptions. 


Thank goodness for John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper. Interestingly enough, I had actually planned on viewing their horror anthology Body Bags much later during the month. As my own incompetence would have it though, it shot itself higher up on the list, mostly being used as a remedy and apology for the film above (not that Bad Guy is a terrible film). And besides, even at their absolute worst (*coughVillage of the Damned, The Manglercough*), the masters behind Halloween, The Thing, Poltergeist, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre among others, can still manage to conjure up something watchable.


Right off the bat, I could tell that Body Bags wasn't meant to be taken too seriously, harking back to classic television shows from the 1980s such as "Tales From the Crypt" and "Tales From the Darkside." Not surprisingly, this was originally pitched to the Showtime Network back in 1993 as a newer horror-based television show, but the channel and its executives at the time decided against picking it up for syndication. This desire and adoration for the aforementioned programs is made all the more present by John Carpenter himself playing our host, covered in three hours' worth of makeup, and only identified as "The Coroner" during the closing credits. He is appropriately kooky, spouting off the occasional one-liner and really corny pun, though thankfully it doesn't become overkill as it would with the now-infamous pop culture icon that we've all come to know as "The Cryptkeeper." Don't get me wrong folks, I respect and dig that ghoulish little freak, but he doesn't exactly age well (pun intended I suppose), and most of the jokes uttered by him age about as well as a moldy bag of fruit.


Moving on and diving into the stories themselves, our first one up is entitled "The Gas Station," which takes place in the fictional town of Haddonfield, Illinois (location of the first Halloween movie!), and revolves around a newly-employed woman being incredibly cautious during her first night at work, especially after her fellow coworker has informed her of a serial killer having broken out recently. Despite some decent blood and makeup work, and the cinematography helping convey a good sense of paranoia, the first segment is honestly the weakest of the three. It's a bit too formulaic and predictable, coming across as something from a leftover weekend writing session. Hell, it even features a small sequence of Carpenter recycling his own material (Halloween's blurred "fake out" shot), which is just odd to behold coming from someone of this caliber. Mostly skippable.


I can most likely discuss "Hair" and "Eye," the final two segments in Body Bags, within this same paragraph. Both feature our recognizable leads (Stacy Keach, Mark Hamill) receiving transplants that seem out of the ordinary (a hairpiece, an eyeball), both feature said leads' girlfriends and/or wives initially becoming marveled with the miracles of modern science, if not a little upset after some time has passed and their personalities have become slightly warped, and both stories lead to shocking revelations about where these new body parts emigrated from. Though I think that both of the final pieces of this compilation are worthwhile and adequately made, "Hair" takes the gold medal as the most entertaining story, solely based on Stacy Keach's delightfully fun and amusing performance as a man who marginally resembled my own father (at least during the height of his "rock and roll" period), but is far more frightened of going bald than any person that I've ever known. His doctor is played by the always excellent David Warner, who could read excrement from the likes of Danielle Steel and still make it sound awesome. Mark Hamill is the lead in "Eye," and he isn't too shabby either given that he has to convey many more emotions than Keach does during his tale, but I have to deduct points from it for one single thing: I have never, EVER wanted to see Luke Skywalker's bare naked ass. Thank you gentlemen. I'll go wash my eyes out with bleach and napalm now.


One more positive about this fun little anthology is its abundance of notable cameos, particularly from the horror and "cult" film genres. I wouldn't have a problem disclosing some of them now, but I have invested far too much time tonight watching films and working at my store. Okay, that's a fancy way of me saying that I'm very tired and want to go to sleep as soon as humanly possible. It's disappointing that Body Bags didn't make the cut for Showtime and become a regular, recurring show for them. It's even worse that we never saw a followup feature with more assorted stories. But for now, you can enjoy the film free of charge on internet sites such as Youtube. And if you end up grabbing a bag of popcorn, a twelve pack of beer, and a few open-minded friends, you can even order the recently-released Blu-Ray of the film from any retail store or internet shopping network, complete with interviews and several commentary tracks!



But as I said above, you'll have to look at Mark Hamill's behind. And in HD for that matter. *shudder*



Tomorrow, I ignore a motion picture's own advice, as I choose to view Don't Go In The Woods!

Unseen Terror 2014: Day 1

And lo, it arrived. A day unlike any other. A day which would begin a marathon of nearly forty motion pictures associated with the genre that perturbs and bothers most of humanity: horror. It is a journey that very few would ever choose to partake in.

Except for a pretty darn good amount of people on the internet. Such as James Rolfe. And Chuck Dowling.

Eh, screw it.

I'm in my fourth year of doing this. Yes, I'm as surprised (and slightly disappointed) as you are. Over the years, I've felt that this has become slim pickings for me, at least in terms of providing quality entertainment for which to write about. Still, the advent of streaming sites, assorted video hosting services, and good books will always help keep my interest piqued and my passion fiery. So let's dive in, shall we? And for those of you who are new to my yearly tradition, I say welcome! I always welcome feedback, comments, and your own thoughts.

In the small town of Santa Mira, California, doctor Miles Bennell has been receiving an unusual amount of strange complaints and calls from patients, all based around the same peculiar observation: the claim that their loved ones aren't themselves. Though they may still physically resemble the same individuals, the emotions of these people are seemingly stagnant. Some initially dismiss it as "mass hysteria," but the good doctor has his reservations. Soon, he slowly unravels a horrifying extraterrestrial-based plot that aims to replicate and replace every human being in the world.

My first exposure to this now-classic science fiction/horror piece came from two different, although eerily similar sources. First, there was the Looney Tunes short "Invasion of the Bunny Snatchers," which you can still watch at this link. The second was a short from the comic books based on "The Simpsons" entitled "Immigration of the Body Snatchers," which you can read at your local comic book shop…hey, I was a weird kid, okay? Either way you slice it, I was very familiar with the original source material, although I had never actually sat down to watch it in its entirety.

Which is a damn shame, especially considering how well and still effective a movie like Invasion of the Body Snatchers really is. For starters, it is brilliant in its simplicity. The idea of all living creatures, be they bipedal homo sapiens or other specimens, being replaced by soulless, emotionless, and "blank" aliens, is a concept that could truly worry any rational-thinking person on the planet. If you were absolutely convinced that such an act were occurring, but felt that nobody would listen to you and that there was no easy way out from this madness, wouldn't you too go a little mad? Invasion plays exactly like an old serial, or even an old short from a comic book. Oddly, neither of those provides the source material for this particular film (that belongs to the novel The Body Snatchers by Jack Finney), but head honcho Don Siegel, later of Dirty Harry fame, directs this script (adapted by Daniel Mainwaring) with an honest-to-god seriousness and overwhelming sense of paranoia, and it isn't hard to see why it is held in such high regard all of these years later. Oddly enough, the movie was primarily shunned upon its release, which I can only assume was due to the abundance of "heebie jeebies" films being released throughout the decade.

While Siegel is certainly a good director, and composer Carmen Dragon (yes, that's really his name) weaves together a pretty outstanding score (keep an ear open when watching the Looney Tunes homage I discussed above), I feel like one of my main gripes lies in something that has just always been a pet peeve of mine. Invasion of the Body Snatchers' acting can be quite hokey at times, even if a large portion of it is mostly confined to parts of the first act. Don't get me wrong, Kevin McCarthy is FANTASTIC as Dr. Miles Bennell, and Larry Gates and King Donovan (how badass of a name is that?) are enjoyable as two of his confidants who discover this horrible breach in their mostly-secluded community. The others? Well, Dana Wynter is a classic 1950s beauty, but I thought she could have expressed a little more emotion here and there (I'm not enough of a scumbag to make a joke in relation to the title), primarily because of her decision to take on the pivotal role of Bennell's ex-girlfriend who is stuck in the middle of this horrible conspiracy after returning home to discover her cousin's uncle acting rather odd himself. I'm sorry if it sounds blasphemous, but while I certainly respect an immense amount of actors and actresses from this time period, most of their methods and performances just don't seem to click with me the way that some of the more prominent roles from the mid-60s and onward do. Besides, Wynter's American accent begins to slip towards the end. And I'm a real nitpicking jerk when that type of stuff happens.

My assholery aside, the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers is one of those stories that can stand the test of time and be told, updated, or reinterpreted while still never losing its primary themes or failing to creep out the audience. Its message on the fear of conformity, especially in a post-war period or tragic timeline, or even the grievances of disgusting tactics began by McCarthyism (which in short, is a form of witch hunting through defamation) can resonate with most cinephiles. There's also the metaphor of sleeper agents lying in wait to get us when we are at our most vulnerable (perhaps the fear of falling asleep played one of several influences on a young Wes Craven), which can still be felt today with such shows as The Americans and movies like Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Most importantly, you could also choose to just view it as a good science fiction story, and enjoy it all the more (though I personally could have done without the seemingly forced prologue and epilogue). After all, they've only remade this THREE FRIGGIN' TIMES since its release, though you can probably skip the last of the three mentioned.

And heck, I don't think that the title "The Capgras Delusion" would have helped garner as much attention anyway.

Tomorrow, we're going to make things slimy, as I begin a brief foray into the realm of bugs (and sequels!) with Mimic 2!

Unseen Terror 2013: Day 26

When the men and women of the small town of Pebbles Court begin to receive doses and pills for a new "supplement" pill in the mail, they take it with no qualms and objections. Nicknamed "Vimuville," the pill has been produced in order to produce a better breed of human beings. There are, however, side effects and different "stages" for the subject . The first, is hallucinations. The second, is potential organ failure. The third, is deterioration and deformation of the body.


Within literally ten seconds, I see that Australia's Body Melt is distributed by "Dumb Films," and if that doesn't set the tone for the remaining eighty minutes to come, then I can assure you that nothing will. I'm also subtly reminded that I need to desperately expand my "Ozploitation," or in layman's terms, Australian exploitation, motion picture repertoire. So far, I can recall seeing this and the very underrated killer boar picture Razorback, but not much else beyond that. This needs to change within the next year or two.


There's a very satirical edge to this film, be it in the focus on perfectionism with the "pill" that causes the eventual title effect, or the very odd side plot with two dopey young men encountering a small group of inbreds and essentially running into the story of a different type of horror film. As fun as it is, there isn't a great deal of plot beyond some scattershot stuff here and there. In fact, I don't really believe our "protagonists" were even given much in the way of backgrounds, and with the fact things are structured, you could make the argument that it feels like a collection of shorts pieced together based around one subject rather than one, coherent, cohesive story.


Viewers with a fear of decay or a fear of needles will naturally steer clear based on this title alone, but even for those with cast iron stomachs, the content found throughout certainly doesn't help matters. Even with its modestly low budget, some of the ways that people are dispatched of in Body Melt could give Peter Jackson's earliest works like Bad Taste and Braindead a run for their money in the department of disgusting, with the filmmakers' admiration for the man being very apparent. But, you do have to suffer through a fairly nonsensical plot (for what one there is) and a lot of boredom in order to get there, and unlike Jackson's works, the humor inserted and shot into the film just isn't that strong. The best bits are provided by the very off-putting family of inbreds mentioned above, but their entire side story feels like it wasn't even necessary in the end. In fact, most of the decisions for placement of humor, for as little as it is used, and the heavy emphasis on blood and guts and not much more, makes the movie come across like a group of blood-hungry fanatics making something for the sake of having a "gore fest" under their belts. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I get the feeling that if these folks could have predicted the future and foreseen something such as Youtube coming about, this would have made a killing there, such as the "Le Bagman" short from all those years ago because it was "so nasty," but for nothing else.


Lastly, Body Melt could house the most inappropriate soundtrack I've ever heard in my entire life, with an absolutely absurd mixture of techno and early to mid 90s-era instrumental alternative rock. Writer/Director Philip Brophy is lucky that juggernauts U2 are presumably not horror movie fans, as nearly everything in the latter category sounds directly ripped from their early 1990s works, and they most likely would have flipped out and tried to sue someone. True, this probably could have helped the movie turn into a box office monster, but still. In the end, I'm not entirely sure what to make of this one. There is some great, repugnant gore to be found here, especially considering the budget, but not much beyond that. It's worth a watch, but nobody would blame you for actually giving into temptation and just "skipping to the best parts."



Tomorrow (or today), we're keeping it messy with THE DEADLY SPAWN!