Unseen Terror 2019: Day 20

It's hard to believe that it's been twenty-six years since we last saw one of the kookiest and spookiest families in pop culture make their appearance on the big screen (1998's Addams Family Reunion went straight-to-video). Given the renaissance that all things macabre seems to be having right now, bringing them back from the dead seemed like an easy and sensible task. Directed by the duo behind 2016's notorious Sausage Party, this new story about the peculiar, morbid, but undeniably charming family facing off with new, uptight neighbors does pack some style, but it lacks any real substance. However I'll save my "dumping" for later, because I did smile a lot more than I frowned during this flick's short running time.


Prior to its theatrical release, you may recall hearing that many older fans were up in arms about the "interesting" redesigns of the titular family members themselves. Some of them appear to be unusually pointy-looking, and to say that they sport comically strange body proportions would be a friggin' understatement. Honestly, I never really understood the complaints about the new look of the characters. It's far more faithful to their original designs from the golden age, and you'll get over it fairly quickly. Even if you don't, there's no denying just how well they're portrayed by this rather stellar voice cast. It would not shock me if most of this picture's budget went towards snagging as many noteworthy performers for this as they could. There's Oscar Isaac as Gomez, Charlize Theron as Morticia, Chloe Grace Moretz as Wednesday, Finn Wolfhard as Pugsley, and Nick Kroll as Uncle Fester just to name a few. They're all bringing their 'A' game (pun possibly intended) and there's a good chance that they could also help you forget about any weaknesses found in the script. Moretz and Theron are the movie's highlights, and they seem to be relishing the chance to play characters that they likely grew up watching. Allison Janney also delivers an entertaining, if not familiar performance as the flick's antagonist. They all seem to have great chemistry with one another, but again, you grabbed a chunk of the top dogs in the industry for this story so that's to be expected.


Unfortunately what hurts this new version of The Addams Family is that when you remove the occasional darkly comedic joke and stellar voice acting, it's painfully cliched and predictable. If you are put off by tropes that plague nearly any and every film catered towards children these days (even Pixar is occasionally guilty of this), then there's a very good chance that you'll be rolling your eyes on more than a few occasions. There are numerous story arcs in here (primarily based around the kids) that unfold exactly how you expect them to, and while I do understand that this is catered to a much younger audience than prior on-screen adaptations were, this is still very disappointing. It all comes to a head with one of the laziest third acts that I've seen in an animated flick in the past few years. It's kind of a shame because I still maintain my opinion that both of the movies directed by Barry Sonennfeld in the 1990s are perfectly fine for all ages (though some supervision may be required), and even if some of the jokes will fly over the heads of very young viewers, there's a good chance that they'll still enjoy the hell out of them.


Ultimately, this new iteration of The Addams Family is a real tossup. Weaknesses aside, I did laugh on more than a few occasions and do respect its unique animation style. I can't in good conscious recommend it to anyone except for parents with younger kids or people who refuse to buy physical media (I don't want to know those people). There's no reason that this couldn't have been cut and re-edited into the basis for a television series on a network like Nickelodeon or a service like Netflix.



Come to think of it, I'll check back in about a year to see if that becomes a reality. Hell, they did it with Kung Fu Panda and How to Train Your Dragon. And fucking Barnyard.



Tomorrow, it's time to put the kids to bed because the director of The Manchurian Candidate and Ronin is gonna unleash a killer creature on us poor fools!

Sausage Party (2016) Review

It's another morning at local supermarket Shopwell's, and confident, excitable wiener Frank has only two goals for the day: to end up with Brenda, a neighboring hot dog bun, and to be handpicked by the hands of the "gods" themselves. According to legend, those who are chosen to take the journey to the great beyond will experience pure bliss, being treated like royalty while surrounded by their utmost desires. After one fateful, but rather messy day, the two find themselves separated from their packs, while the rest of their respective groups of friends are taken away to the promised land. Banding together with a whiny bread product named Sammy Bagel Jr. and a rather grumpy Vash named Lavash, the group set out on an adventure that will expose a horrifying reality for all consumable items that could change the very means of their own fragile existence and once-thought perfect future.



Honestly, after pasting that poster and typing up that synopsis seen above, how does one even properly start a review about a theatrical release such as this? Admittedly, conjuring up something worth saying about a film that was most likely born out of way too much free time and entirely way too much marijuana and psychedelic use is far more difficult than it sounds. Writer/producers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, who at this point on are the furthest things from strangers to regular cinephiles, seemingly have some of the biggest balls in the entertainment industry. They have not only managed to keep the idea of the "stoner comedy" alive and well, but recently even managed to finally adapt one of the most popular comic books of all time to television after so many before them attempted or failed to do so. Conceptualizing and realizing a motion picture such as Sausage Party is just so incredibly strange though. After all, an animated tale about food that must band together once they realize that their ultimate fate is to end up inside the mouths and stomachs of those who they once cherished and revered? That....is a really, really silly basis for any big screen show that cost nineteen million dollars to make. In fact, it borders on just plain idiotic, with the possibility of this series of niche jokes wearing thin after a shockingly short amount of time has passed.


Thankfully, Sausage Party, directed by animation veteran Conrad Vernon (Shrek 2, Monsters vs Aliens) and relative newcomer Greg Tiernan, is also incredibly, absurdly funny. In fact, next to February's Deadpool (the argument for which flick is more crude will certainly pop up soon), I can't recall a time this year where I laughed this much in a theater. A sizable chunk of the movie's humor is built off of running with the "ridiculous" factor, managing to appeal to a wider array of fans than even those who viewed the trailer would believe that it could accomplish. True, most audiences will still consist of real-life counterparts of those who we saw throughout pictures like Half Baked and Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle, but it won't be made up of solely dopes like some critics think that it will be. It's like picking up a cheap item on the menu from a restaurant that you expect to be at least decent, but are surprised that its taste and size is actually comparable to that of the more expensive entrees.


For a premise that looks fairly simple on paper, there actually is more going on in Sausage Party that one would suspect. There are the food equivalents of race wars and divides, religious conflicts, and multiple discussions about sexuality that permeate throughout its crisp, smooth running time. Of course, the obvious hot dog and bun jokes are something that even your average eighth grader could come up with, as are some of the puns and one-liners from our primary antagonist of the picture (hilariously voiced by the supremely underrated Nick Kroll), but they're forgivable in the long run considering how many quips, one-liners, and amusing anecdotes manage to stick their landing so well. There is also a fairly funny allegory for arguments about one's views on deities. It also strays away from one of my very few fears that I had about the trailer by not shoving any sort of theme into the picture about not consuming certain products. Every single piece of produce, meat, spice, and sauce are treated equally in the film, and you feel horrible for any segment that involves their grisly demise. Mind you, there is a good chance that you will be laughing heartily during said sequences too like I was doing more times than I could count.


Some may complain that Sausage Party's animation is pretty average, and you wouldn't be incorrect. Hell, I can think of a myriad of pictures released by DreamWorks during the first half of the 2000s that look better than this. But if you were looking for that to be your main draw or attraction, then I believe that you are searching for the wrong type of flick. As one would also suspect, the voice cast is rather large and in fine form. Sure, Seth Rogen and his usual band of misfits and cohorts are here (ask me who in particular shows up, and I can answer "yes" to each guess before you even finish their full name), but after this many products have been released that feature his name attached to it, you should fully expect that. Some Saturday Night Live alumni also pop up, including Bill Hader (Trainwreck, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs) as an aged bottle of whiskey who somehow manages to convince me that one can smoke assorted things through a kazoo, and Kristen Wiig (Ghostbusters, Welcome To Me) as Frank's buxom, fluffy love interest. However, snagging veteran performers like Edward Norton (American History X, Fight Club) and Salma Hayek (From Dusk Til Dawn, Frida) could not have been an easy task. Then again, if I was the former actor, I might relish the chance to voice a bagel who utters the phrase "mashugana cunt" if the opportunity presented itself to me.


I am well aware that there are younger people who occasionally check out my own reviews, but I would say that as a closet one myself, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are living proof that all stoners or potheads should not be stereotyped. Heck, movies like this were made to be enjoyed with friends who are equally sick-minded and willing to drink a beer or partake in smoking something that should not be illegal before the screening takes place. Sausage Party is a much more well-crafted project than it has the right to be, balancing outrageous, vulgar humor with some heart, a clever script, and a fairly good message about solidarity during times of chaos and violence. Oh, and its third act manages to jump the shark in the type of manner that drives it from "good" to "great." In a way, it's the foulmouthed, deranged cousin of another animated release from earlier in the year that also had fine intentions and preached what we all need to be hearing in this tough climate that we are waiting for to be over in several months from now.



Let's just hope that's the last time I ever compare a motion picture from Disney to another film containing rampant use of bath salts though.

Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (2013) Movie Review

One night while visiting his mother's grave, Barry Allen, a.k.a. The Flash, is alerted to a break-in at the Flash Museum, led by his arch-nemesis Professor Zoom. With the aid of his fellow Justice League members, the villain's plans are thwarted, but not before Zoom taunts the hero about the flaws of his past mistakes, causing The Flash to retreat in frustration. The next morning, Allen wakes up in his office, and finds himself in a new, unfamiliar world, where his mother is alive, his powers are gone, the Justice League never existed, and the world is being torn apart by an Atlantean/Amazonian war. With the help of a newer, darker Batman, Barry attempts to fix and reconstruct his own timeline.


It is rather hard to believe that we are now into the seventeenth entry of movies within the DC Animated Universe . Releasing seventeen films in only six years must certainly be a time-consuming task, as is adapting many of the company's more popular works into feature-length motion pictures. Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox is based on a 2011 storyline by renowned comic book author Geoff Johns, which was DC's final event leading into their New 52 reboot. This massive crossover relaunched every ongoing title at the time and, in some cases, even rewrote popular history with particular fan favorites. It is also the first starring vehicle for the fastest man in their world, The Flash, though it isn't the first time the character has been in an animated film, and one could argue that is the most mature and darkest entry in this expansive list of animated features.


Right off the bat, the voice work for Flashpoint is anything but common. Andrea Romano has been a voice director for nearly every entry in the DCAU, be it television or movie, and she gets great performances out of nearly everyone involved in this project. Savvy veterans and fans will immediately recognize fan favorites such as Dana Delany, Kevin Conroy, and Nathon Fillion returning to the roles that made them famous among us comic book fans and 90s cartoon kids, and newer participants such as C. Thomas Howell, Michael B. Jordan, and Cary Elwes absolutely knock it out of the park with the roles they've been given. While I'm always going to believe that Susan Eisenberg is the definitive Wonder Woman, I am starting to get around to Vanessa Marshall's portrayal as the princess of Themyscira, who is absolutely ruthless and cold-blooded here, with very few traits of compassion to show for it. Kevin McKidd plays his incarnation of Batman rather well, but you end up wishing he had brought down the "gruff" aspects just a tad. Not everyone with a five o'clock shadow needs to sound like they've been smoking constantly.


There are also a great amount of cameos scattered throughout the film, which too feature some notable and distinguishable actors and actresses. Some end up advancing the story forward, while some feel like distractions meant to appeal to those who are wondering where their number ones are. Personally, I would have liked to see more come about from these with a longer running time, as it gives the viewer only a few minutes to attach themselves to any of them before they either return to their respective cities/armies, or are just plain offed. I do understand that Flashpoint is a condensed version of a rather large story, but I would have been willing to wait a few more months for a release if these steps had been taken.


Alas, the overabundance of characters, be it negative or positive, is but a small gripe in the end, as Flashpoint's main issue comes from one striking, and very hard-to-miss flaw: the art style is really, really unpleasant to view. Compared to previous efforts, the way these characters are drawn looks incredibly flat or even disproportionate at times, especially in the first fifteen minutes. Designs on the faces in particular almost appear to have been shrunken down to parody-levels of oddness. If you are reading this and thinking that it can't be that noticeable, I may remind you that your eyes are working perfectly fine, and disregarding this can be a truly difficult task. Barry Allen's perceived "mommy issues" may also grind the gears of less tolerant comic book fans (to which even Professor Zoom points out), but hey, people put up with it when Bruce Wayne's the one pouring it out, so why not someone else this time?


Despite my problems mentioned above, Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox is still a good amount of fun, at times emotionally resonating and arguably better than its source material. Speaking of emotion, I myself didn't have any problems with the levels of violence here, but it will be quite a shock to more sensitive parents who may be skimming over this in a store and thinking it is "just another comic book movie." The film's official rating is PG-13, and they certainly take advantage of this. Characters die rather memorably, there is some mild swearing here and there, and the overall tone may be too dark for any younger children to take. If this doesn't bother you, however, then you're in for a heck of a ride. I recommend a Blu-Ray purchase if you have the money and capability, as the plentiful amount of extras will enhance the overall fun factor as well.