Unseen Terror 2017: Day 9

It's the year 2003, and the ultra-powerful corporation known as Chaank Armament are under fire from the press and the public for their controversial project known as "Hard Man," which strengthens mere fighters and soldiers to almost superhuman levels through cybernetic enhancements. Unfortunately, the latest experiment with the procedure has gone awry, with many innocent lives having been lost due to a malfunction by its deranged creator Jack Dante, whom some within the company want to be let go as soon as possible. A large portion of Chaank's employees are fearful that the backlash and negative publicity will cause them to lose several contracts, yet there are those, such as new Chief Executive Hayden Cale, who would actually go to great lengths to see these changes implemented. After a series of events leaves Jack unemployed, the mad architect unleashes a secret invention of his: a towering, murderous monstrosity nicknamed "Warbeast," which is comprised of metal, gnashing teeth, sharpened claws, and pure malevolence.



That plot description for Death Machine, a 1994 cyperpunk/thriller/horror film sure does sound alluring, doesn't it? After all, I can dig the idea of a robotic, hulking piece of metal that is controlled by an egotistical scientist with delusions of grandeur. Plus, as an added bonus, we have the director of Blade sitting in the big chair.....wait, didn't he go on to direct The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen as well? *readjusts note* Ahem. As I've learned over the years, however, a good concept and idea doesn't necessarily guarantee a quality picture. This is all the more true when your script is seriously intent with shoving in as many references and nods to other Science Fiction properties as it possibly can and if you just can't keep up an exciting pace. But more on that later.


Initially, I was not aware that actor Brad Dourif, who is making his second appearance for Unseen Terror this year, was actually the top billed performer for Death Machine. Sure he is playing a villain, but those instances where the bad guy receives a larger screen credit that the rest of his colleagues is a rarity in cinema these days (one that comes to mind for me is Tim Burton's Batman). I certainly was relieved to see his scraggly-haired, smarmy, psychotic hide show up though, because he does the best job that he possibly can to ensure that you don't fall asleep or wander off. It won't go down as one of his more well-known roles, but for purveyors of comically bad over-the-top acting, it's always a delight to see him in even the crappiest of movies. The only other slightly recognizable faces in here are Richard Brake (the lone standout of last year's fairly hideous 31), who desperately needed more screen time than most of his cohorts, and a then-debuting English actress named Rachel Weisz, who at the age of twenty-four, does show signs of her future potential considering that she appears for a grand total of about ten seconds. Disappointingly, most of the main cast just seems far too content on attempting to ape our aforementioned Child's Play alum, and instead come across as trying far too hard to be bad or shaken up.


Thankfully, what isn't bad are the technical aspects of Death Machine. Considering that this wasn't  exactly gifted with a wide release into cinemas, the set designs and special effects are fairly okay. The titular beast looks surprisingly good, resembling sort of an Alien Queen-meets-cybernetic Tyrannosaurus Rex hybrid. It's one of the cooler-looking creations that I've seen pop up on here in quite some time. The film also has a certain mucky, bizarre look to it, giving off the impression that this version of 2003 (or the "Near Future" according to the opening scene) must absolutely stink to live in, as it is overrun with big corporations and a disregard for human life or safety. But those positives could be Death Machine's only non-Dourif aspects worth praising, as it gets stuck in the mud by clinging on to the choice of utilizing "movie worship" a little too much. Don't get me wrong, I can get some amusement by seeing that a trio of activists are named as obvious nods to Aliens and Evil Dead, and Brake's character is named "Scott Ridley," but when you have moments which seem like a direct ripoff from the former motion picture, as well as a showdown between two machines of comically different proportions, you just start wondering why you aren't watching one particular flick from the late 1980s instead or whether Roger Corman was secretly involved in the production. And for Lemmy's sake, you really aren't being subtle whatsoever when one of your executives is named John Carpenter. If you really want to see properties which wear their influences on their sleeves but don't constantly shove it in your face, go watch The Cabin in the Woods or Stranger Things. Worse yet, the moments of silence or inactivity that litter most of the second half (i.e. when Dourif isn't planning to sic his pet on the hapless group) don't really add as much intrigue as they should, which ultimately leaves you feeling a tad bit bored until the Warbeast comes calling.


In the end, there isn't a great amount that's worth salvaging from Death Machine. True, it does sport a solid-looking "monster" and Brad Dourif turns in a wonderfully unhinged performance like usual, but the movie is too reliant on nostalgia and hoping that you won't just choose those other films in the genre that it clearly loves oh so dearly over their one instead. As of now, you can purchase a rather cheap copy of the movie over on Amazon, but that seems to be about it for availability. I have serious doubts that this will ever see even a halfway-decent release on Blu-ray, especially since it's been reported that director Stephen Norrington was rather dissatisfied with the final cut and the flick has undergone several changes on the home video market since then because of it.



Better yet, if you just want to save your hard-earned cash, you can watch the best scene in the movie below.

Tomorrow, my love of horror and professional wrestling clash in one giant, bloody bonanza! But will I get swerved?

Unseen Terror 2016: Day 26 & Day 27

Well, we're getting down to the nitty gritty of this year's Unseen Terror, and I won't mince words when I say that I am a tad bit drained (both mentally and physically). Still, no rest for the wicked right? Speaking of that, let us venture into the familiar realm of the sadly-departed Wes Craven, shall we?

Day 26 was kicked off by what I would refer to as one of the director's "transitional" projects. Released four years after breakout hit The Hills Have Eyes, but only three years prior to our first interaction with a particular claw-adjourned psycho, 1981's Deadly Blessing is an odd little picture. The plot concerns a widow who is still mourning the loss of her husband, as he was killed under mysterious circumstances via a tractor pinning and crushing him against a wall (happens all the time). At his funeral, she notices the members of his old religious community mourning him from afar. When the woman's friends arrive to check up on her, a series of strange events begin to occur, and they start to wonder if these previously-seen individuals have diabolical plans for the lot of them.


Though it's the furthest thing from a completely original concept, the initial storyline for Deadly Blessing had me intrigued. After all, there is far more to fear when it comes to the influence of organized religion than with any boogeyman or unnatural creature. There's always a good opportunity to craft a movie with a sense of dread, intrigue, and atmosphere. Hell, the masterful gentleman was even smart enough to bring back Eyes character actor Michael Berryman in a small role, and the distinguishable-looking Ernest Borgnine as a memorable, bearded leader of the not-quite-Amish folks who frequently view the widow as an "Incubus." Finally, there's a young Sharon Stone (Basic Instinct, Casino), who at the rather young age of twenty-three, willingly allowed a real spider to be dropped into her open mouth. Hey, it can only go uphill for you from there hon.


So, with all of that working in the film's favor, does it amount to a good experience? Unfortunately, I would have to say that it does not. The ideas of exploring the evils of cults and digging deep within a secluded society of those who adhere to a strict set of rules is fine. As mentioned above, given the time period when this came out, it feels as though Craven was just sort of trying to go for a different approach to horror after being (unfairly) dismissed as a director who dealt exclusively in nasty motion pictures that appealed to only the most sadistic of viewers. But my goodness, does Deadly Blessing drag. A lot. Playing out more like a darker mystery or suspense flick rather than a traditional scary one, it feels disappointingly restrained, mostly uneventful, and quite tame (save for the rather insane final twenty-something minutes).


Deadly Blessing just never really feels like it lives up to its own potential. As blasphemous as this may sound, I think that if the decision were made to remake this, I would be the furthest thing from upset. All of the little flaws scattered throughout and the frequently sluggish pace can be easily fixed if it is put into the hands of competent filmmakers (someone like an Adam Wingard or Ti West could probably knock this out of the park). Still, if you are a Craven collector, and haven't let my negative words discourage your interest, there is a Blu-Ray available from reputable distributor Scream! Factory, and it is available to watch on the Amazon Prime streaming service.



And when you consider that this looks no different from a made-for-TV presentation, I don't see any way that the picture quality or restroration on an actual disc format doesn't look infinitely better in comparison.




Hmm, sounds like I could use a picker-upper though, right? Let's take a gander and see what's out there....

...............................................................nah.

To absolutely no one's surprise, I am cheating again (cue Eddie Guerrero jokes) for Day 27's entry. I have watched Wes Craven's return to the essential positions of the franchise he helped spawn (a feat that even he never suspected would, or should have happened) on more than a few occasions. Bluntly and brilliantly-titled Wes Craven's New Nightmare, the movie was a much needed return to form for not just the distinguished writer/director himself, but for the iconic Freddy Krueger as well. Despite my enjoyment of the various sequels that preceded this, there was no arguing that the Nightmare on Elm Street series had degenerated into a bit too much camp and not enough genuine intensity or horror. And yet, considering that the sixth sequel to the 1984 classic has more than a few of its original cast members returning, it is a non-canonical movie.


In an attempt to breathe some new life into the (then) rotting corpse of the maligned slasher genre, studio head Bob Shaye contacted Craven, asking that he return to the big man's chair and somehow find a way to bring Freddy Krueger back to life. Yes, fictional serial killers have escaped death multiple times throughout the years, but film distributors New Line Cinema had said themselves that there would be no continuation in this franchise after a fitting, titular conclusion was released to theaters in 1991. Unsurprisingly, Wes was not interested in concocting some absurd premise behind the dream master's resurrection. Instead, a very ballsy idea was put from pen to screen: we were going to bear witness to what folks would classify as a "meta" picture. True, this type of practice was not completely uncommon (1985's Return of the Living Dead also toyed with the possibilities), but given that previous outings had included sequences wherein victims were transformed into pizza toppings or shoved headfirst into a television, this could be harder to pull off than one would think.


The story for New Nightmare begins with Heather Langenkamp, the star of the original 1984 picture, having graphic, horrific nightmares that deal with mishaps on the set of a new Elm Street flick. Even stranger is the constant harassment that she has been receiving from a fan through the mail and over the phone, who constantly spouts quotes from the series' antagonist (which the actress had dealt with in real life). It also seems to reflect onto her own son Dylan (Pet Sematary's Miko Hughes), as he has been dealing with issues of his own that are related to sleepwalking and traumatizing episodes. Initially dismissing these as just freak occurrences, Heather is soon approached by film studio New Line Cinema, who ask that she reprise her role as Nancy Thompson in a sequel. Reluctantly, she agrees to take the part, but only after discovering that her husband Chase has been working on the project in secret. One evening, Dylan is caught viewing the first film on television, and as Heather awakens him from his night terror, Chase is contacted to immediately return to the house, but falls asleep at the wheel and perishes rather brutally (with his body in the morgue sporting multiple slashes across the chest). Following his funeral, a queer set of events begins to unwind, which sees the truth about Freddy Krueger's entire reason for existing coming to light.


There is certainly more than a few instances of cleverness found throughout New Nightmare's aforementioned synopsis, whether they're in the homages to several iconic scenes from its cinematic forefather, or even just in the way that Craven and crew manage to take a few tiny shots at how absurd the dumbing down of the franchise has become, which includes seeing children in the audience of a talk show where Robert Englund is supposed to appear (in complete costume no less!). Most of the creator's vision is fully realized here, and he smartly brings Krueger back to his origins as a nearly-inescapable evil with malicious intentions and no time to joke around. Freddy also receives an upgrade in the costume and makeup department: he appears to be much closer in appearance to a proper burn victim, with more sinister-looking eyes, a trenchcoat, and a reconstructed glove that is more skeletal and grossly organic in design. Purportedly, this is what was conceived during the first film's pre-production stages, but for whatever reason, it never came to be until now.


At this point, it should be the furthest thing from a shock to hear that the cast of characters in an Elm Street film are pretty fabulous. Tracy Middendorf, who would ironically pop up again down the line in MTV's Scream television series, plays Julie the babysitter. Limited as her screen time may be, the young lady has tons of spunk and personality, and had this iteration in the franchise not existed, I think that writing some variation of her as a potential lead or love interest to another protagonist would have been great to see. We also see the reappearance of series veterans like John Saxon, Lin Shaye, and (naturally) Robert Englund, who I'm certain was fairly excited to be playing a far more serious version of the villain that fourteen-year-olds constantly ask him about at horror conventions. Then again, he's never half-assed it in any of the subsequent follow-ups. But, the highest praise has to be reserved for the wonderful Heather Langenkamp, who is out in full force here. Channeling unbridled rage, frustration, and passion that no doubt came from a myriad of incidents related to/following her initial casting from back in the day, she turns in what I personally consider to be her finest performance to date as an actress. She has grown as a person in so many ways (as has every single soul from film #1) and it reflects here. Miko Hughes plays a good toddler in terror as well, and even if I can be down on kid actors from time to time, I've always felt extremely sympathetic every time that he is being terrorized here. I mean, who wouldn't scream if a horribly deformed man tried to unhinge his jaw like a snake and swallow you whole?


Though any respectable fan of the scarier side of cinema knows well enough by now, New Nightmare is a truly great entry in the Elm Street saga. It stands as a delicacy for longstanding fans, casual newcomers, and those who express interest in the sort of morose, bizarre obsessions with horror's influence on the general populace and the continuous need for milking a cash cow. Furthermore, it is one of the few self-reflective pictures in this subgenre that I firmly believes needs more projects akin to it. Unbeknownst to the audiences who ventured out to see it, New Nightmare would also serve as a prototype of sorts for another Craven-led ditty that would change the game (again). Currently, the film can be purchased in a wonderful Blu-Ray box set with the other entries in this franchise, and is available to stream on Netflix along with another underrated Craven flick in Scream 2.



Which leads me to close off today (and yesterday's) entries with an older tweet that comes courtesy of film critic Kim Newman: "Wes Craven reinvented horror at least four times - most directors don't even manage it once." Despite an occasional hiccup here and there, the man's filmography is the type of resume that most will strive to achieve, though I'll be damned it they can even come close.



Rest in power Wes. I love you and miss you.




Tomorrow, I'm in the mood for some rock and/or roll to go with my cinematic terror. Who's with me?!

Unseen Terror 2015: Day 10

Six years have passed since the horrific massacre at Hull House that left multiple partying teenagers dead, and save for initial organizer Angela Franklin, authorities have recovered all of the bodies. Still, the rumor persists that Angela inhabits the abode, her soul having descended to hell and returned as a demonic entity. On the other end of town, the youngest of the Franklin children, Melissa, is staying at a Catholic boarding school, having been orphaned following her parents' suicide after her sister's disappearance. Despite having multiple nightmares about her sibling, Melissa is coerced by her more vibrant, and occasionally mean schoolmates into sneaking out and attending a Halloween party at the abandoned residence. Before long, the servant of satan resurfaces, expressing her intentions to leave and rejoin the land of the living, no matter what.



Two years ago, I was lucky enough to watch the beloved 1988 horror-comedy classic Night Of The Demons. In fact, should you have some extra free time, you can read my thoughts here. Without spoiling too much, I can safely say that it still stands as one of my favorite discoveries from doing this yearly tradition, and my gorgeous t-shirt from horror apparel fanatics Fright-Rags should be proof of that. Truth be told, had I gone back on my plan to watch the entire Leprechaun franchise (which indeed seems to be a reality), both sequels were on board as alternate picks for 1994 and 1997. Well, seeing as how I can only stand Warwick Davis spouting morbid limericks for so long, the final decision to take a look at the hideous demon Angela's return from hades was made.


And oh Angela, Angela, Angela. I could go on for days about much I love Amelia Kinkade as an actress, though it would most likely bore every single person who isn't well-versed in the field of scary movies. You can tell that she just relishes playing the antagonist of this series, combining camp, seductiveness, and idiosyncrasy better than most people would give her credit for. Heck, she even makes it a habit to dance to an obscure song choice for no reason other than to captivate you and get you spreading the gospel of Night Of The Demons (for #1, it was Bauhaus. For #2, it's Morbid Angel). It is a bit depressing to hear that she's distanced herself from these pictures over the years (mostly due to thinking that there's too much negativity in the world as it is), but at least she didn't go too crazy and become a pet psychic or something.

.......I have to learn to keep my mouth shut.


Anyways, despite being the face of this franchise, Kinkade isn't the main focus of any installment. Unfortunately, I believe that this is what sinks this particular sequel, leaving you wondering as to who was who (save for a younger Christine Taylor of Dodgeball and Zoolander fame), even when the body count starts to rise. Yes, most of the female cast sheds articles of clothing at a shockingly high rate, and Jennifer Rhodes portrays possibly the coolest nun in the history of horror cinema, but the rest of the cast is just so unbelievably bland (and look far older than any teenager you'll ever see), it makes the occasionally one-dimensional cast of the original flick look fleshed out in comparison. When they finally get a time to shine, attempting to show some personality, sixty minutes have passed, and they require the assistance of tools such as water balloons filled with holy water (something reused for From Dusk Till Dawn) in order to get over with the audience. Don't get me wrong, it leads to some funny moments and fun kills, but it felt a little cheap.


I could have predicted this even before writing anything down, but once I left the 1980s portion of Unseen Terror's "Dirty Thirty" iteration, the thought entered my mind that my choice in horror films this year was going to eventually hit a large, noticeable snag. Thankfully, Night Of The Demons 2 just barely scrapes by as a good enough time for when you have some spare time to kill. Had it not been for the niece of Rue McClanahan-turned-crazy animal lady and the final third of the motion picture, I don't know if I would have been so kind to this sequel. Still, if you have some extra cash lying around, it is available to rent on Amazon Prime for about $2.99, and can be purchased online from select retailers for assorted prices, though the Blu-Ray may be harder to obtain these days that it should be.


Tomorrow, good ol' Clint Howard makes a return to Unseen Terror, and it may be his most infamous appearance to date...